Puffle Ponies

A little bit of shit in every post. I am evil. But only a little. ...eeeevvviiiilllllll

[blackwoolncrown]

fuck.

the internet is like, broken broken.

[blackwoolncrown]

Me: Hey can you pull up common phrases including the word 'survive'?

AI-fucked internet: Heh! Sure thing. I-- cheeburger, cheeburger, cheeburg

[the-haiku-bot]

AI-fucked internet:

Heh! Sure thing. I– cheeburger,

cheeburger, cheeburg

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[gigglepuffpixie]

i tried to look up when draculin (the anti-coagulation agent in vampire bat saliva) was discovered/named

i got ai crap about Dracula, a "summary" about how it wasn't discovered because Dracula isn't real, and a fucking biography of Brennan Lee Mulligan

[pancakeke]

vaseline is op for fucked up skin but its texture stat is dogshit

[pancakeke]

[pancakeke]

we aint putting that on the chart, chief

[mangonetics]

yes the fuck you are if you have any respect for its inventor

[pancakeke]

OKAY FINE JESUS

[pancakeke]

tags like this remind me that this is the only social media site where I'll ever truly belong

[kimmywithay]

I don't think it smells all that good tbh.

[pancakeke]

it's unscented, and in my book that's the only way to score 5/5.

[goldtoothedworm]

wait but what does it actually taste like

[pancakeke]

can everyone please stop trying to trick me into eating vaseline

[the-haiku-bot]

can everyone please

stop trying to trick me into

eating vaseline

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[findingfeather]

I absolutely fucking hate this. Gold star, no notes.

[sashasienna]

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onApr 23, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onMay 2, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onMay 8, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onMay 11, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onMay 14, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onMay 17, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onMay 20, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onMay 23, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days.

Voting ended onMay 26, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days.

Voting ended onMay 29, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days.

Voting ended onJun 1, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days.

Voting ended onJun 4, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days.

Voting ended onJun 7, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days.

Voting ended onJun 10, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days

Voting ended onJun 13, 2025

[teabree-shark]

Do you think Microsoft understands consent?

Yes

Remind me in 3 days.

Voting ended onJun 16, 2025

[teabree-shark]

You may think these are all overwhelming wins, but if you started with 100 people, there would only be 66 left at this point. And since they only ever ask once for "Yes," you rapidly get diminishing remainders.

They are a corporation. They have time and money that none of us individually do. They can wait out 10, 20, 700 attempts at asking. The only way to win this is to either always have everybody answer no, or stop rewarding companies that blatantly don't care about consent at all.

No permanent negative option means they understand, and refuse to practice, consent.

See you in three days.

[iteration-dave]

You are not allowed to say no to the ruling class.

[destiel-news-channel]

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'JK Rowling posted upskirt photos of a woman on Twitter' to Cas 'I love you'. /End ID]

No one doing this should be allowed to call themselves a feminist.

JK Rowling deadnamed and posted 'upskirt' photo of trans woman on X

The wealthy author escalated a social media spat that resulted in posting a photo from a 2023 event at the Institute of Economic Affairs in

[solarishashernoseinabook]

Let's not beat around the bush: Children's author JK Rowling sexually harassed someone. In some jurisdictions, this would count as sexual abuse. JK Rowling has committed a sex crime against a woman and fell back on the old rape apologist standby of "she was asking for it".

I hope your nostalgia is worth it

[breadcroww]

kinger and his 4 daughters <3

(based on this post)

[willgrahamscock]

I do the opposite of gatekeeping, I’m not going to shut up until you like this thing as much as I do

[willgrahamscock]

here’s a wet pathetic man in a gifset to get you started and then I’m going to send you memes as propaganda

[destinationtoast]

gatetossing: hurling the gate at passersby and attempting to capture them, regardless of whether they wanted to pass through the gate

[ihni]

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[innerchildabortionclinic]

[innerchildabortionclinic]

Everyone keep sending your attacks. She can't protect him forever

[r-si]

this bitch is literally crazy… she used to be a fitness influencer and scammed hundreds of women with alleged personalized fitness and diet coaching and she got sued by the state of texas and i believe settled for like 250,000 dollars. she then pivoted hard to conservative evangelical christian influencing. her husband is actually her second husband and he was fired from the kansas city police department for excessive use of force and when their family dog got hit by a car he whipped out his gun and shot it instead of taking it to a vet. they also forcibly exploited an unhoused man and sent him to a christian rehab… AND she holds religious retreats for roughly 700 dollars where her husband shows up despite the fact the events are described as being “women only spaces” and they baptize people in a horse trough…

[postillfastill]

[strawberrycinema]

Also for anyone that didn’t grow up in a fundamentalist Christian space, “husband is under spiritual attack” is usually code for having an affair/watching porn/is gay

[ralfmaximus]

My god, she has pissed off a lot of people.

[mariakono]

I am taking the bus in paris i hope im not gonna get attacked by the creatures!

