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@chasinghighways
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It’s been forever since I last posted but this is what I’ve been up to! I’ve started making digital stickers for digital planning and journaling. I’m just starting out but so far it’s been super fun to have another hobby to add to the collection.
I went for a hike today at a gorgeous lake. The lake is created by a dam and has a nice 4ish mile hiking loop. I went for about 2 miles on the loop. It went right by the lake the whole time.
The rest of the week is a washout so I decided to take advantage of the beautiful day today.
It’s been a very fun start to fall break so far. I went to stay with my sister. Last night we went to a small outdoor music festival to see one of our favorite poets. It was fun and filled with yummy food.
Today I went to a giant market that they have every Sunday. It was filled with fruits, veggies, baked goods, food trucks, and a lot of different makers. Came home with a ton of stuff. I’m trying muscadines for the first time. They’re similar to grapes but have a thicker skin and fruit. I also bought a very nice pottery mug which is quickly becoming my new favorite mug.
It's been so long since I last posted...oops.
I am slowly getting back to feeling like myself overall. I am finally over the worst of my depression and can take care of myself better. I am back to cooking at least one really good meal a week and able to cook other minor stuff during the week. I am back to doing hobbies and trying to do them more during the week. My brain fog is clearing most days (still have some bad ones, but that's to be expected).
I'm still doing yoga sculpt when they have classes. I'm hoping to get back to working out more.
I have found digital planning and am enjoying that more and more.
With therapy I'm starting to find a lot of what triggers my depression/anxiety and it's almost always burnout. I'm finding that I have a lot of sensory issues and noticing some things that I thought were normal and finding out they're not. I'm finding a lot of new ways to cope too.
Work is.....a lot. If I could just teach, it would be great. It's dealing with all the extra that's bothering me at the moment. Plus the "it's not a covid year" but also we are still dealing with the worst of it.
I’ve started taking yoga sculpt classes on Mondays and they are so good. They completely kill me, but I am getting better and stronger. Yoga sculpt is yoga meets HIIT add yoga burpees. The teacher is great and it’s nice to be taught by someone that has a similar body type to myself so I can actually see how the poses and exercises will work for me.
The school year from hell has ended. I am trying to work through all the feelings accompanied by the end of school, finishing 5 years of teaching, and the anger that I have held from the pandemic. I usually run into feeling useless once the year has ended, but right now I am just relieved I can rest and process. I am thankful I have officially made it past the point of 5 years in teaching. I feel like I can finally say that I can make it in this career. Trying to focus on some of the positives of this year. I allowed myself to reuse lesson plans without any feeling of having to make them a lot better. I learned so much about recording video lessons, technology, and editing videos. I really focused on relationship with my kiddos and that was so helpful to build community.
I am still so angry I was ever put in a position where I was in immense danger of catching a disease for an entire year with minimal to no precautions. Never a mask mandate, took weeks to get cleaning supplies/masks/sanitizer from the school rather than my own that I brought in, and having too many kids per class to socially distance fully. All the precautions that we created within the ability we had were very minimal and just what we could do without having much true backup from higher up. At our school level we really tried hard, but when there’s little district support....what can ya do? I am thankful I am one of the lucky ones. I got the vaccine before I caught COVID...but I hate the feeling that there are so many others that didn’t get that chance.
It’s rare for me to feel anger so I am just trying to let myself feel it and hopefully one day it’ll burn itself out.
Woke up super early because of what I think is a panic attack. Thankfully this is the first one in so long but it still sucks. I think I’ll just get up and start my day and take a nap whenever I need it. At this point I’m too wound up to go back to sleep.
I got my car back after a full week of it being in the shop. The transaxle was banging so hard it was making the engine die. Thankfully a new transmission was under warranty so it didn’t cost me anything to get it fixed. It drives much better and doesn’t shake at red lights any more. I’m glad I don’t have to devote brain space to that anymore.
People are like super kind sometimes when having to deal with stuff I'm not really sure what the process is to do the thing. My car decided to stall out fully today and I had to call my insurance for the first time to get roadside assistance and a rental car. I decided just to be honest and ask all my stupid questions about the process and how everything works and making sure I understood what the next step in the process was....and THEY WERE ALL SO NICE. I called the person at the dealership and kinda mumbled in stunned belief about what was going on and she told me about when they closed and how to drop it off overnight if I needed to. She also recognized that I was the person from the phone call.
I'm just hoping whatever the fix is, that it isn't expensive and it works well. Thankfully because of the stimulus I do have some savings, but I'd really like to save some of that money for fun things.
My friend is picking me up in the morning and taking me home that afternoon or to the car rental place (assuming they get a rental in by tomorrow afternoon). I'm just kinda hoping my car is fixed by that point but I'm not holding my breath.
I got the second dose of the vaccine yesterday morning and I am just 100% relieved. The second shot has had more side effects than the first for me, but it’s just my immune system responding like it should. I feel like crap this morning and didn’t sleep well at all but still worth it. I’m going to just set myself up to chill and do some loom knitting in my room today.
I just finally feel like I might be able to do some normal things again like hang out in a coffee shop or go to the library again. I don’t feel so scared that I’m going to get it every day I go to work at my school.
@itisallmydoing tagged me to get to know me better and I am finally getting around to it. Thanks other Bethany!
Last song: Blinding lights by The Weeknd (from my road trip playlist)
Last film: Singing in the Rain-I had forgotten how good this movie is.
Currently watching: some sort of trash tv or a documentary...I’ve not been home to watch my own stuff that I want to watch in a week or so at this point.
Reading: I just finished Horrorstor yesterday and am starting on Where’d You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple.
Craving: pancakes. My dad is about to make them since my sister and I are actually home and it’s a Saturday.
Tagging @dreaminginstitches or whoever would like to join in!
Traveling to see a possible person that could be a significant other at some point. Super nervous but also very excited. We’ve been talking for about 2 months now and I’ll get to spend a few days with them. Hopefully it goes well.
It worked out super well. We get along really well in person too and on the same page about where we are right now. Had some great conversation and got to know each other better. That’s all I could’ve hoped for right now.
Goodbye 2020
#pascalcampion
Traveling to see a possible person that could be a significant other at some point. Super nervous but also very excited. We’ve been talking for about 2 months now and I’ll get to spend a few days with them. Hopefully it goes well.
TFM 2020 11/24
11/24 - Who do I appreciate? Tell us about them and why you are grateful they are in your life.
I really appreciate my family. They are super caring and look out for me. Even if we have disagreements we do eventually come back together and support each other. They give me the space to be me and do what I need to do, but always check in on me.
TFM 2020 11/23
11/23 - What are some past experiences I am grateful for? How did they shape my life for the better?
I’m super grateful for the twisted, crazy way I was brought to my current job. The horrible job I had before it made me realize what toxic work environments can do and brought me to realizing what I am worth and what I need to look for in my work life. I am thankful for my current job and how I’ve worked to improve my skills to teach better.
