“Stick a mug on a stove” prompted some images and thoughts which I’ll keep to myself, because I Am Nice.
I’m also wondering what kind of mug could be put on a stove without cracking, because I Am Curious.
For a very long time Americans in general didn’t know how to make a proper Cuppa (a term more specific than you might think) and in general didn’t care, regarding the water temperature of Boston harbour as more than adequate and anything hotter as effete European posturing, probably decadent, potentially sinful and possibly even unAmerican.
The US national hotwet is coffee, with quality that varies wildly from the pleasing products of a good barista or anyone else who Takes An Interest, to the stomach-souring bitterness of free refills from a drip-jug left stewing on its hotplate for far too long.
I’ve sampled the full range, and badly made American coffee is yuck while badly made American tea is just meh. Meh is better, but not by much.
This may be because the US still has no clue about how much difference the difference between “hot water” and “boiling water” actually makes when making a Cuppa - as demonstrated by this review page about The Best (US) Electric Kettles of 2021.
The article goes on about…
“…digital temperature controls, automatic keep-warm functionality, and even water temperature recommendations based on the type of tea you’re drinking.”
…but seems not to get that the Primary Function of any electric kettle is to boil water faster than a kettle on the hob.
Yet for some weird reason the review doesn’t state how long their test water - 1 litre at 55°F - took to boil in a stovetop kettle. This is a serious oversight, since it has far more relevance to the main stovetop vs electric comparison than any amount of “special features”.
The review - I may be reading it wrong - seems to regard electric kettles as unusual, maybe even a bit eccentric. Over here they’re seen as essential to a hot drink as the mug it goes in, and a basic no-extras kettle…
…can cost as little as €7.99, about $9.44. By contrast the cheapest on the review list is $23.60 (€19.97).
Okay, fair enough, US electric kettles running on 110-120v are at a disadvantage compared to EU and UK kettles running on 220-240v, but the review lists two US kettles with a difference in boiling time of of 3 minutes 30 seconds, and that’s just… Let’s say “ridiculous” and leave it there.
Just for fun I did a few tests.
The review’s fastest kettle brought their test water to a boil in 4 minutes 12 seconds, notably slower than what we’re used to here. The slowest was heading for double that, a glacial 7 minutes 42 seconds or nudging eight minutes in old money - yet it’s “still faster than it would take a kettle to boil on most stovetops”.
I’m betting an average stove-top kettle takes generous double figures, since - using saucepans that fitted almost exactly over the rings of our ceramic hob - that 1 litre of 55°F water boiled in 10 minutes 34 seconds (small pan / 1200w ring) and 7 minutes 21 seconds (large pan / 1700w ring).
This is evidently fast for a stove-top, remembering that almost eight minutes was “still faster … than most stovetops”. A gas burner is probably even faster (it heats the kettle directly, rather than by conduction like electric hobs) but I don’t have the facility to test that.
By contrast, our nothing-special no-extra-features (3000w, €38.43 / $45.40) kettle boils the same 1 litre from 55°F in 2 minutes 37 seconds.
(The ultra-basic one shown earlier - 2200w - would do it in about 3 minutes, making the ~5 minutes of far more expensive models in that review look a bit silly.)
The Cosori in the review is closest match to ours, but took ”about 5-and-a-half minutes to boil”. Not so hot. Well, all right, the same 100°C / 212°F hot, but in more than twice the time.
Our kettle’s full capacity is 1.7 litres, but it also has a Single-Mug fill line (either side of that green dot) which is 300ml.
This boiled from 55°F in 45 seconds. Impressive, and also useful if you need some boiling water in a hurry for any reason whatsoever.
The hob boiled 300ml in 3 minutes 53 seconds, our microwave at 800w full power did it in 4 minutes 23 seconds.
A microwave is the last thing I’d use for heating a large amount of water, but for completeness I tried it with the usual 1 litre of 55°F water, where a boil took 15 minutes 32 seconds. Deeply unimpressive.
Funny stuff, tea. For something that can be seen as very bland it prompts passion.
On the first night the girl had brought him tea. Bond had looked at her severely.
“I don’t drink tea. I hate it. It’s mud. Moreover, it’s one of the main reasons for the downfall of the British Empire. Be a good girl and make me some coffee.”
From then on he had got his coffee.
That “downfall of the British Empire” crack suggests that young Fleming was skiving off during both History and Geography lessons, since tea played a large role in British acquisition of India and interference in China.
Here’s a Buzzfeed article called “17 Ways You’re Drinking Your Tea Wrong” which is a farrago of snobbish, condescending mistakes from top to bottom, starting with the title. (It vexed me, can you tell?) I may be drinking YOUR tea wrong, Kate dear, but I’m drinking MY tea just the way I like it. So put MY cup down and back off.
Some Big-Name writers have weighed in on the topic of How To Make A Proper Cup Of Tea: George Orwell; Christopher Hitchens; Douglas Adams - eccentric to the last, he uses Earl Grey for his example; and Neil Gaiman, who has Opinions about Earl Grey which I share. (Lapsang Souchong smokey tea, on the other hand…)
Still, after tea-drinkers in the US gets accustomed to electric kettles, they can move on to more important problems, including The Great Question.
Milk in first, or second?
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