So people have asked me why.
At some level, interacting with a character in a kin/fictive way, and interacting with them in a fandom way are fundamentally incompatible.
As I always say, and I mean, to the very core of my being. Characters in fandom are objects, and every fan is allowed to treat them as objects, treat them however they want. They're toys, and fiction, and fandom are a game. Fiction is not reality, and the way people interact with characters doesn't reflect anything about their IRL desires.
It is important, it is fundamental, to protect everyone's right to be wrong about characters, cruel to characters, to make fiction and art where awful things happen to them.
But as a fictionkin/fictive... those characters are real to me. Some of the characters that are most important to me in fandom are important to me because they're ME. That's a life that I lived. That's experiences that I had and choices that I made.
And seeing people be mean about them does hurt. And sometimes my internet filters, and blocklists, and emotional barriers are simply not robust enough to protect me from the way it feels when someone says something negative or hurtful.
Especially when it's being attached to/in response to a piece of fanwork that I made that was heavily derived from my own experience.
Seeing "I hate him so much" reblogged on a piece of work where I was emotionally vulnerable about myself hurts.
And the kicker is that people are 100% allowed to react to characters that way. That's fine and normal, I'm the weird one here, for reacting the way that I am.
So sometimes, when my emotional barriers aren't robust enough to interact with fandom, I think about taking a step back.
pixelskylines
kianamaiart
amandla
gracieabrams
gamechangershow
ellievsbear
izzy806
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