Caliawen

Mae govannen a maedol! (Well met and welcome!) Any Questions? 18+ blog

[caliawen]

@Caliawen

Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky.

Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone.

Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die.

One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne,

In the Land of Mordor where shadows lie.

One Ring to rule them all,

One Ring to find them,

One Ring to bring them all and in darkness bind them,

In the Land of Mordor where Shadows lie.

about me | masterlist | ao3 | rp account

My askbox is always open, mellon! Requests open

[caliawen]

Hi! I just found your blog and I wanted to tell you that it’s amazing!!

I couldn’t stop reading your works, and I especially liked your headcanons 🥹 I loved every single of them! All the characters were so sweet, reading those headcanons (and the fics too of course) made me feel so loved and cared of, they gave me a comfort that I didn’t know I needed (but I really did, and I want to thank you for that❤️). I’m looking forward to read other beautiful works!

I hope life is treating you well, I wish you all the best🥰

Lots of love, Anon🌺

🥹🥹🥹 You don’t know how much this means to me, anon. I’ll be extremely honest, I haven’t written for any fandom for a long, long time. Seeing that my silly stories and thoughts still bring a bit of joy to this fandom warms my heart. I wrote it long ago, but I’ll keep this promise : I don’t plan to stop writing for any of Tolkien’s works. I’ll keep writing, or at least try to, haha. Thank you so much for your comment 🥰

[caliawen]

Happy new years, lovelies <3

[caliawen]

About me

I’m Canadian and bilingual!

My favourite colour is blue (as seen by the colour of my blog)

I’m in the Tolkien fandom, Avatar (James Cameron’s) & COD (modern warfare-2022)

I write for The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit & The Silmarillion

I write Character x Reader & Character x Character

I’m bisexual, so this blog is LGBTQ+ friendly

This blog is 18+ Minors, do not interact

I like writing, reading (mostly fantasy) and interacting

I shared my ao3 account with a good friend of mine, @1hannahhannah1, but she doesn’t write anymore and is now innactive on tumblr

This is a warning : terfs, racist, xenophobic, homophobic do not interact. If you want to comment either in my inbox or my comment sections hate messages, you will get blocked

I don’t update regularly, but worry not, I will make an announcement if I quit writing

[caliawen]

The First

Pairing = none (hints of Imin x Iminyë)

Genre = General audiences

General ratings = fluff & a twinge of angst

Content warnings = none

Word count = 832

Notes = amma means ‘mother’ in Primitive Elvish. Hope you enjoy! This is for day five of @tolkienfamilyweek, ‘found family’!

Nendarnē remembered.

She remembered waking up for the first time.

She was confused at first, of course. Before walking on two legs, she crawled on all fours. She looked at foxes, raccoons, rabbits and wolves to learn.

She remembered drinking and eating for the first time.

She remembered exploring, sleeping and running for the first time.

She remembered seeing her reflection for the first time and being fascinated by her features.

She remembered stumbling upon other elves and being terrified, as well as curious.

She remembered slowly starting to take care of them, taking them to safe places while they slept (they always slept. Nendarnē found it weird, because they weren’t gone like sometimes animals were. They’d fall asleep and never wake up again. But then again, their chest wouldn’t go up and down while they breathed. The Asleep Ones breathed. So Nendarnē found it weird.)

She remembered feeling cold for the first time and hating it.

She remembered hunting for the first time and eating the meat raw, much to her stomach’s displeasure and keeping the animal’s pelt because she felt guilty (surely her stomach making her suffer was proof that she should not have done that.)

She remembered going back to the lake she awoke next to, to stand in the water and look at the fishes and trees.

She remembered hunting again and always keeping the pelts of the animals out of guilt.

She remembered one day putting those pelts together rudimentarily with thick grass blades and other things, to create the first garment ever (she kept it even after it fell apart. She kept it for all of her life.)

She remembered putting animal pelts on The Asleep Ones so that they were not cold.

She remembered trying to communicate with animals by mimicking their noises.

She remembered crying for the first time when she injured her calf and being surprised that her eyes were producing water.

She remembered growing and developing, while The Asleep Ones stayed put, showing no sign of ever waking up.

She remembered yelping when some of The Asleep Ones woke up. She remembered them being confused and afraid, just like she had been.

She remembered calming them down and cooing at them, petting their hair and caressing their backs.

She remembered how she taught them everything she knew.

She remembered how they developed a language to understand each other better, thus creating Primitive Elvish.

She remembered naming them; Imin, Iminyë, Tata, Tatië, Enel and Elenyë.

She remembered treating them like her cubs.

She remembered being astonished that they were so.. small (at the time she didn’t know it was just her that was abnormally tall, but, well.)

She remembered how later on, they gave her a name, even though they referred to her as amma.

And so, Nendarnē Indarā was named. Her cubs- children, named her after the time she spent close to the tree by the water she awoke next to. Indarā, The Wise, they called her, even if she didn’t particularly think she deserved such a title. Sure, she had taught them how to survive and live, but she didn’t consider herself wise.

She remembered how more and more of The Asleep Ones woke up, until not one of them was sleeping anymore.

She remembered the first mating season, where couples formed and fëas entwined for the first time.

She remembered politely refusing every mating offer she received, for she had everything she needed : her children.

She remembered Iminyë’s stomach getting rounder.

She remembered Iminyë coming to her, tears in her eyes, asking her amma what was going on.

She remembered shushing her heart-daughter, telling her that she was with child, that that was what happened sometimes when a male and a female mated. That she would have her own cubs, her own children soon.

She remembered the gruesome birth of the first elven child, the pain Iminyë was in as everyone did everything they could to make her comfortable.

She remembered holding her grandson for the first time, Ilion, and crying from joy, pressing a kiss to Iminyë’s forehead.

She remembered meeting Míriel and Finwë and practically adopting them as her own, taking care of them.

She remembered more children coming; Elwë, Olwë and Elmo, principally.

She remembered the apparition of Oromë.

She remembered everything he taught.

She remembered the fear that struck her when some of her own began to disappear and never come back.

She remembered hugging her heart-children close when the Dark Rider came closer and closer to where they lived.

She remembered that she thought she was dying with how her heart ached when some of her children left.

She remembered kissing them goodbye as they followed Oromë.

She remembered the heartache that would not leave her alone as one by one, her children- her cubs, left her.

She remembered being obligated to leave her tree, the water she grew by, her home, because The All Father was angry.

Nendarnē remembered, for she was The First.

End notes : Hope you enjoyed! Reblogs and comments are as always really appreciated!

[caliawen]

Jealousy

Pairing = none (hints of Finrod x Mairafinwë (OC)

Genre = General audiences

General ratings = angst & fluff

Content warnings = insecurities

Word count = 1,2k

Notes = Day 3 of @tolkienfamilyweek ! The prompt was ‘extended family’. Hope you enjoy!

When Artanis was born, people were awed at her resemblance to her grandmother, Indis. The same blond wavy hair, the same pale skin, the same blue eyes and heart shaped mouth. She was a beauty to behold and she knew it - was proud of it, even. But as she grew older, her ears started to bleed from comments made.

Mairafinwë was older. More mature. She looked like a carbon copy of Míriel Therindë, with Finwë’s eyes. The people who disliked (even hated, sometimes) Indis loved her. She was the reminder of the First Queen of the Noldor, and for some, the only one. Pale gray eyes, straight silver hair, a lovely smile blessing her face, Mairafinwë was considered the exemple. The one who elleth wished to be.

