Endless Shelves

Memory organizer, system healer, “the tiny therapist who lives in our brain and makes us love ourselves”. Simon/Valarie, he/him

[ceramic-cat]

People with NPD are not inherently abusive

People with BPD are not inherently abusive

People with psychosis are not going to hurt you

People who are schizophrenic are not going to hurt you

People with DID are not going to hurt you

Its VITAL that as fellow survivors, as fellow neurodivergent people, we recognize when we are perpetuating the stigma against each other. We cannot let preconceived, ableist notions of other conditions define how we interact and attempt to understand others in neurodivergent spaces. I refuse to scapegoat other survivors and neurodivergent individuals for abuses and fears pressed upon us by an ableist society.

[spltlvlhous]

also people with bipolar disorder aren't your adventure.

[ceramic-cat]

Yes that too!

[thepeacefulgarden]

[leafinthebreeze-deactivated2026]

When a pattern is dying, its last breaths are the loudest.

I forgive myself for breathing life into an unhealthy pattern that was dying.

Let it die.

[socialmaya]

[traumascumathena]

Something I want to say, to pro-endos and anti-endos alike, to xenogenics to traumagenics, to literally anyone who says they have a system, is this: 

Do not let your littles or syskids on tumblr–or similar sites, for that matter. 

Yes, I know, it sounds harsh and strict, but the internet is a dangerous place. Online predators, inappropriate ads, viruses, capitalism’s “BUY! BUY! BUY!” mentality, and so on. 

If you wouldn’t let a 5 year old singlet on tumblr, or freely scroll amazon, or chat with strangers, why would you let an alter who is 5 years old do the same thing? If it is dangerous to one, it is dangerous to the other. 

If you simply must let them online, limit them to a few safe websites. For example, we let our littles on Wikipedia, Cool Math Games, certain youtube channels, and safekidgames.com. The old internet may be dying with the loss of flash, but it is not all gone. 

[scpstim]

DR  SIMON GLASS                                                     …  for anon!        

 1.  2.  3.  4.  x.  6.  7.  8.  9.

[sysmedsaresexist]

The Ultimate Traumatic Experience

[sisyphus-sys]

are they saying they remember theirbirth…….?

[ceramic-cat]

Fun fact! The concept of birth being traumatic was popularized by Freud! Yes that Freud! The same Freud who sad All That Dumb Bullshit, and who Knew Fuckall!

Birth isn't traumatic, for the person being born at least! Not only are you incapable of remembering it and therefore incapable of being effected by this supposed trauma, but trauma is an experience fundamentally outside of human psychological norms, and so it causes harm. Literally everyone has been born!

[stimman4000]

if she’s your girl whys she rewarding me with food whenever i push a lever

[nedsseveredhead]

Just. For the record, for anyone worried after seeing that post; Traumadumping on the first day of therapy is like. A good therapist’s dream. Like they WANT you to spill out your problems so they can help you work through them. When you only have an hour with someone once a month it is a Godsend for them to be able to just. Say whats hurting them right off the bat. The biggest problem I had at therapy was I became so conditioned to not talk about my issues that nothing was able to get done. So please, ‘traumadump’ to your therapist. Its what they’re paid for. They are trained to decompress, you don’t have to worry about them.

[pack-of-rats-archive]

I just want to say as someone who was/ is abused by someone who legitimately has NPD (as in it's been confirmed by not only therapists, but friends who also have NPD):

It's ableist af to throw people with NPD or any other PD under the bus and automatically assume that they're abusive.

I know people with NPD who are great and I'm very happy to be friends with them. Alters in our own system hold those traits, and would meet the criteria. I also know shitty people with NPD who totally suck.

Y'know, kinda like with any other group of people. Some suck and it doesn't mean that the entire group of people also sucks.

My mom's personality disorder didn't make her destined to become an abuser. She continously made decisions that made her an abuser, even when confronted, even when she had countless chances to get help and choose to do better. That's on her.

Edit: It wasn't a special type of abuse. It was emotional abuse. Not "narcissistic abuse", just textbook emotional abuse.

[pack-of-rats-archive]

To other abuse victims, I GET IT, because I was this close myself to getting sucked into the sensationalism of "narcissistic abuse" victim communities. There's a fuckload of content pushing the idea that people with NPD are evil and that if you've met one, you've experienced a specific and special brand of trauma. Those communities are extremely validating of your trauma and make you feel seen. I GET IT. But please utilize critical thought before demonizing other people who are mentally ill. Your trauma will still be just as valid and you can still work on healing if you acknowledge that it wasn't a special type of abuse.

[pack-of-rats-archive]

Yep, exactly! Most abusers aren't.

[ceramic-cat]

Mutuals from main who unknowingly reblog my posts my beloveds

[ursulaklegun-deactivated2024122]

help…i have a white cat with heterochromia who looks just like this and now i can’t look at him without thinking “a cat with homophobia in its eyes ❤️”

[ceramic-cat]

People with NPD are not inherently abusive

People with BPD are not inherently abusive

People with psychosis are not going to hurt you

People who are schizophrenic are not going to hurt you

People with DID are not going to hurt you

Its VITAL that as fellow survivors, as fellow neurodivergent people, we recognize when we are perpetuating the stigma against each other. We cannot let preconceived, ableist notions of other conditions define how we interact and attempt to understand others in neurodivergent spaces. I refuse to scapegoat other survivors and neurodivergent individuals for abuses and fears pressed upon us by an ableist society.

