Hi

I write things from time to time. New blog for my writing/fics, because why not. 25 NB

[cheese-sandwich30]

(Phil) Michael (Lester) In The Bathroom

Fandom: Phandom

Pairing: Dan/Phil

CW: Anxiety attack, drinking

Word count: 1560

Summary: After a fight with Dan during a VidCon party, Phil hides in the bathroom

A/N: I listened to Michael in the Bathroom the other day for the first time in forever and I got this idea of following the contents of the song into a fic. I used some of the lyrics, but mostly it was inspo for the fic. Hope you enjoy!

AO3 link

Vidcon was a hard time for Phil, but this year was truly ending with him. He was used to going back to his room alone every time there was a convention like this, getting bored of the party and needing his sleep more than a hangover the next day. Other people complained that he was almost always the first person to leave, but he didn’t care. He had never really cared much about what other people said. If he had, we wouldn’t have the career he currently had.

The only thing that kinda bothered him about going to bed early-ish was missing all the crazy things that tended to happen whenever Youtubers and alcohol were mixed. It was a good thing that Dan always stayed and filled him in with all the gossip the next morning while Phil ordered them room service pancakes for breakfast. They would sit in bed and Dan would take slow bites, telling him about who made out with who, and who threw their drink onto who’s face, and who spent the entire night in the bathroom without anyone knowing why. Phil liked hearing gossip without being involved in the drama.

The issue was that, tonight, he was the one hiding in the bathroom. 

He couldn’t pinpoint the moment everything had gone wrong, maybe it had been a myriad of things. He had been overwhelmed and Dan was nowhere to be found, and then, when he found him, he was way too drunk and no help. And then, at some point, they had started shouting at each other about things that at another point would be so small, but now they were like a mountain. Something about cereal, and about being late and other random things that they usually talked through were being screamed at each other while they were surrounded by friends and co-workers.

At some point, Phil has started running. He didn’t even realise where he was going until he had closed the door of the hotel’s hall’s very fancy toilet behind him. 

The sound of ‘Just fuck off, Phil!’ in Dan’s voice was still ringing in his ears. He fell to the floor, his back against the wall, and hugged his knees, trying to control his breathing. There was a banging in the door and Phil jumped.

“Some of us have to pee!” said a feminine voice on the other side. The public toilets were gender neutral at this hotel, but Phil knew this wasn’t the only bathroom on this floor.

“I’m on my period!” he shouted back. He wasn’t sure what compelled him to do that. It wasn’t going to work. He just wanted some alone time, some time to chill before he went back to all the eyes and cameras that would for sure be looking for him, he just couldn’t…

“It’s okay, honey, take your time!” He heard a pair of heels walking away and let out a deep breath. 

He was finally alone. For once, that feeling did not bring any comfort, maybe because being alone never excluded Dan. The two of them had been a pair for almost 6 years now. It felt weird not having him by his side, like half of himself was missing.

Phil weighed in his options. He could stay here, hidden, alone after Dan had left him to drink his body weight in alcohol and pretend to be someone he wasn’t; or he could go out, pretending to check a text on his phone to avoid conversation and then, sneakily go up to his room. Their room. He shared it with Dan. He couldn’t face him right now, not even in their room. He needed to cool himself a bit. So, he stayed.

In his loneliness, he wondered what Dan was doing. Was he as upset as he was? Was he ignoring everything they had gone through together and moving on? Was Dan having the time of his life while Phil felt like he was dying inside?

These questions tormented him, until his train of thought was interrupted by a loud noise. A drunk girl was singing “I wanna dance with somebody” in a high-pitched voice, which reminded him of the truth of the situation: He was at a party, hiding in the bathroom. It almost seemed cliché. In a different moment, he would turn to Dan, seeing him scrunch up  before he said: “Some people lose any musical talent they may have when they’re wasted.” And then Phil would laugh.

But Dan wasn’t here.

God, he felt so stupid. He shouldn’t have had that last cocktail, it was only making his head hurt and the room spin more than what his anxiety was already doing. He was already curled up in a ball, fighting off the urge to be sick as well as the tears. He felt so stupid. 

He tucked his head between his legs and he began to sob. He was so tired. Stupid drinks, stupid party, stupid VidCon, stupid Dan and stupid Phil. He tried to choke back his tears but failed again with that thought. He was sure his whole face was swollen and his eyes were red. 

He took a deep breath before standing up and going towards the sink. He was greeted by his sad face, eyes irritated due to the tears and the contact lenses, his face wet. There was no way he could go out, not looking like that. Not even saying that something got into his eye would save him. He needed to wait for a bit, until his face was dry at least. The dryer in the wall was not an option and there wasn’t any toilet paper left, so he just had to wait it out.