Artanis hated her. Hated how people compared her to her older cousin, how no matter what she did, some people prefered Mairafinwë over her. She was in a competition with someone who always won and she hated losing.

For a time, she found comfort in Írissë. They bonded over the feeling of not being enough in society’s eyes compared to their elder cousin. No matter what they did, people somehow thought Mairafinwë would have been better. She was older. Wittier. Prettier. At least, that was what people whispered.

But then, Artanis found herself alone again. Because when the first place of the competition is already taken, people look to the second one. And so, people began comparing her to Írissë. Artanis was witier, but Írissë funnier. Artanis was studious, but Írissë more carefree. Artanis stopped talking to Írissë. She hung out with her brothers or small group of friends, quietly drowning in her jealousy when Mairafinwë walked in the room and all eyes would turn towards her.

She was mortified when her father heard her complaining to one of her friends that people loved Mairafinwë more than her. He consoled her. Told her that yes, Mairafinwë was pretty, but that did not mean that she was lacking. It was simply because Mairafinwë went more outside to help her people, that she was the daughter of Fëanáro that she was more popular.

Artanis couldn’t help but wonder if people would have liked her more if she was her uncle’s daughter. Maybe then people would have talked about her in time with Mairafinwë. About how the two sisters were pretty equally, and witty too. She cried a bit that night, hating how emotional she was being.

~~~

Artanis and Írissë rekindled later on. It was awkward at first, the both of them unwilling to admit that they had let random ellon and elleth break their friendship apart. Instead of seeing Írissë as competition, Artanis saw her lovely cousin. The one who was beautiful, yes, but untamed and unapologetic. The one she became friends with years ago.

When Írissë came to her, looking like she had done something wrong, Artanis was intrigued. Her cousin was not often apologetic. Artanis understood why very quickly.

“I’m telling you, she is quite lovely.. she… I don’t know, she’s kind and collected and she enjoys joking around! I-.. we’re friends..” said Írissë about Mairafinwë, wringing her hands as she had trouble putting her thoughts into words.

“Friends? With her?” Artanis replied, betrayal crossing her face. Mairafinwë had always seemed mean to her, as she never did anything to stop people from comparing her to her cousins.

“Artanis… she.. she is-.. I met her some time ago and she was really kind, you know? I mean, I was really mean towards her, because I didn’t like her, but she was still calm and generous with her compliments! She said-“ Írissë choked on her emotions, her eyes becoming flooded with tears. “She said I was one of the most beautiful elleth she had ever seen. That- that my personality was refreshing.”

Írissë’s eyes begged Artanis to understand.

Artanis tried. She really did.

But she couldn’t.

~~~

Artanis spent her days in her home, sadness clinging to her like a leech. Her family did everything they could to cheer her up, in vain. She missed Írissë and yet, she could not go past the feeling of betrayal. She did not know what to do anymore. On top of that, Finrod was spending less and less time with her, preferring to go somewhere else, with someone else. He did not even tell her who it was that was stealing her brother away.

~~~

Artanis swore her heart broke when she saw that Finrod was walking hand-in-hand with Mairafinwë. He beamed at her as she laughed, her laugh sounding prettier than a bird’s song. First her best friend, now her oldest brother? Why did everyone prefer Mairafinwë over her? Why was she not enough? What did her cousin have that she didn’t?

Sadness was an emotion that Artanis was uncomfortable with. She didn’t like feeling her sadness. And so, sadness transformed into anger. Anger at Mairafinwë, for stealing everyone she loved away. Anger at Írissë and Findaráto for letting her. Anger at herself for not seeing it sooner.

Later on, when Findaráto left Mairafinwë to go back home, Artanis came out of her hiding spot to march towards her cousin. Mairafinwë looked at her surprised, but strangely, still smiled at her. Artanis was fuming.

“Who do you think you are?” Artanis started, emotions making her forget the speech she had prepared some time ago.

“Excuse me? I’m not sure I follow you-“

“Why do you want to make me miserable? Why are you trying to steal everyone I have, huh? I really don’t understand why people like you, you-you’re…!” Artanis said, stopping herself from insulting Mairafinwë as she noticed the compassionate look on her cousin’s face.

“Artanis.” Mairafinwë started, and something in her gentle voice made the blond calm down slightly.

“I am not trying to make you miserable. I am not trying to ‘steal’ anyone from you, and I am deeply sorry if I came across that way. I’ve heard from Írissë that people compare me to you often.” Artanis winced at the last sentence, a bit embarrassed but not really knowing why.

“That is unacceptable. You know, I was just like you once. I know how you feel.” She said, making Artanis frown. Mairafinwë smiled slightly at her cousin, taking her hand in hers.

“I see that you don’t believe me. Let me explain. I sculpt, just like my mother. In my debuts, people would often compare my work to my mother’s, saying that hers was better. Objectively, I knew they were right, but it still hurt. No matter how much I improved, my mother’s works were always better, prettier, more well done. And I began to resent my ammë for that. I felt guilty, though, for it was not her fault. She came to me one evening, tears in her eyes. Asked me why I never talked to her anymore. And I felt ashamed of myself. I explained everything that weighed on my heart, and she understood. From then on, anyone that compared my work to hers was banned from ever coming back to see our work.” Mairafinwë said, sometimes squeezing Artanis’ hand.

“I know it’s not exactly the same situation, but I think it’s the same moral. You shouldn’t let others’ mean comments bring you down, but if they still do, communicate. I’ve made it clear that it was abhorrent to compare me to you in such ways. I do not know you well, Artanis, but that doesn’t mean I wish for you to suffer.”

Artanis choked back a sob, willing the tears in her eyes to go back where they had come from. It was… reassuring in a way, to hear that Mairafinwë understood. She smiled at her older cousin, squeezing her hand.

It was the start of a friendship.

End notes : Reblogs and likes are always immensely appreciated!

[caliawen]

Pranks

Pairing = none

Genre = general audiences

General ratings = family fluff

Content warnings = none

Word count = 805

Notes = Hope you enjoy! The prompt was ‘siblings’ from @tolkienfamilyweek day 2!

“What are you both doing?” Mairafinwë’s voice sounded out, her eyebrows raised in surprise.

Amrod and Amras froze as they looked at her like they had been caught doing something they shouldn’t, before looking at each other.

“Nothing.” Amras said, giving his older sister a suspicious-looking smile, while Amrod nodded somnely. Mairafinwë raised an eyebrow, unconvinced, before she looked at what the twins were trying to hide with their hands.

A bucket full of burdock seeds was there, making Mairafinwë frown.

“And what do you plan on doing with those?” She asked, crossing her arms as suspicion came over her.

Amrod and Amras looked at each other, communicating silently with each other thanks to micro-expressions made with the twitching of their ears, the tightening of their lips and the movement of their eyebrows. After a little while, they both looked back at Mairafinwë.

“We’ll tell you if you promise to help us.”

Mairafinwë’s eyebrows raised and she pursued her lips, searching the eyes of her baby brothers intently. After a while, curiosity won her over and she reluctantly nodded. Ambarussa both grinned at her, hushedly asking her to come closer. She kneeled carefully on the ground, leaning closer to the both of them.

“You see, Tyelko put a bunch of squirrels in our room a few weeks ago.” Amras started.

“They ate some of our clothes and shit everywhere.” Amrod said, brow furrowing as he recalled the state of their room after that particular incident.

“Tyelko found that extremely funny. We thought we might make him pay us back.” Amras finished, grinning excitedly at the thought of getting ‘revenge’ on their older brother.

Mairafinwë hummed, remembering the incident clearly, where she had had to play peacemaker, holding the twins back from jumping on a laughing Celegorm. She also remembered the anger that had taken over her the day Celegorm put a bunch of racoons in her bedchambers and they had wreaked havoc upon it. Mairafinwë knew the feeling of being held back by an older sibling (an exasperated Maedhros, who was tired of Celegorm’s antics and a slightly amused Maglor).

Even if Tyelkormo was punished by their father and mother each time, he never ceased to play pranks on them, Caranthir and sometimes Curufin (one look from Maedhros served to dissuade Celegorm from doing any kind of mischief to him and Maglor… well, Maglor had multiple tricks up his sleeve).

Mairafinwë looked at her baby brothers and smiled.

“Alright you two. I’ll help you. What’s the plan?” She asked, grinning, feeling a bit giddy.

