Michigan and Colorado owe me child support

Am I a gimmick blog? Maybe. Idk.

[irl-batsignal]

Theres a fanfiction i want to read but i dont wanna be shot down for it

[cantgetshitindenver]

why should one be gunned down by the hands that judge unnecessarily.

[villainwithacrush]

WHAT is even the point of mind controlling a hero if it doesn't feel good. if you can't make them like it. if they don't learn to want it.

[rawenky]

Alright question for the people who read my fics, as I’m entering dos2 territory, things are going to get gorier. Mitch is playing a necromancer, there’s an island made of blood and corpses and multiple quest lines involve the torture of NPCs and necromancy. I wanna know if I should keep the gore and the violence to the level I established with I just need a house, food, love, or if I can up the ante with more graphic (and more present) descriptions.

So, amount of gore in the next fic (Human Nature):

The same as before.

Worse.

More nuanced answer (feel free to provide said nuance).

Voting ended onJun 9

[rawenky]

WONDERFUL NEWS!!

[evilcarmona]

I'm very inspired by the scenes where Danny is Mr. Freeze's assistant, so I made a sketch with the design.

Maybe I'll paint it again.

So, Danny has found a good part-time job, and he really likes this man with a tragic backstory and ICE.

But the GIW keeps track of news about anything that looks like ghosts. Even if his ectoplasmic signature can get lost in Gotham, his appearance is really a problem.

So he asks Sam and Tucker for help, and their grins should really have alerted him.

Sam chooses winter fairy because "fairy is cool, you can borrow my book on medieval mythology to make sure." Tucker is working on the technological aspects. So.

(let's be honest, the main reason is that Ellie recently started watching Winx. They're sure she's going to fucking love it.)

Wings mask the ability to fly. The warm clothes are thick enough to fit inside a special fabric that holds back most of the ghost core's energy signature. The half mask hides the green glow of the eyes. Among other things, the colors are far from the usual black and white, so as not to be associated with an old suit.

Simply put, this costume is a monstrous combination of technology and magic. According to Sam and Tucker, how well Danny's ass stands out is just a nice bonus.

It works, and Danny looks like a perfectly ordinary meta-henchman of Mr. Freeze. Now it would be really nice if literally all the fucking Batman kids would stop staring at his ass.

(optional: Strangely enough, in THIS transformation of a magical girl, literally all the inhabitants of Amity recognize him. Apparently, the blocking of ecto in the mask was overdone? Now everyone at home knows that he's a supervillain's henchman, lol)

(Mr. Lancer lets out a very long, drawn-out sigh)

(besides, I've never been able to choose between dead on main, dead tired or dead serious)

(well, damn it, choose for yourself)

[touchofhemlocktea]

Omg. This is brilliant.

[megasweetbones]

Is it bad I'm imagining he had regular pants until one of the bat boys accidentally ripped a leg off?

[touchofhemlocktea]

And every other bats definitely wouldn't believe them when they swore it was an accident.

[hdgnj]

Danny: Why did you guys give me a boon window? And why won't you fix my leg!!!!

Tucker: It's cute! Ellie loves it. Also, your cleavage distracts the Bat kids.

Sam: Also, there are no other guys doing the sex appeal angle correctly. Someone needs to step up. !might as well be you.

---

Tim: I have never been more glad I fumbled a landing in my life....

Steph: It was the boob window right?

Tim: Yeah... It's just cruel. Why is he so cute!!!!! Why isn't he fixing it!!! It was bad enough before!!!!!

Jason: Awww, Timbo having his first rogue crush mental spiral?

Steph: Dude. Have you SEEN Ice Sprite?!? You can't tease him for this. Half the city wants in his pants!!

Jason: No, no, I'm teasing him for not being able to reign it in. Being distracted by the attraction. Not finding him hot.

Steph: Ahh! My bad.

[a-pan-with-pots]

Danny is a bit different to Mr. Freeze than his other usual henchmen. Danny shows skills and promise in the lab and has had breakthroughs that fully stabilized his wife. She's not awake or able to leave cryo still. But Mr. Freeze no longer has to worry that she will die in cryo despite all the precautions he took. And therefore is able to slow down and put more focus in making sure the cure is correct and will save her instead of racing against the clock.

Many people see Danny and assume he's a bimbo because of how he dresses and the fairy theme. Plus he plays into it with the Winx theme. But eventually Tim is gonna find out that his crush is not dumb and can actually match him in the smarts department.

