things ruben did that in hindsight, knowing he always knew niall was gay, are very normal and not at all questionable (teen years specifically)
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things ruben did that in hindsight, knowing he always knew niall was gay, are very normal and not at all questionable (teen years specifically)
caught
late mermay art
randy (badly) topping benson <33 all nervous and shaky and oh so sweaty it’s like kinda embarrassing.. whining and pouting cuz this is so hard!!! and the only reason he’s doing it is because benson wants to teach him how to fuck and make him act like a big boy (#punishment) benson loves seeing him struggle!!!
This is the only way I accept top Randy!!!! His heart hammering so fast and his body so sore all over its making him nauseous and scared he’s gonna get sick on top of Benson. He has to do it with his eyes closed so he doesn’t get dizzy. So nervous and overthinking it all he can’t stay hard but he’s not allowed to pull out.
Benson won’t ride him either. He refuses to do the work for Randy, ‘cause this isn’t about pleasure for him. It’s a control exercise. All disappointed and mean, spitting the worst insults he can to make Randy want to move, want to go harder, want to hurt him even. But Randy knows that and doesn’t want to participate in Benson’s sexual self harm <3 The sex is miserable and Benson makes it happen anyway for as long as it takes for Randy to eventually do a good job. Not allowed to get what he wants and bottom again until he makes Benson cum from fucking him.
One time Randy trying too hard and ignoring his body’s limits and warning signs, accidentally peeing while he’s still deep inside of Benson. And not being allowed to pull out despite the mess cause he hasn’t finished. It’s always messy really cause it takes SO long and they both get so sweaty and sticky. Randy hates the sensory experience of all of it.
The aftercare is SO sweet though because Benson is SO proud of Randy for meeting this standard he has in his mind for him. This is necessary for him! It’s training Randy to be assertive and pushy and take what he wants! Hehe let’s hope that doesn’t backfire with a misunderstanding that makes them both wanna kill themselves 👀
But I can’t get over the initial image of Randy’s bony back curved over Benson, his skin so flushed because he’s so sensitive and pale, his face all concentrated but blissed out and the combination makes him drool. Sweaty all over, shaking all over too, and he’s sniffling and whimpering every time he moves because it’s all too much for him. They do it from behind for a while but the second Benson catches that beautiful look on Randy’s face he’s gonna make him face him from then on. He’d correct him on not being so pathetic, make little comments on how he’s still being the bitch even though he’s on top, but he’s secretly relieved Randy doesn’t actually change all that much. If there’s one thing about Benson it’s that he’s a hypocrite.
The pleasure for him isn’t about having something inside, that’s uncomfortable and overwhelming for him too. It’s that Randy will do whatever he tells him. His guilty conscience will make an appearance and he’ll get sick to his stomach thinking about how many times Randy has begged to go back to the other way, how he cries and pleads all the way through his tearful, miserable topping. Constantly switching between pity and anger. But he loves on and dotes on that boy no matter what. Him being bad at this isn’t his fault and he’s gonna fix it!!
The first several times they did, opposite of not being able to make himself cum, Randy was probably shooting off the second he got even the tip inside Benson. But he wasn’t allowed to stop even if he shot off too soon. Cause then he wasn’t learning his lesson! Muscle spasms and over stimulation making him so weak he’s breathless and draped over Benson boneless but still jumping his hips pathetically cause he knows he has to. Being the noisiest boy ever and not even knowing he’s crying and groaning out loud.
love you wormy <3 xo <3
RUBEN & NIALL + attack on the soul ↳ for @idyllspace
I'm sorry.
Well, I'm sorry too.
of course the traditional phrase is “brother from another mother” so it really makes you think that ruben and niall call each other “brother from another lover.” because the sexualization of that phrase is really just the tip of the iceberg to encapsulate all that’s going on in their combined family unit but like. it really does make you think.
