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@chroniclecollective
I'm so tired of joining syscord servers and seeing "fusion" and "integration" and "dormancy" on blacklists. Those terms are quite literally indicative of healing. It means I'm healing and I'm not as traumatized from being thoroughly abused. Why the fuck do I need to censor my healing? Why do I need to censor when GOOD things happen to me? Fuck syscord for having this notion that fusion, integration, and dormancy are bad things
from Coping With Trauma-Related Dissociation
dissociative amnesia haver: wow i wish i remembered shit
dissociative amnesia havers when they remember:
dissociative amnesia havers when the memories then get taken from them:
How it feels when your system is trying to make any important decision
you are not a system without trauma.
your system did not form for any reason other than trauma.
"non-traumagenic" isn't a thing.
"traumaendo" isn't a thing.
trauma survivors shouldn't have to clarify that they're "traumagenic" because people want to roleplay on the internet.
go fuck yourself if you think that "endos" are valid. my trauma isn't a label you can wear.
you can not be a system without trauma.
you can not be a system without trauma.
you can not be a system without trauma.
[ID: STOP! this blog is a strictly anti-endo space! pro-endos and endo neutrals, shoo! shoo shoo!]
one of the most important things about dissociative identity disorder and generally being a system that i wish people would understand is that it truly isn’t as cut and dry as it may seem for member count.
you’ll see people who say they have “six alters” and then immediately assume it’s six fully fleshed out equal individuals with no confusion or fuzziness regarding identity. that’s simply not true in a majority of cases, as i have seen.
most systems still VERY much deal with confusion regarding potential splits, go through dissociative episodes where they’re unsure of who they are, sometimes feel no attachment towards any identities, feel like they might have split and then suddenly that person is gone, unsure if alters they haven’t heard from often have gone dormant, not sure how to react when alters do come out of dormancy, etc.
it’s not a fun feeling and it’s genuinely unfair in certain situations to force systems to list every single alter to you with full certainty, as if it will never change. because it will. for so many different reasons, systems will grow, they will shrink, they will fuse, they will develop. you can’t expect the person with the dissociative disorder and lack of core identity to be able to keep up a perfected list of forever, it’s simply impossible. you may have alters who stick with you, but that doesn’t mean changes won’t happen.
and systems who may be reading this — please don’t feel bad. you are not a hassle, you are not a headache, and you are not an inconvenience for simply coping with something like this. it’s out of your control and the only thing you can do is continue to cope to find ways to help yourself retrain from these reactions. please don’t allow yourself to be harmed by others who don’t understand what you are going through. there are people who will accept and love you for who you are, all of you.
past, present, and future.
experienced a trauma recently? you may be entitled to: a new fucking guy in your head
It is so fucking funny to see singlets go 'God it felt like I was someone else back there' and you just sitting there with the occasionally someone else disorder like 'Ah yes. No clue what that feels like'
sorry babe for switching out last night, the bitches in my head were throwing a smear campaign against you and trying to burn me at the stake. do you still love me
if you're driving stay the FUCK in front until you STOP DRIVING I have NO IDEA WHERE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE GOING
DOING ONE OF THESE ( that will probably flop but idgaf =^w^= )
System ask game ( bad things edition ! )
💋 : which headmate has the most red flags ? What are they ?
🩸 : which headmate would commit a crime if they could ?
💀 : which headmate would be canceled on tiktok / twitter ?
🕸️ : which headmate has the worst taste in partners ?
🦇 : which headmate has the problematic taste in music / content creators
🪓 : which headmate would be most likely to go to jail ? What would they go to jail for ?
🚬 : which headmate has the most ' problematic ' identity ? ( like mspec lesbian , afab transfem , amab transmasc , etc ) [ Not radqueer / transid , get out ya nasties ]
🔪 : who in your system would get you on r/system cringe , r/fakedisordercringe or r/cringetopia ?
⛓️ : which headmate would be most likely to start a physical fight ?
⚰️ : which headmate has a ' problematic / bad ' role in the system ?
🔥 : who has the most problematic source ?
Send some asks <3
So much more than "I feel like I'm someone else" , DID is so often "I feel like I'm in someone else's life". Like, this is not my house, these are not my clothes, that is not my cat, you are not my friends, but I've got to carry on anyway as though they're all mine and just hope that no-one notices that I'm walking in someone else's skin
when your productive alter goes dormant
╰💿