[hdgnj]

Tim crouched, screaming into his hands. Radiating confused attraction.

Dick: What happened now?

Duke: Get this. Sprite? Is studying astrophysics and mechanical engineering. Top of his class even. And he managed to stabilise Mrs Fries. Freeze has been showing off his prized minions skills.

Dick: Ah. So, Tim's little crush just got worse then?

Duke: Well, yeah. Also, never make me fight Sprite again. Just... I don't know what he did. But my shadow hurts.

Dick: Your shadow?

Duke: I said what I said ok! Anyway, Babs is holding the books still?

Dick: Of course. You changing your bet?

Duke: Sprite is way smarter than we anticipated. I'm getting he has at least another four months, barring exceptional circumstances, before we find his ID.

[cantgetshitindenver]

Pt 8 of my weird ahh headcanons from 2024

Mitch reads danmei

[alyakthedorklord]

Soulmate body swap au where Danny swaps with his soulmate (in my mind its damian or maybe cass but it could be anyone) while they’re in the middle of a fight.

Like, a big fight. Parademons, alien invasion, full arkham breakout kind of fight. All hands on deck, no backup, all in kind of fight.

And then comms just come on and Danny is there in a hero’s body like “hey, soo… is now a bad time to be soul switched?”

And every listening hero has this sudden stomach dropping horrified reaction, because oh my god, this is almost certainly a civilian, on the battlefield, where are they, who were they fighting last, they’re gonna die, oh no, who’s closest go save them NOW.

And then danny’s like “oh cool a sword i kinda know what to do with this.” (Canonically he has fought with a katana before)

Okay, hes got some training, just keep yourself safe we’re coming

And then ten minutes later Dany’s back on comms like “Great news guys! Some of my power is attached to my soul so I can use it even in this body! Fun.” (If its a hero who has been in contact with laz water he’s draining it to fuel his ectoblasts)

Another two minutes go by and now its just “oh, who’s a big eldritch soul-eating puppy dog? You are! Yes you are, good boy!”

The hero in danny’s body is having a full blown panic attack, trying to contact their team, trying to figure out where their soulmate is, if they’re okay, how to help them, and when they finally get eyes on the situation danny is just-

Charging into battle on Cujo’s back, weapon raised, manic glee and lazarus glow in his eyes and a war cry on his lips as he completely crushes anything in his way.

Sam: yeah thats what I thought he’d be doing

Tucker: he’s surprisingly adaptable

Dannys soulmate: 0///0

[cantgetshitindenver]

"–s he okay?!"

"Why wouln.. -e be?! Ope...th..get to.. ite!"

Damian felt hands over his body helping him up, heard the crack and sizzle of what he can see is a portal of which he goes through.

Damian passes out as soon as he sees the snowy dessert of the Far Frozen.

___

The first thing Danny felt was the his ears ringing. He crouched down, placing his palms on his knees (no?) as he took a breath of–

Ew. Ew ew ew ew no this. This is not fresh nor air.

... maybe a bit dramatic on the 'not air' part but still! What kind of place would have smoke for air?

"ROBIN! Report!" Exclaimed from Danny's earpiece- no it isn't his now is it? It's not that hard to figure out the kinks of the thing so-

"Hi, I'm Danny and I'm going to guess my soul mate's also a hero?" Danny rambled, finally realizing he's in a burning building.

The line is dead for a few moments before a calm and smooth voice answers.

"Hello Danny, I'm the Oracle. I would be correct to assume you're a hero, yes?"

"That would be right Ms. Oracle."

Theres a few giggles heard on the line but otherwise quiet. "Then it wouldn't be a bother to get the remaining people inside the building, yes?"

Oh! So that's why!

"Uh, no ma'am. I'll do my best." Dany said already using the little bit of his– his soul mate's ectoplasm to cool down the hallway via ice.

___

Damian awoke to the hands of.. a yeti giving him a check up.

"Ah! Miss Manson, Mister Foley, come quick! It seems that the Great One's soul mate has awaken!"

Oh. He's in his soul mate's body then..

He sees a girl and a boy his age come his way. They pause when they look at Damian, or well, look at his eyes that is.

"Okay, Danny with green eyes while he's in his human form is weird, yeah?" Said Foley.

Manson nodded facing the Yeti.

"Well, the Great One is most lucky to have a soul mate who is liminal lest his body be damned!" The Yeti said but turned back to Damian. "And yet it is unfortunate that you are one. Would you mind telling us?"

He's going to assume he's in an alien world.