[mariakono]

OH NOOOOOOOOO

[gigglepuffpixie]

THE CREATURE

[screenshotsofdespair]

[kropotkindersurprise]

E-Scooters yearn for the embrace of their natural habitat...

[nevertheless-moving]

so when i was a kid a read this story where a boy gets turned into a mouse by evil witches. at the end (spoilers) him and his beloved grandmother manage to slaughter all the witches but they do NOT manage to turn him back to a human child. he stays a mouse. the grandmother rebuilds her home to be mouse accessible. and they discuss the fact that he's aging like a mouse, so he probably only has a few years to live; but it's ok, because the grandmother confesses that she ALSO only has a few years to live and they both agree that they wouldn't want to live without the other. So everything is alright then, and they're happy, and that's the end of the story. it's probably been over two decades since i read it and quite frankly i am still processing the intertwining concepts of love and mortality but anyway that's not my point. my point is that Rocky did not die of acute radiation sickness because he spent enough time shielded by astrophage that his body was able to handle the damage, but holy shit does he have every type of cancer. he didn't die entering grace's atmosphere but all of his organs caught fire. I repeat — his internal organs caught fire. he spent several decades in a low gravity environment. Do you know what human bodies do in low gravity? it's not good man. 20% muscle loss in two weeks. 1% bone density loss every month. Maybe carapaces and low organic matter would handle the change better, but idk, it might actually be worse.

anyway my point is, actually, i do think that Rocky and Grace would get to grow old together.

[nevertheless-moving]

i know i'm op but op the idea of Grace arriving at Erid on the verge of death, recovering, and then living a long and full (maybe not especially healthy) life, vs Rocky arriving home a trimphant hero, a miraculous survivor of a thousand calamaties only to at long last have to pay the toll, dying tragically young, I'm.

Rocky and Grace jokingly comparing the pros and cons of bipedal vs pentapedal joint pain. Rocky wearing the xenonite exo-suit because it actually helps keep his carapace from collapsing to the ground. Grace affectionately bumping his cane against it in morse code because of course their stupid ernglish pidgin isn't enough; now that everyone know english they also need a secret language that's just for them.

Grace in his motorized bubble scooter touring the city. Naturally, Rocky's going to keep him company by riding in the stupid sidecar, how would he explain everything if he was walking beside him? And of course Rocky's telling people to repeat things and his voice is weirdly pitchy, Grace is there and human hearing is awful. It would be rude to talk normally.

Rocky pulling out the old hamster ball and curling up inside. And he knows, he knows its bad posture, but right now it hurts less. Grace curled up around him, the exterior of the ball a carefully calibrated 39 C. They are both hiding from well meaning physical therapists. Whispering doesn't actually do anything in that regard, but Rocky finds whispering hilarious for some reason (Eridian equiv of helium infused squeaky voice).

Gravity as Erid's love for them, a painful embrace they wouldn't trade for anything.

They get to grow old together. It's not enough time, but its so much more than they thought they would have; it's surprisingly easy to be okay with it. It's a tragedy from every angle except perhaps the inside.

[ajhasmademistakes]

#whatever you do don't think about adrien ok#adrien got him back. They got to see him again. There's 23 other mates who can't say the same#i think there's a world with pebbles and an affectionate blobby uncle#but in this one the infertility is the first warning that he's maybe not okay#(of course rocky avoided mentioning the chronic pain - he'd been living with most of it for decades at this point)#(and for the first year or 2 he's dead serious about getting Every doctor to work on Grace. Like at first you think hes being hyperbolic#But theres a solid period where rocky is genuinely indignant at the concept of any doctor anywhere working on someone who isn't grace#Yes he knows other people need doctors too.#but also did you consider that they can fucking wait question???)#Anyway#In the end#In the end rocky falls asleep with grace watching. a few hours go by. and then a few more.#and then grace figures rocky won't mind if he rests his eyes for just a minute.#and neither of them have to mourn.

[newsandstuffisee]

[radiavoc]

smh you could have stolen noelle's name

[gigglepuffpixie]

mash them both together

that sure would be suelle

[timcurrysbooty]

[carlottagiudicellivevo]

[takiki16]

NO FEAR.  The actors who played Long John Silver and Captain Flint in Black Sails FULLY ACKOWLEDGE that the Muppet adaptation was the best

(source)

[saint-batrick]

[alder-knight]

hi i hope i get to be the one to break this news on Tumblr, because

I am reading Tim Curry’s 2025 memoir, Vagabond

and in it, he not only devotes a chapter to Muppet Treasure Island, but also references this very post

so, to recap

no, Tim Curry is absolutely NOT a Muppet; however

yes, he and Miss Piggy ABSOLUTELY fucked

[darkych4]

Bang! 🫀

[gigglepuffpixie]

all better!

[dogpuppy]

[gigglepuffpixie]

it would not!

source: phlebotomy whochimawhatchims