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

Shit. People wanted to use the toilet. Fuck, he needed time to think. He needed a plan. No, he needed Dan, and Dan wasn’t there. He was alone. Alone with his thoughts. Alone with—

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

“It’s occupied!” He yelled, trying to sound collected. He managed to say the entire sentence without his voice breaking. Maybe he’d be fine. Maybe—

Knock, knock, knock, knock.

“I-I’ll be out soon!” Now his voice did break. Oh no. How was he going to look in the eyes of whoever was waiting outside? They would know he’d been crying. They would know and this was a Youtubers party and everyone was filming and—

“Shit!” In his panicked state, he kicked his knee onto the toilet while trying to move… towards the door? As far away from it as possible? He didn’t know, he just needed to move. Now!

Phil’s own heartbeat was betraying him, he was sure whoever was outside could hear it as well. It didn’t matter that the music was so fucking loud, his hearbeat was now in his ears, banging his head. He shouldn’t have come. He should’ve gone to bed early. Hell, he should’ve stayed in London, or never left Manchester. Then, none of this would have ever happened and Dan, his Dan , would still be by his side, without any of this bullshit happening.

He reached for the sink again, turning on the tap. The water wasn’t cold, but it wasn’t hot either. It was just tepid. Still, he splashed some of it in his face. If he couldn’t dry his face, at least this was an excuse. He could say he lost his contact lens or that it irritated his eye and he needed to go back and take it out. It was a good plan. It would work. It—

It was quiet outside.

Nobody was knocking anymore.

Phil looked back at the mirror. He still looked like shit but, if he looked closer, he could see the boy he was six years ago. He could see the boy that had fallen in love with another boy and that, against all odds, had gotten the life he wanted. Dan and Phil. A duo, a pair. Like those cats in the shelter with a tag of “do not separate”. And now look at him. Alone at a party while Dan did God-knows-what with God-knows-who. It was just sad.

He looked back at the door. He knew what everyone would be saying. Loner, loser… He had been called all of that and more. He had taken worse. So, why couldn’t he take it now? The past few years, when YouTube got big and it became an actual job, he had always had Dan by his side. That’s what he was missing. The only one who understood him, who truly knew him well. Most of the people outside this room only knew his name, his online persona, the mask he put on for the world to see. He was so much more than that.

He took one last deep breath and reached for the door. 

As he opened it, a person who was previously leaning against it fell into him. He would recognise him everywhere. Dan. 

“Phil, are you okay? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said—” He stopped himself, as if he suddenly realised there were more people around them. “This party sucks. Wanna go to the room?”

Phil nodded. They began walking towards the elevators. Phil was still sad, still mad, still everything; but, as Dan linked their pinkies together, a new feeling emerged. The calm after the storm.

[holmesandtheroman]

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

[cheese-sandwich30]

Alone in the Dark

Fandom: MCU

Character: Bucky Barnes

Genre: Angst

Warnings: None

Word count: 362

Summary: Bucky Barnes has been through a lot. And now he suffers the consequences.

AO3 link

Bucky Barnes was dead. Or so he thought.

Bucky Barnes had been dead for decades, but now, the Winter Soldier was no more and he was still standing so, maybe, Bucky Barnes wasn’t dead after all. Reborn, perhaps, was a better word for what he felt. He had been given a second chance at life, and he wasn’t about to waste it. Ever since he had slowly snapped out of years and years of conditioning, he was trying to slowly discover who he was.

Was he the lively soldier who had lived almost a century ago? Was he the merciless killer they had trained him to be? Maybe he was neither. Maybe, in a way, he was both. Maybe, he was someone new.

One thing was certain though, he still drowned in the guilt that his memories as the Soldier provided. All that blood, all those deaths… He had put an end to so many lives, without caring. Oh, but now he cared. He cared so much it hurt. He cared so much that most nights, he was plagued by nightmares.

Everytime, he woke up in a cold sweat, not knowing where he was or who he was, trying to focus on something, anything, but the sticky feeling of blood all over his body. He had developed his own techniques with time. The nightlight he left on most nights helped him see he was in a safe space, instead of in his cryogenic cell. Breathing deeply, reminding himself of his humanness. Touching his face, his legs, any part of his body that was skin to skin contact, trying to avoid his metal arm. He had learned comfort in modern technologies as well, like the small tablet he had in his bedside table, in which he could watch videos of people playing games he didn’t understand, whose voices would lull him back to sleep.