[rawenky]

Thing I was brainstorming with @coopiecaken a while ago: when your video game glitches and Sans Undertale walks out of your screen I don’t think your immediate first thought is to find the console manual and dial the number for tech support. Your first thought is either run, call 911 or interacting with the glitch.

So Hinobi has to have another way of detecting glitches. My headcanon is that the console (which always requires to be online to let you play) pings the nearest Hinobi HQ whenever something glitches and that’s what alerts the techs. The tech support calls are a secondary bonus that can help gain more accurate information, but most of the time no one calls.

Which leaves us with all those 911 calls that will probably raise suspicions. Except Hinobi is great at damage control and if they’re not in cahoots with the call centers who can then redirect the calls to them, I think they’d create some stupid trend about calling 911 to say a random video game character came out of your game. So now whenever someone calls 911 screaming that the Sims 4 cow plant is there, the guy on the other end of the line goes “haha very funny” and hangs up.

If Hinobi also dabbles in phones, I wouldn’t put it past them to make all of their tech detect PLixel constructs so that it automatically corrupts any attempt at photographing a glitch, thus vastly reducing the amount of damage control they have to do to make evidence disappear from social media.

This also explains why the techs don’t show up expecting a glitch only for the issue to be regular tech support. The console pings them when there’s a glitch so if they only come from someone calling. It’s definitely just tech support.

[rawenky]

Miko never appears in photos so some people start to assume she’s a vampire

[rawenky]

Thing I was brainstorming with @coopiecaken a while ago: when your video game glitches and Sans Undertale walks out of your screen I don’t think your immediate first thought is to find the console manual and dial the number for tech support. Your first thought is either run, call 911 or interacting with the glitch.

So Hinobi has to have another way of detecting glitches. My headcanon is that the console (which always requires to be online to let you play) pings the nearest Hinobi HQ whenever something glitches and that’s what alerts the techs. The tech support calls are a secondary bonus that can help gain more accurate information, but most of the time no one calls.

Which leaves us with all those 911 calls that will probably raise suspicions. Except Hinobi is great at damage control and if they’re not in cahoots with the call centers who can then redirect the calls to them, I think they’d create some stupid trend about calling 911 to say a random video game character came out of your game. So now whenever someone calls 911 screaming that the Sims 4 cow plant is there, the guy on the other end of the line goes “haha very funny” and hangs up.

If Hinobi also dabbles in phones, I wouldn’t put it past them to make all of their tech detect PLixel constructs so that it automatically corrupts any attempt at photographing a glitch, thus vastly reducing the amount of damage control they have to do to make evidence disappear from social media.

This also explains why the techs don’t show up expecting a glitch only for the issue to be regular tech support. The console pings them when there’s a glitch so if they only come from someone calling. It’s definitely just tech support.

[bad-morning-hawk]

I hope I don't meet my exact opposite

[cantgetshitindenver]

@goodeveningdove

Hey so uh

[bambicoded]

with how deeply physical their bond is, i don't think that hollanov ever bothered to develop a safeword. i do think, though, that they developed-- by accident!-- a physical system to tell each other how they are feeling. and it definitely bleeds into their life outside the bedroom, and it's definitely subconscious at this point, and it definitely makes it into the locker room and onto the ice by the time they're both in ottawa.

which means maybe the centaurs have picked up on the fact that hey, sometimes when shane wants ilya to stop doing something, he taps his arm twice. or if ilya wants shane to move one way, he taps him three times. or if he just wants his attention, its a squeeze. which is all relatively normal, and they probably think its cute that they have an unspoken language for communicating with one another.

and then maybe-- by accident!-- it starts taking root as a thing, and then mindlessly troy or wyatt or bood accidentally double pats shane's arm to get him to stop talking to ilya for a moment, and shane thinks for a moment, that was a weird coincidence, and moves on. but then it happens again, and then maybe luca squeezes his arm to get his attention and then bood taps him three times to get him to move aside so he can walk past and shane feels himself flush to the ears and catches ilya's eyes across the room and ilya definitely noticed that too. so now what? they can't full well ask them to stop without saying, hey, so this was a sex thing. but it'd be weird to let it continue... right?

[emo-crowgirl]

*Miko is standing in the middle of an empty road, on a call with Mitch*

Miko: By the way, uhhhhh…

Miko: One of them…

Miko: …disappeared?

Miko: I think??

Mitch: I’m- I’m sorry hold on let me just…

*Mitch can be heard rustling several papers on his end of the call*

Mitch: Yeah, according to this slip, uhhh

Mitch: YOU’RE NOT HOUDINI.

