Milf-Coded @call-me-maebea - Tumblr Blog

Picture it. Decades after the world is saved, a huge alien spacecraft touches down on earth.

Scientist, politicians, and thousands of reporters gather to witness the aliens disembark the ship. A group of boulder-like creatures, clicking and whistling to the humans around them.

One of them raises something large and metallic towards the crowd.

There's an immediate recoil of fear (is it a weapon?!) before the audience realises it's human technology. A laptop, old and beaten and looks like it was put back together by a drunk.

The alien presses a button.

"Hello Earth, this is Doctor Captain Ryland Grace. These guys are Eridians and they're here on a shopping trip. I have a list and no money, but I did save the world so that has to count for something. Number one, salt and vinegar chips. Actually anything potato. Number two, I miss apple juice. Number three,"

unteriors

S Highway 130, Lone Rock, Wisconsin.

lokaror

lost all my bart coin nedless to say im gonna marge into oncoming traffic

ivipl1

patron saint of girls who keep getting blown the fuck up

hikes-and-moans

UNPOPULAR OPINION: A lot of "mental health issues" disappear when bills are paid, rent is secure, and the fridge is full. Peace is expensive. And pretending money doesn't affect mental health is privilege.

littlegoldendoll

posthumousprincessparts

remove child/childish as a pejorative from your lexicon and from the lexicons of those around you and you will have a far more meaningful impact on reducing child abuse than if you posted "kill all pedophiles" on your woefully unimportant blog

riddlercock

new drinking game: take a shot for every mention of "mom/sister kissing" or "loli/ageplay/ddlg" in the blog of someone complaining about posts saying kill all pedophiles.

posthumousprincessparts

new drinking game: shut the fuck up and die by my toy blade

motherbull

You killed them! Where can I get one of these toy blades?

posthumousprincessparts

none shall see the sun again when i draw my cute lightup magical girl sword my mom got for me!!!!!

gael-garcia

Cecil B. Demented (2000), dir. John Waters

heartsl0b

eela

working hard hardly working etc

sudaca-swag

Visas being denied to players and their families

Forbidding the iranian team coaches from entering the country and forcing them to direct the game from MEXICO through a tv

Players from non european countries being stopped and searched like criminals with dogs

Deporting african referees just because of their nationality

Forbidding interviews from being spoken i'm languages other than English and forbidding journalists and players from speaking their native languages

And all this just in the first week....

caydencrypted

the wisdom ive learnt is that becoming part of a friend group 1) takes a long time and 2) involves a lot of feeling awkward and left out at first. there’s nothing terrible about this but if you grew up chronically lonely or have any kind of trauma relating to social isolation this likely feels Really Wrong and activates danger signals. but both fortunately and unfortunately it’s just how becoming close to new people works most of the time

caydencrypted

another thing that was not intuitive to me as someone who grew up an autistic loner: basically everyone on the planet is starved for connection all the time and almost everything people do is an attempt to reach out to another. most seemingly illogical interactions and behaviours can be explained by this. you have to take as many of these invitations as you can. even if you're wrong you still attempted to bring more warmth into the world