no, I will not

she/her, 20, hopeless

[raviolirph]

Reblog if your page is a safe space for anyone of any nationality and ethnicity.

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[asterinx14]

TADC EPISODE 9 SPOILER

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" unconsciously adoring each other's avatar "

[elibabette]

No more distance, please ❤️‍🩹

Happy Pride Month to everyone! 🏳️‍🌈

[bestatsavingface]

Accept yourself or suffer the consequences.

That is my big takeaway from Jax's story in The Amazing Digital Circus, and I love it. I can accept that people will have varying opinions on Jax, on his actions and inner self, and how he changed the circus irrevocably thanks to his choices.

But despite that, I need people to get that this is a story that should be told.

Spoilers below, scroll away if you haven't watched the finale.

Jax is a tragedy. He is a queer person stuck in a body they never asked for, a world they cannot escape from, and with a mind that cannot relax enough in this situation to accept himself or his current life. He hides behind a mask of his own making, and when it slips it terrifies him to the point of hurting whoever saw his true self shine through. He is a failure to thrive, be it the cause of his environment or himself or a mix of the many hurdles we all face when trying to hide from our truth. He is a quintessential LGBTQ+ story personified, even if people don't like to acknowledge that some stories are not good, are not kind. He couldn't accept himself, and it tore him and the people he cared about apart until there was nothing left.

Jax is also a happy ending, not in the circus, but outside of it. The real Jax, the person his circus copy came from, did not get his counterpart's tragic ending. He had the opportunity to grow and learn and become the person he wanted to be, or at least he's begun on that path. He's found friends with whom he can be honest, and he's found his place in the world. He accepted himself, proven through the confirmation that he frequents the real-life Zooble's bar, which is confirmed to be a queer social spot, the sort of place Jax from the circus wouldn't be caught dead in. The Jax outside is a version of him the circus version could never fathom becoming.

And ultimately, Jax is a warning. A cautionary tale. He is a bright purple neon sign telling us all to acknowledge those parts of us that scare us the most before they destroy us. He is both a reminder than things can get worse, but they can also get better. It all depends on the choices you make, the forgiveness you allow yourself to make them with, and the space you get to grow in. Not all of this is easily changed, but you don't need to start with all three. Give yourself the chance, though, and your happy ending could be right around the corner. And if you deny your truth? If you wield it like a weapon against people who try to help? Well, it just might hurt you next.

[niku831110]

I don't know what to do, I think I'm fallin' for ya♪

oh the day Angel's gonna learn Husk understands italian

[solriart]

this was kind of experimental, not sure i like how it turned out … but yk, you live(draw) & learn!!!

[i-write-shakespeare-not-disney]

Late response, it's been a Time, but--

Its actually really funny because i just had zanka lamenting the fact that he cant remember that night very well lmao

The way it all went down was basically Zanka of course had too much to drink and what happens when an emotionally repressed religious person drinks too much? Carpe diem. You do all the stupid shit because your brave now and that voice in your head is GONE.

Jabber was there a few friends who invited him out, not Raiders, just a random night out to go have fun. He was well on his way to wasted and high but i feel jabber has better control over it because higher tolerance and hes more used to it. Zanka definitely didnt have either of those things.

Theyd been kind of catching each other's eye for a while, Jabber trying to gauge interest, trying to see if its worth the small talk or if the guy even dances or if hes maybe with the girl that doesnt let him get even three feet away.

And suddenly the guy is making a beeline for him. Its kind of funny, kind of impressive, the way even drunk as he is, hes able to slip between people, eyes locked on him like a man on a mission and yeah, it strokes Jabber's ego. Usually when people want to get close to him, they pull all the usual. A superficial compliment, ask questions they dont actually care about the answers to, a suggestive touch, a suggestive look, try to make themselves seem more interesting and genuine than everyone else getting plastered at the bar or club or house party.

But not this guy. This guy saw him, wanted him, and acted on it.

Granted, Jabber expected a hello, whats your name at least. Not complaining at all though. Not when the guy kissed him and held onto him like hed already decided this was where he belonged.

He was wasted, but he was confident. The look in his eyes was hazy, but... happy. And damn he was pretty.