Bucky Barnes was now a different person than who he once was. He believed he was broken in more ways than he could ever explain. However, Bucky Barnes was also healing. It would be a long process but, one day, he would finally know the person he had become.

[cheese-sandwich30]

Everybody hurts some days

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Spideypool

Warnings: None

Word count: 923

Summary: Peter and Wade realise their healing powers work a bit differently.

A/N: I'm late for day 3 of the Whumpril, because I had no internet connection lol

AO3 link

Having super healing powers was something Peter Parker was grateful for most days. With how often he got hurt, being able to stand up the next day without a visit to the hospital was great for both his job and his bank account. The only downside to his healing powers was the fact that it didn’t numb the pain. Yes, he healed fast, but the ache in his bones, muscles and tendons that were severely damaged or broken, was still there for a day or two. He had just learned to live with the pain.

There was a time in which he actually enjoyed it. The pain, that is. Right after Gwen had died, Peter had gotten into every fight he could find, coming back home battered and bruised and feeling sore for a few days. It was enough to numb his feelings, a way to get punished for the only thing he couldn’t forgive himself. He seeked that punishment every day, not caring about how fair it was. He just needed to hurt.

This was around the time when he met Deadpool.

At first, Peter hated him. Deadpool was everything he wasn’t: Careless, unafraid of death, and whimsical. He dove into danger and laughed in the face of those he fought. He talked to imaginary things and made weird looks to empty corners and he swore. A lot. In a way, he was everything Peter wasn’t and longed to be, and that is why he hated him. However, once he got over his initial resentment, they found in each other an unexpected kinship.

When Peter realised he actually had more things in common with him was when they finally told each other’s name. When Peter started calling him Wade, and Wade started sending him random dick pics every week, was when he started being fond of him. They bonded over movies and superpowers, and Wade marveled at how smart Peter was while Peter admired Wade’s way of being true to himself. 

The talk about the healing powers came a bit later.

“What do you mean it hurts to heal?” Wade asked, as they sat on the rooftop, eating a kebab after their joint surveillance run.

“Yeah, every time I heal, I feel sore for a few days.”

“Honey, I could leave you sore for a few days without you having to put your life in danger, if you know what I mean.” Sexual comments had become common between both men. Especially coming from Wade’s side. Peter often followed his game, but he was now too focused on the different reality he didn’t know they both lived.

“Wait, so you don’t feel pain when you heal?”

“Not really. I mean, I do feel pain, when someone hurts me, it does hurt. I just stop hurting once my wounds are healed. I don’t have any leftover pain.” Peter fell back onto the roof, trying to process. “So, Spidey, are you telling me all those times you were all bloody and hurt, you actually had a few shit days afterwards?”

“Uh-huh.”

“And you didn’t say anything?” Peter closed his eyes, not wanting to look at Wade. He knew he cared about him, more than most people in his life.

“Look, I thought you were also hurting. I thought our healing worked the same way!” Peter sat up as he screamed.

“Is that why every time I got injured, you came to my apartment to do a movie night the next day?” Peter put his mask back on, trying to hide his blush. So what if he cared about Wade? What if, for the first time since Gwen, he was feeling things that felt too big for his chest and he wanted to make sure Wade was safe and secure? What if this man who had come out of nowhere and who he couldn’t stand for a solid two months was now triggering a sexual orientation crisis that he hadn’t admitted to anyone out loud?

“Shut up, Wade.”

“It is! Admit it, Spidey, you care about me. Under that mask of indifference and angst, you care about me.” Wade was teasing, Peter knew this, but it had been a long week and he had been bottling up his feelings for so long, that a simple push made everything explode.

“Yes, I care about you! You are the most important person in my life without counting my Aunt May and I want you to be happy and fine and not hurt the same way I hurt almost every single day, because you matter to me!”

Wade stayed silent for a second, although, for Peter, it was more like an hour. His spidey-senses were alert, overwhelming him like they did whenever he got too anxious, but even with them, he didn’t expect the kiss Wade gave him through the mask. The texture of the fabric felt weird over his lips, so he pulled it up before kissing him back. Suddenly, every problem Peter had vanished in a second. The only thing left in the entire world was Wade and his rugged lips and the texture of his cheek under his fingers.

After a few minutes or a few hours—Peter didn’t really know—, they pulled away, both of them with red cheeks and breathing hard. Wade had a big dumb smile on his face and Peter smiled back.

“You should have told me how you felt, Spidey. I could’ve been the one making you sore all this time.” Wade winked.

“Shut up and kiss me again, you idiot.”

[cheese-sandwich30]

All Men Do is Lie

Fandom: MCU (Mia Stark AU)

Pairing: N/A

Genre: Angst

Warnings: None

Word count: 819

Summary: Tony Stark goes MIA. His sister Mia tries to find him.

