Down the Stone Beach

30, she/they, 💗💜💙

[cecesagittarius]

I have three (3) cats, and this is their introduction

The Matriarch

Salem, 8, perfection. Enjoys windowsills, the color blue, and snuggling in bed. Hates any food that isn't Purina or fancy feast (if she was a human she would only eat pizza and chicken nuggies)

The Eunuch

Mr. Mustachio, 3, a man. Likes being fed, watching me cook, and not being outside. Hates catheters and not being the center of attention

The Baby

Fae, 2, has chlamydia. Likes licking fingers, belly rubs, and having the high ground. Hates losing the battle and not being allowed to eat q-tips

[retquits]

artistic rendition of how my cat fell asleep this morning

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

[ur-favorite-fishgirl]

if you vote me for president i vow to make everything the ocean again. no more land only ocean. this will solve all of our problems and replace them with new, far more interesting problems

[chitterchitter]

[i-am-fert]

ferts should not dink alcol normaly but this guy is cool. heis partying.

[ach-sss-no]

when brandon sanderson talks about villains in his famous free youtube writing class video lectures he'll say 'what's the difference between gollum and sauron' and of course he means the villain that's present in the narrative and characterized in a way the audience can potentially relate to or sympathize with vs. the looming threatening anonymous far-off force (among other things). but every time he asks that i think 'well one of those guys tracked down frodo and got his ring back'

[mysteryteacup]

Brandon Sanderson: What's the difference between Gollum and Sauron?

OP: Skill issue.

[ceruleanheaven]

[very clearly indulging the urge] im fighting the urge

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

tgis is so fucking funny to me. they accidentally Rock Lee'd a retired racehorse

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

imagine youre a fat horse and your new neighbour is a personal trainer

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

horse that reads Marcus Aurelius

[voyage-of-the-porn-spreader]

I was wrong. they didnt rock lee him. this horse is literally Gai. and i wish he was my dad

[omtai]

this summer we WALK IN A RANDOM DIRECTION and NEVER STOP

[persianmom-deactivated20260602]

seems like my dedication to my isolation isn’t going to save me. that’s crazyyyyy

[byjove]

here are some additional requirements I would add to the United States presidency:

you are not eligible for the presidency if you are over the age of 65, if you turn 65 in office, that is fine but you cannot campaign if you are over 65

you cannot be president if you are a felon

you cannot be president if you have a personal net worth over $8 million

you cannot be presidency if you have had to file for bankruptcy in a business venture

you cannot be president if you cannot pass a basic neurological exam

you cannot be president if you have been convicted of or found liable for any sex crime, domestic violence or sexual harassment. unproven allegations are cause for investigation and can result in immediate termination from office if proven.

you cannot be president if you have been divorced more than once

you cannot be president if you never smoked weed out of a soda can in high school

you have to be up to date on all of your shots and forklift certification

[byjove]

straight cis white men are barred from holding executive office, if you’re a cisgender white guy and you want to run for president, you have to kiss another man with tongue for at least 15 minutes on national television and you’re disqualified if you display any sign of disgust

[byjove]

candidate may choose any American man past the age of majority as a partner for the presidential gayness confirmation ritual as long as they consent 

[threedollarsdotcom]

theyre taking me out back behind the shed presumably to give me a medal for my valor and heroism

[byjove]

accidentally referred to someone’s elderly rescue dog as their secondhand dog and I feel like that was a massive linguistic failure on my part 🧍‍♂️…their Goodwill chihuahua

[byjove]

moderate wear collector’s edition pitbull mix

[rohirric-hunter]

Somebody at work keeps adjusting one of the perimeter cameras to have this beautiful artistic angle on the museum in a historical building across the way. The sun sets just behind it and the whole sky turns golden-blue, clouds streaked across the sky above. The lush tree line beneath the museum is perfectly lined up along the rule of thirds and the building itself towers above, almost mythical in its evening glory. Like damn, take a still from this camera and send it to the museum to frame and hang on their wall. I do need the camera to be pointing at the parking lot. Tho

[rohirric-hunter]

The setting sun bounces off the skyscrapers downtown and hits the museum's windows and every one of them turns the same golden hue as the sky behind, reflected in the trees just starting to turn golden-orange beneath. The bottoms of the clouds take on the slightest tinge of purple and birds circle above, speckling the evening sky as they call autumn's last farewell. Someone's car got broken into in the parking lot last week, Tammy, point the damn camera at the cars

[deerfishing]

[parkayquarts]

dont trace reference images. dont even LOOK at reference images. in fact, don't ever look at anything that exists in the world, in person or in photos or in videos, even when you're not drawing, because you will still be able to use the memories of what something looks like as a reference when you're drawing it later. yes that includes yourself. destroy all the mirrors in your house. don't look down at your hands or feet. don't look. close your eyes. close them tight. forget everything. it's okay, embrace the darkness. just forget.

[papajoolia]

my artistic rendition of the giant raccoon I woke up to in my window at 4am because I couldn't get my phone out fast enough to take a pic

[lukewarmtomatosoup]

whatever man i don’t even like this guy