Generally sleepdeprived

[mindllessdreaming]

and the winner of superwholock is officially??? no one. we all lost. congrats team

[buggyhuman-blog]

[redundantz]

Link Between Rooms

[holy-leapin-splits-batman]

[abortionado]

They’re calling me every slur under the sun over on twitter for this post

[cilceon]

Would you sell liquor to this baby

Yes

No

I don’t think life begins at contraception but I’d still sell liquor to baby

Voting ended onAug 6, 2025

Wait hold on rb canceled that’s the wrong word wait no stop

[boccher]

i think every british journalist should just be gunned down

[maidthings]

On the small soggy wet archipelago that makes up the modern day united kingdom, sunny days are a rare phenomenon. As such, the peoples of england cherish each and every one, even going so far as to write songs about them in their local music. With sunlight in such high demand, to block it deliberately is nigh unthinkable, hence their cultural confusion at the invention of the parasol.

[softlyfiercely]

i love how weird kids are. they make up the most bizarre stuff when left to their own devices and it's never what an adult would naively predict a kid would do in their imaginative play

my friend's 5 year old recently got a toy veterinary medicine set - it's super cool, like one of those mini play kitchens a lot of kids have, but it's set up to pretend to be a vet (it's this thing) - it has stuffed animals and things to weigh them, give them medicine, take x-rays, write on their charts, etc.

so this kid, who is five and to my knowledge has no experience in the administrative bureaucracy of modern healthcare, puts a stuffed pig named Piggy on the exam table. she pretends to draw blood from Piggy using a fake syringe, and the blood goes into a toy test tube vial that she calls "the resulter"

i'm playing with her, right, so i'm like, awesome, what are the results of Piggy's blood test? and she says "we have to send it to the scientists." so we send the vial to the scientists (put it in her bedroom) and when we get back to the vet playset i'm like awesome what did the scientists say? and she says they have not gotten back to us yet

so she rolls her eyes, exasperated, and says we have to call the scientists. she pretends to call them. apparently, they tell her that Piggy's blood test is "at the bottom of the list" and "we have to WAIT." she frowns. we wait a bit longer and call them back. they tell us it will be a while! she says we should go ask the scientists in person so we go back to her bedroom and she inquires at this imaginary lab, at which point the scientists yell at her and tell her now they will make us wait even longer!

keep in mind she is 100% directing this play. she is making all this up. she is fully in control of this game, and she has decided that what we are going to pretend is that we are dealing with this exhausting nonsense, not actually treating Piggy.

finally the blood tests come back. they are inconclusive. the scientists do not know what is wrong with Piggy. the little girl walks back to the stuffed pig on the exam table, sighs deeply, and says in a very serious voice "we can never help you."

i'm obsessed with this kid. when given complete control over a make believe scenario, instead of becoming the heroic rescuer administering effective cures, she is instead a beleaguered vet making multiple calls to an overworked lab only to be left unable to help her patient.

10/10 no notes. kids are amazing

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I used to watch a toddler and this one time she decided that my arm stretched across a doorway was a magic portal to other lands. My arm was a boom gate type of thing that had to raise up to let her go through the portal. I was like, cool, we're gonna go on adventures in some imaginary world full of stuff she likes.

Nope, she spent an hour troubleshooting and repairing the gate, which was broken in multiple ways. We never activated it.

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

“oooh i need junji ito to write me an essay” okay so youre a little baby so youre a little baby waby who needs mommys help

[rapidlydecayingcorpse]

not junji ito. where did he come from. this is supposed to say chatgpt

[kla1991]

[voldemo]

My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian 

[voldemo]

its like ive never seen herbivore

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[pangur-and-grim]

fairly reliably when someone is mean and weird to you on Tumblr, you can look on their blog and all their recent posts will be about how unhappy they are in their interpersonal relationships and/or how frustrated they are that their creative venture hasn't found success. and it's like ohhhhh okay, I get it. you're clawing at other people because you're actively drowning. my sympathies, that sucks, but I'm not a lifeguard so carry on.

[busket]

did i ever tell you guys that in the mid 2010s there were a couple blogs that were talking shit about me and trying to cancel me for stupid fandom bullshit (I had a porn blog and I shipped billford oh nooo) and I had them blocked but sometimes I couldn't help ragebaiting myself and checking their blogs anyway to see what they were saying. so I used a browser extension to redirect their tumblr urls to crouton.net. and sometimes i would forget and be like "oouugh lemme see what those little shits are saying now" only to be brought to crouton.net instead. it immediately dissolved any anger or curiosity i had about what someone was talking shit about me. I was instead like "oh, crouton. thats right...looking at that stuff isnt good for me. thanks crouton" like it probably actually saved my mental health in college tbh

[markovchaingang]

RULES FOR DATING MY DAUGHTER:

my daughter cannot, through action or inaction, harm a human or allow a human to come to harm

a daughter at rest or in constant motion remains at rest or in constant motion unless acted upon by another force

daughters are never created or destroyed, only transformed

always treat every daughter as loaded, even if you know she isn't

you do not talk about my daughter

[kintatsujo]

for the most part I have ended up replacing "dude" in my vocabulary with "boss" because it's gender neutral and it's easier to just replace certain words than to watch who you say them to (like I still SAY dude but a lot less than boss)

Anyway the major effect of this is that it makes me sound like a mafia henchman sometimes like "I dunno about that boss"

[mewnosodenwyma]

[bisonrimant]

🐰

[Id 1 to 4: A wood carved round and plump rabbit. Its ears are against its back. On picture 3 we can see a little round tail. Its eyes are carved and paint in black with white and grey.]

[orcboxer]

and the post begins

because otherwise it gets kind of visually confusing to parse, which is annoying to some folks, including me

GRANTED not everybody uses the same theme or even the same update. you might have noticed my version of tumblr is earlier than yours (I don't like the new button setup)

but still, it's just about being polite

so now you know

[homunculus-argument]

I love it when people respond to witnessing some tomfuckery before noon with "it's [time] in the fucking morning" like it's too early to be witnessing some ridiculous nonsense. As if the bullshit has a schedule, can't start hijinks before five o' clock. Them people doing bicycle jousting with umbrellas at 7 am have been at it for 5 hours now.