“you’re a 15 year old boy, you don’t deserve respect” + maura and lori asking niall to be responsible for ruben + tickling until he acquiesces even though he’s begging them to stop + suggesting that niall used to have a crush on maura as a child and it was something they both encouraged + “i just don’t want my mum rubbing one out over you” + “they don’t seem very happy” / “there’s a lot you don’t know about”
the inherent infantilization of niall walking on ruben's feet like a child, the visual of his little sneakers on ruben's boots while ruben conjures vague images of the unspoken horrors his own father is implied to have committed upon him... richard gadd is not merely a "freak" for creating half man hes making art about something he genuinely cares about hes drawing from his own heart hes trying to tell you something are you listening
half man (2026) - episode 1 // episode 2
Ruben Pallister & Niall 'Bambi' Kennedy Half Man | TV Series | 2026– | TV-MA
Half Man | Richard Gadd & Jamie Bell Opening Scene | HBO Max Premiering April 23
hi wormmmm thinking abt concussed/brain damaged randy after seeing ur liamposting
how did i not see this! omg! my beloved sweetling blue ♥️ and God. don’t get me started on concussed/brain damaged randy <33
maybe he hurts his head from getting into a fight with benson, being pushed too hard he hits his skull on a wall/the hard ground below him.. just laying there for a bit (maybe even twitching a little) before coming to 😖 ever since that incident he just starts acting different.. lashing out/having emotional fits, forgetting he asked benson something so constantly repeating what he’s said already (annoying the shit out of benson), eyes a little permanently crossed/one eye drifting, slurring his words, getting really bad headaches he curls up into fetal position and just cries (maybe even sucks his thumb) !! i can totally see his head/brain injury getting worse after a prolonged period of time and or hitting it again.. motor skills declining a bit, baby talking & babbling, staring off into space, pissing his pants without even noticing >__< and the thing is benson knows he’s responsible, and he does feel bad and honestly sick to his stomach but he knows if he offs himself randy will be all alone, left more vulnerable than before, so he needs to stay alive for his (now) little boy
thinking abt randy’s pervert mom and i have to share my thoughts/hear yours…. tucking him in bed every night & giving him open mouth kisses!! to fuck with randy right before she leaves his room she asks if he’s gonna give his mommy a kiss goodnight and he uncomfortably says yes.. the only door able to lock from the inside is her own bedroom & bathroom (forced mommy son sleepovers), walking in on randy showering and changing 😵💫 doing her own personal check ups on randy because she used to work in pediatrics >__< prodding at his tense skin and flaccid penis with her long cold fingerssss,, maybe even giving him a prostate exam (because “grandpa died from prostate cancer..”) & maintenance guided masturbation sessions because she Knows randy’s so sexually repulsed by his own body he won’t even jerk off and she’s tired of having to wash his soiled sheets and undies even though he begs to do his own laundry!! pinching his ass whenever she’s behind him, kissing his warm ears and neck….. so many possibilities!!!! i love (hate) his pervert mommy
my beloved traumatized little randy <3 hehe thank u wormy <3 I’ll put it under a cut cause this is a little heavy <3
omg what would little! randy & caregiver! bensons sexual relationship be like you think?
Hehehe i'm soooo happy u asked cause guess what my very next wip is about!! currently at almost 3k of how they navigate it specifically from Benson's pov. heeheheh I think you'll like it.
buuuut to give an answer here! it's complicated!!
Intimacy with itty bitty Randy is scary to Benson! His trauma combined with his mental health, and the very obvious fact that he isn't the nicest guy, has made him afraid of the harm he can do. Randy is this precious little thing he loves so much and it makes him nauseous just thinking about accidentally crossing boundaries and hurting him.
The problem is, Randy's so needy!! His beg wet eyes boring into Benson's very soul when he wants something bad. He's impossible to say no to and that's the problem. When what he wants is sexual, and he doesn't wanna say no to his sweet little begging face, but he's terrified of doing something wrong, it makes this big dilemma in Benson's head!
Like any version of their relationship I write where they aren't set on destroying each other they gotta take it a little slow, just hand stuff for a long time until Benson is absolutely sure he's not taking advantage. Sorta adjacent to the dynamic I wrote in My lamb and martyr, you look so precious. But with significantly less non con lol.
Because I love you so so much here's a little snippet from the new wip with little randy and caregiver Benson!!
