From what I’ve gathered, there are two kinds of fans when it comes to Kanej:
There are those who love/ glorify Kaz and minimise Inej’s trauma and own issues with touch/ intimacy. They can admit that Inej’s armour speech, especially in the show, was not fair to him. She used “your armour” instead of “armour” as she did in the books, meaning her own too.
There are those who say Inej gets mostly forgotten, criticise her vision in the show and think she should be treated as her own person. Simultaneously, they say she’s his light and he needs her more than she needs him, generally and especially when it comes to healing. She can do nothing wrong in their eyes.
Then there’s me who is writing what could have happened in the Six of Crows spinoff and especially Kanej’s long journey of healing with each other afterwards and has discovered throughout that process that both are flawed, traumatised, imperfect, morally grey human beings who mess up, who make (stupid) mistakes and decisions, who hurt each other. All this does not hold them up from being madly and hopelessly in love with each other though.
The more I wrote, the more I tried to find their (hidden) fears, doubts and insecurities. With Kaz it was mostly easy.
With Inej it was harder because until now, she has a secure attachment towards her friends. With Kaz once he opens up, is vulnerable with her, gives her is unconditional love…that will change. It can overwhelm her nervous system that is not used to being treated this respectful, fond, careful way. It can also scare her to death. Trust issues she does not have with the others can occur with him, triggering in response his own fears and insecurities.
I think the reason why so many people overlook/ minimise her trauma is because it shows up in subtler ways than his (a flinch, a step back, a sharp intake of breath, the tensing of her shoulders).
The armour speech in the show was not fair to Kaz and Inej will realise it just as in the books once she admits to herself that she is not as healed/ unaffected by her own trauma as she would like to be already.
And in unpopular believe I think, seeing him in her vision was exactly what she needed. Of course she could have hallucinated about her time in the Menagerie, but it would not have hurt her as much as seeing Kaz almost kiss her. He asked for her consent what no man surely ever asked before. The vision made her realise what she wants, but simultaneously broke her heart. Not just because Kaz acted in her vision differently than he did in real life but because I think thoughts of being with him/ intimacy fills her with shame and guilt. How could she even let herself think this far after everything she’d been through?
Of course Inej has to learn to love her body again, but this does not mean that she does not need him. Kaz can overcome his touch aversion with Inej but also with their friends. He can learn to give hugs to Jesper, Wylan and Nina too. However, intimacy (emotionally as physically) is something different. It only involves two people. This means Inej will need him — more than she realises right now.
The light and darkness question is not that easy at first glance. Both have blood on their hands and darkness in each other. They save each other’s life over and over again. They understand each other on a deep level. They believe in each other. They have respect for each other’s past and still open wounds.
We are aware Kaz sees Inej as his light, his magic, too good for him, someone he does not deserve.
But who says Inej doesn’t or won’t see him as too good for her at some point, that she had never let herself belief in deserving someone like him after the Menagerie?
Kaz saw Inej when no one else did. He and his voice pulls her out of her past too. He gave her the hope back she nearly lost in the Menagerie. To underline that, I intentionally let her call him the light of her life.
Both see each other as their equal.
Why can’t we as fans do the same?
Kaz started to change in the end of Crooked Kingdom as in the end of season two when he bought off Kesh’s and the other girls’ indentures. This shows he can be someone different. Why do most fanfic writers still portray him the same as in the books in future fics though? Of course this does not mean that he will not have set backs and moments where his walls are back up and he shuts Inej out.
Why can’t we let Inej in fanfics be the one who messes up, who makes mistakes, who acts out on her own fears and insecurities, who pushes him away. It does not demonises her. It makes her human.