AO3 link

“I’ll be home sooner than you think.” I hadn’t heard that sentence come out of my brother’s lips in, at least, five years. Not since I was a naive teenager who thought his older brother could do no wrong. Not before I was slapped by the reality of Tony Stark and the birth of Iron Man. Not since I thought I had lost my brother forever.

The message is clear now. The first time my brother had said that phrase to me, he had lied. He had known things were not alright, that he might not be able to make it back, but I had believed him. I had convinced myself he was alright. Even when he disappeared. It wasn’t until Pepper almost had a mental breakdown that I realised he might not be coming back. He had lied to me then, just as he was lying now.

The last time he said “I’ll be home sooner than you think”, he had gone MIA, gotten captured, and barely managed to survive. And then, he had come home, thinking I would welcome him with open arms. Instead, I didn’t talk to him for a week. He had lied. Consciously.  And I couldn’t tolerate that, not from the only family member I had left, not when he was supposed to be the one person I could trust in this stupid human world. It took me almost a month to be able to talk to him, but he didn’t give up during that time. He kept knocking on my door, and leaving me gifts on my bed almost daily. I knew it wasn’t easy for him either, but I was too hurt to care.

When we finally talked about it—one afternoon, after I got home, I asked him to come to the kitchen to talk, and I have never seen him run that fast again—, we decided to never use that sentence again, and to never lie to each other. My tolerance of lies is non-existent and I didn’t want something like this to pull me apart from my only family left, so we both agreed on it.

That is why, when he said those words again, so many years later, I knew something was wrong.

My first instinct was to call Pepper. If someone knew where my brother was at any time of the day, that was her. However, she had no idea. When someone goes missing, the first thing to do is report it to the police, but, if my brother is the person missing, then there is a different protocol to follow. Obviously, the first person to tell is either Pepper or me, after that, we need to hide this information from the news and the company so panic doesn’t set in. Then, it’s SHIELD time, or any Avenger that is free at the moment and who can help do an extensive search. Hopefully, we can find him before anyone notices and there is a public chaos that is impossible to control. 

The truth is, my brother is kind of a rockstar but without the musical talent to be one. Iron Man is an icon for so many people, and his disappearance or death could cause millions of people to freak out. And we definitely do not want that. So we always follow the protocol and it tends to turn out alright.

“I’ll be home sooner than you think.” The sentence was still tormenting me. He knew well enough what he was doing when he said that. He knew my fight or flight responses would kick up. 

I just hoped I would be able to find him in time.

In the end, it was Peter who found him first. The kid had some brains and I always felt like a proud mother hen whenever he did anything remotely genius, but after he told me he knew where my brother was, I almost pulled out the adoption papers. 

By the time we found him—and kicked a few guys’ ass on the way—, he was lying on the floor, bloody and bruised, and barely breathing.

“Fuck” I whispered, as I ran to him. There were other people having my back, I didn’t have time to worry about someone stabbing me from behind.

“Hey, little alien…” Tony said, with a broken voice.

“Shh, it’s okay, don’t worry. I’ve got you, I’ve got you.” I put my hands around him and started singing my healing song. I saw the wounds closing slowly and took a deep breath. “You’re gonna be fine.”

“You got my message.” He said, before coughing.

“You lied again.” I noticed the tears in my eyes as they were falling onto my brother.

“It was the only way of catching your attention. I’m sorry, Mimi.” I hugged him tightly, and he put an arm around my shoulder, giving me a kiss on the head.

“Let’s get you home.”

[cheese-sandwich30]

The Study of a Hug

Fandom: 9-1-1

Pairing: Buck x Eddie

Genre: Angst-ish

Warnings: None

Word count: 1034

Summary: Eddie has a long road ahead. He can't help but think about the meaning of home as he drives back to Texas.

A/N: I'm trying to to @whumpril this month. I also have a lot of things to do this month, so if I can do at least half the prompts, I will be happy

AO3 link

Eddie had been driving for a few hours now. He wouldn’t be home in at least another ten. Home was a weird word to describe where he was going. He was going back to Texas, to his parents, to his new house and, most importantly, to Christopher. However, even if he wanted to believe he was going home, he just didn’t feel like it. If he truly was going home, why did he feel like he was leaving half of his heart behind?

His mind lingered to that feeling, that emptiness, that he had felt ever since he had gotten inside the car. Ever since he had last seen Buck through the rear-view mirror. He looked at the cookies he had made him for a second. Both of them had barely time to sleep that day and, instead of resting, he had decided to bake some cookies for him. He couldn’t think of anyone else in his life who would do that for him. 

