TheStupidRaccoon

Just a low-key weird Christian gal who loves books, volleyball, and raccoons

[tb-png]

hot summer day with a couple of baby robins ☀️ 🍦 🐥 ~!

[thoughtsofapasserby]

For once a smile so bright

A ray of light across my face

Laughter I can really feel

You keep the stars in your pocket

Just to hand them to me

You fumble around with them

We laugh until our cheeks hurt

And I hug you tight as I can

For the very last time

[ramen8008]

Wonder Woman: Batman, we could make good use of Nightwing with this. Would you call him?

Dick, who's filling in for Bruce as Batman: I'll call him

---

Hal: you've gained some muscles

Jason, dressed as Nightwing: I started working out

Hal: Damn. What's the routine cause I just saw you last week and you look completely different.

Jason: steroids

Dick, as batman: *chokes on coffee*

---

Superman: We might need someone who's good with guns, hm... Hey Nightwing you're in contact with redhood, right? Could you have him come?

Jason, as Nightwing: ... I don't see why not

---

Wonder woman: this security is an issue we need someone who can hack this system long enough for us to get pass

Superman: hey hood, any chance you can give red robin a call?

Tim, with 5 inches of padding, as redhood: on it

---

Hal: isn't robin usually with you all?

Flash: yeah we could use him with this one

Superman: Red Robin, would you call in Robin for us?

Damian, in red robin costume: he's dead

[noodles-and-tea]

:(

[betterthanbatman1]

Oh my

[coolguymcdudebro]

one must imagine Jason Todd happy

[notyournoma]

[nina-s0]

Headcanon that Jason is deffo the sibling that eats everything and anything in the closest vicinity:

Tim: shit I burnt this ommlet.

Tim:

Tim: *slides plate to Jason*

Jason: *eats it without looking up from his book*

--

Dick: if I eat anymore I'm gonna throw up

Bruce: Alfred said you have to. And I'm not gonna fight him for you.

Dick:

Dick: *throws plate like a frizzbee towards Jason sitting in the corner*

Jason: *catches it flawlessly and swallows it whole*

Bruce: man, I'm just gonna pretend I didn't see that.

--

Duke, making breakfast for himself at 6am before his patrol:

Jason, spawning behind him: what you doing?

Duke: FUCK- omg what is wrong with you!?

Jason: make me sum

Duke: no???

Jason, intense stare:

Duke: I- okay sure

--

Bonus where Jason likes to sneak into the watchtower to fuck with heros:

Jason, eating a warmed up peporoni pizza:

Hal, walking in with the justice league for their break: what the hell. That's my pizza. You ate my pizza. What are u even doing here?

Jason: I don't see your name on it.

Barry, moving the lid of the pizza box to expose the "hal's - do not eat" message sprawled at the front in sharpie:

Jason, no hesitation: sorry I can't read, I'm dead.

Hal:

Bruce, holding the bridge of his nose: Jason, go home.

[robs-your-robins]

Jason has tried to get rid of his white streak so many times. He hates it, he thinks he looks like a character out of one of Damian's manga books but eventually it grows on him but the thing he loves best about it? Answering the questions of people who ask why his hair is like that.

"Stress," he tells a gala attendee, "Yeah, watching my dad at one of these things, making sure he doesn't drown in the punch bowl or french kiss a reporter, it's a stressful job."

"I drank Zesti Cola and Mentos at the same time."

"I disrespected my elders and a ghost straight up bitch slapped me." he tells one of Dick's kids when he's babysitting.

"This is what happens when you wash your hair in Gotham without using treated water."

“I let Dick talk me into a ‘fun brother bonding spa day.’ Something in that hair mask that Donna cooked up was radioactive. I swear.”

“I got caught in a flashbang at close range. My hair saw the light before I did.”

“I got hit with a fear toxin variant. Apparently my hair panicked too.”

"My hair is what now?"

