Ask Cecelia

Want someone to listen? Just wanna rant? Perhaps you want some advice? Cecelia's here to listen, so speak your mind

[cecelia-listens]

Been a while my lovelies!

It's been over half a year since I last posted! Time sure flies, doesn't it? Already 2014! Happy New Year to everyone <3

An update on my current situation: I've been diligently working at my job and loving it. However, being that I work grave shift, it's also very exhausting, hence my long haitus. I'm finally feeling more like myself, despite the vampiric sleeping tenancies, so I'm going to try and get back into replying..

Now I can't promise anything, if you work, you know how hard it is to judge how tired you'll be from day to day. And, even if you don't work, I'm sure you all understand if I can't reply everyday. 

So, let's take this slowly.. I've been reading as many of the posts that I still get; understandably much less than I used to have ^^; 

As always feel free to send me asks, notes, whatever! I will do my best to reply. I'm going answer to a minimum of 5 asks/notes a day, but that's just a minimum! I'll reply to more if I'm able to handle it. Now, if it's urgent and you really need a reply, send me an email. I will post the reply(anon or non-anon) and it doesn't count as part of my minimum 5. 

Thank you all for your patience my dears! I hope you'll continue to be patient with me as I try to get back into the flow of things. I really missed you all!

Remember, I'm always here for you!

Love, 

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

I'm so sorry!

To all those who have been waiting for my replies, I sincerely apologize!!

Unfortunately, I have been so busy with family and looking for a job that while I have been working on replies, I feel like I haven't been putting all my heart in it as I should and I don't want to put up half-hearted replies!

So as much as I hate to say it, I have to stop posting on my advice blog until I manage to secure a job. I'm terribly sorry that I can't post my replies, but I really don't want to put something up that isn't done with my full attention and heart. 

I'm working hard to get a job, and once I start, I'll have free time after work to actually post since I won't be looking and searching for a job ^^; 

If I'm able to, I'll try to post up some replies here and there, but for now, I have to postpone my posting.

You are always welcome to send me messages, asks or whatever, to here or my email. To rant, ask questions, and I will read it and try to reply, but I'm afraid I can't securely say I can put them up in a timely manner. 

I do hope to return as soon as possible! I'm so sorry everyone, I hope you forgive me and understand my situation :( I'm always here for you! In spirit I will support you all, though I can't post a reply! I read all my asks and submits!

Stay strong lovely ones!!

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

I'm back from my vacation!

Hey there lovely ones :)

I'm finally back from my 2 week road trip! It was a lot of fun and I got to spend time with my boyfriend which was really awesome ^^ I'm still recovering from the long drive, but I'm just not getting to read a lot of the asks I got since I had like no internet access while away ^^; It'll take me a few days to answer them all but I will update as I can! Thank you all for your patience<3

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

Please reply I keep having anxiety attacks and don't know what to do. I have done so much damage to my relationship... I can't stop thinking about it...

I have limited internet access right now so I'm afraid I can't give you a full answer. Shoot me an email or txt me and I'll try to reply asap. 

For now, take some deep breaths, close your eyes and think of something that makes you happy. I know it's tough right now but it'll be okay in the end :) I'm sorry I can't give you a full reply right now! I'm away on a trip. but emailing me or txting me will allow me to talk to you a little more about it. But right now, I'm afraid my internet is very limited and on a time basis so I can't reply fully

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

End of queued replies

This is the end of my queued replies lovelies~ 

Again, I'm away on a roadtrip and will read my asks but will be unable to reply, unless it's very urgent. Also, you can email or text me if you really need me. Email will get a faster reply, though it might be short, than tumblr, and txt will get you a fast response, unless I am driving!

Stay strong dear ones! I'm always here for you.

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

There's this guy. I like him a lot and can't see my life without him, but the thing is that I don't want to date him. I'm not sure why and he keeps asking me why I don't want to and I don't even have the answer to that question. What do you think it means when you honestly think you love someone and want to kiss them, but you just don't want a relationship? I feel like a player or something....

I think it might be that you’re just not ready for that right now. 

Sometimes we can love and want to be with someone, but commitment is harder than that. It requires a lot of dedication, and it can be very scary since it means being vulnerable and opening up to them all the different parts of you. Not everyone can handle that right away. 

So for you, you love him, but right now you’re just not ready for that kind of seriousness. It doesn’t make you a player, it just means you need time to adjust and get ready for that kind of commitment and seriousness. Now I’m not saying it’s a bad thing or anything, and I’m sure once you’re ready, you’ll know it. Or at least feel like it’s something that you kind of want to do.