Thinking back on it, Buck was truly his only constant in his life for the past few years, aside from Christopher. He had seen his highs and his lows, and had been there to, metaphorically and physically, hold his hand through all the hardships he had endured. He couldn’t imagine his life without Buck.

This wasn’t the first time he had that thought. There had been multiple instances in their precarious lives in which Eddie had tried to imagine a life without Evan Buckley in it and had failed to do so in order to avoid a panic attack. Not even when either of them had been close to death, which was more often than what they would like to, he had entertained the thought. They hadn’t talked about it, but he was sure Buck felt the same way. There weren’t many memories of the time he had been shot, but he knew Buck had carried his body out of danger as best as he could, and you don’t do that for someone you believe is dead. And believe him, he had been really close to dying.

The thing was, Buck and him didn’t really need to speak in order to understand each other, at least not always. After the first few weeks, they had formed and bond so tight, that they tended to be regarded as one. Suddenly, Buck was invited to dinner with him and Chris, and Buck became the babysitter, to the point of Eddie leaving him as Christopher’s legal guardian if something were to happen to him. Their captain referred to them as one, always “Eddie and Buck” or “Buck and Eddie”, almost never on their own. 

Eddie hadn’t really thought too much about this, but now he had time to spare and the cookies sitting in the passenger seat and he couldn’t stop thinking about all those little details that before had been too obvious to even regard, too little on their own to be able to see a bigger picture.

His mind continued to wander, now to their last moments before he left.

The hug.

He hadn’t wanted to let go, not really. The moment Buck’s arms had been around him, he had felt a sense of calmness that he hadn’t felt in a long time. That was the Buck effect: he always made him feel safe. He tried to remember every single instant of that hug, engraving it into his memory. How Buck’s tank top had felt against his skin, the way he smelled, how his strong arms were pressed against him, squeezing just enough to ground him, but not hard enough to overwhelm him. 

Eddie breathed deeply before signaling he was getting off the road. He got to a parking spot and looked at the cookies, like they were tempting him. He got one and closed his eyes before eating it. Maybe he did need to eat something. 

He debated calling Buck now that he had stopped, making sure that everything was okay back in L.A. and maybe getting some reassurance that this was the correct decision. He knew Buck was supportive of whatever he did, and listening to him might help calm down his nerves. However, Buck was not waiting for him in Texas, Christopher was. And his parents, which was one of the main sources of his stress. A part of him didn’t want to face them. In fact, a part of him wanted to get Chris into the car, put all his stuff in boxes and go back to L.A.

Back to Buck.

And now Buck was living in his house. That was another thing he hadn’t let himself think too deep about. If everything worked out great in Texas, he would like to come back home. That is, to L.A., to the 118. To Buck. But now Buck was living in his place. Would the three of them live together? He wouldn’t be opposed to the idea. He didn’t think Chris would be either. Buck had been an important part of his kid’s life as well as his, he was already like a weird uncle-stepfather figure for him. 

He stopped for a second going back in his train of thought. He had associated Buck with his home. Was that really it? It wasn’t LA and it wasn’t Texas. It was Buck. He made him feel safe and that meant he was, in a sense, his home. He hadn’t thought of his parents’ house as home in so long, he now doubted he ever did call it that; but Buck’s presence gave much more comfort than anything he had received from his parents before. Maybe the saying of “home is where your heart is” wasn’t so wrong. Maybe he wanted to go back home.

He looked out the window and thought back to that final hug between them. Did Buck feel the same as he was feeling now? Did he also feel like a part of him was missing?

He took a deep breath and the last bite of the cookie. He thought about continuing driving, he knew there was still a long way to Texas. Instead, he decided to call home before hitting the road.

[cheese-sandwich30]

Screaming, can't hear my call

Pairing: Female OC x Bucky Barnes x Loki x Pietro Maximoff

Genre: Angst with a happy ending

Warnings: Torture mentions but not to explicit

Word count: 2929

Summary: Being Tony Stark's sister has its advantages, but also its disadvantages.

AKA a reader-insert ended up having way too much backstory and now I have an original character, sorry not sorry

A/N: I wanted to do a reader insert, but then I gave her so much background that Mia Stark was born. I might write more fics on this AU because now I really like her.

AO3 link

My name is Mia Stark. I am half human, half Orionis. My mother was an alien from another planet. My father was Anthony Stark. I have the best of both worlds in the most literal way. I am an avenger, like my brother Tony. I look human in all the ways that matter, except for the fact that I can turn teal at will, I can fly and I have exceptional gifts.

