Historiographical Dick Jokes

[winter-wise]

I have never seen anyone fail upwards the way Miles Vorkosigan fails upwards. Captured. Thrown in a basement. By the time they let him out of the basement he had destroyed his enemy's most precious resource and he had an eight foot tall supersoldier wolfgirl situationship.

[d-7th]

Service technicians and hairstylists deserve to get paid a fair liveable wage, their services don't need to be cheaper.

Everyone just needs to be paid a fair and liveable wage so they can afford not to lose their job over car problems or not being able to afford a haircut

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[yesthe-artblog]

Tuor the elf-rizzler vs Turin the elf-fumbler. Choose your fighter

[byjove]

If Sir Kay existed in the modern era, he would be immediately cancelled for beefing with multiple children on Twitter. And losing. The 14 year olds are winning.

[byjove]

Gareth makes a very professional callout post exposing Kay for bullying minors, Perceval doxxes Kay and shows up at his house.

[captainhelion]

Half the Round Table gets cancelled for their take on "Is Sir Kay Ablest for 'By my friend's hand' catch phrase". Bedivere is not one of them, somehow

[tricky-bastard-pokemon]

ok so

everyone knows about this meme, right?

but does anyone else know the woman who made the food? no? time to educate!

This is “Mother Mary”, the owner of Blackberry’s mother.

She made all the cakes for the restaurant while it was open. Chef Gordon Ramsay tried her red velvet cake, and spoke this meme-able line:

He then called Mary over, complimented her food, and gave her a peck on the cheek.

Look how happy she was to hear that!!!

anyways, I hope she has been able to continue her love for baking since the restaurant closed down.

[tasmanianstripes]

For these who don’t know: The restaurant she worked at closed down but she left before that and opened her own bakery, that’s apparently very successful!

She has a youtube channel where she shares recipes and cooking advice!

[the-based-brit]

[anghraine]

Osgiliath was not a suicide mission

Osgiliath was not a suicide mission

Osgiliath was not a suicide mission

Keep reading

[byjove]

the worldwide moose belt

except for Britain and Ireland, where moose do not meese

[captainhelion]

updated Moose Map

[architeuthisducks-blog]

Me Giving a Pressed Conference: our advocacy for the disabled must include the addict, the imperfect victim, those we despise; the right to autonomy and life cannot devolve into a popularity contest

Reporter I Hate (Not Sexual Tension): Does that include all the attendees of the Bored Ape NFT event who went blind

Me: *Blood streaming from my nostrils and eyes* david, it includes everyone

[mythid-cryptid]

can't keep that in the tags

[yokowan]

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

[aropride]

high school movie where the pretty popular girl has a crush on the weird nerd guy and he asks her to the dance and her friends help her get ready by taking off all her makeup and curling her hair and getting her glasses and baggy clothes to wear

[william-shakesfeare]

[Image ID: Tumblr tags reading: She TAKES OUT HER CONTACTS and PUTS ON NEW GLASSES and everyone says OH MY GOD YOUR FACE LOOKS-, -SO GOOD WITH THOSE FRAMES /End ID]

Peer reviewed tags

[beka-tiddalik]

And she dances all night because her feet are more comfortable in flat shoes and there's a moment when one of her fashionable friends or rivals has a "wow I wish that were me" moment

[captainhelion]

Liv Tyler - Maddie Ross 'Never Have I Ever' 2019

[eosphoroz]

Reminder that Anne Rice was always fierce.

(From Anne Rice: Playboy interview, 1993)

[demonpoppyseed]

You're not going to come in and politicize my imagination.

[captainhelion]

#unless ☝️ that little woman at the trailer park was writing pornography of anne's ocs of course lmaoooo - vriskarlmarx

[hungwy]

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

[sabertoothwalrus]

getting a set of 100% linen clothes is actually really problematic and dangerous because it has made me want to throw out every piece of synthetic fabric clothing in my wardrobe and replace it with more linen

[justgarb]

it's me Boy, I'm the linen fabric, speaking to you inside your brain. Listen to me Boy, leave the Plastic, we don't need her! Come with me and play my games. We'll have Minoan times and Lace! do do do do yeahhh. You need me boy your free will is an illusion

[aropride]

(so mad i can’t see straight) Yeah i just don’t think chat gpt is a good classroom tool

[hymnism]

can we remove "biblically accurate" from the general lexicon

[pocket-deer-belly]

Love when leftist types frame their fatphobia as like an anti-capitalist thing. Like yeah you’re really sticking it to mcdonalds i guess

[pocket-deer-belly]

It was really cool and leftist of you to frame the existence of fat people as a sign of societal moral decline what other eugenicist opinions do you agree with