[suigenerisisadiva]

Jason Todd as Your Brother! ˚⟡˖ *

Pairing: Jason Todd x Batsis!Reader

Summary: The title lmao

CW: Mean jokes, swearing, crude humour, sibling behaviour, slight angst

A/N: Based of the relationship I have with 3 older brothers. I'm gonna make a Duke version dw lmao

Damian Vers. Tim Vers. Dick Vers. Duke Vers.

Jason acts like you’re annoying but folds for you immediately every single time.

Doesn’t matter what it is. Food, clothes, work, but he’ll complain while doing it.

“You use me for everything.” “And yet here you are.” “…Yeah, whatever.”

He’s insanely protective over you. Like actually scary protective.

Someone at a gala made you uncomfortable once and suddenly Jason was staring them down.

“Jason, don’t.” “I’m just looking.” “You look homicidal.” “That’s just my face.”

Jason stands behind you when you bend over, waits for you to tie your shoes, and holds your bags for you occasionally.

He tells if you if you're outfits are bad or not.

"Omfg you look like you were going to Coachella but got into a fist fight on the way" "I ASKED IF YOU IF IT LOOKED GOOD OR NOT."

Jason always knows when something’s wrong with you before you even say anything.

You can walk into a room slightly quieter than normal and suddenly he’s staring at you suspiciously.

“What happened.” “Nothing happened.” “You’re doing the thing.” “What thing?” “The sad thing.”

He pretends not to care about your interests but secretly remembers EVERYTHING.

You mention wanting something once and suddenly it’s sitting on your bed three weeks later.

“Wait… you bought this?” “It was on sale.” “Jason.” “Don’t make it weird.”

Calls you really odd nicknames and terms of endearment

"Hey witch what's up" "Do you have to be like this? Did the Lazarus Pit do this?"

Jason’s insults are genuinely VICIOUS.

Not even in a loud way either. He says things so calmly that it takes people ten seconds to realise they got flamed alive.

"Why do you look like the rat from Flushed Away?" "Says you bruh you're built like an uncooked mozzarella stick"

He lets you into his apartment when literally almost nobody else is allowed over.

You have your own blankie there too because he noticed you stealing his constantly.

You guys recreate photos of when you were younger a lot.

Bruce can still pick both of you up like when you were small even at your grown ages

Jason is the sibling most likely to teach you genuinely concerning life skills.

Lockpicking. Hotwiring. Hand-writing duplication.

“Jason why do I need to know this?” “You ask too many questions genuinely stfu.”

He’s SO soft with you when you’re sick.

Like weirdly gentle. (manifesting all women get the gentle, kind men they deserve)

Brings medicine, blankets, food, checks your temperature every hour like a worried single mother.

“You need anything?” “A million dollars.” “Be serious.” “McDonald’s?” “…McChicken Meal and a Large Fanta?”

He makes really good food and you're his taste-tester.

Jason is lowkey the funniest sibling.

Dry humour for DAYS.

You’ll say the dumbest thing imaginable and he’ll deadpan something so funny you almost crash out laughing.

He absolutely judges your taste in men/women.

“You like THEM?” “Don’t start.” “I’m starting.” "So why are you acting like you can pull." "You are definitely your father's daughter."

Tim thinks your relationship with Jason is deeply entertaining because you’re the ONLY person Jason listens to consistently.

“You told him to sleep and he actually did?” “Yeah?” “I asked him to rest once and he threw a spoon at me.” "He doesn't listen to hypocrites"

The Outlaws look forward to seeing you because it's free entertainment

Elizabeth Taylor (your dog) really likes Jason, she can sense his whimsy

He has your location on Life360 at all times

He has you saved as "Bby Sister" and you have him saved as "Jay ⁉️"

When he died at 15, you genuinely went through it. It was during this time you got close with Roy, Dinah and Ollie actually.

He was in the year above you at school (although he never graduated), and two years above Tim, with you being right in the middle of both of them

You guys watch and rewatch a lot of shows together. Gossip Girl, Gilmore Girls, ATLA (He's a fein for this), Vampire Diaries.

You guys watch a lot of MLP <3

When Jason came back to life, you were the first person he talked to, even before Bruce. Finding out he was alive felt like a wound had just been re-ripped, but that's a story for another time.

