life is a ride

And i just want to get down. you can call me jackie. INFP 20 years old. Marxist. student of economy. dirty homestuck trash. wannabe writer. i dug out of my own grave 5 years ago.

[radvera]

finally some good news

[tradfems-deactivated20181202]

Immortalizing Shirley is the only possible way Bethesda can atone for their wrongdoings.

[shitty-car-mods-daily]

You’ve heard of sicko mode what about THICCO Mode

[celtic-pyro-deactivated20230725]

If you rear-end this car you’re legally required to say “Buenos dias,”

[uncle-beanbag]

You may rear end it

Once

[worldsweeper-deactivated2019091]

hrrnn… optimus im trying to sneak around but i’m dummy thick and the clap of my car ass cheeks keeps alerting the humans

[scribe-of-planes]

[voidwardenalex]

[tgi-spideys]

In Miles Universe

Its Decembruary

[skarchomp]

[haarute]

Sorry to disappoint but

This however, means that Miles just deadass wrote “Decembruary” on his test.

[heymomlookimadeablog-deactivate]

My guy was trying way too hard to look dumb

[wlwellbutrin]

real power is going outside knowing you look ugly and also knowing that if you chose to perform femininity in accordance with patriarchal standards you could look attractive, but genuinely prefering to look ugly and not feeling bad about it. feels good feels organic

[anarchohellenism]

True, honest, genuine power is going outside knowing you look gorgeous bc you don’t need to perform hyper femininity the way men want you to and that you can be stunning despite patriarchal ideals

[wlwellbutrin]

i appreciate the intent but i actually made this post in direct response to the liberal feminist tendency to widen the parameters of “beauty” rather than challenging the concept itself and specifically the notion that women must be beautiful to be valuable, and as such my choice of words was very deliberate—i have no interest in being assured i am beautiful and a great deal of interest in existing without being told i must be such. this post is not self-deprecating and does not call for bathroom-stall platitudes. ugliness in women is threatening and i embrace that.

[valtsv]

*banging fists on the table* orc/elf gfs orc/elf gfs ORC/ELF GFS

[valtsv]

bonus points if the orc is clean and sensible and obsessed with poetry and fine art while the elf is a feral nightmare berserker who more often than not returns home looking like she’s just been dragged backwards through a hedge full of thorns after bathing in a swamp

[valtsv]

orc lady: this is my tiny wife

her elf wife: babe, i’m 7 feet tall

orc lady, straightening her back and shoulders slightly to better show off her full 9′4″ of height: i love my tiny wife

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

It’s literally impossible for you to make yourself known to everyone you meet. Some people will just get the wrong impression about you and you have to let it go.

I was walking down the street with my brother on a hot day on our way into a bookstore and I said “I hate the sun. It’s too hot. Name ONE reason we need the sun. Literally I can’t think of a single reason why we can’t just figure out a way to block it”

And a guy turned and looked at me with the most dumbfounded and horrified expression Id seen since the last time someone looked at me like that (about a week before) and then turned to the girl with him and they both looked mistified in the worst way.

They really thought I don’t know what the sun’s for.

I could’ve told them I work in environmental science but I was having a conversation with my brother.

Those two people think that’s the day they overheard probably the stupidest thing any human being has ever loudly said in a bookstore.

That’s fine.

I know I know what the sun’s for.

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

[whitmanic]

Hedonism as a concept is so dope and yall gotta unbrainwash your religious upbringing nostalgia and realize that life IS about kicking back and eating grapes around a fire in nothing but a swim suit and drinking margaritas. A little hedonism never hurt nobody

[alexoun-blog1]

This post makes me want to rob you

[whitmanic]

What and earn all of ten dollars?

[trans-girl-waiting]

If you’ve ever said “she’s too tall” you’re an absolute coward lol

[trans-girl-waiting]

I’m so about how popular this post is, tall girls are so good

[itsabear]

Tall women, buff women, woman who sing jazz barratone, good women all.

[qualitydoggo]

9'5" is a bit much, no?

[trans-girl-waiting]

Abso-fuckin-lutely not, set us up!!!!!!!!!!

[trufflesmushroom]

How?

(Follow me on Patreon!!)

[princesscas]

If you told me that in 2019 the government would have been shutdown for over 20 days because of the wall funding AND that Clemson not only won the Championship BUT the President of the United States would serve them McDonalds, Wendys. Burger King and Pizza Hut…I would not have believed you. Its straight up, like an article from theonion

Imagine winning the championship and you’re invited to the white house only to walk into the room to find cold fast food had been served. I mean COME ON 

They’ve got fine china and this poor guy is struggling to pick up a piece of pizza with…tongs. THEY DIDN’T EVEN TAKE ANYTHING OUT OF THE BOX 

At the same time this is sad, disrespectful and trashy but like…I find it hilarious that this even happened. 

EDIT: I CAN’T BREATHE THEY PUT THE PACKETS OF SAUCES IN THESE FANCY DISHES 

[virginiaisforhaters]

his big brag for this one was he “paid for all the food himself” because the white house cooks are furloughed (because of him you know) but are you telling me that this dude who is supposedly a billionaire couldnt afford to pay a few chefs for the night? my dude that is fucked 

[southernbitchface]

Is The Onion still in business because the world is one major shitpost already. What are they gonna do? Write real news?

[dojacat]

[awfulmidis]

Visit Original Link

[andremichaux]

I fell for you and I knew The vision of your loveliness I hope and pray that someday That I’ll be the vision of your happiness (x)

[ddeeric]

furry….stcuk

[ruinedchildhood]

October 28th 2017 marks the 10th anniversary of Bee Movie.

[nowyoukno]

[fangirling-so-hard-rn]

Crows are scary They

use tools

Can be taught to speak (like parrots)

Have huge brains for birds

like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee

They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things

they are scary smart at solving puzzles

some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies

they can remember faces

SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.

They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.

Guys I’m really scared of crows now. (q) 

[doctormemelordmd]

Yeah but have you seen this 

[stultiloquentia]

A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

[warwyrd-deactivated20170724]

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

[reallymisscoffee]

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.

Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.

That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 

Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 

That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.

Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

[ruggie-bucchis]

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

[avianawareness]

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

[odpixel]

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 

i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.

a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.

i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

[lilith-knight]

Best birbs !!

[soup-erb]

[bumblebeebats]

[benepla-deactivated20180521]

[catwithbenefits]

[corgifish]

[persistentmanlyagitation]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME