electric fish

unstable undergrad who's obsessed with lis

[rylandgracie]

elle and her little grunge space buns and her vinyl pink pants and her plaid pink shirt and dancing to nirvana because she loves her lesbian best friend so much

[caobobo]

cant stop thinking about them

[caobobo]

Cheap Wine

sean diaz x reader

(sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language :p)

You and Sean were in your house alone. You spent the day watching movies and playing different games. These moments were almost becoming part of your routine. But today, you didn't want Sean to leave. However, the sky was getting darker and you both were bored of playing video games. You needed to find an excuse to be with Sean for longer. You left the joystick on the couch and walked to the kitchen. You came back with the cheapest wine in your house, so that you could buy another one so your parents don't get pissed.

"I got this for us."

"I'll take it," he said, while glancing at your other empty hand. "You forgot the glasses."

"I didn't. We can drink from the bottle," you said and sat on the couch.

You were planning to ask him to open it, but before you could say anything he took the bottle from your hand and twisted the cap off. He handed it to you, silently letting you drink first.

After your first sip, you passed the bottle to him and asked:

"So what's your plan for the weekend?"

"Nothing at all," he said after taking a big sip. "What about you?"

"Maybe invite you to go to the movies." You took the bottle out of his hand.

"Oh, I'd totally go. But dad's still pissed about finding weed in my things."

"Told you to hide under the mattress."

"I know, you were right. I was too naive." He took another sip.

You watched him drink, the way his hand firmly held the wine bottle. There was something especially captivating about him today. The red light from the TV reflected on his skin so perfectly, turning even the simple act of him looking down at his hands into something cinematic. You realized how different he made you feel a few weeks ago, when he was teaching you how to skate. He was wearing his same old hoodie and barely trying to stop you from falling.

"You just need to bend your knees."

"But I was bending them!"

"Certainly not enough."

"Right, I give up," you said, letting yourself fall beside Sean.

"No, don't give up! At least try one more time. I'll help you with the balance and then you try on your own."

You decided to try again. You stepped onto the board with Sean holding both of your arms. Your heart raced so fast you couldn't think straight. You spent weeks trying to convince yourself Sean was just Sean. But now he was holding you so tight that you found yourself wishing he would keep holding on a little longer and a lot closer. And that's when you realized that the source of your anxiety was not coming from skating but Sean. Though that changed as soon as he let you go and your brain finally registered how fast you were going.

"Sean!" you screamed while panicking.

"Remember the knees. You're doing great!"

"I CAN'T FUCKING STOP!" Instead of answering, Sean started laughing at you and you stared at him in disbelief.

You immediately jumped off the board, nearly tripping over your own feet.

"Hate you so bad."

"Hey, you were doing fine!" he tapped your right shoulder once while walking behind you to get the skateboard that was still rolling.

You couldn't contain a smile. But when you turned to him you tried to look pissed.

"Never say that I have to come skate with you again." Which you hoped he took as a signal to actually invite you again.

"Yeah, right." He grabbed his backpack. "So same next weekend?"

The wine was almost over. Time was passing by and you still didn't want him to go. At this point both of you were on the floor while laughing over your skate's memories with your feet in his lap. You couldn't stop looking at him, but made sure he didn't notice. You knew so much about him yet sometimes he still felt impossible to figure out, you wished you could swim in his thoughts, through his creative and caring mind.

"How are things going between you and Jenn? Have you talked to her?"

"I mean, yeah, we chatted for a bit, but I don't think we'll go anywhere, you know?" he said after taking a sip.

"Totally…" You took the last drops of wine. "You know, it's so insane to think we're this close to college, and I still have no idea what I'm gonna do. Sometimes I feel like everyone has a plan except for me."

"Yeah. Same. I keep waiting for the moment when I'll figure everything out."

You guys stayed quiet for a while. Enjoying the silence and each other's presence. Then he took a deep breath and gently moved your feet off his lap.

"It's getting too late. Unfortunately I need to go." He got up, picked up his backpack and walked to the front door. "Thank you for the wine. See you on Monday."

"Wait."

Sean stopped and looked at you.

"Stay."

"Why?"

You weren't thinking of an excuse for him to stay now.

"Because I don't want you to go."

Sean stared at you for some seconds before coming back and sitting next to you on the floor again. Your eyes followed him during the whole time. Blood rushed to your cheeks as you realized what you had done. Of course wanting to spend more time with your friend is a normal thing, but you didn't want him as a friend anymore.

