hi, we don't really know where else to mention this, but we hope it will get some conversation going, maybe. we're a system of two, and sometimes being so small makes us feel like we're less valid than the larger systems. but we (i) worry that, if we do split again, it will be more difficult to be taken seriously by basically everyone. we're just worried about everything in general, basically. :( sorry to come into your askbox spewing negativity, you're a great blog.
Hey there anon. Vivi and I started out as a system of two when we first began working together as multiple, so I kind of relate, even if it turned out my system is much bigger. I also know someone else very close to me with a system of two.
Your system is definitely valid no matter the size. Weâve seen systems of anywhere from 2 to 500 members. Each is different and works in its own way, and I think its really neat.Â
And actually, if you do discover new headmates lurking, or if someone else joins in the mix, thatâs entirely normal, too. The people who donât take you seriously when that happens are the people who probably just donât take multiplicity seriously. The whole âoh no what if we arenât taken seriously because we just found 3 fictive headmates in our system over the course of a month â feel comes up for us a lot, and we even have a *~~professional DX~~*  so itâs ok. You arenât alone. But the best way to deal with it, that Iâve found, is really just to let whatâs going to happen, happen, and to do your best to ignore any ignorant hatred that might come your way. Tl;drâUr valid as heck and haters gon hate.
Honestly, I donât have a lot more to add. Itâs funny because a friend of mine just recently told me that their system actually works with another system that only has two members. They said they were called a couplet I think? Iâm not entirely sure but all the same it was really great to find out. I mean, all the systems Iâve had the privilege of befriending have always been really big. But just because youâre small doesnât mean you arenât important. Maybe all your system needs is just the two of you or maybe some day your system will grow. What matters isnât what other people think of you or the way your system functions but that you find your system manageable. You are completely valid and donât you forget it!!
Additionally, I think sometimes we worry about what others think of us because we feel lonely or insecure. In my opinion, all you need is one really good friend and then we begin to feel invincible. Peoples opinions matter less and really all you need is the backing of someone who truly and whole heartedly cares about you. So if anyone ever tells you that you arenât as valid as some other system, they arenât worth your time. You matter just as much and you deserve to be surrounded by people who think you matter. And if you ever need someone to back you up or remind you of that, Iâm always here.
You matter. Your system matters. <3
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