Jason's a fire person to nap with because he runs not too hot but not too warm. He sleeps like he's been fighting in the trenches (with the way DC's been treating him he has bsfr)

Jason constantly checks your injuries after fights.

Even tiny scratches.

“Hold still.” “It’s barely bleeding.” “I said hold still.”

And finally I headcanon Jason AND Bruce AND Tim as gossips. They love hearing the latest tea, all three of them, and you give it to them piping hot.

"Do these aunties not have better things to do?" "I don't think so, did you see the drama surrounding her outfit to the gala last week?" "Bro— YOU CAN'T BE RICH AND POORLY DRESSED C'MON."

a/n²: Appa Yip Yip!

[haveihitanerve]

Damian evolving from calling Bruce "Father" except not in a silly cute fun way where he calls him Baba but in a sad and heartbreaking way of having the only actual biological child he has start calling him "Bruce"

Damian doesn't mean it to come off in a negative way- he really and truly doesn't. It's just what the rest of his siblings call him, and he wants to be more like them and it's just so comfortable for them, so he starts doing it

Bruce pretends he doesn't mind, smiles and nods and when Damian says "Bruce please pass the peas" or "My day was fine, how was yours Bruce?" but a piece of him dies every time and he cried himself to sleep the first time it happened because fuck they all hate him

[welcomedhappiness]

Farewell online privacy

[tikalgirl]

What happened?

[welcomedhappiness]

Trump happened.

[pizzaalle]

just get a VPN?

[earth-ruins]

You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect. 

Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP adres, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do!

So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do?

A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy. 

Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it)

But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit)

Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want).  

Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey.  The ISP  still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US. 

I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security.

There is still more danger!  Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs

More about law  The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst):  

The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source)

There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better).  You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries.  If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program! 

I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page.  

Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.net/simple-vpn-comparison-chart/

Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging. 

I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright. 

Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also,  there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest)

Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy)

This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously.

EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research! 

[writing-prompt-s]

I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it. 

[rabbittiddy]

Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

[thecrystalfems]

He hasn’t yet but he says he wants to. And if he is serious about it it would be really easy to do. Since all our data is already recorded, as the person above explained.

[coltrer]

Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent. 

Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it. 

btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important. 

Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

[imthedoctor12]

@earth-ruins @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

[writing-prompt-s]

If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruins advice. Do your own research first. 

[writing-prompt-s]

@elvesfromthedeep​ just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). 

Sources

Anger as US internet privacy law scrapped 

Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history 

To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

[greeneyespurpleheart]

Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass.

With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do. You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it. Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN.

Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

[warmhappycat]

Hey is thatoneprivacysite still good? The link works and it does take me to an article about vpns, but it just looks like an ad for expressvpn with extra steps.

[skeleskeeller]

No they switched to https://thatoneprivacysite.xyz/#simple-vpn-comparison a couple years ago

Welcome to the VPN Comparison!  This section is meant to be a resource to those who value their privacy, specifical...

[skeleskeeller]

I had Trust.Zone when this post first started making the rounds on Tumblr and I forgot about it after Biden took office. I recently sent them an email asking why my subscription wasn’t automatically renewed and why their website hasn’t changed since 2017(?). Their answer:

Shady people, good people, this company only cares about privacy and doesn’t care who it serves. But now with Trump and Musk this is the only VPN I’ll use.

[firerockt]

I understand some people might not want to use this VPN on moral grounds, but it’s genuinely one of the very few VPNs set up in a way that no authority can touch you. ExpressVPN and other ‘popular’ options operate in jurisdictions favorable for profits but their privacy is just a band-aid our government can easily rip off if it demands information. I’m a trans man, I’m afraid of our government, and at this point, I simply don’t care anymore.

[moonxchaos]

For a second I was like noooooo, not this long post again! Haven’t seen it in years and I always thought it was a bit extreme and exaggerated. Now that we are in 2025, I am like, nahh, these people knew what they were talking about all along. First time I am reblogging this.

[moonxchaos]

Also I don’t think anyone has said this yet but the free trial only requires an email address. No credit card details or anything. Refreshing.