"You've been staring at me all night long."

As he finished saying that you felt your face getting way hotter. What could you possibly say now?

You looked away.

"I haven't."

"You sure have."

"Maybe a little."

Sean smiled.

"More than that."

You remained silent.

Sean rubbed the back of his neck and looked away.

"So… you wanna do something? Watch a mo—"

"No. I just… I don't know."

Sean didn't take his eyes off you for a second.

"You don't know?"

"I do."

You knew exactly what you wanted at that moment, but formulating sentences was the hardest part. You wish you could read his mind right now. He obviously noticed something was off with you all night, but did he get it? Does he know how you feel? You're now wishing you had let him go minutes earlier that night. But you can't go back in time.

"So why don't you want me to go?"

"Why do you think?"

He raised his eyebrows, caught by surprise.

"You've been acting… odd for the past few weeks. I think I know why."

Suddenly the space between you both felt too small. You waited for him to say more, but he just stayed in silence.

"So tell me."

"Do you really want me to say it?"

"Only if you feel the same."

You both stared at each other. The silence went for way too long, making your heart drop. He definitely doesn't feel the same. You both are friends and that's it. What a stupid idea it was to make him stay, but he was free to leave anyway.

Sean came closer to you.

"If I didn't feel the same I wouldn't spend all my weekends with you or stay knowing damn well I'll get in trouble for being here so late."

You were looking into his eyes, and his gaze kept drifting down to your lips. You both slowly moved even closer to each other, erasing the distance between you. He gently grabbed your jaw and approached your face to his, bringing your lips together. The classic cliché explosion of mixed emotions was all you felt at that moment. His mouth tasted like wine and his lips were so soft that you didn't want to let them go.

You both pulled away, catching your breath. For a second neither of you said anything. Then you smiled and Sean smiled back. Soon both of you were laughing at the absurdity of spending weeks ignoring something that was ridiculously obvious all along.

"Took us long enough."

[caobobo]

did anyone get the reference ?

[caobobo]

Avoidance

sean diaz x reader

(silly little fic i wrote. please, forgive me for any mistakes, english is not my first language)

Sean’s phone keeps ringing, but he will not pick it up. It has been like this for weeks. He’s been ignoring you at all costs. You don’t really know exactly why, maybe you have offended him somehow. Unfortunately, you’re too afraid to ask. What if he’s just avoiding you because he thinks you’re boring? Then, you really don’t want to know the reason.

Sometimes you wonder if you were being too much… Maybe he noticed your long stares, you trying to find his eyes in a crowded room, or your hysterical laughs over something he said that is not actually that funny and you’re just being awkward as hell… In short, maybe he thinks you like him and he’s definitely not into you.

But today you've got a plan. After classes, Sean has extra training with the track team, so you’ll be waiting outside the gym to catch him by surprise, leaving him with no escape, especially near his other teammates. You plan on asking him if he’s upset with you and that’s why he doesn’t answer your calls and text messages or runs from every conversation at school.

However, in between classes, you heard Sean and Lyla, a friend in common, talking about someone, a they, in an almost empty classroom.

“You should answer them, it’s starting to get obvious,” said Lyla while getting her backpack.  

“Nothing’s obvious, I doubt they ever noticed my absence,” said Sean walking straight to the door where you were spying, looking startled when he almost bumped into you.

“Uhm… Hi. I’ve been looking to talk to you,” you said trying to hide that you were listening while blocking the path. 

“Oh, hi. Can we talk later? There’s something very important I need to ask a teacher before the next class.” You felt your heart sink in frustration. You were so ready to give up, but Lyla came and saved you.

“Actually, Sean, I’ll ask for you. You both can talk.” she passed through you both so fast in order to prevent Sean from disagreeing. He looked the same as always, as handsome as always, but he was avoiding eye contact and nervously playing with his backpack strap.

“So I wanted to ask if there’s something I did. You’ve been kinda distant and… Are you okay? You seem worried”

“No, I’m fine! We’re fine. There’s nothing bothering me at all, except chemistry exams, you know.” He laughed awkwardly.

“Sure… Have you seen my text messages? I sent you some.”

“Oh, I’ve been kinda distracted, I might have forgotten to answer. But I’ll check when I get home. Anyways, so I need to go now, we’ll talk later, okay?” you nodded, upset, while he left for another class.

