Puffle Ponies

A little bit of shit in every post. I am evil. But only a little. ...eeeevvviiiilllllll

[7777777awawawa7777777]

cis men are doing forcemasc self hypnosis every day

[7777777awawawa7777777]

cis men know that it’s possible to be amab and not a man and it’s their biggest fear

[isuggestforcefem]

I’m coming for them.

[hagiomoto]

Most popular Jack the Ripper theories from ripperologists just blame immigrants, but personally I think it was British empire soldiers...guys who'd just come back from committing massacres in Africa and Asia and figured, why stop now?

The British army committed tons of mutilations during the massacres they committed in colonial times. Removing breasts and mutilating uteruses has been recorded before. In India, in Kenya etcetera.

It's silly to think Jack the Ripper was just some random blue-collar worker from Poland instead of a soldier who probably just came back from the Xhosa Wars, for example.

And Xhosa Wars happened about a decade before the first Whitechapel murder.

[hagiomoto]

One of the theories posits a Malay ship cook as Jack the Ripper. It's so stupid. True crime people are so stupid. This is the era when the British, Dutch, and French etc were committing mass violence across half the world. No one bothers to think about the implications of such a culture of violence and how it would influence their own capital's culture. This is London during the height of colonial plunder.

Not one true crime enthusiast wants to suggest that maybe the serial killer used to be an annihilator of an Indigenous tribe.

Instead, we get a Malay cook. Or a Polish immigrant. Or a Jewish butcher. Always the outsider. Never the bloke who learned his trade in the Xhosa Wars, came back to Whitechapel, and just kept going.

[gigglepuffpixie]

soldier steeped in violence suddenly deprived of a ubiquitous part of their life continues in same vein? impossible! /s

[threedollarsdotcom]

letd go eat parts of that guys car

[gigglepuffpixie]

chocolate guy strikes again

[inkskinned]

Every day I handle more money than I will ever make. Every day.

At the start of my employment, my boss showed me videos of people stealing, and we both had a chuckle about it. How silly they were! There was a camera overhead, and it’s not to watch the shoppers. See, we can’t actually stop shoplifters. They get away with it maybe nine out of ten times. But we, who are watched and tallied and witnessed? We are always caught.

At first it was hard to hold one hundred dollars bills. An amount I had never seen before. An amount that didn’t exist in my household. It’s normal now. Here is something that is not for me.

“What the hell, I’ll take another,” says the man, pondering our 200 dollar watches. What the hell. Total comes to 580 and not even a flinch in his face. I have been working for 11 hours today and made only 110 dollars. It will go to my rent. Today I work for free, it feels. When I get my check, I will have 35 dollars left for food and saving.

The six hundreds he hands me go into the cash register. For a moment, I imagine having money. Then I put it away, counting out his change.

I know for a fact we sell our products for double what they are worth. That I could be making commission. That they could hand me those 580 dollars and change my life and not even mark the difference in their checkbooks. He’s not the only sale they make today, but I am the reason they made it. He’s not the only one spending 600 dollars, but if I hadn’t spent two hours with him telling me about his life, he wouldn’t have spent any. I go home. I don’t own a watch.

I have watched and rewatched a video on how to make salmon four ways. My shopping list is always the same. Pasta. Rice. Tuna. If I can afford butter it was a good week. I dream of the world I will never walk in, where I can throw the best fish fillet in the cart with a shrug. I hold hundreds in my hand and look up at the camera. I put them under the cash drawer.

I go to work. I scrap together my savings. I eat my bowl of rice slowly. My manager takes a paid week off from work just for his birthday. He owns a yacht. 

I’m not worth the cost of a watch.

[luluquiq]

I drew some flag deers for pride month ! 

Be proud of who you are !

you can use them if you credit me

[pavizi]

in honor of tdov here's a short comic about my transition

[foone]

It's only too late if you're dead, and you are not dead.

[yourfaveisintersex]

what if I just made my profile picture a male calico cat or something. hurm

[icewingassasin]

Could I suggest a picture of Dawntreader Texas Calboy? He is a beautiful male calico cat who is a chimera. He's also somewhat controversial among some cat fancy associations since he is a male cat with female colors, and some people are strangely transphobic towards him, despite him being a cat? There was even a rule implemented to keep him from competing in a cat show. If you look up his name, he made a few news articles.

[yourfaveisintersex]

Oh my god?????

Yeah you're right about beautiful I'm squeezing him until he pops!!!!! I love this guy I think I'm going to make an edit real quickly Calboy I love you I'm so sorry people are calling you a freak??????

[yourfaveisintersex]

:)

[taibhsearachd]

This is funnier than it should be. He's so angry about it. WHY ARE YOU MISGENDERING THE CAT.

[ruffboi-mags]

To be fair, I don't think he was referring to the cat (who wasn't there) but to the cat's owner (who is a woman and who the author had been asking if anyone could point them in her direction).

Still hilarious that they're pitching a fit over a boy cat being calico, tho. Like idk man maybe your cat show rules are stupid if you're going to gender-lock coloring? /shrugs just me, maybe.

[gigglepuffpixie]

people want biology to fit into neat little boxes

it doesn't

all hail Calboy!

[liarsblade]

Fanfiction is cool because you get to learn what other people's parents taught them the hymen is like

[liarsblade]

I know that I had somewhat unusually comprehensive sex ed but it still surprises me every time I'm reminded that some people genuinely think that losing your virginity is a capri sun kind of situation.

