Tumblr dot Comedy

Shut up I'm hilarious m / cis / ally / US East Coast My avatar was drawn by my younger brother, @brokenimagefiles. In case you're curious, "sudo rm -rf /" is the Unix command to wipe your hard drive.

[tooies]

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

[sudorm-rfslash]

[dogpuppy]

[birds-in-posts]

What got you into birds? Fellow hobbyist here hehe 🦅🦆🦜🦢🦉🦩🐦‍⬛🦚🪿

I was a dinosaur kid and this is the natural evolution of that

[sandmandaddy69]

[charlesoberonn]

Female Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beard

Remaining time: 1 day 3 minutes

[charlesoberonn]

Child Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 1 day 4 minutes

[charlesoberonn]

Baby Dwarves - With or without beards?

With beards

Without beards

Remaining time: 1 day 4 minutes

[charlesoberonn]

They shed their baby beards to make room for their adult beards. Like with baby teeth.

[transmortifried]

idk why people are still trying to do "hear me out"s on tumblr

you could talk about wanting to fuck the space needle on here and people would still call you a poser for insisting on fucking "conventionally attractive architecture" as if that's a coherent, easily-recognizable category

[charlesoberonn]

I want to fuck Antoni Gaudi's unbuilt Hotel Attraction skyscraper design

[anatomizer]

"hear me out" and it's a picture of the most fuckable building you've ever seen. c'mon now.

[thepersonalmossblog]

“hear me out” and it’s the fucking dildopolis

[tsunderrated]

I think that episode of SpongeBob where man ray questions Patrick should be required viewing for children. Great intro to the absolute basics of logic. I just listened to an adult woman do that scene exactly and it’s genuinely so embarassing

[tsunderrated]

“Is it ever justice to punish people for crimes they didn’t commit” “no” “is it ever justice to rape someone as a punishment” “no” “so then David’s wives being raped as David’s punishment was unjust” “no”

[lokaror]

In my new gacha game, you can now pull for scantily clad anime women who represent famous airplane crashes.

[homophobla]

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

[abortionado]

They’re calling me every slur under the sun over on twitter for this post

[cilceon]

Would you sell liquor to this baby

Yes

No

I don’t think life begins at contraception but I’d still sell liquor to baby

Voting ended onAug 6, 2025

Wait hold on rb canceled that’s the wrong word wait no stop

[tiktoks-i-enjoyed]

[maidspare]

They need to make out sloppy style

[dramatic-dolphin]

people on tumblr might lack reading comprehension but reddit users are inventing new forms of media illiteracy i never thought were possible

[dramatic-dolphin]

fascinating...

[custer-mp3]

[afloweroutofstone]

My favorite category of government program to run across is "program you've never heard of doing extremely important work to solve a major problem which you have also never heard of." On that note, the US drops millions of pounds of sterile bugs over Panama each week in order to prevent a parasite infestation from moving into North America. Everyone say thank you to the Panama-United States Commission for the Eradication and Prevention of the Cattle Borer Worm (COPEG)

[afloweroutofstone]

This program had its funding cut during the DOGE cuts last year and now the parasitic worm they were trying to slow the spread of has officially arrived in the United States.

[2560x1440]

[larval-tear]

has anyone else noticed that it feels really good to accelerate in a vehicle and really bad, painful even, to hit the brakes

[larval-tear]

even simply releasing the accelerator is a deeply uncomfortable sensation and should be avoided at all costs

[larval-tear]

40 is the most natural, most human speed at which to drive through residential areas

[boywaste]

[enbaluka-tokyo-drift]

[dullahandyke]

[ID: a drawing of a guy saying "Let's not argue about who has it easier." He is wearing a t-shirt that says 'The guy who has it easier.']

[orion-archives]

"I want to be a dragon."