Cece Alex Noel

Angry, Black Feminist Lesbian. I blog about Epilepsy (I have Epilepsy) and Black Mental Health. I'm also a writer and artist. I'm a Mental Health in Psychology Postgraduate student.

[cecealex]

The Lockdown from an Isolated Perspective

The Lockdown from an Isolated Perspective

The coronavirus pandemic currently has the UK (and most of the world) in lockdown, social isolation and for some, quarantine. 

It seems that everybody is struggling. For those of us with disabilities and chronic health conditions however, it feels like the last straw after a lifetime of setbacks and intermittent isolation when health takes a turn for the worse. 

I have focal onset temporal…

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[cecealex]

I'm Not Your Cardboard Cutout

I’m Not Your Cardboard Cutout

In light of the conversations around racism that are happening in the context of George Floyd’s murder by police in Minnesota, Shukri Abdi’s murder by her white classmates in Bury, UK, the disproportionate amount of COVID-19 related deaths in the UK within the ‘BAME’ community and the government’s total lack of regard for this, the murder of Belly Mujinga by a corona-infected white man, the…

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[cecealex]

"How is she?"

“How is she?”

“How is she?”

I ask.

Your tone changes,

like I’ve asked you to

cover up a sin for me

like murder, armed robbery.

“Fine”, you reply,

so curtly like a begrudging consent.

Our family of three

became a train splitting in three,

to continue on separate tracks

as single units

speeding into three different directions,

carrying our own cargo

like freight…

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[cecealex]

The Scent of Betrayal

The Scent of Betrayal

James got out of the car and as he slammed the door shut, it was then that he saw a bunch of sunflowers on the doorstep of his house. He clenched his fists until he could feel his fingernails digging into his palms and he glowered at them, as they rested on the doorstep outside the front door, like a polite but very much unwelcomed trespasser waiting to be invited into his house. He looked…

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[cecealex]

New Years in Vienna

New Years in Vienna

Now that I’ve finally finished my module and have a couple of weeks off, I can FINALLY write a post about my new year’s in Vienna!

We spent our stay at the Vienna Inn Apartments, which we found on booking.com. Unfortunately it wasn’t the best place we’ve ever stayed, however, the location was perfect and it was good enough to lay our heads down for a couple of nights.

I’ll start with NYE,…

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[cecealex]

As lovely as my nails look, you can actually see how puffy my eyes are. This week has been hell mentally, emotionally and physically. It always feels like I’m taking one step forward then two steps back. Just when I think I’m improving mentally, I suffer a bout of anxiety which of course affects me physically. I end up crying from the pain I feel physically and mentally. It’s so difficult to switch my brain off that I end up napping through the day as opposed to sleeping during the night. And then the seizures begin. I dragged myself to a gig last night nowhere near recovery because I was desperate to get out of the house. I got my nails done today because I just needed to do something nice for my body. I have to believe that there will be better days. I can not afford to not believe anymore. I can not afford to not have anything to live for anymore. Just taking it one step at a time #mentalhealth #chronicillness #scaredforthefuture #scaredfortoday #scaredfortomorrow #hopeful https://www.instagram.com/p/BtBCT4QHZdU/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1ngzzzo09o559

[cecealex]

Happy New Year! Happy New Gigging!

Happy New Year! Happy New Gigging!

First post of the year!

Sincerest apologies for the lack of blogging.

Since the new year chimed in I’ve been incredibly poorly and trying really hard to get better, whilst battling seizures and juggling assignments and volunteering. Have I mentioned how much I hate winter? Like seriously, I feel like every winter I age another ten years. Earlier this week during my therapy session, we…

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[cecealex]

#dailycalm #mindfullness #socialmedia #mindfulliving https://www.instagram.com/p/BssgprPHXPC/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1q6wywuzyv1sb

[cecealex]

“It’s Because of Their Mental Health Issues” - Labelling and Stigma

“It’s Because of Their Mental Health Issues” – Labelling and Stigma

Image Source 

This might be a controversial post for some, however it’s a question I often ask myself when I look at the people around me, observing their behaviour and the way they interact with the world around them.

So the question is:

How far can somebody go with using their mental health issues as an excuse for being abusive towards others?

In other words, can you excuse somebody hurting…

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[cecealex]

It's the Most Wonderfully Difficult Time of the Year

It’s the Most Wonderfully Difficult Time of the Year

Christmas has been extremely difficult for me.

Filled with sadness, anger, violence, disappointment, and desperation.

This year I spent it with my girlfriend, just the two of us in our flat.

My fourth Xmas without my mother and sister. I tried really hard to get into the spirit of it all, wrapping presents, spending more than I could afford on food to cook a great (vegan) Xmas dinner, decorating the…

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[cecealex]

@hannah.computer just found this dusty old bottle of German wine! Dusty bottles of wine is the sign of being a middle-class grown up right? 😂 #grownups #immoregrownupthanyou #christmaswine #germanwine #dustanyonedust https://www.instagram.com/p/BrtW23Dg85x/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=gskl4kjzonmx

[cecealex]

Friendships: Scared to Get Close

Friendships: Scared to Get Close

Hiiiiiiii!

I’m extremely happy; yesterday I met up with a friend for coffee and each time we see each other, it’s just fun and chilled and time just flies. I can be myself; I can struggle to get out of bed because I haven’t had a good night’s sleep, or my joints and muscles are aching, I’m feeling lethargic from the side-effects of my medication, but it feels worth the struggle; I don’t have…

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[cecealex]

The best thing about living with your gf is stealing her clothes! Love this jumper 💕💕💕💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/BrnnY1gH6m-/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=a8f3ozy40n7z

[cecealex]

My girlfriend got class as well as a fine ass! https://www.instagram.com/p/BrlYu1yHlAG/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=hey02747zmlg

[cecealex]

Razorlight Gig: Reliving My Youth

Last Friday I went to see Razorlight at the O2 Kentish Town Forum.

I actually bought the ticket while drunk in an Uber months ago (lol) and when I saw it coming up in the calendar, I was like hmmmm this might have been a mistake…

This year has been a big year of musical reminiscence. There are many bands I’ve loved since my adolescence but could never afford to see them live at their peak. That…

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[cecealex]

Constantly Ill and Constantly Sick

Constantly Ill and Constantly Sick

Howdy! 

I’m sick again, twice now in as many months. Last time it was the flu and now it’s (thankfully just) a cold. 

When I was younger, I used to love winter; I’m a homebody who loves curling up on the sofa with a blanket to watch as many films as I can in one night. I also preferred the winter season to summer because it was a relief from the hayfever I’m tormented by in summer. However,…

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[cecealex]

Raising Money for Shelter

Tonight I’m doing the Night Walk in London to raise money for Shelter. 

This is an incredible charity that I’ve been following and supporting for a number of years and now, I’m finally able to do something more than sign online petitions for government reform and recognition for the marginalised. 

With unfair private renting, more and more of us suffering from ill mental health, and the…

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