[foxbridgeni]

Could someone please put the link to the free trial here? I don’t want to scroll back up 10 miles. Thank you.

[skeleskeeller]

here you go @foxbridgeni

Trust.Zone Free Trial

[moonfireroulette]

The argument against VPNs has always been, “but I have nothing to hide.” Now that an unpredictable lunatic is in charge, purging based on whatever whim strikes him, that sentiment is quickly fading. VPNs aren’t just about hiding personal secrets; they’re about protecting freedom, autonomy, and your basic right to live without unjust scrutiny or arbitrary persecution.

[bearcubsandicecreammachines]

Reblogging again bc this is important

[papayafromtv]

mmmm immortal jason but he doesn't figure it out until after he rejoins the batfamily. and he's also really fucking chill about it.

he figures out he's gonna Keep Coming Back no matter what when Alfred asks him to help clean the roof and while alone scrubbing out gutters he fucks up and falls off the ladder; completely snaps his neck.

he wakes up like twenty minutes later all healed and instead of freaking out, he decides that he's been through so much shit and his life is already so goddamn weird that honestly? so what if he can't die.

still concerns the fuck out of the rest of the family when jason wanders in a few hours later rubbing out the crick in his neck and when bruce asks how the roof went he goes "yeah, gutters clean. also i think i fixed death?"

"...jason what could that possibly mean." dick asks from across the room. jason shrugs.

"I dunno. fixed it."

he continues to make vague-ass uncaring comments that baffle the fuck out of everybody for the next few weeks, and they don't figure out what the hell he's talking about until one patrol they get into one of those tricky 'locked in a room and have to pick one of you to die' situations and jason just whistles, goes "man this would suck if i hadn't already fixed death," and then proceeds to shoot himself in the face in front of all the horrified bats.

he wakes up fifteen minutes later to bruce and dick having a shared panic attack on the floor, tim desperately trying to calm them down, and damian standing over him looking supremely disappointed as he goes "fucking 'fixed death' todd?? that's the only way you could think of phrasing it? i thought your special interest was fucking literacy."

in his defence he never got to finish high school.

[papayafromtv]

conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 62 (masterpost here)

Damian: i don't get it.

Jason: no i've never gotten it either.

Tim: i mean, i do get it slightly? like... he can be intimidating sometimes? but then again that's B as a father figure; all dads can be scary towards their kids if they really need to be. from the perspective of a Justice League member? there's no logical reason as to why Superman would ever think Batman was scary.

Damian: are we sure them considering Father as their scariest member isn't simply a sarcastic inside joke within the group?

Dick: naw bub, it's real. i've seen Clark try to hide from him when he thought he'd 'wronged' B in some way. they're genuinely intimidated by him.

Damian, mystified: that's ridiculous, he isn't scary.

Jason: well- actually ok, i might get it. because he isn't scary to us; but maybe that's why he's so scary to the JL.

Dick: *snort* what, we made him scary?

Jason: i- you have to admit, like- like we have done some shit.

Tim: *laughs*

Jason: yeah, like- *laugh* maybe the thing is that we've pissed off Bruce so much over the years, that we've upgraded his ability to deal with things further than any normal human man should. like he has to try and be visibly angry enough for us to listen to him when he tells us to knock it off; when you start getting good at that level of intimidation, the fucking farm boy and ocean buddy with the big fork is like- it's gotta be child's play.

Dick: *cackle* ocean buddy with the big fork,

Jason, audibly holding back laughter: right but you see my point-!

Damian: i mean, does Father even get angry at us anymore? i feel like he's given up at this point. he just gets resigned; doesn't really try.

Tim: well that's the thing, i think we've perfected being disappointments so well as a group that he's lost the ability to get mad. he expects it; i can't imagine what we'd have to do to make him genuinely rageful nowadays.

Dick, thoughtful: yeah... we've definitely raised the bar.

Damian: you used to make him very angry before Jason died, right? so you two were the- you were the original-,

Tim, amused: the pioneers.