Talk to him about that. Let him know you don’t think you’re ready just yet. That you do really love him, but right now, the time is not right and you need more time. You can go on dates and be with each other, but let yourself build up to a relationship together. And be open about it with him. It’ll be the first steps to helping you get to that point.

That’s my thought on it. not sure how much it helps, but it will give you something to think about! I hope it helps a little. Try not too feel bad okay? Because it’s not bad. Go at your own pace. I’m here if you need to talk to me again! Stay strong and best of luck to you

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

Hi sorry I was the one who asked about making the first move. I meant more along the lines of holding hands or kissing. Do you have any advice for that? Haha thanks

ah! No worries sweetheart ^^

Hmm, well, as cheesy as it seems, things like movies or walking around together are great times to try to hold hands :) Lean in closer and just..tentatively touch his fingers and if he doesn’t seem opposed(which he shouldn’t!) then go for it! Or you could even just reach out and take his hand with a smile. It’s all dependent on how bold you want to be with it and what you’re comfortable doing. You’ll find more opportunities by staying in close proximity to him of course.

As for kissing, this is best done when it’s you two. It can be on a date or just hanging out. But leaning in close when you’re hanging out/together, smiling and looking into his eyes. Even letting your eyes linger on his lips will hint to him what you want to do. You could also either ask him about it, or just slowly move closer and just kiss him. 

I’m not the best for giving advice on this stuff since if I want to hold the guy I like/am with’s hand, or kiss them, I go for it after hinting a little. If they don’t want it, they’ll stop me. Just go with what feels best for you. Don’t rush it and go at your own pace. 

Not sure how much this helps, but I hope it does a little! You’ll figure it out, I know you will! Best of luck to you :)

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

There's this guy, he lives 15 minutes away and he's in my brothers band, he's so incredibly sweet to me and we've even fallen asleep together before, he's everything I want but Idk if he feels the same way? I catch him looking at me and all together so nice, I don't know how to approach that also because I'm shy, and worried because I'm overweight (that's my huge setback). He's so amazing, how do I know / or get him to feel the same? thanks :)

Hello my dear anonnie ^^ it seems to me there is something there! But you can’t know for sure without talking to him.

I would honestly say just continue to spend more time with him, get to know him better, and get a little more comfortable with him. I know it’s hard when you’re shy, but try to talk to him about it sometime when it’s just you two. Be honest about your nervousness and your feelings for him. You can observe him and how he treats you vs other girls to try and see what he feels, but only by talking with him will you know. 

and sweetheart, don’t worry about your weight. You are a beautiful person, who is special and unique and one of a kind! If he truly cares for you, it should be for who you are and your weight shouldn’t matter to him. He should see you as beautiful inside, and out, no matter what. You deserve someone like that. 

So really, have confidence in yourself and love yourself. Get to know him more and then try talking to him :) I know you can do it! It’ll be hard to do, and a little uncomfortable to approach him about it, but you never know until you go for it. Keep an open mind about it and know if things don’t work out with him, there’s someone out there who deserves you. And if things do work out with him, that’s wonderful! ^^

I hope this helps a little my dear :) I’m here if you need to talk again. Stay strong and best of luck

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's hard to deal with this kind of things and I honestly am not sure what I can say advice wise, but I'll do my best to let you know what I think and what I think you could do.

First, talk to him in person, one on one. Rumors are not always true, and you can't know what is the truth unless you find it out from him. Even if it hurts, and even if it's really true, at least you won't be left wondering you know? 

And when you talk to him, tell him how you feel. How everything is making you feel. How much you care about him, both romantically but also as a friend. Show him you care. Because it's obvious to me you do care for him. If he's truly a friend worth being your friend, he will be willing to hear you out and this should not be something that will end your friendship. Be honest with him. About what you've heard too. And make sure you tell him to tell you what is the truth even if it hurts. It's worse to hear lies. 

I know it's scary. and I know it'll hurt if it's true. But stay strong sweetheart. He may not be making the best choices, if the rumors are true, but you still care for him. You know who he is as a person, you probably know him on a much deeper level than any of the friends with benefits, if there are any. Just make sure you keep an open mind about things. 

It's hard to have these kinds of feelings, I know. But don't be afraid to tell him and let him know how things are. Maybe he needs that push, that honesty from someone who really cares about him. And do be strong on the topic of being friends with benefits. Show that it's not just the benefits that really bring you back, but your friendship. 

