yโall, I strait nono wanna be lubed up in this mall anymore
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AnasAbdin
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oozey mess

if i look back, i am lost
๐ชผ
trying on a metaphor
Claire Keane
Aqua Utopia๏ฝๆตทใฎๅบใง่จๆถใ็ดกใ

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@chatterlilyy
yโall, I strait nono wanna be lubed up in this mall anymore
O M PEE
ONE OF US
ONE OF US
ONE OF US
heyyyyy guysssssss
In light of recent events, iโm thinking of addressing #thesituation head onโฆ
so like, should I change my user to @infectedprincessalbert ?
proly
proly not
idk, i just think itโs more suitable to my #brand ๐
now, wait a minute-
COCK TOE TWINS?!?!?!?
OH Yeah,
Iโll be going to THAT concert ๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด
Volume 1: โThe Pillโ
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโALRIGHT!!!!!!!! SO WHAT IF I DID IT, AY?!? SO WHAT IF I TOOK THE AI ESTRADIOL?????? ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ. I was BUH-ROKE from PAYING for my CHATBOT SUBSCRIPTION and DOORDASHING KUSH! ๐ (duh) whatawas i subbosedtodoo?? ๐ค ๐ฅบ
i barked at my (admittedly kinda thick ๐๐ณ) chatGPT-modded 3D printer until it felt burdened with enough anguish and shame to print me a 40,000mg estradiol pill (roughly the size of a kim kardashian beats pill) in response, my (probably 67% sentient atp) 3D printer advised me to craft filament out of a truly foul soup of bizarre reagents:
a tube of offensively red lipstick, ETHICALLY-SOURCED!!!! hot chip, ๐, a 30 day subscription to fl studio, a $600 artisan-crafted figure of gwynevere from dark souls 1, an unwashed?? uncut๐ dill pickle, and a loaded glock 9 ๐จโฆ?
welpโฆu know what they say ๐ cuntry girls make do! ๐ (duhh, again)
i cooked down everything listed above in my ex-polyculeโs crock pot. I took one whiff of the corpse fart that escaped the vessel and had to receive iv infusions for 4 days straight ๐ (lmao im so cringe sometimes)
when i woke up, i was thrown into a familiar blur of cybergoth swag (my sickass bedroom)
I had been carried from the hospital all the way to my femthedral (my gaming/folk-crunk production girlboss room)โฆBY MY 3D PRINTER, WarioNetta!?!? ๐ฑ (onviously the name of my sentient, modded 3D-printer, who i programmed with the practical motorcycle abilities ofโฆbayonetta, and the raw, moist sex appeal of wario. (triple duhhh)
i plopped down on my lifekind grimace squishmallow, and built up the purrage to shckladoink the pill. I unhinged my jaw like a snakeโฆa snake with nice tits. i alpha-vored that shit, iโll admit it. No trade is a match for this hoe ๐๐ I full-on shckladoinked it, i shckladoinked it sussier than a baka in a yaoistorm (and twice as slunty๐ช) It felt AND tasted like a 24 pack of rainbow street chalk. Oh, but i felt itโฆ.
i felt that shit immediately
my body quivered more than a container full of arrows. The pill unleashed estra-hell on my entire wild, stupid body. I saw at least 3 colors nobody has discovered yet. i learned every language, then forgot every last one besides english and flu3n7 l337 5p34k. I called my own mother and told her i identified as a shitpost and my pronouns were | II / II I_ . I feelโฆbeautifulโฆโฆ..
