[thelvadams]

people really complaining about rey’s backflip being unrealistic, as if this never happened:

[nezumionice]

I’M CACKLING WHAT THE FUCK HE JUST WENT NYOOM

[feralkwe-deactivated20210912]

ppl take Star Wars far more seriously than it was ever meant to be taken.

[profeminist]

[xslytherin]

Robert Pattinson’s commentary in Twilight is hilarious

[themanicnami]

@orriculum​ 

[fruitsaladchewits-deactivated20]

[nubianoasi]

Productive in what way?

[rubydat98]

Productive as in has friends, does things without their partner, working etc.

[cool-blu3]

Personally fulfilling. That is hugely important

[yeahbumbleby]

head empty just bees buzzing

[blameozpin]

call that a hive mind

[yeahbumbleby]

how dare u be funnier than me 

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[sweetmetaphors]

it is time.

soon the era of pumpkin will fall and the northern winds whisper

peppermint everything

[sigornthenn]

#minter is coming

[champagnemoon]

why everybody be tryna act like they didn’t have a twilight phase

[andhumanslovedstories]

You either had a twilight phase or you had an anti-twilight phase and in either case you invested emotion in twilight, your twilight phase

[peachdoxie]

Miles Morales was instantly relatable in the first 30 seconds of his appearance in Into the Spider-verse when he only sung along to like 28% of the lyrics to Sunflower and just mumbled random syllables to the rest.

[catchymemes]

[thenatsdorf]

Bff’s from the beginning.

[emmeetslawschool]

that baby is making biscuits on that cat. what a role reversal.

[gallusrostromegalus]

So while I was getting my haircut, the lady asked me if I had other plans for the day and I said:

“I’m just going to pick up the boy from daycare and then it’s date night.”

And the lady says “Oh! How old is he?”

“He’s three.”

“Mine too! Where are you registering him for kindergarten it’s such a hassle-”

And that’s when I realized I said “boy” and not “dog” because I always think of Charlie as “good boy” but this slip up has lead to a miscommunication.

The lady is now 6 minutes into a clearly needed rant about how unnecessarily complex shopping for schools is, esp when you have a neurodivergent child, so I can’t just tell her that Charlie is a dog because then she’ll feel awkward for unloading on me and she clearly has enough going on.

So the rest of the haircut became a game of “how much can I say about Charlie without revealing that he is not a human child?” And the answer is “enough to cover a half hour hair appointment, quite possibly several hours worth if I’m specific enough”

[gallusrostromegalus]

“is he very verbal?”

“It really depends on who he’s with. He’s very quiet at he but won’t shut up if he’s at the park or has a friend over.”

“was it hard to potty-train him?”

“he’s adopted, but I was genuinely amazed at how good he already was with hygene and potty stuff.”

“mine’s just obsessed with paw patrol and Frozen, drives me crazy!”

“I imagine. Charlie is colorblind so he’s not as into tv, but he always wants a toy if I take him anywhere with them.”

“oh gosh the toys! And the kids are so rough on them!”

“yeah Charlie can destroy a stuffed animal in about 2 minutes, so I only buy him the really cheap ones.”

“Does he throw tantrums when they break?”

“Not really. It’s meditative, really, taking them apart. He has hysterics if the cat takes his toys though. Runs downstairs and cries at me until I retrieve it because he’s not tall enough to get it out of the cat tree.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

The Very Good Boy in question, Charleston Chew.

(if you want to read more of my much weirder adventures, I have pre-orders for my book on Patreon right now: https://www.patreon.com/gallusrostromegalus )

[krwzprtt]

[gh0stblood-bat]

me 5 minutes into any conversation

[foxthebeekeeper]

A neighbor called and said she saw a swarm on a fire hydrant so I grabbed my bucket and ran there as fast as I could. I dabbed some lemongrass oil on the bottom of it and they walked in. After about 5 minutes I just scooped the rest in and bam! Free bees!

I got the queen on the first scoop too though. Apparently she was a new one because she was piping in there really loudly. This is my first personal swarm catch so honestly I’m not sure if that was supposed to happen or not.

[droct0]

What other website am i going to see posts where the op talks about “bam! Free bees!”

[kittyknowsthings]

@systlin

[epiphanies]

A lot of people see you as a face of what they would call the body positivity movement. But you don’t see yourself that way.

Jameela Jamil on The Daily Show

[novis-canis-deactivated20200504]

Once again its 3am and this washing machine wizard haunts me

[xxtc-96xx]

My parents continuously tell me that my generation’s humour makes no sense and I still refuse to ever explain it to them

[catchymemes]

[everythingfox]

I- what?