~~~

A few moments later, they were in Celegorm’s room, carefully picking burdocks and placing them on his clothes, bedsheets, pillows, blankets and carpet, giggling like children all the while.

“… what are you all doing?” Caranthir’s voice sounded out from the entrance of Celegrom’s bedchambers, making Mairafinwë, Amrod and Amras freeze.

They turned towards Caranthir, Mairafinwë smiling sheepishly.

“… a trick?” She said, shrugging, making her younger brother raise his eyebrows, surprised at seeing her play into the twins’ mischief.

Caranthir looked at the three of them, then at the burdocks, before he seemed to recall every prank that Celegorm played on him, before slowly smiling. He left the room, a big smile on his face, as Mairafinwë, Amrod and Amras all giggled quietly, finishing up placing the burdocks before quietly leaving.

~~~

An hour later, as the three of them hung out in the library, they saw Caranthir pass by with a large chest. Amrod and Amras looked at each other, smelling mischief, before they called out.

“Carnistir? What are you doing?” Ambarussa asked, making their older brother turn to look at them. He smiled even as his cheeks were redder than usual due to exertion, his eyes twinkling.

“A ‘special’ delivery.” He responded, making his sister and youngest brothers look at each other before smiling.

“Can we help you?” Mairafinwë asked, getting up and dusting herself off.

“Of course. It would be greatly appreciated.” Caranthir said, grinning.

All three of them helped Carnistir transport the heavy chest to Celegorm’s bedchambers, chuckling quietly. Amrod and Amras let out gasps of delight when they opened the chest, a good hundred of frogs jumping out to hide in Tyelkormo’s room. Mairafinwë chuckled as they left, closing the door behind them.

~~~

When at dinner time everyone was seated at the table except for Celegorm (he was almost always late when he went out to hunt with Oromë), the conversation was interrupted by a loud shriek coming from the blond brother. Fëanor and Nerdanel looked taken aback, Curufin frowned in curiosity while Maedhros rolled his eyes and Maglor tilted his head.

Mairafinwë snorted as Amrod and Amras couldn’t help but laugh, Caranthir smiling deviously as he savored his revenge.

Shrieks and screams could be heard throughout the mansion, as well as laughs and exasperated sighs.

End notes : reblogs and comments are always immensely appreciated!

[caliawen]

Morning Surprise

Pairing = Finrod x Mairafinwë (OC)

Genre = General audiences

General ratings = fluff

Content warnings = none

Word count = 588

Notes = This is day 1 of Tolkien Family Week! The prompt was Parent & Child relationship.

The sun rose slowly, morning still not upon Valinor. Birds chirped and sang beautifully, a gentle breeze caressed tall grass and flowers while wild animals moved about, looking for water or food. In a majestic and cozy home, small giggles could be heard, as well as hushed whispers. Finrod slept soundly with his wife, Mairafinwë, in their bed as their children snuck around.

After a while of shenanigans on his sons’ parts, Finrod woke up groggily, his eyes widening a bit in surprise as he saw Laurëndo’s chubby face just on top of his own. His son giggled as Finrod chuckled, sitting up so he could take his son in his arms.

“What was that for, hm?” Finrod whispered so as to not wake Mairafinwë up.

“A surprise!” Laurëndo whispered back, his smile wide, showing slightly crooked teeth and dimples.

Finrod smiled back, his heart lifting from seeing his son so happy. He let out an ‘oof!’ as he was ‘tackled’ by Laurëasámo, falling slightly back onto his pillow from the force of the impact. Laurëndo giggled and snickered, sharing a conspiring gaze with his brother.

“Well good morning to you too.” Finrod said, amused, as Laurëasámo kissed his cheek in greeting.

“Your face was all weird!” Laurëndo giggled, leaning against his father.

Finrod chuckled, pressing a kiss to Laurëasámo’s forehead, playfully nibbling at his cheek.

“You better not do anything like that again, or the big bad monster will pay a visit!” Finrod said in an exaggerated deep voice, tickling his sons, much to their delights. They laughed and giggled, their limbs flailing as they pleaded for mercy.

“Good morning, my loves.” Mairafinwë said, startling her husband and her sons. Laurëndo took advantage of his father’s inattention to go hug his mother, smiling as she caressed his hair. Laurëasámo soon joined him, making Mairafinwë chuckled as she greeted them with kisses to their cheeks.

“Good morning, vanimelda.” Finrod said, pressing a kiss to his wife’s lips, smiling in the kiss as their sons scrunched their noses and let out loud sounds of disgust at the display of affection.

Suddenly, Mairafinwë let go of Finrod to take Laurëafëa in her arms, effectively blocking his attempted tackle. Laurëndo and Laurëasámo let out sounds of defeat as they -yet again- failed to take their mother by surprise. Finrod chuckled at his sons’ disappointment, Mairafinwë pressing a kiss to the crown of Laurëafëa’s head.

The triplets pouted and complained, still snuggling up in their parents’ embrace.

“It’s not fair! Why can’t ammë be taken by surprise!” Laurëndo said, making Mairafinwë laugh and Finrod chuckle.

“Because your ammë lived for a very long time with your uncles and they did the same thing to her very often.” Finrod explained, a smile on his pretty face.

His sons nodded at him in understanding, their golden curls bouncing slightly from the movements. Mairafinwë stretched, before pressing a kiss to Finrod’s cheek, getting up.

“Ammë is going to prepare breakfast alright?” She said, making her sons cheer.

She got up from the bed, ruffling Laurëasámo’s hair before she got out of the bedchamber, making him complain and tut.

Finrod smiled as his sons started theorizing about what would be for breakfast, the Sun’s rays warming his skin and making the triplets’ hair shine. He felt his heart swell with love for his little ones as well as his darling, a smile creeping up on him.

Animals skittered away from the home as loud giggles and laughter could be heard, shrieks of joy brightening the morning.

End notes : Hope you enjoyed! I had fun writing <3

@theelvenhaven @tolkienfamilyweek

[caliawen]

Haunted

Pairing = Glorfindel x Reader

Genre = Teen and up

General ratings = a twinge of angst, fluff, smut implied (?)

Content warnings = smut implied

Word count = 1,4k

Notes = ……hi 🫣 I haven’t posted in a month 🙃 Life has been really busy and I haven’t really had the time (nor the motivation, truthfully) to write. I had a more regular schedule before, but I think for now it will stay… ‘irregular’. I have no idea when or what I will post next. Hope you can understand!