[gigglepuffpixie]

huh, just had a thought...

some gals are unaware they have three holes down there, they think pee comes out the vagina

what is the overlap between them and the capri sun girlies?

and how do they think that even works?

is it a one-way valve kinda situation or what?

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[smadsel]

would be remiss not to mention that the rainbow notably straight up just removed the trans flag colors from it. like they’re gone. it’s the progress flag minus the trans flag colors.

[smadsel]

that’s not the whole flag, now is it

[manuciruja]

hey staff what the fuck

[villainessbian]

hey staff don't you think you're being too on-the-nose

[shrodingers-catgirl]

HEY STAFF DONT YOU THINK YOU'RE BEING TOO ON-THE-NOSE

[lesvegas]

A few years ago while trying to find ways to commit suicide as painlessly as possible, I came across a PDF of Dr. Paul Quinnett's The Forever Decision. Thinking it might go into actual methods of suicide (I read an article once that actually did that and was trying to find it again) I started to read it, and I think I only got about two pages in before I was crying too much to actually see the words.

I downloaded the PDF to my hard drive and I open it again whenever I'm feeling too suicidal to do much else, but not enough to start booking a ride to the hospital. And every time without fail I only go up to a few pages before backing off and choosing to live another day just because suicide suddenly seems even more unbearable than whatever the hell upset me in the first place.

All the book really does is [I'm pulling a summary from GoodReads here as, again, I've read no more than 5 pages] "discusses the social aspects of suicide, the right to die, anger, loneliness, depression, stress, hopelessness, drug and alcohol abuse, the consequences of a suicide attempt, and how to get help."

But it also starts with the author kindly asking the reader to complete the book before going through with anything, and for some reason I'm compelled to really just try to read it all before finalizing everything. Despite not yet completing it (hopefully never will) I think I can safely say it's saved my life at least a few times now.

It's intentionally legal to copy and redistribute this book to keep it as accessible as possible, and it's very easy to find, but here's a link for it anyways.

[prismatic-bell]

I found the institute he heads, the QPR Institute, which focuses on suicide prevention, and sent them a note of gratitude and told them the book is being passed around here.

I was answered by the national coordinator, who's passing my comment on to Dr. Quinnett.

So if you saw this post and you're in that place so dark where "does it really matter, though? Nobody even knows I exist" feels like a very true statement:

Somebody does know, actually. He wrote this book, and he's very glad it found its way to you, and he wants you alive. In fact he's dedicated the last 40 years of his life to that goal. He knows you exist because it was important to me to give him the chance to know about you.

So will you do him, and me, a favor, and give it one more day?

I've given it fifteen years so far, and it's gotten a hell of a lot better than I ever imagined it could.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

no more historic events this decade that is ENOUGH, i’m putting my foot down

[alettertofutureme]

History is not done with us yet my friend

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

I have received all manner of threat, up to and beyond “I will play a flute carved from your femur,” and yet this is the first time I’ve felt truly threatened

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

i knew posting this in 2022 was risky but holy fucking shit

[gigglepuffpixie]

prophetically this is less apollo and his dodgeball and more just lookin'

[insecuregodcomplex]

[astraldemise]

ive been trying to get a picture of this van for years

[bird-doodles-daily]

91

[gigglepuffpixie]

it Dave

[tallahasseemp3]

the kind of gay representation i want from marvel is simple. i want to hear a grindr noise from bucky’s phone while he and sam are staking a place out and sam is like come ON dude

[spiritsflame]

this and the stakeout is in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Bucky pulls out his phone like he’s about to swipe right on Greg-the-Henchman, mostly to fuck with Sam.

Meanwhile, Greg-the-Henchman, showing off this hot match he just made and his buddy Jake-the-Henchman, who is more up to date on the briefings, just “...Is that the winter soldier.’

and there is a single moment. before they both remember that grindr is proximity based.  “Oh FUCK we gotta GO!” 

[chucktaylorupset]

Jake Thehenchman: Wait is it just me... or is that the winter soldier

Greg Theotherhenchman: Aw dang it, I'm being catfished?

Jake: Do a reverse google image search

Greg: ...I'm not finding it

Jake: Wait

Greg: Wait.

Jake: Is that his actual profile?!

Greg: holy shit, I got swiped on by the Actual Winter Soldier!?! The man hangs out with Captain America and he swiped on me!?!

Jake: He sure did, buddy! Congratulations.

Greg: Wow. The Winter Soldier

Jake: Yeah.

Greg: Crazy.

Jake: Yup. Hey, ask him if Sam Wilson is single for me.

Greg: I'll do it right now. Hes only 20 feet away--

Jake:

Greg:

Greg & Jake: SHIT!!!!!!

[akaanir-of-starfleet]

#greg later in cuffs:so was that a joke when you swiped me or...? #bucky: listen youre about to go away for like a hundred years #greg: okay would you still be around after that #bucky: ...maybe #greg: oh so would you want to-- #sam: nope! uh-uh! stopping you right there!! not having that!! not happening #greg: oh man the falcon hey a friend of mine wanted me to ask-- #sam: nope! (via @chucktaylorupset)

[kushblazer666]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

holy shit its for real

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[makesnonoise]

@saunter-vaguely-into-the-shadows