Herpderp

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[pantheratigrisaltaica]

for those curious, this is joanne, a 15-year-old sumatran tiger currently living at phoenix zoo. it's very sweet to see her playing and tumbling around like this at her age -- she's got some people taking care of her if she still has this energy at that age.

i did see some users in the notes who were concerned about her looking 'scrawny', or wondering if she's maybe a juvenile -- far from it! at 15, joanne is very much considered a geriatric tiger; she's a grandma. she is, however, a sumatran tiger (panthera tigris sumatrae) -- sumatrans are the smallest extant subspecies of tiger, built more for the sweltering jungles of sumatra than the blistering cold of the amur river or the dense forests and mangrove swamps of south asia.

when you're used to seeing amur or amur-bengal hybrid ('generic') tigers on television or online, most of which are often overfed and overweight, a sumatran is going to look a bit weird, but joanne looks to be in wonderful shape -- look at those muscles flex and that coat shimmer when she moves! that's a healthy old lady for sure. props to joanne's keepers for taking such good care of her.

[hotvampireadjacent]

[mens-rights-activia]

[mens-rights-activia]

Haha you don’t know how happy this would make Louis(my friend featured in my videos) he loves lonely island 🥹

[spaceshipsandpurpledrank]

[good-fwiend-in-wome]

shoutout to flags that look like landscapes fr gotta be one of my favorite genders

[jonnystrebor]

Not to forget:

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[greenheart-anon]

"Enjoy the sodium desgraciadas"

[inthesensethat]

[cordic]

its important to me that all y'all know that mannertee has an arch nemesis

his name is Ikanzame and he's a shark with bad driving etiquette!!

[butch-of-the-blades]

ikanzame!!! your people of virginia desire you carnally!!!!

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[laerugo]

#tapping the reblog button with utmost care because i’m handling a historical artifact (via @malarkiness)

[mortimermcmirestinks]

holy shit OP is not only still active but is still making absolutely banger posts in this exact style 11 years later

[rue-nightly]

A 2025 update

[afeelgoodblog]

That's so sweet

[tobiasdrake]

Can you imagine being Gandalf? Getting shit from other wizards because you have a thing for hobbits and you're just like, okay. Okay, maybe I'll temper my fascination with hobbits.

This Ring quest will have two hobbits. Maximum.

Then they all get to Rivendell and have somehow multiplied into four hobbits. And it's like. Okay. Maybe the others are right.

Maybe this is too many hobbits.

We have as many hobbits as we have not-hobbits.

But damn it, you just don't want to get rid of any of these hobbits. Screw it! Everyone can deal. Four hobbits. This is a four hobbits problem.

So away you go.

And things go bad in the worst possible way.

Over and over.

You've lost your hobbits. You've lost yourself. The fellowship has been separated.

It takes everything in your power to help the humans defend themselves, bringing them together to save Rohan. Finally, as things begin to look upright, you're ready to face the war with everything the Rohirrim have left.

You're ready to face him. This may be the hardest battle you've ever fought. But you ride.

Then you get there and two of your fucking hobbits are sitting there like "Yeah, while you were gone, we raised a tree army and beat Saruman's ass. Wanna help us loot his tower?"

....

There were not, in fact, too many hobbits.

This was a four hobbits problem.

[elodieunderglass]

A wizard neither underestimates nor overestimates the number of hobbits needed for an equation. He, er, always has precisely as many as he needs to.

[a-dumb-bitch-apparently]

[pixll-sparks-deactivated2021111]

I’m crying this is High Art 

[fear-is-nameless]

that’s some of the funniest stuff I’ve seen in a long time

[fear-is-nameless]

In another universe this is what happened when we hacked into IRIS.

[aquilacalvitium]

The fucking dedication

The rickroll in several different shirts

This took TIME

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[depsidase]

[the-peoples-of-middle-earth]

[cash-bundren]

“You fool. No man can kill me.”

How many times am I allowed to reblog this before it gets weird?

[davidkarpvevo]

[arachnofiend]

Fun facts: Tolkien constructed this scene because he came out of Macbeth thinking that Shakespeare had missed a golden opportunity with the ”Be bloody, bold, and resolute; laugh to scorn the power of man, for none of woman born shall harm Macbeth” prophecy

[majere636]

Being letdown by Macbeth is apparently a significant factor in Tolkien’s writing because the Ent/Huorn attack on Isengard was the result of his disappointment that the whole “til Birnam Wood come to Dunsinane” thing was just some dudes holding sticks and not actual ambulatory trees.

[xekstrin]

so he basically took his favorite shakespeare headcanons and put them into his AU fic

[poutineisdelicious]

This revelation just knocked me over.

[urulokid]

LET ME TELL YOU A THING ABOUT JOHN RONALD REUEL TOLKIEN. BACK THE FUCK UP SIT THE FUCK DOWN YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING YOU’RE FUCKING JON SNOW HERE. LET ME TELL U A THING

JONNY T WAS LITERALLY THE BIGGEST FANBOY TO EVER WALK THE EARTH. LITERALLY THIS FUCKIN NERD WENT INTO WORLD WAR ONE AND WROTE NORSEFIC EDDA FANFIC IN THE TRENCHES AND SENT IT TO ALL HIS FRIENDS WHO WERE PRESUMABLY LIKE “JOHN WHAT THE FUCK”

BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE

HIS WIFE? MADE HER AND HIMSELF INTO SELF-INSERT OCS IN SAID FIC. ALSO MADE HIMSELF A TOTAL TYR SELF INSERT CHARACTER. ALL VERY DRAMATIC. KEPT WRITING THIS FIC UNTIL IT WAS HUGE. AFTER HE DIED HIS SON PUBLISHED IT AND CALLED IT THE SILMARILLION. JRR YOU FUCKIN NERD