Glorfindel was being haunted. Not by ghosts- no. By the memories of his past life. Of his mistakes. Of his friends. Of their deaths. Of his death. The searing pain of his scalp as he was tugged down and down and down by the Balrog. Of the heat he felt as he fought for his life, for the lives of Idril and Tuor and Eärendil and everyone. His mind replayed those moments over and over, never leaving him a second of peace.

The slight smile of Ecthelion, Rog’s boisterous laugh, Turgon’s exasperation with them, Elgalmoth’s mischievous eyes as he gossiped, Penlod’s hums as he pretended he was listening, Galdor’s excited chatter about the trees and plants he saw, Duilin’s whistles as he walked, Tuor’s love-struck expression as his eyes followed Idril and Maeglin’s shy smile when someone asked him about his work…

Oh, Maeglin… Glorfindel had hated him, for a time. Hated him for giving Gondolin away to Morgoth, giving away their lives.. But that time had passed. In the halls of Námo, Glorfindel had had plenty of time to think before he was reborn. And think he did : about how Maeglin had lost his mother and father. About how his only parental figure was Turgon, who was too busy to really spend time with his nephew. About how he mistook his love for Idril as romantic and not platonic, and how that strained his friendship with her and Tuor. About how rumors spread that Maeglin was a vile being. About how none of them did anything to defend him. About how lonely Maeglin must have been.. About what impossible horrors he felt at the hands of Morgoth and Sauron. About how they never saw how broken Maeglin had returned. About how he didn’t care if he died anymore.

Yes, Glorfindel had thought, Maeglin had done something wrong. And he forgave Maeglin for what he had done, because Maeglin had been a child. A child who needed to be guided and shown love, but no one had stepped up to take up the role.

He thought about you. About your smile, your eyes, your nose. About the way you moved, how you talked and your passions. And he ached. Because he didn’t know what happened to you. He didn’t know if you had died, if you had suffered or if you were still alive. If you had moved on from him.. And that haunted him. His every waking thought, his every dream and nightmare.

Sometimes, Glorfindel dreamed of you. He dreamed that you were laying in his bed, in Gondolin, smiling at him. That you carded your fingers through his hair and told him that you loved him. And when he woke up, his heart ached and he did not know whether to thank or curse Irmo.

Glorfindel had a mission. He was going back to Arda Marred. And he found himself dreading going back. Dreading seeing how everything had changed and how the language had evolved. Dreading how no one he knew would be there. How he would be alone. At least in Valinor, he saw his mother and father. He found himself crying when he realized he did not remember what being embraced by his parents felt like. They took care of him and he couldn’t be more grateful to have them.

When Glorfindel departed, he stood looking at Valinor until it had been long since out of view. He stood still, wondering if he was dreaming. He thought, how ironic, for he was going back. Not anyone else. Him. Laurëfindelë Glorfindel, an emissary of the Valar, granted powers nearly as strong as that of the Maiar. And he didn’t want to go back. Nienna wept for him, for his sacrifice, for his fear and for his love. He found himself appreciating her understanding. She visited him, before he departed. He listened to her words, without understanding : “Dear Child, your heart is being haunted. Your mind is playing tricks on you, and your heart is rendered blind by your pain. But your gut, your gut is still there and strong. Follow it, follow what it tells you. But do not silence your heart and mind for it, listen to them. Listen, but do not follow.”

~~~

When Glorfindel arrived in Middle Earth, he did not know where to begin. He was tired, but could not sleep. He thought about you. About your lips on his, about your laugh, about your hands in his, about the ring he had passed on your finger. He thought and thought and thought. And his heart ached. He walked on paths and in forests, stopping to wash himself in rivers. And he despaired.

It was later that he found Lindon. Days later. Or weeks, he did not know. He met Elrond, someone who would confuse and amuse him for the rest of their lives. Part man, part elf, part maia. He wore the insignias of Fingolfin and Fëanor with pride, daring anyone to confront him about it. He was a gentle soul with a heart of gold and the patience of the wise. He was as kind as summer and Glorfindel found himself basking in his presence, like a flower who had grown up in shadow feeling the sun on itself for the first time.

Círdan was surprisingly mischievous. Subtle jokes, sarcasm and deadpan looks were all things he threw at others, uncaring if they understood or not. He was calm, but could easily terrorize anyone with his anger, like the sea. Board games were his favorite and Glorfindel spent time playing with him, thinking of strategies to beat the older elf.

Gil-Galad was as confusing as he was funny. His father was unknown and he liked to joke around about it. Glorfindel spent time with him when they could, talking about everything and nothing. When Gil-Galad felt Glorfindel starting to lose himself in memories, he would randomly tell a stupid joke. They made Glorfindel laugh each time.

Celebrimbor had been a bit weary at first. Glorfindel almost laughed at the memory of a small Curufinwë Tyelpërinquar staring at him with the exact same look. It wasn’t long until they became great friends. Celebrimbor understood : he, too, was haunted by his past actions and words. Maybe for different reasons than Glorfindel, but the important thing was that he related to how Glorfindel felt. Having his feelings validated was something that alleviated the pain in Glorfindel’s heart.

~~~

Glorfindel walked around Lindon aimlessly and leisurely, taking his time to look around. You haunted him. Everything he saw reminded him of you. From pretty rocks you would have collected, passing by a stand selling your favorite fruit, to someone wearing clothes the exact color of your eyes. His mind played tricks on him, making him imagine hearing your laugh or seeing your beautiful hair swaying in the wind.

He stopped walking at a bookstore, a feeling bubbling up inside him. He looked at the door, curious. His gut screamed at him to enter that store, for some reason. His mind dismissed the feeling, but his heart held hope. They warred against each other. And then, Glorfindel was reminded of Nienna’s words to him. And he went inside the store.

Inside the store, which was cozy and homey, he felt pulled towards a particular bookshelf. His breath hitched as his mind reeled to a stop, his heart pumping wildly. There you stood, browsing the shelf while smiling. Feeling observed, you turned your head, your eyes widening as you saw Glorfindel, your husband, your soulmate, standing there. Glorfindel was frozen, his mind scrambling and heart singing with joy. You were the one to make the first move, throwing yourself in his arms, ecstatic. Glorfindel hugged you back, a sense of wholeness overtaking his mind and body as he kissed you long and passionately.

The two of you spent hours upon hours talking, laughing, crying and hugging. This long-awaited reunion was a balm on Glorfindel’s bruised and battered heart. That night, under the stars, in a magnificent glade full of flowers, you rekindled your fëas. Glorfindel made love to you slowly and passionately, kissing every piece of skin revealed as he undressed you, worshiping your body with his hands and mouth. That night, in your arms, Glorfindel had no nightmares. He woke up to your sweet voice and felt free. Free of the thing that haunted him. And he smiled.

End notes : Hope you enjoyed! Reblogs, comments & likes are extremely appreciated 🫶

@theladyvanya

[caliawen]

Childhood Crush

Pairing = Finrod x Mairafinwë (OC)

Genre = General audiences

General ratings = pure fluff <3

Content warnings = none

Word count = 1,9k

Notes = Hi, yes, hello 🫣 It has been a while, hasn’t it? Anyway, I found my inspiration back and I’ve finished this piece in time for day 5 of @tolkienocweek ! The prompt was ‘shipping’ so it was in theme and I thought ‘why not?’ Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Finrod never lacked love. He was loved, and he loved back. He loved his father, his mother, his brothers, his sister, his grandfather, his uncle (uncles, sometimes, but he didn’t see Fëanáro much. He was still cool, in Finrod’s eyes. He always received little gifts from his uncle when he visited. It was a little secret between them, because for some reason, Fëanáro didn’t want Arafinwë to know. Finrod thought it funny, because Arafinwë was aware, but pretended he didn’t.) loved him back.

