this is a weird place to be.

50% cat lady, 60% filled with coffee, 70% spite and 100% bad at math.

[unclefather]

[unclefather]

[hydro-homies]

Wayne Bruce, The ManBat

[blackwoolncrown]

It’s funny that we use skeletons as symbols of core human anatomy when our bones are just the scaffolding for something else.

[blackwoolncrown]

behold

a human without its suit or fuel system

[womenintheirwebs-archived]

autonomous spagetts

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

reasons that i was going 9 mph over the speed limit today: the lumberjack in the big red chevy truck behind me on this double-lined road was in a hurry and also was using a slightly more powerful bluetooth radio to play his music, but he was using the same frequency that i use, and he was just playing Party In The Usa on repeat, so every time he caught up to me my music started fading out and “i pUT MY HANDS UP THEY’RE PLAYIN MY SONG” started blaring from my speakers and i was justly running for my fucking life

[screenshotsofdespair]

[ornamentalcabbage]

me slowly rolling over in bed every 10 minutes while i scroll my phone

[writterings]

we’re getting into BOOKS again, kids. we’re out here reading BOOKS. it doesn’t matter if it’s YA lit or elementary school readers or “”great classic”” novels or comic books or even creative non-fiction. we’re reading BOOKS and we’re having FUN with it. 

[soontodisappear-deactivated2020]

Is this a threat?

[writterings]

yeah

[tsotea-deactivated20210727]

happy april fools. please take this egg

hahahahahha………………..

youve been fooled………………by the april fools beeper……………..it was a fully grown bird the entire time…..no egg………………it tells u it hopes u hav a good april 1st

[dunsparce]

The duality of man

[apardonablemonomania-deactivate]

[thoodleoo]

me: okay i’ve complained enough about this it’s time to put it to rest

me five minutes later: actually you know what-

[whitepeopletwitter]

[gymleaderspence]

https://youtu.be/bkJSq_m2rqc

[idek-anymore46]

If kinetic energy can be converted to thermal energy, how hard do I need to slap a chicken to cook it?

[dino-spine]

[lovelyardie]

BUENOS DIAS MARIO

[catchymemes]

How deep does the hole go?

Art by Penzilla

[assgod]

I know a hole that’s deeper

[taykoutmccleod-deactivated20200]

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

as a bisexual, some of the shit y’all try to claim is “bi erasure” is just fucking BANANAS 

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

I AM ON THE FLOOR

[hyper-lesbian]

They’ve struggled so much to get this one sentence out and I feel really bad

[owlgoddess24]

You forgot the best addition

[rcktpwr]

whole foods employee catches me stealing valuable artichoke water and tries to apprehend me but i quickly jump through one of his gauges and escape

[tunajorts]

i see this post maybe once or twice in a year and every time. every goddamn time it sidelines me with those last 8 words and i lose my shit

[mxnrique]

SNL - Cut for Time: My Little Step Children

WHY WOULD THEY CUT THIS?????

[proto-homo]

This is legiterally the funniest thing snl has done in decades