You Can Call Me Chris @christinaeye18 - Tumblr Blog

Just remember life can always get worse

I don’t quite remember how he got in my apartment. But he was here. His face was clear as day. He came in with 2 other girls and it was clear i knew who they were. But there were no faces. It was as if they traveled far to get here they were tired. And the next thing i knew they were all asleep in my bed. The girls leave& say they will be back in a bit. It’s just me and him. The next thing i can remember he’s having a seizure one of the worst ones i ever saw and it’s like i reverted back to when we were together. Screaming to him, calling him babe, trying to get him to wake up. I said his name out loud but it didn’t come out right the first time-almost like i stuttered- bc i haven’t said his name out loud in 3 years.

He woke up. He’s now on my couch just resting. While all this is happening i had so many things i was supposed to get done & not a single thing did. All of a sudden these girls came back. But now they look different. They look older but they came through my door with a group of 10 people. Almost like they had theme park scare make up on. I wake him up freaking out telling him to get them tf out of my place. Time passes most of them leave with no issue except the 2 girls. Who went from being young in the beginning to almost hag like. They fought me on closing the door i couldn’t quite get the lock. 3 times they pushed it back open until i finally succeeded.

I remember the next bit only as a generalized theme of he and i catching up. And just talking. He told me how he had all this “fun stuff” planned for us. It was as if i was falling for it again. I’ve never seen his face this clear. Its now when reality started to come back to me. I had to tell him the truth and my nerves were high. As i got nervous his mood shifted. I watched his eyes turn to that darkness i knew all too well. I start crying my legs are shaking where I’m standing. He’s at the other side of the kitchen & i tell him how we can’t do this. And i raised my hand and pointed at my finger and just said “I’m married now. Since October. I have a husband.”

That darkness turned into a pathetic look. The door (that somehow keeps getting unlocked) swings open his family(that looks nothing like his real family) waltz in bringing hugs and food-specifically turkey as if it was Thanksgiving (but it wasn’t). I go to lock the door and up the stairwell comes a woman in leopard -running and then a man follows. Sees my doors crack and shoves the barrel of a gun into my door. A family member tries to help me close it and the man shoots off 3 warning shots into the ground before we close the door and he runs off laughing.

And then i woke up. That dream spanned over the course of at least 6-8 hrs. I already had trouble going to bed, tossed and turned til 1. Then laid on the couch til 3 with my cats. Finally felt tired so i went back to bed. I thought surely it would be 5am but when i looked at my phone to check the time only 30 minutes had passed. I woke up in a pool of sweat. My husband sound asleep next to me. I just cried.

#living with ptsd #nightmare #team no sleep

softestaries

big fan of how hudson williams hit hollywood like a canonball. he runs around like a little chaos gremlin pushing all the made up rules off the windowsill with his paw then stands by connor storrie like that makes him untouchable and it does.

pinoruno

i love this tweet

wool-and-flax

Tryna cleanly peel off the price sticker from your new book

woolandflax

otherwaybabe

So, apparently the answer to the question of "How long until Dan feels comfortable being sincerely romantic on camera?" is six and a half weeks.

dontholdontothevirus

my new image

veryfuckingphannie

The rebrand of Dan from "oh my god my best friend is such a dork and i'm a cynical bitch but we have fun together" to "i'm in love with this dumb bitch" is quite impressive, but Phil's rebrand from "i'm just a silly innocent guy with emo hair" to "i love talking about piss and gay sex to rile my boyfriend up and also i'm hot"??? Actually life changing

biherbalwitch

hyunpic

til death do us apart.. or whatever 🩷

hackercult

this weed got.me doing the dishes?

forcesensitivebantha

WHAT STRAIN.

WHAT STRAIN

helltitty

i’m online and ready to look at a picture!

rye-bread-the-2nd

why dont you look at THIS picture

missadelinecatgirl

shit that’s a good one

juenavei

what if kirby wore lipstick

gorgeous!!

tlirsgender

Sometimes a creative outlet is a fun little hobby and sometimes it's a lifelong affliction. Like I crochet because making little woven animals sparks joy and I'm a writer whether I like it or not because I'm tormented by visions

tlirsgender

Me crocheting: I made a duck ! ^_^

Me writing: pacing around talking to myself compelled by forces beyond my comprehension