However, as he turned around five (in men years), he noticed something. His father kissed his mother and looked at her with Starry Eyes. His uncles all looked at his aunts like that too, Uncle Fëanáro with Aunt Nerdanel and Uncle Ñolofinwë with Aunt Anairë. He saw teenagers do that, too. And he didn’t understand. Why did they do that? It was so weird!

So he asked his mother and she replied something that didn’t make sense at the time. She said : “People kiss each other and look at each other with ‘Starry Eyes’ because they love each other, dear.” Finrod looked at her dubiously. What did she mean, ‘It’s because they love each other’! Finrod loved his brothers, but that didn’t mean he looked at them with Starry Eyes and kissed them on the mouth!

It was when he turned ten (in men years), that he understood what his mother had meant. He was with his family at a banquet organized by his grandfather Finwë. For once, miraculously everyone was getting along, and then, he saw her. Seated between a teenager Makalaurë and a small Turcafinwë, sat the most beautiful girl Finrod had ever seen. She had long silver hair, just like Lady Míriel (Finwë kept her portrait in his study) and gray eyes like Fëanáro. To be honest, she was the perfect replica of Lady Míriel, but with Finwë’s eyes.

Finrod felt his face get hot, before he averted his eyes. But then, he found his eyes drawn back to her. He couldn’t help but admire her beauty. Finrod didn’t understand at the time why he felt so drawn to her. She was just a normal girl! But that was where he was wrong, because she was the only daughter of Fëanáro. And it was well known that his children are everything but ‘normal’.

He stole glances at her, greedily looking at her eyes and hair and cheeks and smile and- everything. He looked at her everything and felt weird inside.His heart thumped loudly and his stomach felt like it was dancing. He wondered why he was feeling this way.. It was then that they made eye contact. Gray eyes meeting blue ones, holding each other, drowning in each other.

Later on, when Finrod grew restless of sitting and listening to the adults talk about boring things, he got up and went to the gardens. The cool night air was like a balm to his still hot cheeks. He looked towards Telperion, sighing as he felt tiredness come over him. Normally, he’d be in bed by now. It wasn’t that he wasn’t happy he could stay up late, but he really wished they were back home. He missed the feeling of the ocean breeze on his skin and the salty air. At the same time, he felt overjoyed at seeing his grandfather and Tirion again. The city was wonderful and a delight to his eyes. Art was everywhere and people were kind.

He was startled out of his thoughts by the most beautiful voice he had ever heard (after Kanafinwë’s, of course, but not that he’d ever admit it).

“Hello!”

Finrod whirled around, cheeks heating up as he saw her.

“H-Hi!” He replied, his eyes widening as she smiled at him.

“You’re my cousin Findaráto, right?” She asked, her eyes twinkling in the silvery light of Telperion.

“Uh, yes!” Finrod stuttered out, feeling nervous for.. some reason. She smiled at him, extending her hand.

“I’m Mairafinwë. Pleasure to meet you!” She said and he shook her hand. Mairafinwë… The name was exactly like her : beautiful, graceful, a joy to look at..

~~~

Since that night, Finrod found himself visiting Mairafinwë often : he had gained a friend. She was funny, witty, calm and talented. Their beautiful friendship blossomed and they became closer.

“Don’t move!” Mairafinwë tsked, frowning a bit at Finrod. He sighed, going back into his original position.

It had been two years since they had met and Mairafinwë had invited Finrod over at her father’s house. After talking for a few hours, she had proposed to sculpt him. Finrod, overjoyed, had agreed. Mairafinwë was good with her hands, he had seen the sculptures she made. Of course they were pretty, she learned from the best : her mother, Nerdanel. What he didn’t expect was that it would take so long to sculpt him.

He squirmed in his seat again, admiring Mairafinwë as she worked. The light that came in by the tall windows caressed her skin, making her look softer than normal. Her long silver hair was thrown up into a bun as she worked diligently, frowning in concentration. She kind of looked like Fëanáro when she was working : the same frown, the same twitch of the lips, the same analyzing eyes.

“Can we take a break?” Finrod said, sighing. Mairafinwë looked up and Finrod’s heart skipped a beat or two, his cheeks darkening. She sighed, putting down her tools.

“Alright, alright. We’ll take a break.” She said, smiling. She was as beautiful as always and Finrod found himself unable to look away from her.

When she took his hand and giggled as she dragged him outside, he thought he understood what his mother had meant all those years ago.

~~~

Finrod knew that Mairafinwë was older than him, of course. It wasn’t by that much, but it frustrated him to no end when people whispered that he looked like a lost puppy following her around. He was fifteen (in men years)! It wasn’t fair that people thought he wasn’t deserving of her!

Finrod had recognized that he liked Mairafinwë, maybe even loved her. He hadn’t done anything about it, yet. He was determined to court and woo her properly, but he didn’t have the right ideas at the time.

He almost had a heart attack when Nelyafinwë and Kanafinwë approached him with matching grins. They were usually the ones who were the most respectful and didn’t throw pranks, so to see them approaching him like that, he knew that something was going to happen.

Finrod wanted the ground to open up and swallow him when they told him that they knew he liked their sister. However, he perked right up and all his embarrassment was forgotten when they gave him a list of things Mairafinwë found romantic and liked to do that they had roped Turcafinwë into getting for them. He thanked them profusely, before having the scare of his life when their expressions turned grim.

“We support you courting our sister, Findaráto, but listen to my words and listen well.” Maedhros started.

“If we find out you broke her heart, for whatever reason it is, you will pay.” He said, a frown etched on his handsome face.

“Are we clear?” Maglor’s ethereal voice sounded stern.

“Yeah, of course!” Finrod said, a bit fearful. He almost had whiplash from how fast their demeanours changed as their expressions turned happy once more. Maedhros clapped him on the shoulder, smirking.

