The Original Disasterpiece

Female, 29, Northern Ireland. Professional disappointment

[cringecorp]

they say you can't pour from an empty cup but i've been doing it my whole life and aside from all of these mysterious ailments it's working out great for me

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

I can’t make pasta any more without mumbling to myself, “wet the drys… then dry the wets…”

[baggytrousers27]

[mumblingsage]

Wait, is this origin behind

[depsidase]

[harsh-noise]

[rottencore]

This post keeps making me cry laughingg

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient central and south american agricultural heroes for beans

[honeybeeofficial]

everyone say thank you ancient south american agricultural heroes for potato

[kawuli]

everyone say thank you ancient mesoamerican agricultural heroes for maize

[dragongirlteeth]

Also tomato

[johnbottoms]

wish $20 was $20 again.... it's literally $5. if ur fucking lucky

[whitepeopletwitter]

[blanketfortarchitect]

[rebloggingistheenemy]

[dingdongyouarewrong]

man y’all remember when the avengers movie came out and everyone headcanoned that all the avengers would live together in the tower and had all these cute posts about various fun ways they could interact and then the movies literally never had any of them even be friends

[mycroftrh]

I want to state, for the record, that “all the avengers would live together in the tower” wasn’t collective headcanon, it was canon. The very last scene of Avengers (2012), the one they left us on, is Tony redesigning the tower, designing a living area for each Avenger. That was, canonically, what was supposed to happen, in canon, and they just changed their minds and decided to… not. For whatever goldarn reason.

[dingdongyouarewrong]

GHHFDGJHFDS THATS EVEN FUNNIER WHY IS MARVEL LIKE THIS

[oneefin]

number theory* diagram

[michaelrotonal]

these relationships are always increasing numbers as well. so obviously we need six eleven to mean somethimg

[ovenroastedtwerkey]

imagine if that's the date it finally happens

[caesarsaladinn]

romanticizing your life is such a powerful tool and it’s a shame that it’s mostly used by people on tiktok to justify the purchase of expensive breakfast smoothies when there are few better ways to force oneself through unpleasant shit than imagining a cinematic backstory for your extremely quotidian suffering

[caesarsaladinn]

finding the strength to walk home from the library at 3am in the freezing rain by imagining yourself as a Napoleonic soldier hightailing it from Moscow in 1813

[ashstfu]

it’s so crazy having a follower base on tumblr knowing full well it’s not based on selfies or anything like people are here for your crazy twisted mind. i feel like nietzsche

[depsidase]

[ramen8008]

Wonder Woman: Batman, we could make good use of Nightwing with this. Would you call him?

Dick, who's filling in for Bruce as Batman: I'll call him

---

Hal: you've gained some muscles

Jason, dressed as Nightwing: I started working out

Hal: Damn. What's the routine cause I just saw you last week and you look completely different.

Jason: steroids

Dick, as batman: *chokes on coffee*

---

Superman: We might need someone who's good with guns, hm... Hey Nightwing you're in contact with redhood, right? Could you have him come?

Jason, as Nightwing: ... I don't see why not

---

Wonder woman: this security is an issue we need someone who can hack this system long enough for us to get pass

Superman: hey hood, any chance you can give red robin a call?

Tim, with 5 inches of padding, as redhood: on it

---

Hal: isn't robin usually with you all?

Flash: yeah we could use him with this one

Superman: Red Robin, would you call in Robin for us?

Damian, in red robin costume: he's dead

[ambertea]

I did that job once.

[pepsimayo]

What are your pronouns and would you like to join my union

[depsidase]

[snekysonjr]

Mirabel *officially* joins the waiting room 😌