•••••
Benson is smug about being the only one Randy’s got now. Can’t help the possessive warmth in his chest that Randy instinctually needs him, and holds onto only him. Held by only him too. Waking up that way, with his arms around Randy and the weight of him curled up on his chest- little front sleeper all sprawled over top of him with his thumb jammed in his mouth- Benson could lay and just watch him forever.
His old ass falls the fuck asleep again though. ‘Cause apparently staying up to drive wore his ass out. So Randy’s up first.
He tries his damndest to be quiet. But holding so still makes him sore after a fitful night and he has to roll over. His hair is a mess, all parted wrong and in his face. Puffing air out of his nose, he tries to just blow it out of his face, so he doesn’t have to reach up and move it. Trying to squirm around as little as possible so he can stay close to Benson.
A pointless effort, ‘cause when he tries to shift at all, even a little bit at a time, he wakes Benson up. Just by curving his spine and stretching his legs like a kitty cat, to ease the bit of pain in his stiff body, it’s too much and Benson’s grunting awake. Asking before he even really understands what’s going on, “S’a matter?”
That makes Randy giggle. Benson’s sleepy voice and his confused, wrenched up face. He feels light and silly, definitely still small inside his head. When he answers, “Nothin’.” almost tagging an automatic, ‘mama’ on the end too. But embarrassment strikes him first. Maybe not as little then as in the middle of the night, but not big Randy either. Just a blushing, shy, in between version. He pulls the covers up to hide his face.
Benson pets his hair on the back of his head, clearing his throat of roughness from sleep and asking, “Wha’s ‘at about, baby, huh?”
No filter when he’s like this, and also just as sleepy as Benson, Randy answers honestly, “I feel funny.”
“You sick? Don’t fuckin’ throw up on me, man-“ Benson starts to move and try to get Randy off, but that makes him cling tighter, ‘cause that’s not what he meant. And he’s not done being held.
Randy tries again to explain it, “No, I- I feel warm. I-In my tummy.”
Fuck.
••••
^^ unedited so it may change a little in the end when the full thing is finished and posted!! but here it issss for now mwah mwah thank you wormy love u
omg…. micro peen randy >__< being so embarrassed since he’s pretty tall but has the dick of a toddler! benson thinking he has to be at least average/above average but nope!! itty bitty randy 🙂↕️
wormyyyy I’m losing my mind!!! Micro penis Randy!!!!! 🤤🤤
It’s *so* small it’s like a little clit situated at the top of his sac <3 <3 There’s NO difference when he’s hard, it’s too tiny to get erect! His poor puffy balls looking like they haven’t even dropped yet cause it’s all so small! When he cums it’s the most pathetic little amount ever but his reactions are so huge cause he’s really sensitive!! All that pleasure bundled up in one tiny package <3
Of course he’s soooooo embarrassed about it, locker rooms in school permanently has even grown up him terrified of anybody finding out and making fun of him. Poor pent up, shy little thing, too humiliated to ever use what he’s got to try to feel good! Cause he doesn’t even know other ways to get off then jerking it and he’s just too little for that! There’s basically nothing there that wouldn’t fit between his finger and thumb!!!
Incontinent because his little cock is too small to have total control, and he just leaks pee sometimes 😵💫😵💫 Pull ups and his micropenis <3 Poor Randy’s little embarrassing secrets! This is the appeal for Benson. Straight up, he probably would’ve been exaggerating the size difference to make Randy blush anyways. The fact he’s *actually* absurdly small makes him so mischievously giddy. Big sharp smile on his face once he gets Randy’s pants down and realizes.
Putting his palm over the entirety of Randy’s cock and balls, rubbing him and making him hump, cause that’s how he’s got to get off when he’s so itty bitty. ‘Course, getting him to come untouched is the ultimate goal. Only letting him feel good if it’s with something up his ass. Using bigger and bigger toys than his own thick cock to stretch Randy to his limit and tease him for never being able to do that. Describing the warm, velvety, perfect feeling of a nice hole around him that he can’t have cause he’s too tiny. Making him cry <3 Can’t even fit a cage on that tiny tiny useless peen!
