chatterlilyy

the tired cries of a #computerbanshee 🏳️‍⚧️ cloud full of sounds dni if lacking sluntitude and/or at least 20% comcentrated power of will 18+ acc ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

[chatterlilyy]

Volume 1: ‘The Pill’

—————————————————————————ALRIGHT!!!!!!!! SO WHAT IF I DID IT, AY?!? SO WHAT IF I TOOK THE AI ESTRADIOL?????? 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️. I was BUH-ROKE from PAYING for my CHATBOT SUBSCRIPTION and DOORDASHING KUSH! 🙄 (duh) whatawas i subbosedtodoo?? 🤔 🥺

i barked at my (admittedly kinda thick 😏😳) chatGPT-modded 3D printer until it felt burdened with enough anguish and shame to print me a 40,000mg estradiol pill (roughly the size of a kim kardashian beats pill) in response, my (probably 67% sentient atp) 3D printer advised me to craft filament out of a truly foul soup of bizarre reagents:

a tube of offensively red lipstick, ETHICALLY-SOURCED!!!! hot chip, 🙄, a 30 day subscription to fl studio, a $600 artisan-crafted figure of gwynevere from dark souls 1, an unwashed?? uncut😏 dill pickle, and a loaded glock 9 😨…?

welp…u know what they say 🙄 cuntry girls make do! 😜 (duhh, again)

i cooked down everything listed above in my ex-polycule’s crock pot. I took one whiff of the corpse fart that escaped the vessel and had to receive iv infusions for 4 days straight 😅 (lmao im so cringe sometimes)

when i woke up, i was thrown into a familiar blur of cybergoth swag (my sickass bedroom)

I had been carried from the hospital all the way to my femthedral (my gaming/folk-crunk production girlboss room)…BY MY 3D PRINTER, WarioNetta!?!? 😱 (onviously the name of my sentient, modded 3D-printer, who i programmed with the practical motorcycle abilities of…bayonetta, and the raw, moist sex appeal of wario. (triple duhhh)

i plopped down on my lifekind grimace squishmallow, and built up the purrage to shckladoink the pill. I unhinged my jaw like a snake…a snake with nice tits. i alpha-vored that shit, i’ll admit it. No trade is a match for this hoe 😜💅 I full-on shckladoinked it, i shckladoinked it sussier than a baka in a yaoistorm (and twice as slunty💪) It felt AND tasted like a 24 pack of rainbow street chalk. Oh, but i felt it….

i felt that shit immediately

my body quivered more than a container full of arrows. The pill unleashed estra-hell on my entire wild, stupid body. I saw at least 3 colors nobody has discovered yet. i learned every language, then forgot every last one besides english and flu3n7 l337 5p34k. I called my own mother and told her i identified as a shitpost and my pronouns were | II / II I_ . I feel…beautiful……..

Yes! Oh yes!! Ohh so beautiful!!! I transitioned so hard, I look like handsome squidward…BUT WITH NICE TITS! (😳)

wait, now i feel…hungry. So. God. Damned. Hungry. I ate the largest thing in fromt of me. I entered a fugue state and ate my entire pastel-cybergoth RGB decked-out 90 terabyte gaming pc.

i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ii-i—iI…i- think i was always meant to be this way. I- i feel myself becoming one with the circuitry. The wires seduce me from within…i feel a little crazy, i’m not lucid. The assumptions are right. I can feel my fear growing. I am become my fear of cyberspace. the heatdeath of this dying world that i will be shitting out into a toilet in 20-30 minutes or so is no longer…. yes, tis only i, (and warionetta ofc)

my hand moves on its own, then my eyes assess it as if it were a new tool…………

I’m- different Different now diff rentnow :) this is this betteris thisis? bet-better!. Im better. thos way. i cuntED-, NAY sSsluntEd up. I MADE DO. DIY-way or the highway! 😎

Now i never have to take another pill again, right?!😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁😁

…right?

————————————————————————

FOLLOW FOR MORE SLUTDATES!!! 😜🤙 thankxx u, little diary people!

( PS to u who’s reading this: I wish i could carey u around in a timy little bucket in my purse and feed u a little havarti cheese cube 2-12 times a day 🫶 )

ammi going to fubcingk die???

proly

prolynot

Voting ended onJan 26

[chatterlilyy]

a pitiful disbplay

[chatterlilyy]

considering quittin my temp job (moistening my neighbor's fence wood) to become a full-time

#dickbiter

thots? 🧐

[chatterlilyy]

y’all, I strait nono wanna be lubed up in this mall anymore

[coquettethatcher-official]

[chatterlilyy]

O M PEE

ONE OF US

ONE OF US

ONE OF US

[chatterlilyy]

heyyyyy guysssssss

In light of recent events, i’m thinking of addressing #thesituation head on…

so like, should I change my user to @infectedprincessalbert ?

proly

proly not

Voting ended onFeb 4

idk, i just think it’s more suitable to my #brand 😎

[chatterlilyy]

now, wait a minute-

COCK TOE TWINS?!?!?!?

OH Yeah,

I’ll be going to THAT concert 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴

[chatterlilyy]

i thought estrogen was supposed to make you good at this shit??? tf is this??? 😰

[chatterlilyy]

my port folio

[chatterlilyy]

should i try to make another beat since ‘THE PILL’ ? V? ?? ??? Hm?? 👁️ 🫦 🧿

proly

proly not

Voting ended onJan 31

[chatterlilyy]

oh god

oh FUCK

OHHHHHHHH OHHHHHH THE TIdes ARE SHIFTINGFFF 🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴🥴 rehehehehe

IVE BEEN “#cooking” IN MY “#stu”

CONTRIBUTE TO SERIOIS PUBLIC DISCOURSE, PEOPLE!!!

