There’s days like today where I want to just rip out my heart to not feel anymore pain from grieving. I’m still hurting so much.. it’s never ending.. I just want to hold you again. I want to see your beautiful face. I wish nothing more than for you to be healthy and happy in this lifetime but that was taken from me and your daddy. I swear I can just die from this heartache. I’m trying to be strong for your dad and big brother but man.. I don’t know how much more I’m able to handle..
My heart breaks everytime I think of you sweet girl. I miss you so much these days.. and I’m so mad that you left me.. I still feel so empty.. It’ll be almost a year since you’ve left. And it doesn’t get any easier.. Ayla, I miss you 😭
When they say “time heals all wounds” you expect it to be true. But for me it’s not. I still feel empty inside. I can’t even describe how it feels to be empty. Like a hole in the pit of my stomach. It’s just cold all the time. My heart is not full anymore. It constantly aches.
I feel so guilty for being pregnant again.. to be able to save this baby and not you, my sweet girl. I’m sorry. I tried to put away your clothes again. I just couldn’t do it. My heart breaks every time I have to open up your closet. You should’ve been here. You should’ve been alive. You would’ve been 5 months old if you arrived in April. Oh what I would do to be able to hold you in my arms again.. but all I can do is kiss your urn and tell you I love you and miss you so much. Words can never explain how much I miss you. How my heart aches for you. It makes it so hard to breath sometimes. No one tells you how hard it is to lose your baby.. some days are so much better than other days. Like today I just want to hold you.. but I can’t and that hurts like hell.. I miss you ayla. Please visit mommy again okay? Be good up there ❤️
Tomorrow’s the day. The day you were suppose to arrive. The estimated birth date you were given.. April 15, 2021. I wish nothing more but for you to be here with us. To be physically here.. ALIVE. But there you are in heaven watching over all of us. I’m so sorry that I couldn’t have helped you survive in my belly. I’m sorry for not finding out sooner. I’m sorry my sweet baby girl. Remember mommy loves you so so much!! Until I meet you again Ayla. 💕💕💕
I got you another strawberry theme outfit. Strawberries was suppose to be our thing. That’s what I craved during pregnancy. I can imagine your chunky thighs in them. Kicking away.. 🥲 The other day when I went to the consignment store I was just singing regular and then the lyrics “Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? now that I've been lovin' you so long. How am I supposed to live without you? And how am I supposed to carry on? When all that I've been livin' for is gone” came on and then I just started screaming the lyrics and then I started bawling and sobbing and I couldn’t catch my breath. I did the ugly weeping. But I needed that moment to myself. It felt good to just cry. And not have anyone around to see me do it. I want to go hiking up into the mountains and just scream. Scream all my pain and frustration out. That’s what I need.. words cannot describe how much pain and heartache I’m in.. I think of you everyday. They say it’ll get easier and I’ll be okay but right now I’m still hurt and still sad and still so fucking angry. I put on a happy face for everyone but at the end of the day I still hold your urn and kiss you goodnight. I miss you so much baby. And I love you so so much.. please visit mommy okay?
Not me laying in bed and crying rn. Emotions really be hitting me lately and I’m not okay. April is quickly coming and you baby Ayla were suppose to be in our arms.. I’ll toast to you baby girl. Mommy misses you so goddamn much.. the pain in my heart hurts. I don’t think anyone can understand. It’s been a few weeks since I’ve cried. Cried over losing you. But today. Today was so tough.. I just feel sick to my stomach.. please visit mommy tonight. I need to see you again.. 🥺😭 I love you, Ayla. And mommy misses you so much!!
I still miss you everyday.. as I was outside taking popcorn on her potty break, I looked up to the sky and wondered where you are. I wanted to shout your name. To have you come back to me but sadly I know you wouldn’t answer me. I love you Ayla. Forever and always my sweet baby girl 👼🏻❤️
Ps. Time flies by like crazy. Almost 3 months without you inside of me.
My husband and I recently went through a devasting and traumatic event of losing our daughter, Ayla Mae due to preterm labor on November 29th at 20 weeks and 3 days.
We were able to spend 2 days with our little angel..creating memories to last a lifetime. Which had prompted us to want to start a fundraiser in Ayla’s name, to go towards donating a Cuddle Cot to the maternity ward at Providence Hospital in Everett, WA.
A Cuddle Cot is a cooling device that is inserted into a bassinet or crib to keep it cool/refrigerated, so that it will help to preserve baby’s body; allowing grieving parents those extra couple of days to spend with their baby, to hug them, hold them, kiss them and take pictures with them. The Cuddle Cot allows grieving parents to bond with their babies and make memories that they wouldn't otherwise have been able to do.
No parent should ever have to bury their child, but this will allow parents to create long lasting memories and to bond with their baby. Those memories will literally be the only memories they have of their child for the rest of time. Cuddle Cot will allow parents that time to spend with their baby without feeling rushed.
I would love you to help us reach our goal of $7000, supporting this cause by making a donation of any amount, and please feel free to share to different social media outlets if you cannot donate.
We want to thank you all for your time and appreciate all your donations to help us to honor our baby Ayla.
https://gofund.me/24625393
Hi everyone,
My husband and I recently went through a devasting and traumatic event of losi… Christina Saem needs your support for In
My husband and I recently went through a devasting and traumatic event of losing our daughter, Ayla Mae due to preterm labor on November 29th at 20 weeks and 3 days.
We were able to spend 2 days with our little angel..creating memories to last a lifetime. Which had prompted us to want to start a fundraiser in Ayla’s name, to go towards donating a Cuddle Cot to the maternity ward at Providence Hospital in Everett, WA.
A Cuddle Cot is a cooling device that is inserted into a bassinet or crib to keep it cool/refrigerated, so that it will help to preserve baby’s body; allowing grieving parents those extra couple of days to spend with their baby, to hug them, hold them, kiss them and take pictures with them. The Cuddle Cot allows grieving parents to bond with their babies and make memories that they wouldn't otherwise have been able to do.
No parent should ever have to bury their child, but this will allow parents to create long lasting memories and to bond with their baby. Those memories will literally be the only memories they have of their child for the rest of time. Cuddle Cot will allow parents that time to spend with their baby without feeling rushed.
I would love you to help us reach our goal of $7000, supporting this cause by making a donation of any amount, and please feel free to share to different social media outlets if you cannot donate.
We want to thank you all for your time and appreciate all your donations to help us to honor our baby Ayla.
https://gofund.me/24625393
Hi everyone,
My husband and I recently went through a devasting and traumatic event of losi… Christina Saem needs your support for In
Planning on writing aylas birth story. I want people to know about her. How precious she was. How in love I was the moment I found out I was having another baby. It’ll happen soon.
One thing that I regret the most is that I should’ve gone back into the hospital room after my panic attack to give you one last goodbye kiss. To touch and hold you one last time before letter you go. Leaving you alone In that cold room without me and your dad by your side was heart wrenching. I reply this moment in my head over and over again. I know I need to stop but I just want you to know that I love you so much.. and I wish I would’ve gone back into that room. Room 308. Room 308 forever etched into my head. That nightmare room.. I’m so sorry.. 👼🏻❤️
annaxmalina
germansingergirl
kianamaiart
izzy806