[redlipstickresurrected]

Matty Newton (American, b. Southern CA, USA, based Portland, OR, USA) - Party Pooper, Painting

[girlvasectomy]

just regular men

[stovetop00-deactivated20230907]

We’re winning.

[lilnasxvevo]

I found his bio on societyofpresidentialdescendants.org and it was so delightful I had to copy paste the whole thing:

“Ulysses Grant Dietz grew up in Syracuse, New York, where his Leave it to Beaver life was enlivened by his fascination with vampires, from Bela Lugosi to Barnabas Collins. He studied French at Yale (BA, 1977), and was trained to be a museum curator in the University of Delaware’s Winterthur Program in American Material Culture (MA, 1980). A decorative arts curator at the Newark Museum for thirty-seven years before he retired, Ulysses has never stopped writing for the sheer pleasure of it. Aside from books on Victorian furniture, art pottery, studio ceramics, jewelry, and the White House, Ulysses created the character of Desmond Beckwith in 1988 as his personal response to Anne Rice’s landmark novels. Alyson Books released his first novel, Desmond, in 1998. Vampire in Suburbia, the sequel, appeared in 2012. His most recent novel, Cliffhanger, was released by JMS Books in December 2020.

“Ulysses lives in suburban New Jersey with his husband of 45 years. They have two grown children, adopted in 1996.

“Ulysses is a great-great grandson of Ulysses S. Grant. His late mother, Julia, was the President’s last living great-grandchild; youngest daughter of Ulysses S. Grant III, and granddaughter of the president’s eldest son, Frederick. Every year on April 27 he gives a speech at Grant’s Tomb in New York City. He is also on the board of the U.S. Grant Presidential Library and Museum at Mississippi State University.”

[wakingfromthewater]

And frankly, the novels sound like they slap:

Desmond was nominated for a Lambda Award.

[doctorscienceknowsfandom]

“With his husband of 45 years.” You kids don’t know ... they got together before AIDS, at the peak of the Gay Glam Life. They stayed together as their generation died around them, and made through it to the point where they could marry and have a legal family. He looks like a chipper preppie who never had a serious thought or care in the world, but it took *incredible* determination, commitment, and also luck to get here.

[oidheadh-con-culainn]

having now read the first of this man's vampire books, you can absolutely tell that he cares a lot about historical furniture because oh my god he really wanted to tell us about all the historical furniture in this vampire's house. material culture as foreplay. seduction via theses about chairs

[sgt-celestial]

ms word ms excel and ms powerpoint are all snooty disagreeable ladies who wont speak to me due to my meager dowry but then i meet their beautiful sister ms paint whos clumsy but charming and we fall in beautiful love. and i become mr paint

[wizardarchetypes]

i was opening up the nature center and a little wasp flew by while i unlocked the door so i let him out. then i looked down, and there was a spider, a millipede, and two rollie-pollie bugs waiting at the door and they all walked out in a line like they’d been at a party together overnight.

it’s been two weeks and i can’t stop thinking about it.

[wizardarchetypes]

[hahanken]

i finished mdzs… can’t believe chapter 100 is real

[lanlishiba]

Saw this pic and immediately thought of him

[cringefailprincess]

second of all, he's a very pretty corpse, okay-

[dogtoenail]

[serial-unaliver-deactivated2024]

realistic coworker conversation

[amnesiaguy]

collecting posts of this type

[crazycatsiren]

No no you don't understand! I want to watch this show/movie, read this book, listen to this podcast, etc.! But I must be in the right mindset and the exact head space to begin, or I just can't!

[somethingusefulfromflorida]

I'm not ALLOWED to enjoy it yet, I'm not ALLOWED!!!

[coolfrogdude]

[angelicguy]

me and the boys have a couple of chains wrapped around the sword in the stone hooked up to mikes toyota tundra gonna pull that fucker out like a tooth.

[woman-becomer]

tumblr users love reading. you literally stopped for this post just because it has words in it

[interpolationz]

this is one of my favorite bits about tumblr

the users seem to actually prefer text posts to anything else, and treat it as a chore to play a video especially with sound

[lazzarella]

[homunculus-argument]

Imagine if you knew of a population of semi-wild hamsters that live communally near to where you live. They don't run for their lives and bolt into their nests for safety when they see you, they'll just kind of go "aw fuck there's that guy again" and just kind of lazily trot off - they know you're not really a predator, just an inconvenience. But some of them don't flee from you, they're a bit weird you guess, but those are your favourites. So every once in a while when you've got a task you really don't want to do alone, you can just walk up there, grab a hamster, pop it into your breast pocket and now you've got a little emotional support buddy for the day.

That's Gandalf's relationship with the hobbits.

[homunculus-argument]

In a lot of vampire lore, being bitten by a vampire just once doesn't turn a human into a vampire, but some sort of a thrall, enchanted and seduced by the vampire's alluring ways, to make the victim more pliable and easy to feed from, and only a sufficiently prolonged and deliberate series of bites will turn the human victim into a vampire.

Which is compatible with the theory that italians are the opposite of vampires. While vampires cannot stand the sight of crosses, stepping into a church, or being exposed to garlic or sunlight, and cannot see themselves in a mirror, italians become miserable if they cannot have access to a church, crosses, direct sunlight, garlic, and getting to see themselves in a mirror.

Consequently, sensually biting the neck of an italian may enthrall one, but will not immediately turn you into an italian. But a sufficiently prolonged and deliberate series of bites may get one to marry you, therefore giving you an italian citizenship.

[despazito]