Overwatch Characters on the Internet
Genji: A tumblr full of anime gifs mixed with inspirational quotes and “Throwback Thursday” embarrassing pictures of him and Hanzo. He is extremely proficient at technology and social media, and often has to help Zenyatta get all the malware off his computer because he’s too trusting. (”They said I’d won a prize!” “I know master… That was deception.”)
McCree: Posts year old memes on Facebook and has a Youtube channel where he posts reviews of old movie westerns. It has an amazingly awful intro he put together in windows movie maker with star and swipe transitions. He’s very proud he has over fifty subscribers and will thank new subscribers by name at the end of new videos.
Pharah: Has an “official” twitter and Instagram that are all publicity shots for Helix Security International to help with recruitment and advertisement of their services. Occasionally she does online Q&A’s, but it’s all through a handler. Unofficially, she has secret private accounts on just about every platform.
Reaper: Claims he is too cool to have a Facebook. Totally has one. Stalks everyone’s social media relentlessly. Creeps on Morrison’s pics all day. Onetime he accidentally hit “like” on a four year old pic. Reyes undid it super fast, but Morrison still saw it. Reyes claims it was a scare tactic, to put him on edge.
Soldier 76: Moderates a conspiracy theory subreddit. Posts long rants about how people should never accept what “they” are telling you on Facebook. Has a post signature that says “Question The Official Story”. Also likes to post the odd Minion meme and dad joke. Loves to lecture other heroes about their life choices when they post party pics.
Tracer: The most amazing vines and snapchats the world has ever seen. She has never let go of “do it for the vine!” She snaps so much and so fast it’s practically a live stream.
Bastion: There is a tumblr blog called “01101001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110010 01100100 01110011″ that posts beautiful pictures of nature, especially birds. No one knows who runs it.
Hanzo: Runs an instagram with lots of heavily filtered close ups of random objects with captions like “Zen” and “Observe the geometry”. He also posts a lot of dramatically lit selfies with cryptic captions about his inner turmoil. Other than that he yells at Genji to take down his Throwback Thursday pictures and is always online on Thursdays to untag himself.
Junkrat: A Youtube channel full of youtube poops and “prank” videos that are him blowing things up and setting traps. He runs a twitter that is nothing but jokes but he never interacts with anyone on it. He also retweets anti-Omnic posts.
Mei: Has a blog for a travel journal, a Youtube show where she explains science in fun ways, an instagram with a ton of selfies and travel pics. Likes to link to nature documentaries. She always takes time to write back to her young fans that are interested in the environment.
Torbjörn: The classic racist uncle on Facebook. Constantly posting about Omnics stealing jobs, how Omnics are UNNATURAL, how an Omnic tried to argue with him today but he SHUT THAT SCRAPHEAP RIGHT DOWN. Mostly everyone ignores him, but occasionally he and Genji get into a flame war with Zenyatta popping in to say “It’s not worth it, my student…”.
Widowmaker: Has a twitter where she posts long distance creep shots of the other heroes with captions like, “Next time, mon chère…” Honestly, everyone is really skeeved by it.
D.Va: Has an account on every social media platform that are all somehow active constantly. Might have social media help, but it all seems genuine. Basically livestreams her life. When she’s not streaming battles on Twitch, she’s streaming her lunch on Periscope. Other heroes are often weirded out by her filming them constantly. To Hana, nothing is real until it’s online. She is also a memelord and complete gamer trash. Soldier 76 never has any idea what she’s saying. She does a yearly charity lifestream of old school video games that usually raises over a million dollars for victims of the South China Sea Omnic Crisis.
Reinhardt: Loves the internet and thinks technology is amazing! Did you know just last night he ordered a pizza through the internet?! Fantastic! He keeps cracking his phone screens with his iron grip and constantly asks Tracer for help with new terms and apps. Mostly he posts sideways pictures he doesn’t know how to flip and writes encouraging comments to other heroes. His granddaughter, Bridgette, runs a Facebook fan page for him and reads him the nice comments. She films his responses and uploads them for his fans.
Roadhog: Has the pinkest, cutest tumblr you’ve ever seen. Full of gifs Pachimari and pics of his plushie collection. His Facebook is full of long philosophical rants about the nature of man vs Omnic that always end in, “fuck ‘em.” He often shows up standing around in the background of Junkrat’s youtube videos making annoyed sighs. The only video he stars in is one where Junket gets him to do the Haka. It is the most popular video on Junkrat’s channel.
Winston: Winston mostly avoids social media, but he got accounts on everything Mei is on to follow her and like her posts. He likes to hang out on sciencey subreddits, and tries to have a rational, logical discourse until- YOU ARE SO WRONG YOU BLABBERING IDIOT!!1!!1! BILL NYE IS NOT COOLER THAN NIEL DEGRASS TYSON!! RRHSHFHJKFAJHSHJKAF;LHAEWJKAFKJ …Sorry, that was uncalled for.
Zarya: Instagram fitness goddess. Constant work out pics, videos of her doing deadlifts and squats. Bathroom selfies with her shirt pulled up to show off her abs. Pictures of giant meals with captions like “Fuel for the machine!” Her Facebook is full of propaganda posters and rants about how Omnics can’t be trusted, but only on her bad days. Most days she’s posting pictures of her standing next to cars with the caption, “Can I lift this?” Yes, she can.
Lucio: Lucio has profiles everywhere, to promote his music and his fight for social justice and freedom. He writes think pieces for online newspapers about the problems in his home country of Brazil, and the issues they mirror for the world at large. He constantly promotes online fundraisers for people that are having trouble, and surprises his sick fans by showing up at the hospital to throw them a private concert. Through everything he maintains a warm friendly demeanor. People should be free! And you can’t spread freedom through hate.
Mercy: The ultimate Facebook mom. Refuses to accept Facebook isn’t cool anymore. Loves to post those passive aggressive greeting cards. Everyone knows who she’s talking about. She also constantly posts rebuttals on those “New Study Finds Chocolate Will Make You Live Forever and/or Kill You!” posts that circle around. She reads that journal, and this headline is misleading.
Symmetra: Her social media exposure is tightly controlled by the Vishkar Corporation. She does pose for a lot of promotional images, and even has a dummy account that’s ghost written for her on twitter. But she herself is told she has far more important things to do than learn random things on the internet… Still, Satya has a youtube account where she likes videos of traditional Indian dance routines for future inspiration.
Zenyatta: Zenyatta likes every single thing Genji posts, often asking “Is this anime?” He is still getting the hang of cartoon styles. He posts videos with amazing incites into finding inner peace and balance, but they have terrible production values as they are shot on his laptop’s built in webcam. Sometimes people try to troll him, but they come out of the exchange learning something about themselves and growing as a person.
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