[apjvff]

*walks through a bead curtain*

[depsidase]

[pussyluvr2000]

Every job application in 2026 is like can you please tell us a bedtime story

[papasmoke]

I just want you all to know i am planning to drive across the country to steal this street sign and hang it over my toilet

[depsidase]

[afloweroutofstone]

>landlord of my building changes >new online portal for paying rent >required to set up an account with Bilt Inc. >Bilt will add $10 a month to my rent if I pay it using my debit card >look for ways to avoid this fee by paying directly through my bank account >required to set up an extra account with Plaid Inc. >Plaid demands the password to my bank account (!!!!!!!) to connect, after which their terms of service will allow them to monitor all of my financial activity and sell that data to the highest bidder >look for a way to set up my account through a regular ACH process without taking this massive security risk >download the Bilt app on my phone because it's the only way to directly contact their help desk >realize that the Bilt app has an ACH option for connecting my bank account that is available on the app but completely unavailable on their web portal (illegal?) >finally enter my routing and account numbers like a normal human being >app still tries to redirect me towards giving away my bank account password >avoid this again >Congratulations! Your account has been set up! >doomed to a future of both email and physical mail spam from Bilt trying to pressure me into a Bilt Rewards credit card that allows me to earn 4% of my spending back in Bilt Cash that can be redeemed at qualifying establishments, terms and conditions apply >this is considered an efficient mechanism for transferring money between two accounts

Nuke the entire financial industry.

[haughtyraban]

“there’s an ai tool for that” okay ?? there’s probably an ed sheeran song for it too who gives a fuck

[ohlivish]

hey did ya'll know that ed sheeran is working on a series of 6 albums named after media player buttons and the first one released last year and the last one is to be released posthumously on the day that he dies

[im-a-goat-in-disguise]

That doesn't sound right but I don't know enough about Ed Sheeran to prove otherwise

[knifefarty]

…huh

[milanesa42]

“The employees need a larger salary” “hmmmm large celery”

[thepromiscuousfinger]

[acolytics]

never let it be said i dont treat my miis right

[gaycop]

tiramisu

[segamascott]

first scrolled past like why did they use a picture of the dalai lama

[depsidase]

[pokemonstadium2]

when i was a child for multiple halloweens in a row my costume of choice was “fancy lady” who was a character i invented who looked like this

[pixiecaps]

big fan of whatever the youth is doing to torment scientology buildings

[pixiecaps]

they couldnt take the heat

[doctordotdj]

[justarandomart]

Shadow, do you have any idea how funny you are for asking that? Im dying

[oswednesday]

one time at a funeral i panicked and said the first drink i could think of and the bartender made me the pina colada With all the fixings all the trims all the bells and whistles i didnt even ask imagine youre at a funeral and the person besides you is drinking a pina colada with whip cream as tall as the drink with a cherry and an umbrella, thats what happened to me

[xalatath]

I wanna fuck you like a centipede

Blogger's Note: Centipedes reproduce by the male leaving a spermatophore (sperm packet) on the ground for the female to pick up - no intercourse is involved.