Taking away Randy’s boxers and giving him panties instead. Since he has nothing to fill them up anyway. Picking especially small and silly pairs. Cute patterns and childish bright colors, to drive it in. Randy’s just his baby girl with those parts <3 <3
The hormonal problems that made Randy develop so small also causing a little chest growth. The softness and roundness in his chest, two perfect little breasts. Puffy nipples more receptive than and standing even taller than his little dicky. Driving it home even further how he’s Benson’s girl.
He never ever stops being shy about it. There’s no point where he’s just used to Benson teasing, it stays humiliating. Because Benson’s gonna find as many ways as possible to torture Randy about it. And it’ll feel so good Randy never really fights it. Equating him to his parts, it’s better than no identity or personality at all. Being soft and little and unmasculine is kinda what he was doing already, so it’s nice that this teasing, it’s to make him feel good!! Not like the bullying he’d faced before. Whichhhhh admittedly *did* have his little cock *trying* to get hard but he’s almost lucky it was too small to react to the harassment. If Benson ever found *that* out, that locker room bullies twice his size stealing looks and shoving him around and calling him names had started a fire in his belly to draw from, he’d use that for SURE. Benson would probably never *actually* be willing to share his baby, but the idea of a circle of guys all bigger than tiny little Randy taking turns using and mocking him gets them both going.
Tiny cock Randy😘💕☺️💗 I could think about this forever and ever wormmmm <3 <3 loves you loves you loves you <3 <3
anymore thoughts on age play ranson and maybe even mama benson n his little boygirl randy? :3
always!!! love little Randy forever and ever <3 and love u wormy mwah!!! <3
Baby boygirl Randy wants pigtails in her hair!! It’s not even very long yet, but she has a cabbage patch baby dolly with little ribbons tied into her hair that make two little tiny ringlets! And you pull ‘em and her hair gets so long and pretty! But she’s shyyyyyy she’s the shyest baby ever and doesn’t know how to ask Benson to do her hair. Having the big talk about liking girly stuff was scary, and even though it ended up fine she doesn’t wanna sit down and feel embarassed trying to find her words again!!
Plus they don’t have anything to tie her hair up with anyways. It’s silly to make it such a big deal. Makes her cheeks flush if she thinks about it. Only, she thinks about it so so much, that bashful little glow and fidgety demeanor gets noticed. Of course it does! Benson is so attentive. He washes and brushes her hair already. Getting all silly when she’s sat on the floor, leaned back between his knees so he can reach it all good to brush and dry her curlies, ‘course that’s how she gets caught.
She’s got her baby dolly held in her lap, twisting her perfect piggies around her fingers, until she realizes why she’s doing it and holds her doll to her chest, hiding what she was doing. Above her, Benson stops with her hair and asks, “What you hiding, baby?” Not in his angry voice, this sounds like he thinks it’s funny.
“Nothing, mama..” Randy lies immediately. It slips out so easy, calling Benson mama. He does everything her old mama used to, without hurting her feelings all the time. He’s not a daddy ‘cause those don’t come around. He loves her like a mommy and Randy’s tummy feels better about having a mama that takes care of her, since she’s more of a girl now too than she used to be. It’s not weird anymore.
Benson isn’t impressed with the quickness and guilt of her answer though. He tugs the very back of her hair so she has to tip her head back and look up at him. Gentle hands come around her, one loose down her chest, the other holding her throat. Benson bends over her to look her in the eye even closer, “You know better than to lie to your mama. Tell me, baby.”
“Want.. want you- this!” Articulating it doesn’t work, so, even though she’s really good and doesn’t look away from her mama, she holds up the baby doll she has.
Benson looks at it, tilts his head before looking back at her. Not getting it. “You have it, baby. She’s right there.”
“No I-“ Randy swallows her struggle to answer, the action probably able to be felt under the warm hand on her throat, “I wanna look like Baby.”
“You do, pretty girl. Got that blonde hair and freckles on your cheeks.” He strokes Randy’s face, careful and soft, and it tickles, makes her scrunchy her nose up and smile.
It’s silly, ‘cause that’s not what she meant. Randy knows her face turns a little pink, blushing about having to correct Benson. “No, mama. I meant- her piggies. I want- I wanna have piggy tails like Baby.”
