I eat men like air

| Caleb | 24 | Queer af | Genderqueer | they/them I am a powerful gay spider. I was the kid who picked flowers in the outfield instead of caring about the baseball game currently going on.

[hotvampireadjacent]

😝what if we kissed 😮🤪 on the tower of babel 😂😂

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

What’d you just say?

[hotvampireadjacent]

😝what if we kissed 😮🤪 on the tower of babel 😂😂

[greenmossloveisreal1998iloveyou]

what ?

[siliaa-deactivated20200524]

s u r r e n d e r

[clouiis-deactivated20200916]

what is a rival if not a crush ur mad about having

[skinks]

the penalty box in hockey is such a funny concept to me. big fighty men go in the naughty cube. imprisoned for sports crimes

[runcibility]

Go to the terrarium and think about your punching, you knife-footed ice-gremlin

[aphrobites]

girls will see a chance to commit arson and be like “sorry, i have to take this”

[tofu-pofu]

girls will see a building that’s not on fire and say “is anyone gonna burn that” and not wait for an answer

[seereezy]

manager: sir your resume just says “good looking and talented”

me: am I lying though?

manager: …youre right, Im sorry youre hired

[teaboot]

Do ladies love stupid men or do they just love men who don’t exhaust every opportunity to feel smart

[teaboot]

“I used to think that melancholy was a vegetable” that’s incredible, let’s hang out more

[jumex]

due to not wanting to. I will not be

[miseducatedmelanicmuse]

[connyhascontrol]

Juice with a big mood

[divertirme-deactivated20160620]

*dies trying to hit the high notes in Chandelier*

[minyoongothic]

Not to sound Romantic or anything, but I too have a striking fascination with the irrational, the demonic and the grotesque.

[badndngirl]

him: tell me your most secret fantasy ;)

me: well… i’m out at a bar and it’s karaoke night. i’m with a bunch of coworkers, but really it’s more like we’re friends than coworkers. and it’s my turn to sing, but i’m like come on you guys, no one wants to hear me sing, but they’re like of course we do, you never sing, you have to, so i’m like okay, fine. i sing total eclipse of the heart. people are openly weeping. a record executive approaches me and tells me that he’s only here by accident on a layover but i have reignited his passion for music and can i come out to l.a. right away.

him: …i meant a sexual fantasy

me: hang on, we’re getting there

[rcktpwr]

fill your body with cranberries so the horse that kills you gets a sensual surprise when he begins to feed

[ceeberoni]

i will give the  horse that kills me no such luxury

[dankmemeuniversity]

[smatter-deactivated20220909]

FUCKKKKKKK

[ghc-deactivated20190415]

[scumfuckus]

Friends, Romans, countrymen

[airframeextender]

i come to top caesar, not to bottom him 

[love-personal]