“Good luck.” He said before they left him with his thoughts.

~~~

Finrod had successfully started to court Mairafinwë. Dates had been arranged and he was happy, and so was she. The threshold of hand-holding had been passed and they spent more and more time together, almost attached at the hip.

Everything was going well. Too well.

That’s why Finrod wasn’t all that surprised when one day, returning from a date with Mairafinwë, his uncle Fëanáro approached him, saying he wanted to speak to him.

Seated in his uncle’s office, Finrod felt a bit fearful. He knew that his uncle was extremely protective of his children, everyone knew that. Fëanor looked at him pensively, saying nothing and making Finrod squirm under his intense gaze.

“Findaráto..” Fëanor started, making Finrod gulp as he tried to calm his heartbeat, his nervousness making his palm sweaty.

“Yes?” Finrod said, cursing in his head as his voice came out weak. His uncle gently smiled at him, making him calm down a little.

“Mairafinwë has told me that you have been courting for some time now.” Fëanor said, making Finrod nod in acquiescence.

“She loves you. Very much. It is.. clear that she has fallen head over heels for you. I want you to know, first and foremost, that I support this courting.” Fëanor said, tilting his head. Hearing those words made Finrod significantly calm down, his tense posture relaxing.

“Mairafinwë is someone who loves with all of her being. She is.. she is extremely like my mother in this way.” Fëanor whispered this part, his gaze turning longing for a second.

“I want to know if you love her. As in, you won’t want to leave her side in a century or two. You two are young, and there is plenty of time to grow and mature. These feelings you have for each other may change and that is alright. But I want to know now if you think it might happen.” His uncle said, making Finrod shake his head rapidly.

“No. I.. I love her. With all of my fëa. I think.. no, I know she is the one.” Finrod said, making his uncle’s lips twitch upwards. Fëanor hummed.

“In that case, I want you to know that I entrust my daughter’s heart to you. Be careful : it is delicate and bruises easily.” Finrod nodded seriously, relief washing over him as his uncle gave him his blessing to court Mairafinwë.

“However, I want you to know that if I find out you have not been treating her with the respect or adoration she deserves, or that you have made her sad, there will be consequences.” Fëanor said, a small smile on his lips to soften his words. Finrod nodded again.

That day, he left Fëanor’s mansion happy, for he had gotten his blessing.

~~~

It was a month later that Finrod kissed Mairafinwë for the first time. It was magical : something that made him feel whole in a sense and that made him giddy to think about. They laid underneath a tree on the grass, their fingers intertwined.

“I love you, Mairafinwë. I love you a lot. I… I wanted to know if you.. If you’d like to..” Finrod hadn’t thought about how he would ask her to become a couple. Well, he had, but this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. The words were all wrong in his mouth and his mind worked faster than ever to find the right words.

Mairafinwë gently put her hand on his cheek, her plump lips turning up into a smile.

“Take your time, Findaráto. I’m not going anywhere.” She softly said with that magnificent voice of hers.

“I-… would you like to.. to become a couple?” Finrod asked, almost wincing at his clumsy words. In his mind, he had imagined asking her poetically with a grand romantic gesture. Still, Mairafinwë smiled gently at him, her pretty eyes twinkling with happiness.

“I would love to.” She responded, making Finrod nearly bowl over with relief. He smiled at her and she smiled back. And he understood. He understood what his mother had meant.

When she kissed him, he felt his stomach dance and his cheeks become hot and thought : ‘How I love her..’

End notes : I hope you enjoyed! I have one story and some headcannons in the work, so I should post more often! <3

@theladyvanya @koyunsoncizeri

[caliawen]

Update!

Hello! This is just a little update. I just wanted you guys to know that my computer broke, so I don’t know when I’ll post more. I’m writing this on my Ipad, which is honestly not the best, but whatever. I asked my brother to help me fix my computer, because I’m sincerely clueless when it comes to these things sooo. He did some tests and apparently, I just need to change the screen, so that’s a good news. I’m not that surprised that my computer broke, because it’s really old. Anyway, I’ll try to touch up some things I had in my drafts and post them, but I can’t promise anything. Thank you all for being patient with me <3

@Caliawen

[caliawen]

Update!

Hello guys! It’s been a little while since I’ve posted… anything, really 😅. I have just been stuck with a reaaally bad case of writer’s block, I have zero inspiration. I want to write, I really do, but each time I sit myself down, I just zone out and end up writing nothing. Please be patient with me ❤️. However, I do have an idea. You can send me requests/ideas for headcannons or fics, if you want! It might help me get out of my writer’s block AND you get to read what you want! However, please, please stay respectful to me, even if I do not do your request. Some things I am not comfortable with writing and I’d really appreciate it if you can respect my boundaries. Love you all <3

@noldorinpainter

@Caliawen

[caliawen]

Hello loves <3 Quick question : would you all be interested if I posted stories with my OC Mairafinwë??

Yeah, sure!

Ehh, no, sorry

Voting ended onJun 28, 2023

@theladyvanya

[caliawen]

Oh my god 😭 I really didn’t expect you guys to be interested in my OC! I’m working on the start of her story, so you’ll probably see it soon <3 Thank you lovelies <3

[caliawen]

Hello loves <3 Quick question : would you all be interested if I posted stories with my OC Mairafinwë??

Yeah, sure!

Ehh, no, sorry

Voting ended onJun 28, 2023

@theladyvanya

[caliawen]

Overwhelming Love

Pairing = Fëanor x reader

Genre = General audiences

General ratings = fluff & angst

Content warnings = none

Reader’s gender = afab!reader, but no explicit gender (only pronoun used to describe reader is ‘you/your’)

Word count = 2,9k

Notes = second fic!! 🥳🥳🥳 I hope you enjoy it! Here are some words you should know before you read = málonya means ‘my friend’, lomba means blind, melinya means ‘my dear’, lissëhón means sweetheart, vanimelda is the highest word of praise for beauty (beautiful and beloved, elven-fair), ammë means mother and finally, yonya means ‘my son’

Fëanor had always felt insecure with the love people gave him. Since his mother died and his father remarried to have other children, he felt as if he wasn’t enough. Why would his father want other children if that wasn’t the case? And so, he outdid himself in everything he did to have his father’s attention. That was how he found his passion for writing and smithing.

One day, in the palace’s library, he felt for the first time that type of love he read so much about. You were browsing the shelves, Laurelin’s rays were caressing your skin gently, making you seem ethereal. For the first time in all of his life, Fëanor was speechless. Your beauty seemed to exceed that of Varda Elentári. Seeming to feel his eyes on you, you turned and looked in his gaze directly, before he abruptly tore his eyes away and faked reading. His cheeks were hot. You caught him looking at you like a creep! Of course you didn’t know that he was admiring your beauty, you didn’t know him!

Fëanor was torn out of his thoughts as he heard books being delicately put down on the table in front of him and a chair scraping against the floor. He snapped his head up and his eyes grew comically large as he saw you smiling at him. You spent a good hour reading with him, before leaving with a small ‘goodbye’. He couldn’t believe it. You had sat with him! Even if you hadn’t talked, you had supported his presence enough to stay seated with him for an hour.

The next few days passed in the same manner. Fëanor seated himself at his usual table and you arrived later, picking a few books before seating yourself in front of him. You gave him a shy smile and then you read in silence until you left after murmuring goodbye. Fëanor became used to this routine, so he was shocked when one day, in the middle of reading, you cleared your throat. He looked up at you and saw you shyly looking into his eyes.

“My name is (Y/N)”

He looked at you dumbly, before he realized he was supposed to introduce himself.

“I’m Fëanáro.” He said, awkwardly. He mentally beat himself, for that was his first impression of him to you. Awkward and not knowing how to converse. Normally, he didn’t have any difficulty talking, but you seemed to make his brain melt so that the only thought left was you.

“It’s nice to meet you, Fëanáro.”

You went back to your book, smiling gently and blushing. He was perplexed. After his mediocre introduction, you still didn’t mind his presence? You must be the incarnation of patience..

“What are you reading, if you don’t mind me asking?” He said, after searching for a long time for something intelligent to start a conversation with.

You looked up from your book, surprised, but also seemingly happy.

“Well, you see…”

That was the day Fëanor made his first friend. You were kind and patient, even with him. You listened as he rambled on and on about one of his discoveries or a topic he was passionate about. It seemed with each day, your beauty became more and more all-consuming. From the tip of your ears to your boots, Fëanor thought you were pretty. Your fëa was the cherry on top of the cake. You were so gentle and funny and respectful, he couldn’t imagine what ’perfect’ was if it wasn’t you.

