Tea is leaf broth

what do you do with a sick scientist? if you can't helium or curium, you have to barium | any pronouns

[corporationkills]

now who kicked all those springs under the fridge

[chernozemm]

I'm sorry but vaccines are so fucking cool. You're telling me that I just need to drop by my doctor, feel a pinprick, maaaybe feel a bit off for a day and then I have statistically significant, incredible chances of either completely avoiding getting a certain illness or at the very least have a pretty string guarantee my body will kick its ass swiftly??? Fucking magic potion.

[exeggcute]

one of my favorite this american life segments of late is about the people who played orchestra pit for phantom of the opera on broadway and how, like, a sizeable majority of them had literally been playing the show since it opened in 1988 (on broadway. I know it opened in 86 on the west end, you random pedants, but I am specifically talking about broadway musicians) because their contracts stipulated that they'd have jobs throughout the show's entire run... but nobody anticipated that phantom would become the longest-running broadway show of all time.

and none of these people wanted to walk away from a guaranteed job, so very few of them ever quit. they just kept doing the same show eight nights a week... for twenty or thirty years... and by the time it finally closed last year most of these musicians (who had been working together for DECADES) hated each other and really really fucking loathed phantom. I can't stop thinking about it. it's indescribably hellish to imagine but also the funniest thing I've ever heard in my life.

[exeggcute]

can you imagine.

[bisexualshakespeare]

[ID: excerpt from an article reading: One of my favorite stories, which should drive anyone who has every played in a band crazy-- there’s this bassoon player who has sat next to the same clarinet player since 1988. She’s convinced he plays half a note4 flat on every note he’s every played. He denies this. /]

[cleverlittlefox]

[cleverlittlefox]

[cleverlittlefox]

[lepetitghostcat]

Cause here's the thing. To know how it ends. And still begin to sing it again. As if it might turn out this time. I learned that from a friend of mine

[suzirya]

I got permission from this friend to post this because holy fuck I can't stop laughing

[vinelark]

hmm my former landlords are trying to deduct a frankly off the rails amount of money from our security deposit…my time has come once again

[vinelark]

i was chatting with a coworker about this whole saga today and someone nearby popped into the convo to be like “you know, you can use chatgpt to write a demand letter!” and i sort of blinked and went, “okay. i did it myself, though.” and she was like, “yeah but it can tell you what laws and stuff are relevant” and i was like, “i also did research myself.” and she was very well-meaning but she said “chatgpt” like six more times before she left and it was genuinely baffling to me, this insistence on it.

and in the one hand, did i enjoy spending hours researching housing regulations in my state? not especially. drafting this email was stressful. but on the other hand, did i learn a lot by doing that research? yeah, i did. i’m more prepared for my current and future leases. i used some of that info to make decisions about a new renter’s insurance policy. i already told three different people about things i learned that are relevant to their leases that they didn’t know yet. (pro tip: see if you’re supposed to be getting annual interest payments on your security deposit! also look up what specific appliances your landlords must legally provide as of 2026.) i also got to reconnect with my cousin for a bit because her job gave her specific insight on part of the situation, and i’d much rather do that than have a chatbot make shit up for me.

also, i drafted that email with the power of friendship (friends angry on our behalf) and spite (from landlords telling me not to do my research). chatgpt could never.

(we got the money back, by the way 💪)

[chantylay]

Please never use generative AI tools for any kind of legal dispute. It does not know what laws or court cases are. It will make up something that sounds favorable to you, and you will get crushed. There are free resources out there to learn this stuff. And sometimes attorneys will offer free consultations or volunteer at a free legal clinic. OP didn't just do it themselves to do extra work or some shit. This is really the only viable way to do things short of hiring a professional to do it for you.

ChatGPT is not easier or faster in matters like this. It is a shot to the foot.

[depsidase]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[sunderedstar]

[furryprovocateur]

mature content warnings on text posts of nothing but letters on a screen. . . remember when you were allowed to post like an adult and not be shamed or silenced for it

[furryprovocateur]

there is no acceptable explanation for this post being given a mature content warning outside of saying that you are an adult baby on the cyber nanny website!

[punkrock-bottom]

They hate me for being a horny pervert but I have warriors defending my honour across the globe

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

always some new bullshit in the ocean

[local-demon-in-your-area]

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

[thememedaddy]

[homunculus-argument]

Literally no reason for a guy to be over 5'7". That's just wasteful use of biomass. You had enough material to make four dudes and instead you made three. That thing is blocking an entire isle in the grocery store.

[homunculus-argument]

I know it's pronounced ayol but you're not making me make a third guess about how you're supposed to spell that shit.

[materassassino]

An isle is an island.

An aisle is a walkway between seats or shelves in a church, shop or on a mode of transport.

They're pronounced the same but spelt differently, meaning they're homophones.

[homunculus-argument]

[tasty-tiktoks]

[yourdadsghoulfriend]

Brevity is the soul of wit & this was so damn creative

[wordproblemapoligist]

[ID: a woman stands in front of a hell landscape cgi. she's talking to someone out of view; "... Not supposed to be here, I'm Hindu, I'm supposed to be reincarnated, I told you this bef-"

She's cut off my a section of Lil Nas X's song Montero, specifically the line "... Me in the the mornin', i'll be on...". As the line plays, she looks to the side down, as if something nearby is falling. The music fades in, gets louder, and fades back out. She pauses after it fades all the way out.

"Who the fuck was that??" End ID]

[nebulasreblogs]

“I told you this before” implying she has died and gone to Hell more than once, either in this life or a past

[marumicore]

everytime she dies she has to go through this whole long process of paperwork and bribery to get reincarnated

[evilwizard]

warrior who came to me for advice: i just don’t know if i should listen to the telepathic trees, who say i should save the forest, or my adopted wolf mother, who says i should cut it down to build my city. that’s why i came to you… should i go with Psi Ents or Dog Ma?

me: your existence feels fairly contrived

[mclennonyaoi]

working with kids and one of them says “you know you eat 8 spiders a night on average right?” and another goes “no no no those statistics are actually skewed by people who like eat spiders recreationally for fun and stuff” and my head snapped up like a fucking sleeper agent

[macabre-muses]

vader every time he came across 3po and r2 during the war probably