I don't know how much this helps, and I know it's a little scattered ^^; but I did my best! and I hope it helps a little. I'm here if you ever need to talk again. Stay strong my dear. And best of luck to you!

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

im 18 an used to cut i stopped now i have scars on my wrist, i try to cover them up with bracelets and it usually works but the other night i was at my friends house and she had some guy friends over and one of them noticed my scars he was really nice throughou the night and we were flirting but when he saw my scars he looked really shocked. i pulled my knees to my chest and was quiet the rest of the night i am so embarres and feel really weak and dont know if he thinks im a mess. i feel stupid

Oh sweetheart, don’t feel stupid! Those scars signify a hard time in your life that you have now passed. Don’t be ashamed of them. Everyone goes through hard times and deals with them in different ways. You are beautiful with all your good parts and all your flaws. Your past has helped you get to where you are now because you didn’t let it keep you back. I’m proud of you.

You know, he can think what he wants. He doesn’t know the real you, and if he didn’t think to ask to see your story if you were willing to tell instead of just thinking things, what he thinks does not matter. And if he did hear your story if you told him and still judged you, he is not worth your time. If he likes you, it should be for who you are, no matter what your past is. 

You are strong. You got through a hard time. You made it love! Be proud of yourself. It’s hard to stop cutting once you’ve started. So please don’t feel bad or embarrassed, at least try not to. You are beautiful. And you deserve someone who will see that beauty, inside and out.

Love,

Cecelia<3 

[cecelia-listens]

Queued replies

In 5 minute intervals after this queued post, queued replies will be posted :)

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

Going offline

Hello sweethearts :)

I'm getting off for tonight! I do have a few asks left to answer, and I will queue them for tomorrow, but after those have been posted, I will be mia unless I'm urgently needed. 

I always do check my asks so please never hesitate to contact me if you need me. I'm always here for you lovelies!

Stay strong my dears

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

Announcement!

Hello my dears!

I'm going on a road trip with my best friend for about 2 weeks, starting tomorrow. So during this time, I will not be replying to my asks! Think of it as a mini-vacation/haitus for me.

I will be reading any asks I get, but won't be able to reply as we'll likely be on the move half the time with limited internet access at hotel we'll be staying at. 

I just wanted to let you all know that I will be basically gone for a while. So if you want to immediately get a reply, email me or text me if it's urgent. If you're willing to wait for a reply, then just shoot me an ask. Regardless honestly, you are all always welcome to send me an ask or submit. I'll just be mia for a while and will reply once I'm back. 

Thank you all for understanding and I will see you all in about 2 weeks! 

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

im in love with a 26 year old. what makes it worse is he's a manager. people sit there and go its a fling. youll get over it or they loook at me and go oh the disgusting why would you like him. im 16. and he might be moving to america a the end of the year. i dont want him to go before i get a chance to be with him. we talk every night/day,we snapchat.i really cant go a day without thinking about him. he makes me happy. what should i do? help me. it makes me depressed thinking he's nearly gone..

I’m so sorry that he might be leaving :( I know it’s hard, but distance does not mean that things will end. 

So first, while you are a little young right now, when you like someone you like someone. Love is love, and later in life, 10 years isn’t that bad honestly. So it’s wrong for people to say that it’s a fling, for your feelings are very real to you. Just know that because you are young, many things can happen in your life so try to keep an open mind about the possibilities life can bring. You may end up with him, or life may take you somewhere else. But right now, cherish the love you have. It it precious and no other love will be like it. 

That being said, I don’t know where you’re from so I don’t know the law’s there. So honestly, despite the age gap, be with him. Just know where to draw the line. Spend time with him, just don’t go to far okay? Be safe always. and don’t make any rash decisions. You do have a lot more in life ahead so keep that in mind. 

And you know, even if you’re not with him physically, it seems to me that you are “together” from how you talk all the time. If he doesn’t know how you feel or that you want to date or whatever, tell him. Talk to him in person if possible, or over whatever way you talk to him. Let him know exactly what you’re feeling. And even if he does move, long distance relationships are not impossible to maintain. They’re hard but if there is trust and communication, they are possible to keep and thrive. So try not to get depressed, even if he’s far away, he’s always with you in your heart and you have ways to talking over the internet. Though, do talk to him about things okay?