“That’s all?” Benson lets go of her and tips his head back to laugh, “You could want my cigarettes out my pocket and I’d give ‘em to you. ‘Course you can have your hair did up.”
Thinks about it for another second and laughs again, “Thought you were gonna tell me somethin’ serious, baby. My heart was skippin’.”
Bashfully, Randy tries to turn around, to promise that wasn’t true, but gets both hands on her shoulders holding her still, “S’alright. You were a good girl speaking up.”
An automatic, “Thank you, mama.” Because her cheeks and her belly get warm at the same time, when she’s called a good girl. Even when she’s more like a boy, she still likes to be called a girl. When it’s teasing and a little mean and low in mama’s voice, being baby girl or good girl gives her shivers. That Benson can probably see with the way they’re sitting.
“Haven’t even done anything yet. You’re still two piggy’s shy. And I got nothin’ to fix it.” Benson declares, ‘cause they really don’t have anything to tie her hair up with. Rubber bands would rip the curls out probably, and she’s allergic to those anyways. Latex has been a problem for a lotta reasons.
“Baby has ribbons.” Randy declares it, ‘cause she wants them to match exactly. With all kinds of colors of little bows to hold her hair up.
“What, a bread tie and a shoelace wouldn’t be enough for my baby?” Benson offers, sarcastic about what they’ve got. Just teasing though.
It’s silly and makes Randy roll her eyes, she can have attitude too, “Nooooo..”
A love tap to her cheek, her little warning to not push it, “Don’t be a brat.”
But Randy does end up getting exactly what she wants. Bows, clips, barrettes, fuzzy ponytails, and rolls and rolls of pretty ribbon. Since her hair is short, they can only get a tiny amount of the top layer of her hair into the piggies, but she likes it. It’s not like her cabbage patch, but it does remind her of a Cloe bratz baby dolly she remembers seeing at the store. She wasn’t allowed to buy it cause it was before she met her new mama Benson, but she had long flippy hair in the back and little piggies on top like Randy has to do her hair. It makes her feel so so pretty.
She gives Benson a million thank you kisses, sitting in his lap after getting her hair done all special, pressing messy kisses all over. Little but in a big lovey mood ‘cause she was so happy. It couldn’t all stay in side. And mama didn’t get upset at it, so it was allowed. That’s their rule for kissies and touches, they’re always allowed even if Randy’s small. They just have to stop if someone says. And no meany stuff with the little one. Biting and scratching and stuff.
But this is cozy. Flicking her head back and forth, feeling her curly little piggy tails bounce, getting so excited so had to hold on tighter to her Benson. Hiding her face in his chest, whining when he strokes her hair cause she doesn’t want her new pretty style to get messed up. Tilting up and pressing a tiny kiss on his scruffy face instead. He touches her hair again and she gets impatient, taking his hands and putting them down lower instead, in between Randy’s thighs so she can squish them and keep them there.
He snorts at her passive-aggression, smirk on his flushed mouth, “That a suggestion, sweets?”
It wasn’t, but the idea feels good. Twisting as excitement in her belly, twitching between her legs. She’ll pretend so she can have what she wants now, since she already got her hair special like she wanted. A little spoiled. “Please?”
Benson hums, leaning back so she can tell he’s waiting for an answer and won’t give in until he has it, “Please what, baby girl?”
Randy worries her lip before lighting up,“Please.. mama?”
The right answer, ‘cause she gets exactly what she wants. Again. Always. That’s why they left home. So Benson can give her anything she wants. Hard to be a spoiled rotten baby girl in their old life. With nosy mom and mean old work and an all around ugly town. She only has one mama now, and he’s better to her. Silly to be nervous about her hair at all. But Randy’s just like that. It’ll probably happen again and resolve again the same way. She has been thinking about asking for a binky, but getting shy. Even though she’s little, she didn’t used to get that little in her mind to need one. Maybe she’ll bring it up, or she’ll just get caught thinking again. It’s sort of a thrill, letting mama figure it out and catch her. Some kind of edge that lights up her whole body with tingly excitement at being known.