The most important part of an Orionis body is, without a doubt, our vocal chords. Our singing is a focaliser for our power, giving us different powers for different songs. The choosing of the songs is an intimate process that every Orionis goes through, and we pick the songs based on our connection to them. So I have an old lullaby that my mother sang to me as a sleeping song, but also a Barbie movie song for healing people. Don’t judge me.

All this to say, my vocal chords are my strongest asset. Losing my voice is not something that happens, not with colds, not after screaming for three hours straight at a Taylor Swift concert, not ever. So, when I wake up in an unfamiliar room, not being able to talk and with a stinging feeling in my throat, I immediately panic.

I am tied to a metallic chair and I don’t remember the last thing I did. This isn’t my first time being kidnapped—being an avenger has its disadvantages after all—, but it’s the first time feeling so helpless and I am scared. The room around me is dark, with two small rectangular windows on one of the walls that let me know that it is still dark outside. I take a deep breath. I need to focus. I am not alone, not ever.

Another cool thing about Orionis, apart from our singing powers, is the fact that we have soulmates. Yes, in plural. We all have one platonic soulmate, the person whose soul is twin to your own, and multiple romantic soulmates, that fill the parts of us that are missing. As we meet our soulmates, we start seeing the world in colour, and we gain control of our powers. At 25 years old, I have already met all my soulmates, and I can confirm my brother was not happy about any of them, since I met the three—four if we count my platonic soulmate—in the middle of a battle… Against them. The first was Loki, when he tried to conquer Earth. He gave me the ability to talk mentally to people (as well as creating a mind palace for the both of us) and every tone of green, yellow and gold. Then came Bucky, the Winter Soldier by then, who brought invisibility and every other colour except for blue. Lastly came Pietro, with a force field of my own and every shade of blue, but he wasn’t alone. When I first saw Wanda, I knew we were destined to meet. Even if we were fighting against her, I knew she would end up being the only person that would truly understand me in my entire lifetime (and that is a long time). Now, years after that encounter, she feels like an extension of myself, I can’t live without her.

The good thing about soulmates is that I’m always connected to them. I can feel the tether that ties me to the four of them, no matter how far away we are. Back when Loki was imprisoned on Asgard, we would spend most days and all nights talking to each other, getting to know one another after everything that had gone down in New York. This connection was the only thing that was keeping me sane now. If I could contact them, then I would be fine. I still didn’t know where I was, but I was sure they would be able to find me, if not alone, at least with the help of the other avengers.

‘Please, someone, anyone, can you hear me?’ I thought, but it sounded muffled in my mind. Whatever had been done to shut me up was magical, and it didn’t only affect my vocal chords.

Shit.

I tugged at my connection to each of them while trying to figure out how I got here and how to get out. It was weird for all my soulmates to be in New York with me at the same time: Loki travelled a lot to Asgard, which he now ruled next to Thor; Bucky spent a lot of time in Wakanda, since they were helping undo whatever HYDRA had done to his brain during the last decades; and Pietro and Wanda were sent to a lot of different missions. However, I knew the four of them were here right now—three of them were staying at my flat—, at least one of them must have realised I was gone. 

I tried to remember what day it was, what was the last thing I remembered. I was working now on Broadway, I had been for the past few years—a musical actress as well as an avenger, probably one of the weirdest combinations ever—, but now we were in rehearsals for a new musical. My schedule for the past week had been the same, and I always got home by 8pm, if not sooner. Judging by how dark it was outside, it was way past that time. They must have known something was up.

The door opened suddenly, making me jump. An old man, small but fat, followed by at least ten men with guns, walked in. He got close to me, examining me like I was a statue in a museum, or a car he was interested in buying. Then he smiled with a yellowed grin.

“Ah, the little bird is awake.” He had a thick accent that I couldn’t quite place. 

I had never been good at recognising where people were from by the way they spoke, even if Natasha had tried to teach me. I tried to speak, but nothing came out, only a taste of blood on my mouth and a sharp pain in my throat.

“Careful, little bird, you’ll hurt yourself, and we don’t want that. My boys are gonna make you hurt enough as it is. At least we know that the potion does work now. Your little voice will be gone for a day at least, and we have more prepared for when that happens.”

I showed my teeth and tried to free myself from my restraints. It was no use. The man laughed in my face, a horrible sound that made my ears ring.

“Don’t worry, little bird. We are just conducting a little experiment. We want to test what your real price is, and that asshole you have for a brother is going to give us the answer. My friend Justin bets it will be 10 million, but I believe you are worth more. Maybe the entire Stark Empire.” Justin, that name rang a bell. I tended to remember the names of the people that wanted to see my brother dead, and Justin Hammer was one of them. However, he was in jail. How did he…?