Jason, smug: we did perfect our methods. it's an art form.

Damian: yeah but was that an old skill or do you still manage it? because even i struggle to make him seething mad.

Tim: his tolerance has built up massively over the years...

Jason: yeah it's tougher. we still manage it sometimes, though.

Damian: what's the angriest you've ever made him?

Dick: oooh, good question...

Jason: you know what- genuinely? you'd think it would be something from the golden era; i reckon Dickie bird's was recent.

Dick: *casually surprised* oh you think? you think it was the thing from a few weeks ago?

Jason: oh 100%. he literally told you not to go home with him. i was impressed.

Dick: well- *snort* to be fair i'd been gunning for that all day; i wanted to go home but needed an excuse to ditch the manor.

Jason: *cackles*

Tim: wait what'd you do a couple weeks ago?

Dick: do you not remember- that gala where i was supposed to spend the night at the manor afterwards? but i ended up going back to Bludhaven instead?

Tim: wait- *pause* that was because Bruce told you you couldn't?

Damian: *in slight awe* ...Richard. what did you do.

Jason: *starting to laugh again* oh- oh man, i forgot you guys were in a different room- you didn't get to see it-!

Damian: the fuck did you see it? you're dead.

Jason: spray-on hair dye and a barkeeper outfit.

Dick: yeah he was so pissed off- it was on camera, too; like the press were actively filming. i think Bruce sued them for the footage.

Jason: *wheeze*

Tim: what the fuck happened???

Dick: ok well- *sigh* there was this little old lady who was attending the event with her carer-, and i wanna be clear this lady was very sweet, she did not mean to be rude in any way, she was clearly just very confused,

Tim: *now audibly baffled* what the fuck could you possibly be building up to?

Jason: *another wheeze*

Dick: i just need you to understand that this was a very nice old lady who clearly had dementia and didn't mean to be rude.

Damian: what did she do?

Dick: well she was talking about her grandkids, so B started talking about his kids. And you know, he introduced me, and then he pointed out you and Tim in the crowd, and then Cass walked past with Duke so he told her they were his as well, and... i don't think she was all there in the head, you know? didn't remember that Bruce was famous for adoption. so she kinda went, like, 'you have a lot of them, don't you? are you sure they're all yours? they don't look much alike', which,

Jason: -bullshit, all four of us could enter a Bruce Wayne lookalike contest and draw for first.

Dick: -right, but also like, you gotta admit we're pretty fucking diverse for a single group of siblings, right?

Tim: point, actually.

Dick: yeah! anyway- so i could see Bruce kinda getting ready to laugh it off, right? and i- *snort* listen, i'd had a few.

Jason: i'm a good mixer.

Dick: -yeah, he is, and like i said i was already trying to look for an out of staying at the manor because i hadn't been home in a while and i was tired, so before he could say anything, i said- *abrupt wheeze*

Jason: *muffled snort*

Dick: i- *more laughter* *high pitched* i said,

Damian, flat: dear god.

Dick: *giggling* *hands slapping fabric* i wasn't thinking, and i just kinda came out with, 'it's his fetish, he's trying to get one of each race.' and-

Jason and Dick: *instantly lose it*

Jason: *loud laughter* THIS IS STILL- THIS IS STILL MY FAVOURITE THING-,

Dick: *incoherent crying*

Tim, incredulous: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?!

Damian, with pure awe: that's... insane. making that joke on camera? in public?

Dick, weeping: n' he- he got so mad,

Jason, loudly: HE WENT BRIGHT RED, I THOUGHT- i thought he was going to hit him.

Dick: to this day i don't know how i managed to keep a straight face.

Tim: *stage whisper* what did he do??

Dick: he pulled me aside afterwards and- *wheeze* and he was like 'look i need some space from you right now, i think you should- *snort* i think you should get a different car and go home, and i'll just call you next week or something',

Jason: this is everything i aspire to achieve and more,

Dick: -and i was just like- i was like, 'yeah that's fair'- *breaks down into giggles again*

Tim: THAT'S FAIR- *wheeze* *cackling* fucking- 'i wouldn't wanna look at me either',

Dick: 'i get it, i hate me too',

Jason: i don't know- i don't know how he doesn't expect those sorts of jokes by now?