And this wasnt something he did regularly if the look on his redheaded friend's face was anything to go by. She looked impressed, excited, a little worried, but didnt seem intent on pulling them apart.

And then the teeth.

Teeth sinking into his shoulder right there in front of a crowd of people, damn near making Jabber fall to his knees.

The guy was a whirlwind. A powerhouse. Brazen. But apparently not on a daily basis. Because he kept telling his friend that he was gonna be different. That he wouldnt feel guilty. Closeted, maybe? But no. A closeted guy wouldnt be devouring him on the dancefloor, wouldnt move the way he did. Wouldnt say all the things he was saying against his throat and ear.

And that smile, ohhh that smile. It sank its hooks in him.

And somewhere in the haze of drinks and desperate kisses and demanding hands and thudding bass and swirling lights, the guy grabbed him with his hands on either side of his face, pretty blue eyes locked on him, looking at him with unreserved joy, like Jabber was the most important thing in the world. And he said something Jabber had never had someone say to him before.

I feel so free with ya. Like I'm a real person, not whatever they molded me into. Like I can be anything I wanna be. It's amazing. Yer amazing. I 'ont want this to end.

Followed by some very X-rated desires that had Jabber's heart hammering in his chest until they were stumbling over each other in a bathroom stall, swallowing each others laughter and gasping breaths, the taste of tequila on their tongues.

And despite the insistent hands and the heartbreaking pout, Jabber kept everything over their clothes. Drew him in and pressed against him and pulled soft breaths from those cute lips, and despite how badly he wanted more, he didn't let it get further. Because he wanted to see this guy again. Both of them sober.

And because his redheaded friend was knocking on the bathroom stall door, threatening to crawl under to get them out, and come on, the bar was closing, it was time to go.

And the guy held onto him tighter, shaking his head.

Jabber didn't want to let him go. This guy was something else, something fierce, someone Jabber wouldn't mind getting to know.

And by the time his redhead friend was waving goodbye, arm hooked with her friend's as they stumbled to a rideshare, Jabber realized he hadnt gotten his name or his number or his insta.

But he wasn't letting go of this that easily. Not when someone finally seemed worth the effort. If that meant coming back to this same bar until he happened to see him again, then thats what he would do.

[nomotakitosha]

Reverse Au Janka pt 3

[dumbnotstupidfuck]

I just reread the casting sheets for angel and husk and…like 90% of the discourse around their age gap would be nonexistent if ppl just…read them.

husk isn’t in his 70s, the character sheet says 50s/60s, and angel isn’t freshly 30, the sheet says ‘mid to late 30s’

≈37 and ≈58 isn’t crazy whatsoever, especially not for queer men???

[leoniejulie]

Wolfstar and Jegulus in Crimson Rivers by bizarrestars

[nikoisme]

“Do you think there is someone else out there?”

[theshippinghr]

i have like 30 more janka wips in progress this took so long

[hopelesslovebug]

jinki worship

[blueberry-matty]

OK BLUE HIGHLIGHTS

THE RED VELVET COAT NICKI GAVE HIM

LOUSTAT

IS SOMEONE DOING COCAINE OFF DANIEL?

BABY NOOOO THIS IS THE WITCHES' PLACE AAAAA

WHO'S THIS DIVA? MAYBE IM TRIPPING BUT IT DOESNT LOOK LIKE SHEILA???

HE'S TALKING TO DANIEL AAAAA

HE'S BEING DRAGGED OUT OF HIS AND NICKI'S BED BY MAGNUS NOOOO

DANIEL HELPING LESTAT!!!

AND...HOLY SHIT...

[fiftyfandomsinatrenchcoat]

wolfstar is That couple that gets so incredibly desperate about wanting kids when they see each other babysitting Harry

[lemorgo]

bonus

i swear i love zanka. i didn't mean to give him such a hard time- i just wanted to show some uncanny chill jabber (that zanka will get used to in future) but that idea went off somewhere weird

[lemorgo]

Mfs just be drawing whatever

I honestly forgot what happened before jabber got mesmerised by zanka but I guess jabber forgot too