āStick a mug on a stoveā prompted some images and thoughts which Iāll keep to myself, because I Am Nice.
Iām also wondering what kind of mug could be put on a stove without cracking, because I Am Curious.
For a very long time Americans in general didnāt know how to make a proper Cuppa (a term more specific than you might think) and in general didnāt care, regarding the water temperature of Boston harbour as more than adequate and anything hotter as effete European posturing, probably decadent, potentially sinful and possibly even unAmerican.
The US national hotwet is coffee, with quality that varies wildly from the pleasing products of a good barista or anyone else who Takes An Interest, to the stomach-souring bitterness of free refills from a drip-jug left stewing on its hotplate for far too long.
Iāve sampled the full range, and badly made American coffee is yuck while badly made American tea is just meh. Meh is better, but not by much.
This may be because the US still has no clue about how much difference the difference between āhot waterā and āboiling waterā actually makes when making a Cuppa - as demonstrated by thisĀ review page about The Best (US) Electric Kettles of 2021.
The article goes on aboutā¦
āā¦digital temperature controls, automatic keep-warm functionality, and even water temperature recommendations based on the type of tea youāre drinking.ā
ā¦but seems not to get that the Primary Function of any electric kettle is to boil water faster than a kettle on the hob.
Yet for some weird reason the review doesnāt state how long their test water - 1 litre at 55Ā°F - took to boil in a stovetop kettle. This is a serious oversight, since it has far more relevance to the main stovetop vs electric comparison than any amount of āspecial featuresā.
The review - I may be reading it wrong - seems to regard electric kettles as unusual, maybe even a bit eccentric. Over here theyāre seen as essential to a hot drink as the mug it goes in, and a basic no-extras kettleā¦
ā¦can cost as little as ā¬7.99, about $9.44. By contrast the cheapest on the review list is $23.60 (ā¬19.97).
Okay, fair enough, US electric kettles running on 110-120v are at a disadvantage compared to EU and UK kettles running on 220-240v, but the review lists two US kettles with a difference in boiling time of of 3 minutes 30 seconds, and thatās justā¦Ā Letās say āridiculousā and leave it there.
Just for fun I did a few tests.
The reviewās fastest kettle brought their test water to a boil in 4 minutes 12 seconds, notably slower than what weāre used to here. The slowest was heading for double that, a glacial 7 minutes 42 seconds or nudging eight minutes in old money - yet itās āstill faster than it would take a kettle to boil on most stovetopsā.
Iām betting an average stove-top kettle takes generous double figures, since - using saucepans that fitted almost exactly over the rings of our ceramic hob - that 1 litre of 55Ā°F water boiled in 10 minutes 34 seconds (small pan / 1200w ring) and 7 minutes 21 seconds (large pan / 1700w ring).
This is evidently fast for a stove-top, remembering that almost eight minutes was āstill faster ā¦ than most stovetopsā. A gas burner is probably even faster (it heats the kettle directly, rather than by conduction like electric hobs) but I donāt have the facility to test that.
By contrast, our nothing-special no-extra-features (3000w, ā¬38.43 / $45.40) kettle boils the same 1 litre from 55Ā°F in 2 minutes 37 seconds.
(The ultra-basic one shown earlier - 2200w - would do it in about 3 minutes, making the ~5 minutes of far more expensive models in that review look a bit silly.)
The Cosori in the review is closest match to ours, but took āabout 5-and-a-half minutes to boilā. Not so hot. Well, all right, the same 100Ā°C / 212Ā°F hot, but in more than twice the time.
Our kettleās full capacity is 1.7 litres, but it also has a Single-Mug fill line (either side of that green dot) which is 300ml.
This boiled from 55Ā°F in 45 seconds. Impressive, and also useful if you need some boiling water in a hurry for any reason whatsoever.
The hob boiled 300ml in 3 minutes 53 seconds, our microwave at 800w full power did it in 4 minutes 23 seconds.
A microwave is the last thing Iād use for heating a large amount of water, but for completeness I tried it with the usual 1 litre of 55Ā°F water, where a boil took 15 minutes 32 seconds. Deeply unimpressive.
Funny stuff, tea. For something that can be seen as very bland it prompts passion.
On the first night the girl had brought him tea. Bond had looked at her severely.
āI donāt drink tea. I hate it. Itās mud. Moreover, itās one of the main reasons for the downfall of the British Empire. Be a good girl and make me some coffee.ā
From then on he had got his coffee.
That ādownfall of the British Empireā crack suggests that young Fleming was skiving off during both History and Geography lessons, since tea played a large role in British acquisition of India and interference in China.
Hereās a Buzzfeed article called ā17 Ways Youāre Drinking Your Tea Wrongā which is a farrago of snobbish, condescending mistakes from top to bottom, starting with the title. (It vexed me, can you tell?) I may be drinking YOUR tea wrong, Kate dear, but Iām drinking MY tea just the way I like it. So put MY cup down and back off.
Some Big-Name writers have weighed in on the topic of How To Make A Proper Cup Of Tea: George Orwell; Christopher Hitchens; Douglas Adams - eccentric to the last, he uses Earl Grey for his example; and Neil Gaiman, who has Opinions about Earl Grey which I share. (Lapsang Souchong smokey tea, on the other handā¦)
Still, after tea-drinkers in the US gets accustomed to electric kettles, they can move on to more important problems, including The Great Question.
Milk in first, or second?
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