Mitch: SO…

Mitch: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONE OF THEM DISAPPEARED?!

Mitch: That’s a whole ass tech van!

Mitch: They can’t just do that!

Mitch: What do you mean it disappeared?

Miko: I mean.

Miko: Uhhh…

Miko: Ummm..

Miko: I saw it.

Miko: Uhhhh…

Miko: And then I turned around and I kinda stopped thinking for a bit and then when I turned around again-

Mitch: YOU STOPPED THINKING?!

Mitch: So your brain just turned off and then my van was gone, right?

Miko: ….I mean….

Mitch: Let me go call them real quick hold on.

*Mitch calls Zahra on his gauntlet*

Mitch: Zahra. Report. What happened to van number 4?

Zahra: WE’RE SURROUNDED ON ALL SIDES MITCH SEND HELP

Mitch: WHAT HAPPENED?

Zahra: THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!

Zahra: THEY ALREADY TOOK BERGY!

Zahra: FIVE HAD TO RESET HIMSELF PLEASE YOU HAVE TO-

*Call disconnects*

Mitch: …

Miko: …

Source:

[papayafromtv]

i do love the concept of Damian being a really sheltered cult-baby that was only let out to train while he was in the League of Assassins, but i also have to say that the complete opposite is very good too, specifically if it's because Jason and him got attached to each other and so Talia couldn't separate them whenever Jason went off on missions/trips. i think it would be funny if Damian has literally been fucking everywhere, and Bruce and the others don't realise how diverse his childhood was until they ask to see baby photos and Damian returns a day later with a legitimate van's worth of boxes filled with an insane amount of photos, because Jason took photos everywhere Damian went and made sure to keep every single one.

i want it to be like fucking. Forrest Gump levels of insane connections. there's an old news report about some kind of incident like an attempted attack during a winter Olympics game held in Beijing years ago, and Damian will casually walk by like 'oh yes, i remember that game. Todd made me take a photo holding the torch after he stopped the attackers.' and then everybody has to just stare while he walks off. he's spotted briefly in the background of a nature documentary when a specialist visits a tribe in the amazon rainforest, and Tim watching it genuinely thinks he's going schizophrenic until he shows Damian and the kid casually goes 'yeah Todd trained with the leader of their tribe, so we were there for about nine weeks. i have a box of old polaroid's taken during the stay if you wish to see them?'. Tim is losing his mind. Bruce finds an old photo of toddler-Damian in the Fortress of Solitude playing with Krypto and he's about to go into cardiac arrest about Clark lying to him until Damian tells him 'yes, Jason worked alongside Kara as the Red Hood on multiple occasions, and she always had us meet her in the Fortress of Solitude when Superman was out.'

essentially, i think Jason should have been here there and fucking everywhere while working under the League of Assassins, and i want Damian to have crazy baby photos because of it. i know he's like, 14 at most, but i still want to give him insane dad-lore.

[cantgetshitindenver]

Its still insane that the last push Phil needed to hire Ridley was for Ridley to allow BITT to make donuts.

[cantgetshitindenver]

"I'm not better than a man–" Ma'am, Captain, and the occasional parrot, no one should sexualise someone's tits and you can help by not caring.

[cantgetshitindenver]

I still remember the time where I was in a DC role play and looking at other moots I saw like this normal post abt something and some of my moots moots moots' moots r role-playing there and the op found out

[fruitcakebro]

HOW TO MAKE YOUR HOUSE AND LAUNDRY SMELL AMAZING IN THREE EASY STEPS!

SPILL HALF A 400g CONTAINER OF VANILLA BEAN PASTE ON YOUR FLOOR, COUNTER, AND CLOTHES.

CLEAN IT UP WHILE SOBBING PROFUSELY, BECAUSE VANILLA BEAN PASTE IS EXPENSIVE.

PUT CLOTHES AND CLEANING RAGS INTO WASHING MACHINE WITH OTHER STUFF.

On the one hand: mmmm, my whole house smells like vanilla. On the other hand, ANGUISH.

[cantgetshitindenver]

how much does vanilla bean paste cost?

[rawenky]

I wish Mrs Boosh lives the rest of her years sunbathing under the sun, getting snacks from the Nieves, scratching Mitch, loafing under Five, & having many staring contests with Miko.

That is indeed exactly what happens.

[cantgetshitindenver]

THANK YOU SO SO SO MUCH