I've Heard It Both Ways

Emma

[wizardpotions]

oh? if i'm an *evil* wizard then why does the king let me skulk around the throne offering bad advice unimpeded?

[ratliker1917]

the fact that pro-monarchy arguments have degenerated, over the past few centuries, from “the king rules by divine right and is accountable to nobody but god”, to “uhm the royals generate a lot of income from tourism” will never stop being extremely funny to me

[ratlicker1917]

the monarchs… bad. but the castles? oh, the castles are positively lush with rats… 👅

[ratliker1917]

Delete this account immediately.

[sagihairius]

thinking about her (friendly’s royal razz drink)

[sagihairius]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[afloweroutofstone]

I'm having Riverdale withdrawals, would you recommend Twin Peaks as a substitute?

This is like someone saying they’re missing the taste of drywall and wondering if they might enjoy a bottle of everclear

[justcatposts]

He pretends like he’s chewing to communicate that he’s hungry! 

(via)

[optimisticbananaharmony-deactiv]

where is his shirt and pants

[milf-adjacent]

Casual Friday

[thebootydiaries]

Parents: why you wanna move so bad

Me: independence

Me in head: gettin a lizard

[reconstructionbaby]

so what do u think about plays

i like how in a theatre time and space are necessarily metaphorical. i don’t like how plays always have to begin with someone walking onstage and talking. too many directors try to work around this by having someone walk onstage and brood in silence for a moment before talking. this is worse. 

[sharp-tender-shock-deactivated2]

If you were directing a play, how would it begin?

[reconstructionbaby]

bagpipes at the back of the auditorium so everyone turns their heads and when they’ve turned back around the play has already begun

[ecology-of-the-inhuman]

[velvetacademia-deactivated20210]

BEE DAGGER !!

[helloitsbees]

[poliploki]

evil kate bush her name is hate bush and she’s going to kate push you down that hill

[memewhore]

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

college professor just said “you’re probably too young to even remember this” and brought up something that happened in 2011

[light-em-up-benzedrine]

Better than my professer that said we’d “probably recognize this from Saturday morning cartoons” then showed us a cartoon from 1935…

[aluminumapples]

New immortal vs. old immortal

[flightless-boy]

reblog if you’re gay and love broadway

[bird-big]

NO. I’m reblogging this post to advertise root beer now

rootbeer.com !!!

rootbeer.com !!!

rootbeer.com !!!

rootbeer.com !!!

If any of you fuckers report me for spam I will kill you with a brick!!!

[flavoracle]

I love the song “Scarborough Fair” because it follows my favorite poetic structure:

Nosy question

Grocery list

Haunting personal information

[garbage-empress]

before i had gotten close with ex-catholics i was under the assumption that "catholic guilt" was mostly about sex, or serious topics.

but i was naïve. it's apparently about every positive experience. enjoying a meal? you're so lucky, children are starving. spending your day off cosy in bed? wow, so selfish, homeless people are freezing to death.

every former or present catholic i've met has a very obvious anxiety disorder and it's so painfully not a coincidence.

[lesbian-toddhoward]

[birdhug]

i cannot stop laughing at send no pee