batfamily as things my friend group has said/done:
bruce, 21 years old: “someone needs to talk me out of adopting a 17 year old bc i’m about to write a letter to the court” “bruce have you taken your meds today” “that’s unrelated.”
alfred: “i’d be worried if stephanie started dating someone who did meth because then she’d start doing meth”
dick: had to be hospitalized for eating nothing but microwave mac and cheese for two weeks straight
jason: “sorry i didn’t answer your call, i walked in on someone getting murdered last night and i felt pressured to intervene. i’m fine though. like concerningly fine. do we think this traces back to my father.”
tim: “sorry to call you at 2am but can i talk to you about nuclear terrorism? i think i just discovered russia’s secret weapon” (she did in fact discover it when we saw it hit the news six months later. she will not reveal how she discovered it)
duke: “i also know when jason is off his meds because he starts asking people to buy him hammers”
stephanie: accidentally heart reacted to someone texting her that they got roofied
cass: responded to someone confiding in her that they think they’re an alcoholic with the 😟 emoji
damian: accidentally told papa kent that he’s his favorite grandfather figure because “the spot opened up.” (the original one died)