Also, I don’t know how long you’ve known him, but do be careful. Make sure you actually really do know him and don’t let your love blind you. Be observant and really see who he is. Keep an open mind about things.

I don’t know how much this helps, but I hope it helps you a little. Love is precious and distance is not always something that ends it. Stay strong sweetheart! I’m here if you need to talk again and best of luck to you

Love,

Cecelia

[cecelia-listens]

i like this guy ALOT. we had a thing for a year but then he started dating his ex again.. we havent talked in a while and last time we talked it wasnt so good. basically he was saying that as much as he likes me he puts his ex before anyone and know im pretty sure they already broke up again. i want to text him and talk and make things better but i think it will be really weird and idk what to even say to him. i just want things to be how they were. what should i do??

First off my dear anonnie, when you say “the way they were” do you mean when you two had a thing before? Or your friendship? 

If you mean when you two had a thing before, I’m afraid I can’t give you any advice on how to get it back to that. If he’s made his choice and he chooses to put his ex first because he cares about her that much, that is his choice. And you have to respect his decision. 

But if you mean friendship, then talking to him about it and how you just want to be friends like you used to is the best thing you can do. And I don’t mean texting, or online, but in person. I find that talking in person is the best since you have to talk and listen. You just have to keep an open mind and say your part, but also let him talk too. But if you think this isn’t an option, you can do the same for texting or online even if it’ll be weird. It’s better to be honest and try something rather than just sit there hoping your friendship returns.

No matter what it is, respect what he has to say, and he should also as well. Whatever he chooses in the end is up to him and if you can handle it, continue to show you care for him as a friend and you really never know what will happen in the long run. I’m sorry I can’t tell you exactly how to makes things how they used to be, but the past is the past and honestly, once something has passed, it can never really return to exactly how it was before. Things move forward and always will. 

I hope this helps you a little my dear! I’m sorry it’s not too much but it should give you something to think about. I’m here if you need to talk again. Stay strong sweetheart and best of luck to you

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

How do I make the first move with a guy? When and how? I'm pretty sure we both like each other. Because I'm pretty sure we flirt a lot. Help?

Well dear anonnie, seeing as you flirt a lot, you could just invite him to a date or hand out over the weekend just you two during one of the times you’re flirting our hanging out at school or something :) All it takes is for you to take that first step and just talking to him directly about doing something together that isn’t just flirting.

Be confident in yourself :) Feel for a time when you feel comfortable or when the opportunity strikes and just go for it! Ask him out to the movies over the weekend, or something else! I can’t tell you exactly when or how, besides just feeling for when you’re able to. Just be yourself and go for it!  Since you flirt a lot, it shouldn’t be too hard to be forward about this. You’ll figure out exactly what to do, after all you know yourself and him more than I do haha

I hope this helps a little my dear :) Keep your chin up and best of luck to you

Love,

Cecelia<3

[cecelia-listens]

Hi, I'm not sure if you answer questions like this, but basically I'm 16 and a virgin. I've been experimenting with masturbation but when I try to finger myself it is really painful and I have to take my finger out straight away because of the pain, is my vagina too small or is it just because I'm a virgin still?

Hello sweetheart :) 

If you’ve never really done anything before masturbating wise, it is possible right now you’re just very.. tight that even a finger is too much to handle right now. Also! If you’re not very wet and/or don’t have lube to lubricate yourself with, it might play a factor for why it’s painful. 

If, after you’ve attempted to masturbate a few times now and are not dry, and it still hurts a lot, then I would say you might want to try and talk to your doctor about it. I’m not trying to scare you, but there’s a possibility you might have Dyspareunia. However, this is pretty rare in females so I wouldn’t worry about it too much. Just do talk to your doctor if it still hurts after doing it a multiple times. 

For now, I would say just take it slow and make sure you use lube if you’re naturally not that wet when you try since that can play a factor with it. It can be painful when it’s new for you, but it’s supposed to not be painful after being repeated and your vagina stretches out a little. Do only what you can handle, but try if it’s not too painful, to push forward a little. You could try applying lube and slowly inserting your finger a little to where it starts to hurt, letting it sit there and let your body adjust to it and continue from there. But if it’s too painful, stop. 

I haven’t gotten too many questions like this, but I do have experience when it comes to these kinds of topics and some background medical knowledge/common knowledge, so I’m open to talking about it! If you want to talk more, please do contact me ^^ Keep your chin up my dear, and best of luck to you! I hope it doesn’t hurt for you anymore!

Love,

Cecelia<3