new blog!! carpe-shovel-em.tumblr.com (yes it’s such a creative blog name /s) | i’d recommend not browsing this blog, this is really just still here so my beloved pasta post stays up | srsly my dude go to the new blog | made a new one cause i think i may have gotten shadow banned lmao | still the same stuff on the new one it's still hermitcraft
yes, that title is correct. this is a thing now. i hate my brain but have been convinced not to apologize for my crimes. also credit to zaph, the only scholar in dark pasta studies, for making probably most of these; we will share the burden of responsibility for this. how did we get here, you ask? well, @thatreallyminecraftsmygender put this in the tags of one of their posts the other night:
and because both of us are head empty, only hermitcraft, this post exists. enjoy?
(most hermits under the cut, but first a couple free samples to hook y'all in)
Bdubs: wakes up at in a cold sweat at 3:41 in the morning, realizing that he forgot to make something for the potluck. technically turns the lights on in the kitchen but his eyes keep drifting closed every now and then before he shakes himself awake and keeps stirring the sauce
Cub: makes his pasta in the dark as a power move. also the ritual to do so required all nearby light sources extinguished along with the sacrificial rabbit and the selling of his soul. ...oh, that last part? don’t worry about it, he’s done it tons of times!
Doc: prepares all his food in darkness because he thinks that makes him look intimidating. besides, he can see just fine with his cybernetic eye. (also, cooking in the dark does not make him look intimidating, only stupid)
Etho: grabs some dried lasagne pasta with him as a snack on mining trips and end raids. taking a bite and letting it sit in your mouth for a little so it softens up a bit counts as cooking it, right? it’s molto al dente, he insists, so it’s fine. anyone who witnesses in fear is usually too thrown off by the continued dry pasta consumption and fancy italian term to ask
False: one of those nights where she works until sun comes down and then back up again. it’s late (or is it early??) and she requires some form of sustenance. tiredly shoves a cup of kraft macaroni & cheese in the microwave. stands, waiting, as she tries to blink away the effects of the bright-as-fuck microwave light. attempts to take out the cup a second before the timer finishes, but she’s too late; winces as microwave beeps pierce through the silence for a good moment. stirs in the cheese mix and somehow chugs the thing like a drink in one go. she burns her tongue and tosses cup in the trash, then gets back to work
Grian: yeah, he’s not really sure either. just somehow ended up making pasta in the dark. but whatever is happening, he refuses to lose. he’s too far in now, if he stops to turn on the lights, his pride will be injured
Hypno: simply prefers making pasta in the dark; he just likes it better that way. no reason, really. (one time, one time his bandanna falls into his eyes while he’s eating his noodles, and it apparently happened to be the best pasta he’d ever had in his life. hypno can only hope to someday replicate its spectacular taste. all xb can do upon hearing this story is sigh with exasperation and bury his face in his hands.)
Impulse: pasta made during an in-between base-lighting phase. decided that the sea lanterns weren’t the right look after placing them all down. maybe he shouldn’t have removed all of said sea lanterns first, because the mobs are either coming for him or his food, but once he’s done cooking, he’ll pack it in a tupperware and be on his merry way to make some more farms!
Iskall: no, it’s actually not iskall making pasta right now, it’s iskallMAN!! unfortunately, iskallMAN’s head just slightly obstructs one’s eyesight when they wear it, so yeah... iskall will clean up the mess later, but for now, iskallMAN is busy doing a good deed and will not take off the head until his job is done
Jevin: he just wanted to. don’t question him. (actually, found some fuckin bow-tie noodles in his pocket and took it as an omen. he doesn’t know what time it is, or if time even exists, but the world is pitch-black around him as he puts all his focus and energy in cooking this handful of farfalle as if the fate of the universe depends on it. he thinks it does.)
Joe: does the world still continue to exist whilst unobserved? joe intends to find out. his method also happens to kill two birds with one stone, since he needs to make dinner.
Keralis: he’s too broke to have working lights. on the bright(?) side, all his pots and pans and the countertop and practically everything he owns is made of diamonds! but yeah, he can’t afford lighting at the moment. doesn’t have any money for it
Mumbo: he accidentally stayed up until three working on a project again and now he’s tired and hungry and has a migraine and cannot for the life of him find the goddamn light switch so just let him make his pasta in peace... and darkness.
Ren: jamming out to his music in the kitchen, head bobbing to the beat, eyes shut, fully vibin. oh yeah, his moves are fire, man! the ren-diggity-dog is so smokin’, he can practically smell it! wait, smoke? shit-
Scar: the making of the pasta caused the darkness
Stress: who knows what happened. probably hermit challenges? but right now she’s blindfolded and a bit dizzy as mumbo excitedly times her and iskall yells words of encouragement (interspersed with warnings to please not burn herself). still has no idea what exactly is going on, but laughs wholeheartedly anyway. she wouldn’t trade these stupid moments for the world
Tango: lmao he just thought it’d be fun. got bored in the middle of the night and decided ‘why not?’ doesn’t remember where anything is in his kitchen and ends up somehow salting with garlic powder and other numerous mistakes (still not exactly sure what was in that unmarked jar, but it apparently wasn’t the tomato sauce). the end result is surprisingly not terrible, but... it is definitely not more than the sum of its parts.