WAIT I’M NOT FUCKING DONE YET. TREEBEARD? BASED THE WAY HE TALKED OF HIS OLD FRIEND JACK WHO YOU ALL MIGHT KNOW AS CS LEWIS. THAT’S RIGHT. THAT NARNIA MOTHERFUCKER. WROTE HIM INTO LORD OF THE RINGS AKA THE SEQUEL TO THE SEQUEL OF HIS ORIGINAL FANFIC MASTERPIECE. CS LEWIS FUCKING HATED LORD OF THE RINGS. TOLKIEN FUCKING HATED NARNIA. BASICALLY THEY STARTED THE OXFORD PROFESSOR LIVEJOURNAL CLUB AND THEY FLAMED EACH OTHER’S SHIT RELENTLESSLY YET REMAINED BFFS

SHELOB? FUCKING TARANTULA BIT J-TIDDY ON THE FOOT WHEN HE WAS LIKE 3. WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS.

HIS AUNT’S HOUSE? NAMED BAG END. YEAH YOU GUESSED IT WROTE IT INTO LORD OF THE RINGS

THIS FUCKING DORKUS SUPREME MADE UP HIS OWN LANGUAGE. WAIT NO IM WRONG. HE MADE UP LIKE 80 LANGUAGES AND DIALECTS AND ALPHABETS AND SHIT 

BEST PART OF ALL?? HIS OWN LAST NAME, TOLKIEN, WAS DERIVED FROM THE GERMAN “TOLKHUN” MEANING “FOOLHARDY”. DOES THAT RING A BELL TO ANYONE FAMILIAR TO LORD OF THE RINGS??? BECAUSE YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT PEREGRIN “PIPPIN” TOOK’S LIKE FUCKING CATCHPHRASE WAS “FOOL OF A TOOK”. TOLKIEN FIC’D HIS OWN FAMILIAL LINGUISTIC HISTORY INTO HIS WORK WHAT A DWEEB

IN 2008 HE RANKED 6TH ON A LIST OF THE TOP 50 BRITISH WRITERS SINCE 1945. HE WAS A PROFESSOR OF LANGUAGES AND OTHER IMPORTANT STUFFY SHIT AT OXFORD

AND JRR TOLKIEN WAS THE BIGGEST DWEEB EVER TO LIVE

THE END

[urulokid]

#somebody fuckin censored this post like a weirdo so i had to go back a bit to find an uncensored version????? #what a fuckin weirdo????????#worth it #lotr #jrrt

WHO THE FUCK CENSORED MY GLORIOUS FUCKING RANT ON TOLKIEN

DO YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THERE’S A VERSION FLOATING AROUND WITHOUT ALL MY SWEARS

UNBELIEVABLE

THIS IS THE WORK OF MORGOTH I TELL YOU 

[sarriane]

hey guys i think we found colbert’s blog

[ruinedchildhood]

[spankyhole]

THIS IS THE SMOOTHEST THING I’VE EVER SEEN HTE FRICK

[troyeslittlenuggett]

IT’S BACK

[gotstufftosaybutwhowantstoliste]

I can’t stop watching

[birthdaypigeon]

I don’t need 6 seconds of this I need 6 hours

[mapsburgh]

Sauron > Trump

I keep seeing these memes comparing Trump to Sauron, but I think that comparison is pretty unfair to Sauron. Consider:

- He has thousands of years of experience in government as Lord of Mordor. - He always pays his contractors all of the rings that he owes them. - He remained faithful to Morgoth even after he got thrown into the Outer Dark – he never traded him in for a younger, prettier dark lord. - He doesn’t want to ban immigration from Harad. - His university in Eregion wasn’t a fraud – Celebrimbor learned some actual ring-lore there. - He has never gotten on the Palantir at 3 am because Faramir insulted him or to tell everyone to watch Galadriel’s sex tape. - He was wounded in battle with Isildur, so he actually earned that Purple Heart. - When he was defeated, his spirit departed from Barad-Dur. He didn’t go around complaining that Frodo’s quest was rigged. - When he met Luthien, he didn’t just start kissing her without her consent, even though he’s a celebrity and she was a total 10. - He was a great poet – he even won a song battle with Finrod Felagund. Just imagine if Trump tried to write the ring poem:

The Elves, they’ve got three rings. Three rings, and I don’t know where they are. I don’t. Maybe Crooked Elrond – I call him Crooked Elrond, because you’ve never seen a more crooked Elf in all of your life – I bet he has one. And maybe Galadriel too. Such a nasty woman.

And the Dwarves. They’re rapists, they’re drug dealers, and some of them I assume are good people. They’re always down there in their halls of stone, working on something, going bing-bing- bong-bing, bing-bong, bing. They’ve got seven rings. Seven whole rings, do you believe that. And they’re some real bad hombres. I’m going to build a wall around Moria, and I’m going to make Durin’s Folk pay for it.

Now some people say that Men, they all die. I mean, that’s what they’re saying. Men are mortal. They sound like a lot of losers to me. “Oh look at me, I’m a mortal Man, and I’m going to die eventually no matter what.” Sad! I tell you what, though, folks. I’m going to give them nine rings. People call me Annatar, the bringer of gifts. Because handing out rings, it’s what I do. It’s what I do.

Now I have the One Ring. And I gotta tell you, this is the best ring. Absolutely the best. Its power is just yuge. You’ve never seen a ring like this. Solid gold, and personally inscribed by me with all the best words. And I’m gonna take this ring, and I’m going to bring them all. And then I’m going to bind them. I’m going to bring them all to Mordor. We’ve got shadows here, we’ve got darkness, we’ve got everything. It’s just the classiest place you’ve ever seen. And we’re going to Make Mordor Great Again!

[theoreocat]

👀