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𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙮 𝙋𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧:

Albus Severus: Hey Mr. Malfoy, look what my dad got me!

Albus Severus:*picks up cage with ferret inside*

Draco:*looks at Harry* Oh very funny

Harry: I thought so

Albus Severus: ??????

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𝔻𝕚𝕧𝕖𝕣𝕘𝕖𝕟𝕥: Tris to Four: Happy Father’s Day!

Four: What?

Tris: You don’t get it?

Four: Am I supposed to?

Tris: I‘m pregnant

Four: Haha bitches I am going to be a dad!

Tris: Four!

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𝗦𝗵𝗮𝗱𝗼𝘄𝗵𝘂𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝘀:

Alec, from the bedroom: MAGNUS!

Magnus, peeps head into door: Yes, biscuit?

*Alec, points at red stain on Magnus’s side of bed*

Magnus: *flashback to the hundreds of times Alec told him not to drink wine in bed*

Alec:

Magnus:

Alec:

Magnus: I am on my period

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𝑇𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑖𝑔ℎ𝑡:

How it should have gone:

Edward to Bella:I love you

Jacob to Bella:I love you more

Bella: shut the hell up I am an independent woman

How it went:

Edward to Bella: I love you

Jacob to Bella: I love you more

Bella: I am sorry Jacob but I love Edward more and I can’t live without him

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Hᴜɴɢᴇʀ Gᴀᴍᴇs:

Katniss and Peeta’s married years

Peeta: Are you just going to sit there and watch old CSI returns all day?

Katniss: Yup. Do you have a problem with that?

Peeta: I do actually. Cake boss is on

Katniss: That sucks

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𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚛𝚔𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚍𝚜

Liam (to Ruby): Ruby doesn’t know I’m high

Ruby: Your high?

Liam: … sorry

Liam (to Chubs): Ruby doesn’t know I’m high

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