One day, Fëanor saw you talking to another ellon at the ball his father threw for his coming of age. He didn’t understand why he felt so jealous. You had the right to pursue anyone you liked! So why did he covet your love like he did with his father’s? He ended up feeling angsty for a good amount of time, his jealousy making him snappy and insecure. What if this ellon didn’t like him and wanted you to stop being his friend? The rational part of his mind told him that you were probably only talking to him, flirting at most. You wouldn’t abandon your friendship for someone you weren’t in a relationship with.

He went outside, brooding in silence. A few minutes passed before he heard someone come his way. He looked out the corner of his eye, choking on air as he saw you. You looked concerned and he disliked himself for it, but he felt a strange sense of satisfaction at the fact that you left that ellon to go check up on him.

“Are you alright málonya?” You asked him, your brow furrowed in confusion and worry.

“I… am not..” he confessed hushedly.

“What is wrong then, Fëanáro?” You seemed to be truly concerned now, for he never admitted to being anything other than ‘perfectly fine’.

“I wish for something I probably cannot have..”

You looked deep into his eyes, seemingly searching his fëa. He turned his gaze away, afraid of your reaction if you were to find out.

“Fëanáro… tell me. Please..”

He felt the words of admission come out of his heart and up his throat, in his mouth, he only had to open it and he would be free-

“Why don’t you go back to that ellon you were talking with? You seemed happy with him.” He snapped instead, shame curling inside of him at his cowardice.

“Are you…jealous?” You quietly asked.

Fëanor flinched, not expecting you to see through his words, but then again, that was underestimating you, for you were the smartest elf Fëanor had ever come across. His silence seemed to be enough of an answer for you, because you took his chin in your hand and turned his head so that he was facing you.

“Oh, you lomba man..” you sighed, something like fondness taking over your features.

“I have loved you for a very long time, Curufinwë Fëanáro Finwëyón. You have a brilliant mind, you make me feel all fuzzy inside and meeting you at our spot is like coming home. I cannot tell you how many times I daydreamed about kissing your lips and holding your hand. You make me irrationally happy, Melinya. If you would have me, I would be yours..” you confessed, looking at his mouth towards the end of your last sentence.

He put his hands on your hips and tugged you towards him, kissing you passionately. To know that you felt the same way as he was a relief to Fëanor.

“I wish to court you properly, lissëhón. Can I?” He asked, breathless from your kiss.

Your enthusiastic nod and kiss is enough of an answer for him.

~~~

Your wedding was the biggest and most beautiful of the century. Everyone was in high spirits. It was fun to dance with you, but what was most wonderful was seeing your constant smile as you talked to guests.

Fëanor tore his gaze away from you as he saw your parents approaching. You were the exact copy of your mother, except for your smile. Your father had ginger hair and he had given you his smile. They were wonderful people and he was more than happy to have them as his in-laws.

He was teased by your father for his constant looking, but Fëanor couldn’t stop. You seemed to be radiating happiness as you walked towards him and your parents. It was incredible how Fëanor found himself falling deeper in love with you every day that passed.

~~~

The birth of your first son was a joyous occasion. Maitimo, you called him. Well-shaped one. You were absolutely right, for your child was beautiful. He had inherited his grandfather’s ginger hair and freckles, the eyes of his father and he had your ears, nose and lips. He was the joy of both your hearts.

The birth of your second son was an even more joyous occasion, for Maitimo was the one who had asked for a sibling. He bounced up and down, excited at the prospect of having a brother to play with. Makalaurë, you named him. Forging gold. Once again, you were dead on with the name, for little Makalaurë seemed to make songs more powerful than the Valar, spinning them from gold and leaving all hearts who had heard his singing aching for more. He had inherited his father’s hair and face and your eyes, nose and smile. He was magnificent.

The birth of your third son was followed by exclamations of joy and happiness. Makalaurë and Maitimo were ecstatic at the thought of another brother. Tyelkormo, you named him. Hasty-riser. He was a bundle of energy and woke you up at ungodly hours so that he could play. He was also quick to anger, filled with insecurities and quick to defend his loving family. He had Míriel’s hair, his father’s eyes and your ears, smile and nose. He was breathtaking.

The birth of your fourth son was a cacophony of delight. Everyone had waited long for this little one and he was finally here. Carnistir, you named him. Red face. It had surprised you all that your fourth son had a permanent blush on his face. It was however clear to all that it was adorable. Kisses were pressed on his cheeks constantly and hands caressed his hair. He had inherited the hair of his father and of his eyes while he had your smile and personality. He was calmer and more solitary, preferring to spend time with you than with other kids his age. He was your bliss.

The birth of your fifth son was filled with amusement. This little one looked so much like his father, it was comic. Atarinkë, you named him. Little father. It was more than fitting, for your fifth son attached himself to Fëanor and never let go. Everything his father did, Atarinkë had to do. He looked to Fëanor with awe in his little eyes and wanted to be held by him all the time. He loved his brothers and his parents more than anything in the world. You had no doubt you were heroes in his eyes. He was your euphoria.

The birth of the twins rocked the house. No one had really expected two babies when you had announced you were pregnant. Ambarussa you named them. Top-russet. It was fitting, for they both had the ginger hair of your beloved father. Your reasoning for giving them the same name was because they were born together and were fated to have one name. You still decided to give them separate names anyway. Minyarussa, you named the first one. The first. It was in relation to their birth order, for Minyarussa was the first one to see the light of Telperion. Umbarto, you named the second one. The fated. You had seen something, yet refused to tell Fëanor, which worried him, but at the same time, he didn’t want to push you. They were your rapture.

~~~

The rational part of his mind wailed in despair at what he had done. The Fear, however, was too strong. He had lost his father, he couldn’t lose his sons too, was what It whispered to him. And so, he bound himself and them to an oath. He was leaving Valinor to avenge his father and protect his sons from the Valar, they who hadn’t taken the menace that was Melkor seriously, they who had failed to protect them, they, who in a sense, were a part of the reason his father died. He would protect his sons, at all costs.

You weren’t in agreement with The Fear. You told him that this was madness, that he couldn’t do this, to abandon the oath and go back to how things were before. The rational part of his mind screamed at him to not do this, that you were right and that he would lose you if he didn’t heed your pleas. The Fear, however, was too strong. It killed the rational part of his mind with It’s fists and screamed at him to get away from this place. You didn’t come with him to Arda.

~~~

In his final moments, Fëanor thought back to what you had said and the rational part of his mind rose from the dead to tell him you were right.

~~~

Fëanor didn’t know how many years he spent in the Halls of Mandos. Time passed strangely there. Or more accurately, time had no meaning in these halls. When he was released after he had repented for his crimes, he learned that his sons were also free. He learned that Maedhros had married Fingon and that the former had adopted twins with Maglor. He had a second grandson, another one than little Celebrimbor, named Elrond.

You came to see him shortly after he was released. You both looked at each other, strangers again. He desperately wanted to go back in time and undo his mistakes. Oh, how he longed to wake up with you in his arms, to create you new jewelry and to brag with you about your sons’ accomplishments to other parents. He knew he had lost this privilege and that it was his fault. He knew he had lost you.

However, a glimmer of hope appeared in his chest as you slowly came forward, inches away from him. He raptly listened to what you had to say.

“I do not wish for us to separate our fëas, Fëanáro. What you did was cruel and pure madness, and I do not think I can ever forget what you put our sons through. However, our sons vouched for you. They explained to me that at the time of the oath, you weren’t yourself and that you weren’t okay mentally. I want you to heal, my love. Then we can see where we stand, as you are yourself again.”

“I promise I will heal, vanimelda. I promise.”