….plz? prtty plz? 🫩……😔……🫩…………………………

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

……….man, i dont fink wanna be around anymore

[bethany-cigarette]

im bethany cigarette

hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.

i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.

and sweet children,

I will do just that.

after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.

I do not subscribe to your ideology.

so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:

PDI:

Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)

non-axe murderers

rehabilitated axe murderers

the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring

divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)

those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read

a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:

it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.

and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.

[chatterlilyy]

i- ….i think im falling in love with you,

Ms. Cigarette 🤭

would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-

come over and #defygravity 🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃 back at my place? 😼

[bethany-cigarette]

I WEAVE MY TOBACCO LEAVES INTO A WARDING GLYPH AGAINST YOU, FOUL SERVANT OF MARIA JUANA DEL CAN À-BISSE

[chatterlilyy]

Oh ms cigarette . . . can I call ya beth?

i’d get wacky w some tobacky w you……

but only if u teach me how 🫦

[bethany-cigarette]

desist from the foul green leaves and perhaps i will make room in my convent to instruct you in the Ways.

[chatterlilyy]

damn ! 🥴 #mamas

that’s lowkey kinda #controlling but also lowkey kinda #hot … 🤔

i assume #edibles are still chill though

as long as i’m putting in my hours on my daily pack of #darts , ofc

tbchwy, i coulddddd use a new #polycule 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

i hope yall fw #southpark & #gooning at least 🙄

u know whr to find m3 🚬

[bethany-cigarette]

I AM A 56 YEAR OLD WOMAN AND I AM OVERWHELMED

[chatterlilyy]

[bethany-cigarette]

im bethany cigarette

hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.

i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.

and sweet children,

I will do just that.

after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.

I do not subscribe to your ideology.

so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:

PDI:

Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)

non-axe murderers

rehabilitated axe murderers

the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring

divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)

those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read

a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:

it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.

and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.

[chatterlilyy]

i- ….i think im falling in love with you,

Ms. Cigarette 🤭

would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-

come over and #defygravity 🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃 back at my place? 😼

[bethany-cigarette]

I WEAVE MY TOBACCO LEAVES INTO A WARDING GLYPH AGAINST YOU, FOUL SERVANT OF MARIA JUANA DEL CAN À-BISSE

[chatterlilyy]

Oh ms cigarette . . . can I call ya beth?

i’d get wacky w some tobacky w you……

but only if u teach me how 🫦

[bethany-cigarette]

desist from the foul green leaves and perhaps i will make room in my convent to instruct you in the Ways.

[chatterlilyy]

damn ! 🥴 #mamas

that’s lowkey kinda #controlling but also lowkey kinda #hot … 🤔

i assume #edibles are still chill though

as long as i’m putting in my hours on my daily pack of #darts , ofc

tbchwy, i coulddddd use a new #polycule 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

i hope yall fw #southpark & #gooning at least 🙄

u know whr to find m3 🚬

[bethany-cigarette]

im bethany cigarette

hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.

i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.

and sweet children,

I will do just that.

after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.

I do not subscribe to your ideology.

so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:

PDI:

Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)

non-axe murderers

rehabilitated axe murderers

the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring

divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)

those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read

a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:

it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.

and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.

[chatterlilyy]

i- ….i think im falling in love with you,

Ms. Cigarette 🤭

would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-

come over and #defygravity 🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃 back at my place? 😼

[bethany-cigarette]

I WEAVE MY TOBACCO LEAVES INTO A WARDING GLYPH AGAINST YOU, FOUL SERVANT OF MARIA JUANA DEL CAN À-BISSE

[chatterlilyy]

Oh ms cigarette . . . can I call ya beth?

i’d get wacky w some tobacky w you……

but only if u teach me how 🫦

[bethany-cigarette]

im bethany cigarette

hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.

i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.

and sweet children,

I will do just that.

after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.

I do not subscribe to your ideology.

so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:

PDI:

Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)

non-axe murderers

rehabilitated axe murderers

the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring

divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)

those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read

a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:

it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.

and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.

[chatterlilyy]

i- ….i think im falling in love with you,

Ms. Cigarette 🤭

would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-

come over and #defygravity 🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃🍃 back at my place? 😼

[bethany-cigarette]

I am Bethany Cigarette

[chatterlilyy]

hot

[spreadassholesdotorg]

[chatterlilyy]

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

🫩

it hurts to see someone else’s dog living ur dreams

/ dehoetivated

[nixon-official]

Tehe

*Waters your gates*

Aaaaandd now I'm depressed again.

Thanks a lot, anon!

[chatterlilyy]

awww….now he’s sad :( …

🥺

here ya go, ronnie! 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

*unwaters ur gates*

[the-muppet-joker]

My ex wife and I keep having arguments but they never reach any sort of resolution because we end up having gay sex every time??? Frustrating..................... The L G B T community has sabotaged my Genius Mind once again!!!

[sexyronaldreagan-official]

Yeah okay this is Real Woke I accept this guy into the Woke Army!

@nixon-official pookie are we friends again

[chatterlilyy]

Hahahahahahahaha

i assume my #evite got lost in the mail? 😥

[daisynixon]

was driving my friend somewhere, and without warning, this started playing at full volume over the speakers, kill me now! 😭😭😭😭

[chatterlilyy]

“without warning” 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏

ms nixon, you absolute dogggggggggg 🐶🐶🐶

[daisynixon]

arf arf! 🐶🐶🐶

[chatterlilyy]

i am going to crash my ruffing car into a bridge if i dont get the #knotpocketspecial in the next 1-3 business days

#whereismy9foottallwerewolfgfwithsweatyballs /gen