[balaclava-trismegistus]

if i dont respond to a message from you i can basically guarantee its not because i dislike you. im just getting attacked by imps and shit all the time genuinely.

[charlesoberonn]

OP I hope you know this is literally a plot point in Homestuck.

[makingtrouble]

It's my cat's birthday (anniversary of me getting him) so I told him the story of his life while petting him real good

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Now you've lived with me for five years. Five is like the number of toe beans on one of your feet. When I clip your nails five is when we're halfway done. But we're hopefully not even halfway done with how long we get to be together. I'm gonna have to figure out new ways to help you count.

[makingtrouble]

Actually I've decided this is a poem

[soup-mother]

Sober as fuck at the back of the club going onto Wikipedia and typing "List of birds"

[modelsof-color]

Chol Mabior at Robert Wun Couture FW 2026

[fairyinthetrees]

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

[simena]

[orpheuslament]

we need to come up with a better term for bootlicking because i personally think licking someone's boots is a beautifully erotic & romantic gesture

[kleefkruid]

saying cats don't contribute to the household is slander: they do have a job and it's going into mystery crevices and collecting all the cobwebs on their stupid little head

[mokopirirakaugalaxias]

the other job is beeping at you

[redstonedust]

nobody numa numas like they used to

[redstonedust]

(wistfully) mai-ia-hee... mai-ia- hoo....

[dragirlinstall]

taking my gamer dog out for a walkthrough

[nick-nonya]

[monidoll]

girl they didnt die they deserted. you're getting like 3 skeletons and a whole lot of roaming bands of bandits!

[niqvassieart]

12-day old corncrake chicks from a local reintroduction project I've been helping with.

[gogeyama]

[1-jar-of-stars]

On Friendship.

[kilncreatures]

forest dogy

[homunculus-argument]

Not book smart or street smart but a secret third thing.

[luckyletd0wn]

supid

[homunculus-argument]

supid.

[salmon-n-hazel]

Dandelions

My print shop: INPRNT