The punch across my face took that thought out of my mind. I spat blood on the probably expensive shoes of the man. One of his goons, the one that punched me, was now standing next to me. I tried talking back, but no noise came out of my mouth and I felt a burning pain on my throat. This was not good. 

While my most powerful abilities came from my voice, I was also able to use other powers if I needed to defend myself. I felt like now was a good time to use it.

I focused on my hands and felt the power flow through me. I knew my skin was changing colour about right now, the same teal coloration of the mist that was coming out of me. I tried focusing it, creating a shield around me, so I couldn’t get hurt, but my powers could sense a part of me was missing, and I couldn’t gather them quick enough. A hit on the head knocked me out and made me lose the little concentration I had on my powers.

The next time I came to my senses, I was alone again, but my entire body felt sore. I could feel the bruises starting to bloom all over, from my ribs, to my eye. There was a throbbing pain on the back of my skull, which I guessed came from the hit I had taken a few… minutes… hours ago? I had no sense of how much time had passed, but it must have been a while, because I felt something different. The lump on my throat had diminished. 

“Hello?” I could whisper. My throat still hurt a bit, but I was able to speak, which meant I was able to communicate with someone now. That meant a day must have passed already and I had to be quick before whoever had taken me realised it.

‘Find me. Someone. Anyone. Follow my lead and find me.’ I sent into my connections. Now it wasn’t as muffled, it didn’t seem as stable as usual, but I could feel my message coming through. And I could definitely feel the immediate answer.

‘Mia! We are coming. Stay with us. We can finally feel your link. We are coming to get you.’ Bucky’s voice felt like air going back to my lungs after holding my breath for a long time. I finally felt like myself again. I was now coming completely to my senses. I was lying on the ground, which was cold and wet, but now I felt finally alive and able. I closed my eyes and concentrated on my powers, creating an invisible line towards Bucky, guiding him towards me.

However, he wasn’t the one that got to me first. Even though her brother is a literal speedster who is also connected to me, Wanda was the one to find me first. I opened my eyes and saw the door burning scarlet before it blew away and I saw her. Her eyes were bright red and I could feel her anger around me. Even if Pietro, Bucky and Loki were my romantic soulmates, Wanda was the one whose soul was made attuned to mine. Her and I were the same in so many levels, it wasn’t humanly possible to explain all of them. Especially, because humans tended to not understand most of the Orionis explanations I gave from time to time.

“Mia, you’re alive!” I felt a sense of calmness wash over me and I knew it was coming from her. Now that we were close, I could feel everything she had gone through in the past two days. Her bond was fully open and I could see glimpses of everything that had happened.

***

“What do you mean she’s missing?” My brother, Tony, was asking Wanda and Pietro.

“We can’t feel her. Bucky and Loki can’t either, they are outside searching for her,” I heard Wanda’s voice say.

“I’ll send up the drones. She has to be somewhere.”

***

“She’ll be alright. She’s strong.” Now Wanda was talking to Loki, in a different room, with a bunch of monitors in front of them. He had his eyes closed and was sitting on the floor, with a green hue around him. He was trying to find me.

“That doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be worried.” He didn’t even twitch as he answered, too focused on his search.

“I know, but if we burn ourselves out, we won’t be of help. Loki, you haven’t slept in more than 24 hours.” He opened his eyes at that, looking more disheveled now. Anger could easily be read on his expression.

“Mia might be dead and you humans want me, a god, to do something as mundane as take a nap!”

“She is not dead. All of us would have felt it and you know it.” Wanda knew how to fight back, it wasn’t her first time against a tempered god, especially this tempered god.

“Or maybe not. We know the things Mia thinks she knows, but the Orionis' history is old and complicated and, unfortunately, lost. The only thing left is a diary left by her mother, which is as good as if any of you humans tried to write in a notebook all the things that happen to your body and mind during your entire lives. The fact that she believes we will all feel her death, is a subjective idea. We are not Orionis. She might feel our death, but there is no certainty that, if she dies, we won’t just get this excruciating silence for all of eternity.” I could feel the heartbreak Wanda felt, but she was determined.

“She’s alive. She might be hurt or isolated, but she is alive. You gotta believe that or we won’t make it in time.”

***

“We have something!” Spiderman was putting on his suit and screaming around the room. “A guy came up on the cameras near the theatre, we just got his identification. We know where she might be!”

Then something shifted. A feeling, not exactly new, but that had been missing. A dark hole had been filled again and now she felt complete again. Wanda looked around the room, locking eyes with her brother. He was looking abc at her, his eyes opened in shock. Without waiting any second longer, they both sprinted towards the other room, in search of Loki and Bucky.