[warped-05-deactivated20210622]

Why isn't ASPD on this? It's likely the most stigmatized mental illness out there considering the amount of times I hear the word psychopath thrown around about horrible people... i'm not complaining i'm just adding that aspd does not inherently make someone evil or violent and that many people with aspd are capable of living relatively normal lives and controlling their antisocial impulses.

[ceramic-cat]

I just happened to miss it the first time around, but you’re ABSOLUTELY right that people with ASPD ALSO aren’t inherently abusive and arent going to hurt people! I reblogged an addition later, but I hope to go through and acknowledge everyone who brings up ASPD, because I definitely dropped the ball on that one.

[ceramic-cat]

[Image ID: a screenshot of a reply from @pastelclub reading "I was severely emotionally and mentally abused - as well as blackmailed - by someone with BPD so I feel like I'm walking on eggshells on those with BPD bc I feel like the moment I do anything wrong they'll abuse me, as well." End image ID]

I want to preface this with I am deeply sorry that you went through this experience. You didn't deserve what happened to you, and you don't deserve the trauma based fear you're experiencing now. This is in no way excusing your abuse, or downplaying it.

That being said, this feeling is something you need to work on, ideally in therapy as you recover from what happened to you. As someone who was abused by people of marginalized identities as well, including someone with bpd as well, I understand that response and that fear. To further demonize people of marginalized groups is to push on that axis of oppression, and that doesn't help anyone.

Your abuser, and my abuser in that case, did not abuse because they had BPD. They abused because they chose to do so. Weather that stemmed from a refusal to work on their own problems, a lack of knowledge of what healthy relationship looked like, or an outright sadistic desire to cause harm doesn't really matter here. They made choices, those choices caused you harm. They may have weaponized their BPD against you, as abusers will often weaponized their marginalized status and use it as a sheild. That does not excuse OUR hypothetical choice to place the burden of THEIR choices on the entire marginalized group.

I say this only with kindness, and with sympathy as someone who experienced very similar; we can't allow the abuse we suffered turn us into oppressors of people who had nothing to do with our harm. It's not their fault your abuser did what they did, and not their fault your abuser may have hid behind their BPD.

I wish you luck in healing, And a reminder that none of that was your fault. Your abuse was bad enough, and should not be handwaved away, either. I hope this encourages kindness, and productive dialogue. Take care and be well.

[exciting]

fights I would pay to see: sigmund “everyone is attracted to someone” freud vs John “sexual desire is evil and cereal can and will fix it” Kellogg

[moonlitdremr]

Asked my mom who both has a MA in psychology and currently works for Kellogg’s to weigh in for the hell of it

[headspace-hotel]

I asked my mom, who has a mostly complete master’s in counseling, and she said this

So, take all this as you will

[ablednt]

Your shitty mother isn’t a narcissist. Your toxic ex isnt a psycho. You were not a victim of “bpd abuse”. Your abuser was not sociopathic and did not have antisocial personality disorder/was not antisocial. People with harmful and illogical opinions such as government leaders aren’t delusional.

Start finding vocabulary that isn’t ableist here are some examples of more accurate and less harmful descriptions.

“My mother is conceited and self centered, which impacts me negatively still and led to abuse”

“My ex is violent and seems out of control a lot, and they’ve traumatized me through their abusive behavior”

“My abuser [describe their actions without mentioning their bpd bc its not what fucking makes some one abusive . that would be like saying "my abuser had depression….I am a victim of depressed abuse and distrust those with depression now because they’re abusive” ]

“My abuser didn’t have any sympathy or compassion for others and objectified me.”

“My abuser lashed out at others and was always very cold and distant to me.”

“They’re willfully ignorant and hiding behind their privilege.”

[npdsafe]

you said people with npd are more likely to be abused than to be abusive in relationships, which is something I've never heard before. can you link me to info on that? & does it mean more likely to have been abused in the past or to be abused as a diagnosed adult?

Here. Obvious trigger warnings apply.

Important to note that NPD is like any other mental illness. People who suffer with them tend to have a higher rate of not just being abused as children, but also in adulthood. People often act as though for some reason, NPD couldn’t count for normal mental illness, and that they’re more likely to be abusive, but I’ve never found any evidence for such a thing. It’s much more likely an inability or unwillingness of a lot of people to accept NPD as a mental illness in the first place.

NPD is also theorized by some to potentially have ties to childhood abuse or unhealthy parenting styles from when they were children, as well:

“Although the cause of narcissistic personality disorder isn't known, some researchers think that in biologically vulnerable children, parenting styles that are overprotective or neglectful may have an impact. Genetics and neurobiology also may play a role in development of narcissistic personality disorder.” -(x)

“Early childhood risk factors include:

insensitive parenting

over-praising and excessive pampering - when parents focus intensely on a particular talent or the physical appearance of their child as a result of their own self-esteem issues

unpredictable or negligent care

excessive criticism

abuse

trauma

extremely high expectations”

-(x)

[ceramic-cat]

Trans women are women, disagree then stay off my blog 💕