LIKE I USED TO

CAMILLA MONTGOMERY.

[camilla-montgomery]

 itsmikewood:

We got a 3 star rating on Yelp this afternoon, and I slowly felt my entire world begin to implode before dinner service. Who knew an online review could be so closely linked to one’s self-worth?

If anyone wanted to, uh, throw a couple more reviews up for the restaurant, maybe talk up the fantastic head chef, I wouldn’t stop you. Payment with the entree of your choice.

You’re in your head way too much. You’re amazing at what you do. Check out your last five reviews that I had absolutely nothing at all to do with in case you don’t believe me.

[harrisonlcorden]

So why don’t you call check-mate and give up? I’ll even do you a solid and call you the bigger person for once.

Oh sorry, I forgot. You’re the one other person with a compulsion to get the last word in that rivals mine. Stalemate. 

[camilla-montgomery]

Yet another reason we were never meant to last. And yet here we are still talking to each other. Can’t get enough of me, can you?

[harrisonlcorden]

You know, I haven’t even told my sister about this book. What makes you think I’d trust you?

[camilla-montgomery]

You may think I’m a lot of things, but I’d seriously hope untrustworthy isn’t one of them.

[itsmikewood]

You really have a way of making everything sound so simple when it feels like nothing but. Maybe I could, but the question is why? Relaxation, yes, but at what price?

[camilla-montgomery]

You think too much. I mean, I do too, but it’s also nice to believe that there’s a way out of that, if only a couple days. The price is just taking a day or two off of work -- I think you can manage to swing that, can’t you?

[itsmikewood]

You do know that the “weekend getaway” doesn’t exist in real life, right?

[camilla-montgomery]

I know but... Why can’t it? Make it happen.

[harrisonlcorden]

Are you genuinely interested?

[camilla-montgomery]

Maybe. Tell me about it and we’ll see.

[harrisonlcorden]

Ah, the sweet sound of silence. Remember this moment, because I certainly will. I’ll hold you to it next time you decide to act like a child.

[camilla-montgomery]

I’m childish? I’m not the only one who’s not backing down here.

[harrisonlcorden]

I hope you know what you’re getting yourself in to. We’re not dating and I have no reason to let you win.

[camilla-montgomery]

And I wouldn’t want you to. Even if we were dating. What’s the winner’s prize? Though I guess not talking to each other anymore would be prize enough.

[harrisonlcorden]

Or saving us both the headache. I’ve got more important things to focus on.

[camilla-montgomery]

Fair enough. Working on the new great American novel?

[itsmikewood]

I know II’m not turning over in the grave or anything, but I have responsibilities now. I’m a parent and a professional that just can’t check out of life on a whim. It’d be awesome if I could, but it’s not that easy anymore. Being an actual grown-up takes away some spontaneity. 

[camilla-montgomery]

You could always take a break, though. Everyone needs one now and then. You’d come back to your daily life refreshed and maybe even with a new perspective. It’s worth a try, right?

[harrisonlcorden]

Oh, I can go all night, Camilla. This is the kind of stuff I live for.

[camilla-montgomery]

I accept your challenge.

[harrisonlcorden]

I guess all we can really do is try. Maybe call a truce.

[camilla-montgomery]

Harrison Corden calling a truce... incredible. I’d be a fool not to take it.

[itsmikewood]

Not getting married. Engaging with people as a human instead of through my food. Or, you know, travel. The same answer as everyone else when they’re asked that question.

[camilla-montgomery]

Who says you can’t still do those things? I mean, aside from the first one. You’re not nearly as old as you think you are. You’ve got time. Get out there and live.

[itsmikewood]

Don’t get me wrong - I love what I do, but I think there’s always that feeling of missed opportunities, you know? Risks I should have taken.

Confident. I like it.

[camilla-montgomery]

I can get that. What kind of risks do you wish you’d taken? It’d not too late, you know.

Do you now? Good.

[harrisonlcorden]

I’m not putting it entirely on you. We can both be mature enough to take our part of the blame without lashing out, can’t we?

[camilla-montgomery]

Can we, though?

[harrisonlcorden]

Because we’re both stubborn enough to always want the last word. 

[camilla-montgomery]

One of us has to give in eventually, otherwise we’ll be talking to each other forever, and I don’t think either of us wants that.

[harrisonlcorden]

Oh, Camilla. Just wait until you’re thirtieth birthday. I think you’ll start to see things a lot differently and I’ll be ready with my “I told you so.”

Well in that case, mission accomplished?

[camilla-montgomery]

I doubt that. I don’t know why you wouldn’t be satisfied with what you’ve got.

Score. There might be more where that came from.