Sick ass werewolf

He/him Trafficking+CSAM survivor Vent&poetry page Feel free to ask me anything

[ch0kingd0g]

I probably liked your post from my NSFT account, @hiddenwerewolfthoughts - go look at that instead.

But it also may have been from @cheapsoju too… please keep this in mind.

[hauntedshoreline]

those who have never experienced any of the horrific things that are found in the epstein files have the luxury of expressing doubt and alternative theories as to what they believe truly occurred, replacing the humans in the testimonies with demons they have come up with inside of their head, while those of us who have had to experience such things do not get the luxury to rewrite what was done to us while we are largely and systematically pushed to the side, time and time again

[tyu4thevenom]

whenever someone makes a diddy joke or mentions epstein to win an argument around a sex trafficking victim they should be allowed to kill them

[ch0kingd0g]

I’m such an idiot I’m such an idiot I’m such an idiot I’m so fucking stupid why didn’t I think of that? Why’d I leave myself open to this possibility? Why’d I let that happen? Why’d I leave myself open? Why’d I let this happen? Why’d I make this mistake? Why’d I do this

[ferventlyviolentsecret]

There’s no version of my story where I was saved. No disclosures taken seriously, no ‘mandated reporter’, no rescue.

When I was being trafficked it was all I thought about. Someone will save me. It will end. I will be saved. Only to age out of usefulness, and somehow stay alive. But there’s no version where I was saved.

[ch0kingd0g]

Idk how to make money without turning back to what I’ve already done

[ferventlyviolentsecret]

There’s no version of my story where I was saved. No disclosures taken seriously, no ‘mandated reporter’, no rescue.

When I was being trafficked it was all I thought about. Someone will save me. It will end. I will be saved. Only to age out of usefulness, and somehow stay alive. But there’s no version where I was saved.

[twistedsweethearts]

I spent every moment of my childhood preforming. Who I was going to be wasn’t something I ever got to decide. I was given a box, and I had to fit in it no matter what. I pulled myself apart trying so hard to be what was expected that I never had the chance to develop my own identity.

I tried so had to be what everyone wanted and it was never enough.

And now- I’m nothing. I’m just a scared child trapped in an adult body desperately hoping that someone will tell me exactly what I need to do to be loved.

I’m nothing.

[didhaver]

"RAMCOA & OEA isn't real; it's fake or exaggerated for attention online. We'd see a lot more cases if it was."

Except you do see us.

We're on the front page of your favorite porn site. We're the tweaking homeless person you pretend not to look at on the street. We're your favorite political talking point. We're the infant in the emergency room screaming from a pain they can't comprehend. We're the black lines in classified files you make jokes about. We're buried in the backyards of farmhouses that have long since returned to nature. We're the ones who sold you drugs in high school. We're the classmate you bullied for growling and barking like an animal. We're the product of a $200 billion industry. We're the blood on your favorite politician's hands. We're alive and dead and existing as fragmented states in between.

You just refuse to look too closely because it makes you uncomfortable.

[terriblethingss]

and every single person i look up to, i wonder how disgusted they would be if they knew, if they knew the things that were done to me and the things i did to survive, i wonder how much they’d hate me if they knew. if they could see my rotting insides, the bugs that eat away at my eyes until everything is dark dark dark. i wonder if they’d wish i’d never been born too.

[when-i-was-killed]

Sometimes statistics remind me of the depressing truth that there is no way to heal from this. My body was permanently affected by someone else's choices. Now my bones hurt in the strangest of ways and I thought I was brave for being this way. For only knowing how to take. I wish I could live life through someone else with a different story sometimes. I wish I didn't always have to be alive.

[ferventlyviolentsecret]

the dollhouse protocol - teaser

release build now live

[ch0kingd0g]

I’m so normal for the most part, or at least eccentric in a GOOD way. In a fun way

I hate that I’m freakish and that I need to hide that. I don’t want these issues they’re not me

[ch0kingd0g]

I can’t explain this in a way anyone would ever understand. I just don’t feel right

I feel like I get cut up

Like I have a disk spinning in my head and sometimes a new piece fractures or breaks off

Every new emotion I feel doesn’t feel like. Right. I don’t understand how to explain it

I don’t know how to say this in a way that sounds realistic its all gonna sound fake. Maybe this is jus normal an nothing is wrong

[ch0kingd0g]

Oh god time passes so fast

I’m sick

I can’t stop gagging I’m gonna throw up

I can’t do this

I need to fix this

[ch0kingd0g]

I’m not supposed to have survived, I wanna tear my skin off. I wasn’t meant to be here. I don’t feel real. I wanna feel real. I feel like I’m made of felt. I wanna feel real. Please please please I wanna be real

I’m gonna throw up

I’m so scared

I’m so anxious

What do I do, I don’t understand.

[ferventlyviolentsecret]

It’s a weird time to be a trafficking survivor