“She’s back!” Pietro screamed, as soon as they got to the others. Loki was already covered in a green mist, before he teleported away. After seeing this, Pietro took off running. Wanda was about to fly out when Peter got back to her.

“They took Mia for a reason. Let me give you the intel before you go.” That’s when the anger started boiling up.

***

“Get me out of here, please” I asked as I came back to my senses.

“I think he can take care of that.” I turned to see what she was looking at and found Loki, covered in someone else’s blood from head to toe. “I also need to get some revenge.”

Loki nodded and walked towards me. He cradled me in his arms, putting his sticky forehead against mine. My whole body ached, but his touch felt comforting. Then, a green mist surrounded us and we were back at the Avengers Tower. Between the tower and the compound, I always preferred the tower, since it was easier to make my life in the city. Also, the living quarters of the tower tended to be emptier and that tranquility brought me some peace. He knew me well enough to know this.

“Are you hurt?” was the first thing he asked as he put me down onto my bed. I would have to change the sheets later on, but I didn’t care.

“I’m fine. I’ll be fine. Right now I have a general ache all over my body, especially my head and my throat.” My voice was weak and broken and he furrowed his brows with concern.

“I’m going to let your brother know you are safe, and then I’m going to call the doctors, and after they check that there is nothing life-threatening, you are going to stay here with us for at least a day resting, without speaking, so you don’t hurt your voice more.” I nodded.

It would be a few hours until everyone got back and things felt normal again. During those hours, a few doctors came by and then left, as well as my brother and Bruce, who wanted all the info they could on the effects of the potion they had used against me, to try and find a way to revert it in case it happened again. They didn’t get a lot of answers, but they now had a starting ground for their experiments. After they left, Pietro and Bucky came in, wearing clean clothes that I guessed weren’t the ones they had used for the mission. Both of them had their hair wet, so they must have had a shower as well.

Loki didn’t leave my side for a second until the other two arrived. He was there, still covered in now dry blood, scaring any doctors who spent more time that needed with me and holding my hand through it all. I thanked him silently through our connection. If he hadn’t been there, I probably would have broken right then and there. 

My breaking point didn’t come until Loki had come back from his own shower and Wanda had helped me put on my pyjamas, as well as cleaning me a bit. When I was back in my bed, my head resting against Pietro’s side, with Loki and Bucky lying next to us, I started processing everything that had happened. They hadn’t just kidnapped me, they had taken away one of my most precious gifts, my voice, and taken it away like it was nothing. I had felt so helpless, so useless. Incomunicated.

I started crying out of nowhere, tears falling like cascades, as I felt a tight knot in my chest. I was alive and safe, but I needed to process everything that had happened. I held tight to my partners as I let it all out. I would end up falling asleep between tears, but at least I knew, I wasn’t alone. 

[loveridden1999]

[cheese-sandwich30]

I love when I want to write a short fic and end up creating an original character with the longest backstory known to man that ends up being totally relevant to any future fic I write for that universe because now I can't imagine the story without them

[cheese-sandwich30]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Criminal Minds (US TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader, Spencer Reid/Original Female Character(s), Spencer Reid/Original Male Character(s) Characters: Spencer Reid, Original Jareau Character(s) (Criminal Minds), Jennifer "JJ" Jareau Additional Tags: Post-Prison Spencer Reid, First season flashbacks, Nightmares, Gender of MC not specified Summary:

Spencer Reid just got released from prison and things are weird back home between him and his partner. Somehow, it's just like it was at the beginning

So, I have written something. It’s been a while since I wrote any fanfic, but it has been weirdly healing in a way

[cheese-sandwich30]

I'm writing a criminal minds fic for the first time in a long time and I had forgotten how much I love writing angst

[thememedaddy]

[glowcowboy]

does anyone wanna hold hands until we feel a little braver

[its-your-mind]

the reblog map is all of us holding hands btw

[beautifulterriblequeen]

We are each other's night sky. No one is alone here.

[dear-ao3]

night sky continues to get brighter. theres always people here for you

[cheese-sandwich30]

I'm back on this app with a new blog because new beginnings are my way of coping lol

[sassycolortheorist101-blog]

some fucking resources for all ur writing fuckin needs

* body language masterlist

* a translator that doesn’t eat ass like google translate does

* a reverse dictionary for when ur brain freezes

* 550 words to say instead of fuckin said

* 638 character traits for when ur brain freezes again

* some more body language help

(hope this helps some ppl)

[phantomheartless5]

Thanks, this might help.