TFC: had been doing everything in the dark for the longest time. living underground doesn’t usually lend itself to much natural light. sometimes, when he feel like indulging himself, he makes some ravioli and eats it in the dark. it’s comforting
Beef: the lights just went out in the middle of him cooking some chicken alfredo. just shrugs and keeps going anyway. the moon’s bright enough and he’s done this recipe so many times he could probably make it with his eyes closed
Wels: occasionally likes to cook blindfolded in order to heighten his senses. he prays that no one will ever walk in on him doing it, but whatever. secretly very proud of how good most of these dishes end up tasting, especially the pesto pasta.
xB: he’s making pasta and it just also happens to be dark out. nothing much else to it. his eyes adjust quickly to darkness so he doesn’t give much of a shit
Xisuma: his visor broke and he can’t be bothered to fix it at the moment. also regularly makes pasta ‘in the dark’ in the sense that he is in the dark about making (’good’) pasta. it is technically cooked properly, but he does nothing else with the finished product; doesn’t even salt the water. plates some plain linguine next to his bland, dry chicken breast and eats with immense satisfaction. in his defense, plain pasta is pretty good. let him eat what he wants, it makes him happy
Zed: literally makes pasta in the dark by making spaghetti with squid ink sauce. not unheard of, but this is done in a brightly-lit, sterile environment. why, you may ask? apparently for some kind of experiment. there is a giant stockpile of spaghetti in his possession and he has already also managed to make various other sauces, with ingredients including but not limited to: redstone, void (overworld and end variants), cactus, several different flowers, golden carrots, golden apples, gold nuggets, lapis lazuli, rotten flesh, and slime
Cleo: woke up at 2 am craving pasta. promptly fulfilled her pasta needs and immediately went back to bed. could not fall sleep again. dammit
ah yeah fuck i forgot to make a post earlier but here it is now lol
sooo anyway i moved blogs (at carpe-shovel-em now) cause i think?? i may have gotten shadowbanned and tbh kinda terrible timing cause the fandom’s been a bit ehhh for me lately and i really don’t wanna fall out yet so here we are!
but ye new blog, basically the exact same bullshit, this’ll more than likely be the last post i make on this acct, maybe reblogged once or twice, then we done here
tbh this blog is kinda trash tho anyway; i’m only keepin it up for pasta post my beloved <3
ah yeah fuck i forgot to make a post earlier but here it is now lol
sooo anyway i moved blogs (at carpe-shovel-em now) cause i think?? i may have gotten shadowbanned and tbh kinda terrible timing cause the fandom’s been a bit ehhh for me lately and i really don’t wanna fall out yet so here we are!
but ye new blog, basically the exact same bullshit, this’ll more than likely be the last post i make on this acct, maybe reblogged once or twice, then we done here
tbh this blog is kinda trash tho anyway; i’m only keepin it up for pasta post my beloved <3
ah yeah fuck i forgot to make a post earlier but here it is now lol
sooo anyway i moved blogs (at carpe-shovel-em now) cause i think?? i may have gotten shadowbanned and tbh kinda terrible timing cause the fandom’s been a bit ehhh for me lately and i really don’t wanna fall out yet so here we are!
but ye new blog, basically the exact same bullshit, this’ll more than likely be the last post i make on this acct, maybe reblogged once or twice, then we done here
tbh this blog is kinda trash tho anyway; i’m only keepin it up for pasta post my beloved <3
heyhey this is the same person as carpe-shovelem, just moved to a new blog!
(83% sure i got shadowbanned on the old blog—possibly for a post abt grian?? idk—and it was really gettin to me)
anyways, it’s basically the exact same drill as the previous account, just part 2! (tbh i wouldn‘t recommend going thru the old blog anyway; the only reason i didn’t delete it entirely is because i love my pasta post dearly <3 all the other content there is shite /hj)
i’ll try to tag better on this blog since we’re starting fresh anyway, but no promises; i’m quite lazy, truth be told
so hello again if you’re from the old blog, and welcome if you’ve just found me here :D hope you have a pleasant time!!
No really, I will always favour people who care about each other. Stories that are not about hope, but explore the inherent warmth of existing with other people.
Stories about people who want the best for each other, who dick around, who go out of their way to be kind to each other. Stories about communities based on the idea that everyone is trying their best as well.
In the face of it all, I always find myself engaging with stories about people chosing to care
hello hermitblr and hermitblr-adjacent. i have good news wrt skizzleman and the recent revelations regarding the channels he's subbed to on youtube. read below
i don't have permission to share the details, as much as i wish i could-- but skizz wants to keep his politics as private as possible and i must respect that. but skizz was asked about it, and this is what i think i can share:
skizz does NOT share the awful beliefs of those channels he follows. he is NOT what we feared. he is the person we already thought he was. he and his community are loving and accepting towards all, and his greatest wish is only to make people laugh
i don't know why he is subbed to those channels, but they do not reflect who he is. (i must note that he is subbed to MANY channels without possibly having the time to watch even a fraction of them)
it's ok. we can like him again. hugs for everyone who was heartbroken by this yesterday
This blog will no longer be answering asks related to any non-Hermit creators (former Hermits excluded). After much discussion, this decision was made to prevent multiple potential issues with crossover content on this blog. We hope that this change will help to keep the blog's content more on-topic and create as safe a space as possible for fans of Hermitcraft to share their ideas. If you have any questions or need clarification, our inbox is open, but please be civil and respect this new guideline.
- Mod Shade & Mod Dragon
The ask that initiated this decision is addressed under the cut. While this is not the only reason for the new policy, we feel it is important to acknowledge this issue and let the sender of this ask know that they are being heard.
CW// Discourse, alt-right ideology
I have done my research and verified this information. If anyone else would like to do the same, be my guest.
I am so, so sorry for any discomfort previous posts may have caused to anon or to anyone else. I had absolutely no idea about this beforehand, and I am very disappointed and disturbed to learn this about a person who's content I used to enjoy. Hopefully the new guidelines will help to keep discussions of people who hold these kinds of harmful views off of this blog in the future.
- Mod Shade
I don't have anything to add. My feelings are the same as Shade's. As much as it hurts to know, I'm glad I can work to make this corner of the internet as safe a respite as possible.