It feels kind of like the growing hair on her doll. Tugging and tugging until the little ringlets of pretty hair are extended to their limit, so they release and snap back, delicately protected inside. Release for Randy, in the dynamic of letting Benson be a good mama to her, and in being his little baby. Like it just feels good.
Literally cannot stop thinking about your latest fic, Usually when there is a kid fic in the fandom Benson is the one than ends up being a Father but you did such a splendid job with your character study for our boy Randy!
The dynamic between Benson and Linden was to die for, I would loooove to know how would you explore their dynamic some years down the line, will he ever get in with the program and coparent that child???
Anyways thank you so much, i honestly such a good time reading, It was so heartbreaking and also unexpectedly sweet, especially getting into Randy’s head, the craftsmen ship of how curated his compulsion were, bravo!
aw thank YOU!!!!! I appreciate it a whole whole lot cause this fic meant a lot to me <3
as for the future, I liked leaving it kinda vague where they feel like they’ve got their happily ever after, but fate and consequence and justice could catch up to them any old day. We don’t know if they’re okay! buttttt just for funsies if they lasted out on their little farm, I think the only one doing changing is Linden. Randy’s so afraid of his kid growing up and realizing how much trauma he has, so he tries to shelter him and pretend he’s little forever. And Benson’s set the line, he’s not gonna get any closer to the kid until he’s grown. I think maybe he’ll soften just a little in that he could care more about Linden as like an individual and not just a fragile thing to be protected, but he refuses to cross into parent territory because of what parents in general represent to him. At best he’s a weird cousin to the kid or something. Which kinda resets the cycle. Linden is a whole lot like Randy was when he was little, but in this case, there’s not the sexual abuse that was hinted at going on in Randy’s life. Never ever. Still, he’s gonna be a frustrated, emotionally unstable kid like Randy.
I don’t specify Linden’s condition in the fic because of lack of diagnosis in their story. I do picture that he’s autistic, which is pretty greatly hinted at especially since Randy has some of those behaviors too. But, I also intended for him to have a more serious undiagnosed condition. William’s Syndrome can present outwardly very similar to autism, but it has physical consequences that would go unnoticed without treatment. There’s a typical phenotype associated with it that influences the features of a kid, but again without knowing any of that you probably wouldn’t think twice about it. So going undiagnosed there’s a whole bunch of symptoms in Linden’s body that are affecting his health constantly. Things like multiple heart problems, blood pressure and blood sugar problems, gastrointensinal problems that can get pretty severe and the risk of developing seizures would all put his little life at risk. Randy’s fears of losing his kid aren’t unjustified and that’s why I included them! Because I do picture that Linden dies very young. Sorry that’s kind of a bummer but I don’t picture them lasting out there forever. Somewhere between like 6 and 11 I think the little guy would pass. I’ve gone back and forth with myself if it’s a peaceful in his sleep kind of deal, or if it’s painful and traumatic. Both have narrative relevance but the consequences would be different. If it was calm and easy, I think there’s a chance Randy can move on and survive the guilt. If it’s violent, he’s gonna be such a wreck and I don’t think he’d pull through it. They *do* still have the murder suicide back up plan after all. He’s gonna beg for death and Benson’s gonna think he’s a coward but he’ll do it so Randy doesn’t hate him. They’re ultimately both selfish and getting away with murder and running away is gonna make them feel untouchable after a while. The fears fade and then uh-oh, the dream collapses and what do they do. I don’t think the answer looks so good for them.
but! That’s why I left it open ended, because there’s at *least* three years before any of that! They do get to be happy for a while! I just wanted to leave it on a bittersweet note where life isn’t perfect but it’s looking okay for a time. Ending the fic there I felt leaves them in this limbo where nothing bad has to happen anymore. Until of course it does, but I’m not writing it so then we can all pretend it’s fine, like Randy and Benson are!! yay!
anyway thank you again I’m so so happy you and other folks liked it so much!!! I loved throwing this obstacle at them so I could deep dive into Randy’s miserable little mind but I’m glad the sweetness came through too! I did love them and love this dynamic I built cause I like the happy parts, when they get to have them!! It’s not all bleak even if the overarching theme sort of it! it was so fun to write <3 yayyyy thank you thank you <3 <3