Nowhere Left For Us To Go But Heaven.

[elliot-amy]

[moonachilles]

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

[nitewrighter]

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

[theonlycabbage]

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

[should-be-sleeping]

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

[should-be-sleeping]

I kept it in a terrarium and it became a normal 🐸 despite everything. About a year afterward (I thought) it died, so I sadly put it in a shoebox in the shed until the ground thawed enough for a proper funeral but when that day came I opened the box and the frog was fine.

[justprettygay]

[should-be-sleeping]

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

[should-be-sleeping]

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

[seleniumtest]

what's for dinner?

soup

beef

bowl of cereal

Voting ended onFeb 3, 2024

[star-mom-selkie]

[two-thirtyy]

Where do you see yourself in 5 years?

Look buddy, i’m just trying to make it to Friday.

[taykoutmccleod]

reblog if its friday and you made it

[trixic-frankenman-deactivated20]

[despazito]

[newyorkkiss]

girl on club dancefloor has her feet cooled by a friend pouring smirnoff ice over them (2000)

[2000three]

Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet

[recovery-equals-happiness-deact]

[queen-of-hobgobblers]

[cybercrimer]

[ruinedchildhood]

[cutest-silly-nb]

inside me there are two lungs. and one liver. one stomach. a few meters of intestine. there's a lot inside me actually

[cutest-silly-nb]

this is the funniest thing i've read all day

[stromcuzewon]

haven't been to a mooseheads game in person for over a year and apparently they made some changes to the arena.... the main one being a gigantic moose bust that flashes red eyes and shoots smoke out it's nose when we score

[stromcuzewon]

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

[stromcuzewon]

THE GREAT MOOSE HAS DECLARED A POWER PLAY

[randomencounters]

Encounter: junior league hockey god

[darkcomedies]

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

[darkcomedies]

a belated delicious national spaghetti day to you all

[correctopinionhaver]

[vegetavegetason]

[arachnopus]

[grootficguy]

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

[rubensmuse]

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie

[sans-guy-deactivated20251217]

hey guys i'm going to the store can u make sure nothing happens to my chocolate milk

[sans-guy-deactivated20251217]

[junkfoodcinemas]

JASON X (2001) dir. James Isaac