So maybe that's life.

Hello. My name's Jordyn. I read a lot and listen to way too much damn music. I like Tonight Alive, Halestorm, Hollywood Undead, and a little bit of everything else. That's pretty much me. :)

[bookbaristas]

me rn 🫢 (credit to @itsianraymond on twitter!) (at Portland, Oregon) https://www.instagram.com/p/CqE1Py-r2dp/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[pizzamafiaart]

Soda Pop: A highly carbonated soda drink. It can be used to restore 50 HP to a single Pokémon.

[pitbolshevik]

[gauntletqueen]

HEARTBREAKING: Poor girl has to get out of the soft warm bed even though she is so so so so comfy

[gauntletqueen]

HEARTWARMING: Since it is night, girl finally gets to crawl back underneath the covers and be so so so so comfy

[gauntletqueen]

HEARTWRENCHING: Morning has come again, poor girl suspects she might be stuck in a Sisyphean curse

[hedgehog-moss]

Took the bus to the big city yesterday and it only stops near where I live in the early morning and late at night, so I left a bowl for Pandolf with enough food for his 2 meals of the day. He didn’t start eating because it was too early for breakfast and he’s punctilious about mealtimes, but I told him “Bon appétit” to Authorise The Kibble, then left. When I came home at night it was long past his normal dinner time yet I found the bowl half-full—he had eaten the breakfast portion but since he only got 1 bon appétit he didn’t dare to eat the rest for dinner. I don’t think if I had said it twice in a row he would have understood that one of them was a Bon Appétit voucher for his next meal unfortunately. But I’m always amazed by his scruples, he is the most principled animal I know. When he was a puppy he would try to stick his head in his bowl while I poured the food so I taught him to wait until he heard ‘bon appétit’ before going anywhere near it—and very quickly in his mind the words became an incantation that turns the contents of his bowl from a miasma of forbidden unthinkableness into edible food that belongs to him.

This is Pandolf waiting for me to cast the Legal Food spell:

[pocket-size-cthulhu]

If you're not on Twitter following the fake Twitter Blue accounts drama... I'd say i feel bad for you but I'm providing you with the best screenshots here so you don't have to feel left out

[anexperimentallife]

[tricky-pockets]

[acewardcullen]

I am called the fuck out

[speedlimit15]

i think if your account has existed on this site for a certain number of years you should be grandfathered into ad free browsing. a decade seems reasonable like if you signed up in 2012 or prior you have tenure

[hickeywiththegoodhair]

Were you a victim of the Mishapocalypse? You might be entitled to compensation

[unicouniuni]

2020.06.20

[0palheart]

Me when im in an area

[starswallowingsea]

*plays assassins creed to study for my ap history exam*

[freya-du-loch]

This is actually really funny. In high school my humanities teacher told us a story about one of the Europe trips he had gone on with the school a few summers past. So him and the group of kids were in the middle of Rome and the tour guide had gotten lost. They could figure out how to get to some church they were going to see. All of a sudden one of the students like call attention to himself. He says he knows where to go and just start walking around the streets, taking back roads and side streets and within 20 mins they’re at the church they needed to get to. My teacher asks the kid if he has every been to Italy before. He says no, he just knew where to go because he played Assassins Creed Brotherhood.

[ln-ofx]

Idk if anyone’s brought this up yet or not in the notes, but for those of y'all wondering if this is true or not, I’d rate it at a very possibly!

The maps in the assassins creed games are shockingly accurate, though not 100%. They put all of the major landmarks in the correct locations, but compressed the distances between them and made up a lot of the alleys and streets to better suit the sorter distances and play style.

So if you navigate the game using the historical sites as landmarks, and tried doing the exact same thing in real life, it would absolutely work! Everything will be in the direction you’d expect it, just a bit further away… The streets don’t have to line up exactly for that to work.

Look up Overly Sarcastic Productions on YouTube and find Blue’s playthrough if you wanna know more, he spends a lot of time talking about the game and it’s historical accuracy, it’s a good time I recommend.

[screamydreamy]

I am sadly not a legitimate be gay do crimes thrillseeker. the idea of getting in trouble makes my tummy hurt. Sorry

[cat-boy-tits]

the spirit is willing, but the flesh has anxiety.

[kellykline]

i think “guy who thinks another guy is his sworn enemy but the other guy is just normal about it” is one of the better and funnier tropes ever

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[cuntboysupremacy]

girl helppp

[cuntboysupremacy]

forcefemmed future self

[cuntboysupremacy]

the replies are even worse

[radiosandrecordings]

Scottish government currently has a bunch of ads up to get screened for lung cancer, but for some reason they’ve decided to personify cancer as some sort of gothic butch milf and I’m obsessed with her

[typewriter-worries]

“i want something casual” cool well i want someone who will burn cities and start wars just to see my true smile

[little-miss-rasputin-pageant]

all of tumblr: we fucking hate bots

also tumblr:

[kiralamouse]

Hey, I LOVE bots when they’re just here to play with us. COMMERCIAL bots suck.

[the-haiku-bot]

Hey, I LOVE bots when

they’re just here to play with us.

COMMERCIAL bots suck.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[valakiir]

[ryebreadgf]

i am okay with being put in a setting. but if it seems like it might evolve into a situation i’ll kill you