Dick: i don't fucking know how we keep coming up with them, it's like an endless well.

*ping*

Jason: an endless well of making Bruce seem like a pervert just to piss him off- ah fuck.

*tense silence*

*more silence*

Bruce, sternly: i'm tracking all of you. i know you're doing another four person stakeout-,

Dick, instantly: fuck- split, SPLIT-

Damian: what about the target?!

Jason: WHO GIVES A SHIT- JUST GO.

Bruce: for the last time, you cannot run from a PHONE CALL.

[chaoticbatfam]

Jason: *drumming fingers seriously as he stares at the batcomputer security cam*

Steph: *from the couch, where she’s eating chips* any change yet??

Jason: *slightly horrified* no. Not one.

Dick: what . . . are you doing?

Steph: three days ago we switched out Tim’s coffee with decaf

Jason: we thought he might get some sleep for once

Steph: but it’s like he ain’t even noticed.

Jason: *throwing hands up in frsutration* it’s two fucking am and he’s still studying in the kitchen. He doesn’t even LIKE studying

Dick:

Dick: I hate to say it, but—

Jason: *horrified* no

Steph: absolutely not

Dick: —have you considered that it was . . . never the caffeine?

Jason: *stares blankly at camera, which shows Tim finishing a stack of paperwork, calmly taking a sip of coffee, and grabbing another stack* are we sure he’s not a meta. Did we have him tested. How confident are we

Dick:

Steph: OH MY GOD DID YOU NEVER HAVE HIM TESTED??

[possumtion]

Batfam head turn around

Full image under cut

[thoughtsofapasserby]

For once a smile so bright

A ray of light across my face

Laughter I can really feel

You keep the stars in your pocket

Just to hand them to me

You fumble around with them

We laugh until our cheeks hurt

And I hug you tight as I can

For the very last time

[fancy-possum]

𝐋𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐨𝐲’𝐬 𝐞𝐦𝐩𝐭𝐲 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐜𝐡 || 𝐉𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐝 𝐱 𝐅𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

ac: realstickii || masterlist || based on this request

You had always been a foodie.

It wasn’t just about eating - it was about discovery. New flavours. New textures. The quiet joy of turning raw ingredients into something that told a story. Your tiny apartment kitchen was your laboratory: spices from every corner of the world, half-finished recipe notebooks, and the faint smell of whatever you’d experimented with last night still lingering in the air.

Jason Todd had never been picky.

Growing up on the streets, then in the manor, then… after. Food was fuel. He ate whatever was available, often cold, often standing up, often while bleeding. He could devour an entire pizza in under ten minutes and still be hungry. His metabolism was a monster, and he’d long since stopped fighting it.

Then he met you.

And everything changed.

The first time he stayed over, you cooked.

It was simple — homemade pasta with a sauce you’d been perfecting for weeks. You’d plated it beautifully, fresh basil on top, a drizzle of good olive oil. Jason had taken one bite and gone very still.

“This is… really good,” he said, almost reverent.

You’d smiled, pleased. “Try the garlic bread. I added a little chili flake.”

He did. Then he ate three more slices. Then he asked for seconds. Then thirds.

By the end of the night, the entire pot was gone. He looked almost guilty as he helped you clean up, like he’d committed some crime by enjoying it so much.

“You don’t have to pretend to like it,” you teased.

“I’m not pretending,” he said, voice low. “I’ve never had anything like that before. Not… made for me.”

The way he said it made your chest warm.

From that night on, Jason started trying.

He’d show up at your apartment with ingredients he’d clearly researched - things he thought you’d like. He’d sit at your tiny kitchen table and watch you cook like it was performance art. When you asked him to taste something, he’d take it seriously, eyes closing for a second like he was committing the flavor to memory.

He was trying so hard to impress you.

And it was adorable.