~~~

Fëanor kept his promise. He went to Lórien to work on his mind and fëa. It was an arduous journey and he sometimes wanted to give up. The rational part of his mind screamed each time he thought about that to not waste his only chance to win you back. His sons sometimes came to visit him. He apologized to all of them and to Celebrimbor. He was miraculously forgiven.

Fëanor had the pleasure to meet Elrond and his wife, Celebrían, along with their sons, Elladan and Elrohir. It was awkward at first, but slowly, they all warmed up to him. This gave him hope that one day, you could welcome him back into your arms.

~~~

The first time he met his mother in millenia, he cried. He fell into her arms and she hugged him to her chest, crying too. Torrents of tears fell down his cheeks, joy and hurt mixed together. He felt like Nienna had struck him down with grief as he could feel her lips kissing the crown of his head. Míriel rocked him back and forth, humming a tune he remembered was from his childhood.

When he had calmed down, he met his mother properly. They talked for days on end, taking back the time that was cruelly wrenched from them.

“Do you think she’ll ever take me back? Do you think she could love me again, ammë?”

His mother looked at him with love overflowing her eyes.

“Of course, yonya. Please let me meet her when you have won her back!”

~~~

His mother’s words carefully tucked to his chest, he made his way to you. His heart beat-no pounded in his chest and his stomach had a weird fluttery feeling inside of it. The greatest elf who ever lived, Curufinwë Fëanáro Finwëion, was nervous. He knew his sons would welcome him, but you, he had no idea. He hoped, oh how he hoped.

When he stood before you, Fëanor found himself speechless for the second time in his life. You were a beauty to behold, your magnificence unable to be described with words ; you were a feeling, someone to look at. One could not describe your beauty, they had to see it and to experience it.

“Hello, Fëanáro.”

Oh, how he loved how his name rolled off your tongue!

“Hello, (Y/N).”

He had no idea where to start. He had so much to say, yet so little words came to him. When you looked at him and gave him that little smile that made him fall in love, he knew everything would be alright.

~~~

Fëanor woke up, feeling for once at peace. He looked into his arms and found himself smiling, for you were there. The day before, after a long discussion filled with tears, you had accepted him back. That night, you had rekindled your fëas and it felt amazing to feel you again.

That day, Fëanor took you to meet his mother. It was a meeting that made his heart swell with the love he held for the two of you. He invited his sons along and his heart almost burst at the sight of his mother hugging her grandchildren. He looked at you and knew that the overwhelming love he held for you was right. He now knew peace, reunited with his family, even if he missed his father. Yes, this was indeed where he was supposed to be.

@theelvenhaven

[koyunsoncizeri]

Reblogging this again to read before bed 🫣 ! I remember loving this so so much❤️ it has become one of my faves ❤️🥹

[caliawen]

Awww! Thank you! You really don’t know how much your comments mean to me 😭😭 They’re a source of joy that I always look forward to <3 <3

[caliawen]

Dating Fëanor (Headcannons)

Fëanor is an absolute sweetheart

He loves to do things for you, whether it be giving you a massage, make you food, relax with you in your chambers, etc

He will always be there for you, no matter the problem

He is the absolute best at comforting people (it comes with being a dad of seven)

Hugs, kisses, jokes, etc. You don’t even need to ask for, he’s offering!

He adores you and will do his best to make sure you know it

“You know I love you, right, meleth? You are a treasure, a precious gem, a wonder amongst the calm beauty of the world. I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Fëanor is big on words of affection and touch

If you don’t really like it when people touch you, then he’ll respect your boundaries

He’ll compensate by giving you lots and lots of gifts, as well as telling you he loves you more often

Fëanor adores to cuddle, it’s one of his favourite activities

Please cuddle with him he’ll never ask for it, he’s a little bit too prideful for that

Fëanor absolutely loves to make you jewelry or weaponry, it’s one of his favourite pass times

Necklaces, crowns, earrings, rings, daggers, swords, arrows and bows, you name it, he makes it

Fëanor is a bit insecure when it comes to love, so it means a lot when you tell him you love him

Of course, he logically knows you love him, no matter what your love language is, but his insecurity fucks with his logical side

Just a kiss with a whispered ‘I love you’ is enough to calm his insecurity

Fëanor is a master at teasing, especially if he’s taller than you

He’ll take something out of your hands and put it somewhere you can’t reach, laughing when you complain

“What? Don’t tell me you can’t reach that place, love. It’s not that high! Even Pityafinwë and Telufinwë can reach it!”

When you first started dating, he however carefully looked at his sons’ reactions to you when he presented you to them

It was very important to him that his sons liked, if not loved you

He relaxed when you incorporated the family without any problem

He was in a very good mood for a long while after that, because the people he loved the most had accepted you

His father had already given Fëanor his blessing for a marriage

All in all, Fëanor is a wonderful father and an amazing partner

@Caliawen

@theladyvanya

[koyunsoncizeri]

Ahhh 😭😭❤️❤️❤️ ah to be the lover of the most beautiful elf 🥹🤲

[caliawen]

He would treat you right, just like you deserve 😌

[caliawen]

Dating Fëanor (Headcannons)

Fëanor is an absolute sweetheart

He loves to do things for you, whether it be giving you a massage, make you food, relax with you in your chambers, etc

He will always be there for you, no matter the problem

He is the absolute best at comforting people (it comes with being a dad of seven)

Hugs, kisses, jokes, etc. You don’t even need to ask for, he’s offering!

He adores you and will do his best to make sure you know it

“You know I love you, right, meleth? You are a treasure, a precious gem, a wonder amongst the calm beauty of the world. I love you, I love you, I love you…”

Fëanor is big on words of affection and touch

If you don’t really like it when people touch you, then he’ll respect your boundaries

He’ll compensate by giving you lots and lots of gifts, as well as telling you he loves you more often

Fëanor adores to cuddle, it’s one of his favourite activities

Please cuddle with him he’ll never ask for it, he’s a little bit too prideful for that

Fëanor absolutely loves to make you jewelry or weaponry, it’s one of his favourite pass times

Necklaces, crowns, earrings, rings, daggers, swords, arrows and bows, you name it, he makes it

Fëanor is a bit insecure when it comes to love, so it means a lot when you tell him you love him

Of course, he logically knows you love him, no matter what your love language is, but his insecurity fucks with his logical side

Just a kiss with a whispered ‘I love you’ is enough to calm his insecurity

Fëanor is a master at teasing, especially if he’s taller than you

He’ll take something out of your hands and put it somewhere you can’t reach, laughing when you complain

“What? Don’t tell me you can’t reach that place, love. It’s not that high! Even Pityafinwë and Telufinwë can reach it!”

When you first started dating, he however carefully looked at his sons’ reactions to you when he presented you to them

It was very important to him that his sons liked, if not loved you

He relaxed when you incorporated the family without any problem

He was in a very good mood for a long while after that, because the people he loved the most had accepted you

His father had already given Fëanor his blessing for a marriage

All in all, Fëanor is a wonderful father and an amazing partner

@Caliawen

@theladyvanya