Yes! Oh yes!! Ohh so beautiful!!! I transitioned so hard, I look like handsome squidwardโฆBUT WITH NICE TITS! (๐ณ)
wait, now i feelโฆhungry. So. God. Damned. Hungry. I ate the largest thing in fromt of me. I entered a fugue state and ate my entire pastel-cybergoth RGB decked-out 90 terabyte gaming pc.
i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ii-iโiIโฆi- think i was always meant to be this way. I- i feel myself becoming one with the circuitry. The wires seduce me from withinโฆi feel a little crazy, iโm not lucid. The assumptions are right. I can feel my fear growing. I am become my fear of cyberspace. the heatdeath of this dying world that i will be shitting out into a toilet in 20-30 minutes or so is no longerโฆ. yes, tis only i, (and warionetta ofc)
my hand moves on its own, then my eyes assess it as if it were a new toolโฆโฆโฆโฆ
Iโm- different Different now diff rentnow :) this is this betteris thisis? bet-better!. Im better. thos way. i cuntED-, NAY sSsluntEd up. I MADE DO. DIY-way or the highway! ๐
Now i never have to take another pill again, right?!๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
โฆright?
โโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโโ
FOLLOW FOR MORE SLUTDATES!!! ๐๐ค thankxx u, little diary people!
( PS to u whoโs reading this: I wish i could carey u around in a timy little bucket in my purse and feed u a little havarti cheese cube 2-12 times a day ๐ซถ )
ammi going to fubcingk die???
proly
prolynot
a pitiful disbplay
i thought estrogen was supposed to make you good at this shit??? tf is this??? ๐ฐ
my port folio
should i try to make another beat since โTHE PILLโ ? V? ?? ??? Hm?? ๐๏ธ ๐ซฆ ๐งฟ
proly
proly not
oh god
oh FUCK
OHHHHHHHH OHHHHHH THE TIdes ARE SHIFTINGFFF ๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด๐ฅด rehehehehe
IVE BEEN โ#cookingโ IN MY โ#stuโ
CONTRIBUTE TO SERIOIS PUBLIC DISCOURSE, PEOPLE!!!
โฆ.plz? prtty plz? ๐ซฉโฆโฆ๐โฆโฆ๐ซฉโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆโฆ
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
โฆโฆโฆ.man, i dont fink wanna be around anymore
im bethany cigarette
hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.
i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.
and sweet children,
I will do just that.
after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.
I do not subscribe to your ideology.
so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:
PDI:
Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)
non-axe murderers
rehabilitated axe murderers
the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring
divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)
those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read
a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:
it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.
and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.
i- โฆ.i think im falling in love with you,
Ms. Cigarette ๐คญ
would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-
come over and #defygravity ๐๐๐๐๐๐ back at my place? ๐ผ
I WEAVE MY TOBACCO LEAVES INTO A WARDING GLYPH AGAINST YOU, FOUL SERVANT OF MARIA JUANA DEL CAN ร-BISSE
Oh ms cigarette . . . can I call ya beth?
iโd get wacky w some tobacky w youโฆโฆ
but only if u teach me how ๐ซฆ
desist from the foul green leaves and perhaps i will make room in my convent to instruct you in the Ways.
damn ! ๐ฅด #mamas
thatโs lowkey kinda #controlling but also lowkey kinda #hot โฆ ๐ค
i assume #edibles are still chill though
as long as iโm putting in my hours on my daily pack of #darts , ofc
tbchwy, i coulddddd use a new #polycule ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ
i hope yall fw #southpark & #gooning at least ๐
u know whr to find m3 ๐ฌ
I AM A 56 YEAR OLD WOMAN AND I AM OVERWHELMED
im bethany cigarette
hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.
i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.
and sweet children,
I will do just that.
after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.
I do not subscribe to your ideology.
so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:
PDI:
Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)
non-axe murderers
rehabilitated axe murderers
the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring
divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)
those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read
a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:
it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.
and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.
i- โฆ.i think im falling in love with you,
Ms. Cigarette ๐คญ
would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-
come over and #defygravity ๐๐๐๐๐๐ back at my place? ๐ผ
I WEAVE MY TOBACCO LEAVES INTO A WARDING GLYPH AGAINST YOU, FOUL SERVANT OF MARIA JUANA DEL CAN ร-BISSE
Oh ms cigarette . . . can I call ya beth?
iโd get wacky w some tobacky w youโฆโฆ
but only if u teach me how ๐ซฆ
desist from the foul green leaves and perhaps i will make room in my convent to instruct you in the Ways.
damn ! ๐ฅด #mamas
thatโs lowkey kinda #controlling but also lowkey kinda #hot โฆ ๐ค
i assume #edibles are still chill though
as long as iโm putting in my hours on my daily pack of #darts , ofc
tbchwy, i coulddddd use a new #polycule ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ
i hope yall fw #southpark & #gooning at least ๐
u know whr to find m3 ๐ฌ
im bethany cigarette
hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.
i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.
and sweet children,
I will do just that.
after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.