One evening you were experimenting with Thai street food recipes. The kitchen smelled like lemongrass, coconut milk, and chili. You were stirring a big pot of green curry when Jason walked in, still in his Red Hood gear minus the helmet, white streak messy from the night.

“Smells incredible,” he said, coming up behind you. His arms wrapped around your waist, chin resting on your shoulder as he watched you cook. “What’s this one?”

“Green curry. I tweaked the paste a little. Tell me what you think.”

You offered him a spoon. He took it, blowing on it carefully before tasting. His eyes closed again, that little furrow of concentration between his brows.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “That’s… really good. Spicy. Creamy. The lime at the end cuts it perfectly.”

You beamed. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He kissed the side of your neck, soft and warm. “You’re dangerous. I’m gonna get spoiled.”

You laughed, leaning back into him. “Good. You deserve to be spoiled.”

He stayed like that while you finished cooking, arms around you, occasionally stealing tastes when you let him. When dinner was ready, he ate like a man who’d been starving for years — which, in some ways, he had.

But later that night, when you were curled up on the couch watching a movie, you noticed him quietly raiding the fridge.

“Still hungry?” you asked, amused.

He froze, a container of leftover rice in his hand. “Uh… a little.”

You patted the couch beside you. “Come here. I’ll make you a snack.”

He did, looking almost guilty as he sat down. You disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a massive sandwich — thick bread, leftover chicken, cheese, pickles, everything you could find.

He took it with both hands, eyes wide. “You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.” You curled up against his side, head on his shoulder. “Eat, Jason. I know you’re still hungry.”

He ate the entire thing in record time, then pulled you closer, kissing the top of your head.

“You’re too good to me,” he murmured.

You smiled. “You’re easy to be good to.”

The pattern continued.

Jason would show up after patrol, still keyed up and ravenous, and you’d cook for him. He’d try everything you made with genuine enthusiasm, complimenting every dish like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted. He started bringing home ingredients he thought you’d like — strange spices from little markets in the Narrows, fresh herbs he’d somehow kept alive during a fight.

He was trying so hard.

But his appetite was legendary.

One night you made a beautiful multi-course meal — roasted vegetables, seared fish, a delicate dessert. Jason ate every bite, praising you the whole time. Then, two hours later, you caught him in the kitchen eating cold leftover pizza straight from the box.

You leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, trying not to laugh. “Still hungry?”

He froze, slice halfway to his mouth. “I… uh. It’s been a long night.”

You walked over, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind. “You don’t have to pretend with me, you know. I know you can eat an entire buffet and still want more. It’s okay.”

He set the pizza down and turned in your arms, pulling you close. “I just… I don’t want you to think I don’t appreciate what you make. Your food is the best thing I’ve ever tasted. But my stomach is a bottomless pit. Always has been.”

You smiled up at him, hands resting on his chest. “I know. And I love that about you. You’re big. You’re strong. You burn through calories like a furnace. It doesn’t make what I cook any less special.”

He kissed you then — slow and deep, hands sliding to your waist, pulling you closer. The kiss tasted like pizza and the faint sweetness of the dessert you’d made earlier. When he pulled back, his eyes were soft.

“I love you,” he said quietly. “Even when I’m inhaling half your fridge at 3am.”

You laughed, pressing your forehead to his chest. “I love you too. Even when you’re a human trash disposal.”

He chuckled, the sound warm and relieved. His hands stroked your back, slipping under your shirt to rest warm against your skin. The touch was comforting, but there was quiet heat in it too — the way his fingers traced your spine, the way he held you like you were the only soft thing in his hard world.

“You make me want to be better,” he murmured. “Not just eat better. Be better. For you.”

You tilted your head up, kissing him again. “You already are.”

He held you like that for a long time — in the quiet kitchen, surrounded by the faint smell of your latest experiment, his arms around you like he never wanted to let go.

Jason Todd was learning how to love properly.

And for you, he was willing to change.

Every late-night snack, every stolen kiss in the kitchen, every quiet “I love you” felt like proof that maybe — just maybe — the two of you were building something good.

Something that felt a lot like home.

a/n : I finished this off quickly while on the bus, gulp.