styofa doing anything
Love Begins
Jules of Nature
Game of Thrones Daily
todays bird
if i look back, i am lost
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
tannertan36
will byers stan first human second
KIROKAZE
Origami Around
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
JBB: An Artblog!
hello vonnie
Keni
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#extradirty
Peter Solarz
seen from United States
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@caja-de-chocolates
Dear Diary,
I still don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. The year is almost over and I can’t really say I have accomplished much not even a basic routine which was my only goal. I’m seriously all over the place. Oh well, off on a trip to Guatemala I go.
Maaaaaaaybe next year I’ll have life figured out.
I Wish
I wish I could remember what you felt like
I wish I could remember what you smelled like
I wish I could remember what you sounded like
But I can’t
The few flashbacks I have of you are silent and gray
Maybe it’s because I blocked you out for so many years
It was easier that way
Pretending you never existed
But I’m older now
A mother too
I wonder how you would have been with that news
I wonder many things of you
I know you were far from perfect but I wonder how a few years may have
changed you
Life is like a box of chocolate, some of those chocolates are expired and filled with mold and maggots inside.
me (via caja-de-chocolates)
Life is like a box of chocolate, some of those chocolates are expired and filled with mold and maggots inside.
me
I lied...
I hadn’t talked to my psychiatrist in a while. Months actually. She said I looked a bit more depressed than usual. Asked me if I had any new stressors. I lied, told her no, I guess I didn’t want to talk about it. I probably should have told her how I found my brother-in-law dead a few months ago. In an advanced state of decomposition. That is the worst way to find anyone you love. No one should ever have to see or smell death in that way. I can’t get over it. Of course life keeps going, and you push it away into the trauma box you keep hidden away in the back of your mind, but I worry my trauma box is getting a little too full. Hope it doesn’t overflow at some point...how then will I continue to hide it?
Tumblr my friend
The best thing of Tumblr is no one knows me here, in fact, I don’t even have followers...LOL
So why do I even post? It honestly helps me process some of my thoughts. Although most of them are pretty depressing, I will also try to share the good, because there is a lot of good in my life. I probably just tend to get on here when they are not so good.
Why do you look so sad?
My sister asked me this a few days ago. Why do I look so sad? It surprises them you know, that I can possibly be sad. They see me as the strong, happy little sister everyone can count on. Being sad is unlike me, after all, my life is perfect. Great husband, beautiful kids, and financial stability. I love my life, but a piece of me died a long time ago and it often shows up as sadness from time to time.
Miss me?
It’s been a few days Tumblr, did you miss me?... yeah right, I barely started dating you a week ago so I’m pretty sure you didn’t even notice I ghosted you for the weekend.
Well it is Monday, guess what, I went to the gym! I’m tired of feeling and looking like shit. It really did help my mood, gave me positive energy. I hope I can keep it up. I’ll keep you posted.
I Wish
I wish I could remember what you felt like
I wish I could remember what you smelled like
I wish I could remember what you sounded like
But I can’t
The few flashbacks I have of you are silent and gray
Maybe it’s because I blocked you out for so many years
It was easier that way
Pretending you never existed
But I’m older now
A mother too
I wonder how you would have been with that news
I wonder many things of you
I know you were far from perfect but I wonder how a few years may have
changed you
22 years
Some years it’s easier, the day comes and goes but today, well today I’m burdened by every detail of that forsaken day.
Hamster Wheel Chronicles
I woke up late today, you would think more refreshed but no, I’m exhausted. Now I’m on my computer ready to start working physically but emotionally I just want to crawl under my covers and stay there for days. It’s Thursday, so just like the masses I can’t wait for it to be Friday, after all, at least the rich man gave us the weekend to look forward to.
Tumblr oh Tumblr
I’m not really sure why I created this account nor what I will share. Should I have a theme or something? A specific message? I guess I will just share the random chronicles of a 33-year-old woman.
This never ending feeling that some day I will no longer have you...
I hate that feeling. That eerie feeling down in the pit of your stomach that reminds you nothing last forever. Maybe it’s because I learned about death early on in life as I held my mother’s hand when she took her last breath. But every time I see my husband walk out the door, I plead to the universe to bring him back safely. Or when I kiss my kids at night, I beg the gods to allow them to bury me and not the other way around. Is this normal?
Hamster Wheel Chronicles
Waking up to another day in the hamster wheel. Wake up, cook, eat, work, clean, eat, watch tv, sleep. Wake up, cook, eat, work, clean, eat, watch tv, sleep. Repeat. There has to be more to life than this, rt? I sure fucken hope so!
My Reality
To some, she will become a distant memory
But to me, she is my reality
A reality I must accept every minute of everyday
A reality I can’t comprehend
So far from the life I once knew
I’m forced to find a new normal
But in reality I force myself to pretend
Pretend that I am okay
Pretend that I am strong
Pretend a smile
Pretend a laugh
For her, for him, for every one but me
I don’t want to smile I just want to cry
I don’t want to laugh I just want to scream
Take this reality and turn it into a bad dream
A dream I can awake from
A dream I can run from
I just want the reality I once knew
The reality where I could call her
To share the bad dream that should never come true
The bad dream that is now my reality
One Day You’re Here & The Next You’re Not
This week will be 22 years since you left. I can still remember that cloudy, grayish look in your eyes as you took your last breath, it was actually quite peaceful. You couldn’t say good-bye but I could tell you were done with your stay. I was eleven mommy and I lied when I told you I would be okay...