sheepfilms
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
★
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RMH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Discoholic 🪩
dirt enthusiast
AnasAbdin
shark vs the universe
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
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DEAR READER
Andulka
will byers stan first human second
styofa doing anything
Jules of Nature
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
d e v o n
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seen from Indonesia
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@charyzard
honestly for me this situation isnt drawing a single bead of sweat first i grab the tiger's jaw with both hands and pry it open, quickly bandaging the wounds i received (didn't hit anything important) and pushing the tiger away while simultaneously falling into my grizzly bear stance and watching as the tiger scurries away with its tail betweens its legs at the sight of my massive shoulder humps. i roar defiantly and catch three dozen salmon at the river
I'd summon twin scythes
really cool
Catch me being a modern-day cyberpirate screaming up alongside you on the 405 in my mad max car with half a bitcoin farm's worth of RAM in the backseat as I hack your Bitchless Towyota™ device and steal the boat you're towing right off the back bumper of the tesla your dad bought you
As i roar into the sunset you have to swerve* to avoid the small flotilla of hacked Towyota devices trailing behind me
(*in fact you do not swerve because you're on hands-free driving to go along with your hitch-free towing so you can only watch helplessly as your tesla mistakes your stolen booty for a small child and accelerates crashing into it and killing you instantly)
the french beatles
jean, paul, george, et ringeaux
Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:
“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”
“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”
Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”
“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”
“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”
“WHY QUESTION???”
To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.
“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”
“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”
“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”
“WHY QUESTION?????”
Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.
Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.
Curious Tiger Chews on Cardboard Tube in His Outdoor Enclosure
@toasthaste
i eat your grandads clothes
Macklemoth
I looove when food is in a bowl. Frequently plates are being brought out and I'm thinking this could've been a bowl meal but nobody gets it
thinking about creatures.
look at this thing
Tumblr users will see some kind of animal or beast and just slam the reblog button
That is a banded linsang.
They sit very politely.
coping mechanism <3
basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg
dog i gotta move like yesterday
I see your “Rocky swears like a sailor but only in pitches humans can’t hear/refuses to teach Grace what those words mean” and raise you “Rocky swears like a sailor and now has to explain to Grace that ‘bad bad bad’ isn’t actually a sequence you play on your Eridian speech piano in polite company.”
Grace is both horrified and amused to realise that a more accurate translation for what Rocky’s been saying is “shit shit shit”.
Eridian government representative: Greetings Rocky, Saviour of Erid, and Grace, Saviour from Beyond the Stars. We are pleased to welcome you home.
Grace, haltingly on the keyboard Rocky built for him: Wassup bitches. Fucking jazzed to—
Rocky: GRACE STOP TALKING NOW NOW NOW I EXPLAIN LATER
i AM gonna start writing!! i just need to clean my desk, reorganize my 50 empty notebooks, play with my cats, stare out the window like a victorian poet, and then maybe spend two hours finding the perfect playlist. it’s called process.
Cunty little thing isnt it
have you guys heard about the greenland shark. some crazy shit happening there.
they are sexually mature at ONE HUNDRED AND FIFTY YEARS OLD.
their (live!) young gestate for. wait for it. eight to eighteen (??) YEARS. can have up to 10 at a time. good grief.
longest lifespan of any vertebrate, up to five hundred years
toxic flesh
has giant eyes but is usually blind because of a weird little crustacean that's evolved to live on and eat their eyes. this doesn't seem to bother them much.
lives in deep cold water and has the lowest swim speed and tail-beat frequency for its size across all fish species. just generally lives life in extreme slow motion
largest genome of any shark
eats everything including moose and polar bears
ma'am you are delightfully strange and I'm privileged to share a planet with you
this post prompted me to refresh my memory on Greenland Shark Facts and this detail about how they feed goes so hard
just vacuuming up their unsuspecting prey. whole !
Good news good news good news! Recent research suggests the eye parasites do NOT blind them!
Dorota Skowronska-Krawczyk sits in her office, eyes fixed on the computer monitor in front of her. "You see it move its eye," says the UC Ir
I <3 you a normal amount Greenland sharks