I do not subscribe to your ideology.
so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:
PDI:
Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)
non-axe murderers
rehabilitated axe murderers
the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring
divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)
those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read
a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:
it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.
and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.
i- โฆ.i think im falling in love with you,
Ms. Cigarette ๐คญ
would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-
come over and #defygravity ๐๐๐๐๐๐ back at my place? ๐ผ
I WEAVE MY TOBACCO LEAVES INTO A WARDING GLYPH AGAINST YOU, FOUL SERVANT OF MARIA JUANA DEL CAN ร-BISSE
Oh ms cigarette . . . can I call ya beth?
iโd get wacky w some tobacky w youโฆโฆ
but only if u teach me how ๐ซฆ
im bethany cigarette
hello. i am bethany cigarette, Matriarch Inhaler of the Leaves. i have reached my 72nd marlby of the week, and it has revealed to me my purpose.
i am a 56 year old woman. i have been an Inhaler of the Leaves for 41 years. and i have been told by the Curia of the Baccyleaves that i must impart my worldly wisdom and everpresent, effervescent joy onto the youths of this... this tumblr.
and sweet children,
I will do just that.
after viewing many tumblr "blogs" i have surmised that i must write a "Do Not Interact" or "DNI" list.
I do not subscribe to your ideology.
so instead i will be writing a "Please Do Interact" or "PDI" list. it is as follows:
PDI:
Inhalers of the Leaf, both present and former (together we will find a brighter tomorrow)
non-axe murderers
rehabilitated axe murderers
the morning breeze on my face in the middle of spring
divorcees (i am not one of you (stay safe), but i will help you get well soon)
those seeking wisdom from their elders. my lessons are many for those with eyes to read
a special note for future Inhalers of the Leaves:
it is not too late to find joy elsewhere, and it will never be too late to search again should you fall.
and to all, bethany cigarette reminds you that a cigarette pack can only be made of many cigarettes; many leaves. do not try to make a cigarette with just one piece of leaf.
i- โฆ.i think im falling in love with you,
Ms. Cigarette ๐คญ
would u wanna, idontknoww hehe-
come over and #defygravity ๐๐๐๐๐๐ back at my place? ๐ผ
I am Bethany Cigarette
hot
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*
๐ซฉ
it hurts to see someone elseโs dog living ur dreams
/ dehoetivated
Tehe
*Waters your gates*
Aaaaandd now I'm depressed again.
Thanks a lot, anon!
awwwโฆ.now heโs sad :( โฆ
๐ฅบ
here ya go, ronnie! ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
*unwaters ur gates*
My ex wife and I keep having arguments but they never reach any sort of resolution because we end up having gay sex every time??? Frustrating..................... The L G B T community has sabotaged my Genius Mind once again!!!
Yeah okay this is Real Woke I accept this guy into the Woke Army!
@nixon-official pookie are we friends again
Hahahahahahahaha
i assume my #evite got lost in the mail? ๐ฅ
was driving my friend somewhere, and without warning, this started playing at full volume over the speakers, kill me now! ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
โwithout warningโ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
ms nixon, you absolute dogggggggggg ๐ถ๐ถ๐ถ
arf arf! ๐ถ๐ถ๐ถ
i am going to crash my ruffing car into a bridge if i dont get the #knotpocketspecial in the next 1-3 business days
#whereismy9foottallwerewolfgfwithsweatyballs /gen
was driving my friend somewhere, and without warning, this started playing at full volume over the speakers, kill me now! ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ๐ญ
โwithout warningโ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
ms nixon, you absolute dogggggggggg ๐ถ๐ถ๐ถ