SAMSTEVE angst question for you, because i feel like Sammy never gets the angst/hurt/comfort end of things. What do you think Sam's bad days look like? Is he anxious? Shut down? Susceptible to flashbacks? How does Steve comfort him? :DD
ALRIGHT! HERE WE GO *cracks knuckles*... FINALLY at a keyboard to type out my thoughts on this. And I'm totally in this headspace since we've been talking about the Steve replaces Riley idea...
I feel like Sam has a few triggers that he just knows to avoid. I think they're simple things... but things you can find anywhere...
Sam doesn't go to Starbucks because the sound of the steam reminds him of something he can't quite place and takes him back. If he ever goes, he'll tell the person he's with that he'll grab a table outside while they get drinks. For this reason his order is usually very simple.
Something about the slamming of a screen door does it too. But that's not a sound he runs into much in DC... it's mostly when he goes home to visit his sister and her boys. Everyone back home has screen doors, and he hears it often. The boys know not to let the door slam when Uncle Sam is visiting. They close it softly. One time they forgot and Steve had to take Sam to their room for a while, and he was quiet for a good day or two after.
His response to these things? He shuts down entirely. Sam, normally outgoing and extraverted and always good for a laugh, just completely turns blank slate. It's his way of trying to keep everything inside. He doesn't want to hurt anyone because of his PTSD... so he refuses to externalize. Instead he just forces himself to shut down while he struggles internally. He loses so much time this way. Triggered... sitting down midday... blinking and realizing it's night, and not knowing if it's night of the same day or the following.
Up until Steve, he always went through it alone. The only way to get through was to let time pass... to let himself come back to himself. But with Steve... Steve has slowly learned what helps and what doesn't. Quiet helps; Steve finds a quiet place for them, whether it's inside a car with no radio on, or a bathroom with everyone else closed out but him and Sam. He also knows that Sam does best when touched, but not held; he doesn't like feeling confined when he's been triggered. Feeling confined makes him curl in on himself too tightly and hum until he feels safe again. Steve's voice always helps, acting (best as Steve can tell) as a lighthouse to bring Sam back to the world again; it seems to be the most useful of Steve's tools against Sam's PTSD. Crying helps. The few times that Steve's been able to use his voice to convince Sam to cry and let it out instead of keeping it in, Sam has improved more quickly.
But it still takes time. Steve isn't the immediate solution he would like to be. And when Sam comes back to him the recovery time is still significant. Several days, usually, until he starts to really smile again, and not just smile for show.
Phew!!!! I knew this would be a long one. I'm glad I waited to be at my computer... THANKS FOR THE ASK!!!
vaporwave
andulkaphoto
baratheonpilled
jacobvanloon
