This post is for me and only me.
I need a safe spot to post this.
You manipulated and gaslighted me constantly.
You would always tell that I had to watch my weight because you didn’t date fat people.
You’d throw hissy fits about me texting friends, even told me you’d love it if i stopped talking to them.
You’d always threaten to punch me.
Remember when you told me about your sex fantasy where you beat the shit outta me before we had sex?
You’d threaten to kill yourself if you were ever labeled as abusive. You’d ask me if you were and then end it with “cause I’ll kill myself if I am”
You could never say anything nice to me.
You would ALWAYS post our personal life online, yes including the little sex we had.
You would always tell me how you had no faith in me, didn’t believe I’d ever be willing to work enough to move out, or ever be willing to get a license, and you even claimed you weren’t sure id be willing to graduate.
You told me I couldn’t talk to MY OWN BROTHER
I started T and you went “congrats” and then held a pitty fest for the next week about it.
You had me trapped to your basement for two months, I stopped sleeping and when I told you about it you didn’t even care.
I went to a con without you and you called me and yelled at me and suicide baited me for hours over a CBD editable candy.
I came back a and not too long after I broke down and begged to leave, which you used against me. You legit told me “it’s proof that you’re not ready to move out. You’re not mature enough” blah blah blah.
My therapist told me to think about the possibility that I had PTSD and if I was willing to label my experiences with that. I told you this and you went “you’ve never gone through something bad enough to warrant you having PTSD”
I tried to explain how I was dissociating constantly and even lost feelings in my legs and couldn’t walk let alone grasp that my body was in fact MINE and that I felt stuck inside my own head and you said “you have it easy, I wish I felt like that”
You constantly reprimanded me about my money, I never could spend it correctly. Despite half my check always going into savings, you constantly would let me know I wasn’t saving properly, I was irresponsible with my money.
You tried to make me throw away my baby blanket and my stuffed animals, told me that it said I wasn’t mature enough. I was childish. And you said “I won’t move out with you if you keep them”
You spent MONTHS yelling at me for registering my cat as an ESA. I can’t even go into the details because there was so fucking much.
you told me you were crushing on another person and it was my fault for not making you feel loved enough to stop you from developing feelings for someone else. Like full blown “I could see myself dating him, having a life with him, he makes my heart race.” YOU emotionally cheated on M E
You told me that you felt like you had won me. I left my ex, my best friend might’ve had a crush on me, but you had “won me”. You told me that you viewed me as a prize.
I’d show him my art and he’d call it mediocre.
I hung out with a friend and he SHOWED UP TO MY HOUSE AND THREATENED TO BEAT SOMEONE UP
Afterwards he demanded that I give him MY tv and my ( recently deceased) guinea pigs cage. When I said no, he claimed I was being childish about this whole thing.
You also blamed me for the fact your mom got mad at you for showing up at my house- considering I had called the cops on you.
For two months I was trapped to your basement, an hour away from family and friends with no license or anywhere to walk too, i was isolated and stuck. You were my only human interaction and you refused to let me go home- kept saying I needed to stop being a baby.
First time you saw me naked you said “it’s a good thing the T will change you otherwise I’d dump you”
You used to create scenarios for me to answer, most being like “if I cheated on you while drunk, would you leave me” or “what if I did just tell you I want to break up right now” and try to see if I’d still “fight for him” and if I’d say anything else he’d go “oh? Do you wouldn’t try and make us work? You’re not putting in as much effort as me?”
We were together for two years and you got over me in two weeks.
You used to belittle me by using my upbringing as a reason for me being beneath you.
Tell me again, “there’s two sides to every story” cause damn would I love to hear your side.
romaincrisis
turnnoffyourmind
yousharknotpass
izzy806