Walking home with Lyla, as you always do, you decided to ask her if she knew what was going on with Sean. Why out of nowhere he went from one of your best friends to an awkward colleague. She stopped walking since you both were already in front of your house and said:

“Okay… I’m not keeping up with this anymore. I’m tired of Sean’s attitude only because he’s a coward.”

“What do you mean by that?” Confusion was painted all over your face.

“Sean likes you! He’s been avoiding you because he can’t deal with his own feelings.”

After hearing that you felt a mix of emotions. You were confused, excited, curious for more and kinda relieved.

“You’re serious? Are you joking or…” she interrupted you.

“Yeah, I'm serious. And don’t try to pretend you don’t like him too ‘cause I’m not stupid, I’ve seen how you act around him.”

“I… — you realized there was no reason to deny, she knew you, all those questions you would make to her about Sean were not subtle at all — Okay, but did he tell you that or are you just assuming?”

“I found it very weird how often he would go away when we three were together. So I asked him what was happening and he confessed it. He was too afraid to get rejected so he decided to avoid you, I guess.”

“That’s… crazy. I thought I did something wrong.”

“Don’t worry, you didn’t. Since I told you that, please tell Sean to start acting normal again, he won't listen to me. Bye, see you tomorrow.” Lyla walked away and you entered your house.

You stopped at the front door revisiting everything in your mind. All the times yours and Sean’s hands touched each other when he was trying to teach you how to draw, the day when you both fell asleep on his couch mid-movie and you woke up with his head on your shoulder, the night when you both left a party and it was so late that he kindly walked you home even though you said it wasn’t necessary.

All of that felt so special to you when you started to understand what your feelings meant. He was more than just a friend, he was someone you couldn’t take your eyes off, everything he did felt so perfectly done, you refused to believe any of his flaws truly belonged to him; they felt meticulously calculated to ruin Sean Diaz’s perfection. That’s how you saw him. And you were so broken-hearted to imagine that he didn’t want your company anymore. But now everything was clear and you couldn’t contain your smile at the fact that Sean actually liked you.

The ecstatic feeling of excitement made you open the door and almost run back to school. You needed to talk to him, to see him. If you both were in sync, there was no reason for this to stay unspoken. On the way, you kept reliving the feelings you had saved for him, now you could finally reveal them because it was reciprocal. All the nights you kept awake thinking about all of your interactions, how he keeps fixing his hair while talking to you, and how passionate he gets when talking about his favorite things, smiling big and showing you everything about it. You missed that, but you realized it was worth it. You were gonna win that prize.

Arriving at school you walked toward the gym, looking around. Your heart was beating so fast, you were trembling with anxiety. Now that you were here you didn’t exactly know what to say. As you looked around the gym trying to find him you heard someone calling behind you, it was Sean asking what you were still doing at school. You didn’t think much, you held his left arm and guided him to an empty classroom and closed the door behind you. He tried to resist but followed your guide anyway.

“He–y. What happened? Why did you pull me here?”

“I know why you don’t wanna talk to me.”

“What do you mean? I–I do wanna talk to you,” his voice was trembling and his hands were moving awkwardly. 

“Lyla told me,” you said looking serious and trying to make eye contact while he kept avoiding it.

“She did? What did she say exactly?” He looked extremely worried.

“She said you hated me for being annoying and always bothering you with rambling,” his eyes popped out of his face immediately.

“Wait, that’s not true! That’s not what I told Lyla.” 

“Yeah? So what did you tell her?”

“I told her I liked you! That I couldn’t do anything but smile every time I saw you. I couldn’t say that I hated you because that would never be true. I feel like exploding when you’re around me and I can’t stop it. But I never thought that you liked me back, I thought you were just being polite and kind, and I couldn’t face the fact that I’d never be yours. So I ran away trying to escape from your magnetic field and failed miserably. Please, I would never say such a thing,” he said all at once, desperately.

You couldn’t believe how good that tasted. You were smiling inside while feeling your chest fill with excitement. Is he stupid? How could he not think that you liked him back? Didn’t he get the hints? All the time he also liked you, that moment could have come so much earlier. But it’s fine, it’s happening now.

“Sean, I—” he spoke over you, quickly running his hands through his hair.

“Listen, you don’t need to say anything. It’s okay, you can leave if you—” you cut him off by leaning toward his lips. You wouldn’t waste any more time. He was surprised for a second, but kissed you back immediately. 

“I was lying,” you whispered against his lips. Sean stared at you, visibly confused, still trying to catch his breath. When realization finally crossed his face, he smiled in disbelief before carefully holding your face with one hand and kissing you again.