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beanytuesday

Animal Crackers for Zoologists

huntress-s-thompson

Pessimistic Wayne Gretzky: You will miss one hundred percent of the shots you take

Nihilistic Wayne Gretzky: it doesn't matter how many shots you take

quasi-normalcy

Back when I was, like, 12 years old, I didn't really consider myself political. I just believed in things that I naively supposed that everyone believed in, like

It's good that you don't have to go bankrupt from medical procedures (i'm Canadian)

Science is good and public policy should be informed by it

It's good to have a liveable planet

Peace is preferable to war

Etc.

junglejim4322

Something I think about a lot is when dj khaled spent a day lost at sea on a jet ski literally just because he drove away and got lost and started live posting about it and as he got increasingly panicked he started making like inspirational insta stories about his opps wanting him to fail even though he was entirely responsible for the situation and just started saying shit like “they don’t want you to WIN. they don’t want you to get found when you’re lost at sea in the dark”

treecitysessions

Going around asking random people to hit their shit is crazy actually this is the one time I’ll side with a Frenchman

hotvampireadjacent

egregore-engine

in 2019-2020 I worked at one of the most evil educational institutions in the world before I quit (it was my first job and I was basically a clerk) and every day before work I would take the bus and listen to the entirety of 1,000 gecs twice in full before starting my work day. the entire winter I would arrive at work before the sun rose and leave after the sun set, and my office was in an underground room with no windows. it was extremely grim. I was profoundly insane and started all sorts of bonkers twitter drama, including getting into arguments with Lutheran clergy about theology day in and day out, because of course at this point I was also a communist Lutheran for some reason. I got addicted to caffeine and was drinking like 9 coffees a day (I am not a large person and I have schizoaffective disorder) so that was also bad. it was a very formative period in my life. I fell in love. this was right before the pandemic changed the course of everyone's lives forever, of course. I wish I could reach back there and reassure that panicked girl that it will work out alright. even now, when I listen to 1,000 gecs, I remember that season. the cold Philadelphia air settling into my bones and dredging up old dreads, like an ache in my joints. anyways, what were you asking?

the barista at the cafe: ... what kind of milk did you want with that

me: oh. uh, lactose free.

maykitz

my jaw hit the ground

cassettecolonthree

people have lots of pet peeves with guys being/being called grunglers. i dont care abt any of that. my annoyance is that in the original tweet the guy himself was not the grungler, the messed up dark souls character he made while on call with strange transsexuals was the grungler. ur all misusing the term