Chrysalis Effect

This is about my struggle, my failures and my successes in becoming a better person. I am hoping that I can use this as a way to bring about a change in my life for the better.

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EEE! My teacup came in. In the cutest packaging. It's sooo beautiful! I can't wait to drink from it! #tea #teacup #teaset #peacock #proudasapeacock #teatime #icantwait #because #pleased #thelittlethings #excited #shopping #classy #pinkysout

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Finally after having this piece for like five years it will finally have a home This is going to be a part of Mîrostel's back story: a tear from Ko'ona Kai. Ko'ona Kai is a massive water elemental that makes it's home on the aisle of the sea elves. Mîrostel would go to the dominion and sing there to adept and elemental alike with ballad and canticle. If Ko'ona Kai was there, they would still the tide for a moment to better hear the spellsinger's aria. Before Mîrostel left their hidden isle, Ko'ona Kai gave him crystallized sea water, with a small bit of luminescent sand so Mîrostel would always have a bit of home with him where ever he went. After all what is a Sea Elf without the Sea? #jewelry #glow #glowjewelry #character #backstory #tidbits #connections #characterbackstory #characterhistory #story #characterdesign #design #flare #larp #larping #costume #costuming #costumepieces #costumejewelry #elf #water #magic #dyingkingdoms #ocean #sea #inspired #finally

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The Story Tree So my grandmother has three trees we put up every year: the toy tree, the story tree, and the crystal tree. I've always loved this one. It's decorated with miniature books, book marks, and has little stuffed animals from books: Stella Luna and The topper of the hungry little catipiller (who on Christmas Day gets turned into a butterfly). #christmas #christmastree #tree #lights #story #books #storytime #decoration #decorating #theme #themedtree #holiday #happyholidays #toys #train #treesofinstagram #winter #tistheseason #traditions #family #familytradition #library

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When you a summer fae, and it's winter: this is fine #fae #elf #seasons #larp #larping #winter #summer #welp #screaminginterally #thisisfine #ohdear #character #characterselfie #elfie #selfie #characterpicture #larpingislife

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Happy birthday to this amazing woman: my beautiful sister! And here is to many, many long years of love, happiness, and light. #happy #birthday #birthdaygirl #happybirthday #happybirthdaytoyou #family #cake #birthdaycake #fire #makeawish #november #sagittarius #sibilings #goodnight #love #homemadefood #homemade #celebration #sister

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"Win-jasi set down her brush and closed her eyes , running them with ink stained fingers. She'd scribed the poetic description of the first harmonic element. Only four more to go until she completed this section of her spell book. She placed her Jade Dragon Amulet on the already dried pages. She was done for one night, tomorrow however held the promise of several other pages." I was really inspired to start working on Win's spellbook again. However each time I work on it, it's like another part of her story falls into place, or I learn a little more about her. #calligraphy #spellbook #ink #book #magic #larp #larping #props #discovery #coin #jade #dragon #dyingkingdoms #prep #asianinspired #icantwait

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Sinless Quin: a chaste mender of Torquin, God of Purity and Judgement. #LARP #rendalirremembered #Rendalir #Remembered #blessed #onlythepurest #costumes #cosplay #costuming #characters #Rollplay #liveaction #wyrdcon

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From spore to table. These are absolutely delicious. #dinnertime #dinner #foodie #food #experiment #success #sweetsuccess #mushroom #mushrooms #delicious #organic #backtotheroots #yum #yummy

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Ooo! Lookit! Lookit! Look at what got harvested for tonight's dinner! We're havering a salad bar and I can not wait to fry these guys with peppers, garlic and jalapeños! I picked most of them but I left a few to spore so maybe I'll get another harvest! Buuut we shall see!! #mushroomfarmer #greenthumb #mushrooms #harvest #experiment #food #foodie #dinner #dinnertime

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I really like these silver frames. I think silver and maybe thicker dark frames might be in the future from my glasses shop.

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Beauty: a Rant?

What is beauty?  Now before I get all philosophical, I thought it just best to think this thing out. I have heard in the past various different things about beauty, and seen various different things about what people consider to be beautiful or attractive. Currently, it would seem as though what is thought of being beautiful is a tall, whitish women, who is almost rail thin.  I... I dunno about that. while I'm am sure they're very picturesque, I find beauty is something else entirely. With my friend group alone I know people who are overweight who are beautiful. I have friends who work out and eat right (or not right and they just put on a show in public, ya lucky dogs!) who are beautiful. So if physicality isn't what entices me, what is?

Methinks personality plays most heavily into what is beautiful. In my life experiences, the people who I consider beautiful/handsome/attractive/whathaveyou have been people with good personalities. I was talking to my sister about this a while ago, and she mentioned how there are some men who are drop dead gorgeous, but they are rude and uncouth, and mean. That in and of itself was a deal breaker. If you're beautiful, but your disgusting in your heart; it shows. It has this weird warping effect, you simply become... plain, or worse. I am sure there have been studies on this, and I'd be interested in finding some and reading up on it, then sharing them.  So what is a good personality? What I personally think of as a "good" personality is some one who cares about other's besides themselves, some one who is genuine, who loves, some one who accepts. I am sure that is not an exclusive list, but it gets the ball rolling. But beyond people beauty, I find that there are a wide spectrum of things that are beautiful. I personally love the artistry of a sunset, or the flow of a river. The architecture of a well built church or mosque or the swirl of illuminated text are things I can find immense pleasure in as well. My own dog, Briar, I think is the most beautiful dog in the world. Beauty I feel should be simple. This in and of it self could be argued is a hard thing to attain, and I could agree with that. The whole idea of this project for me was the appreciate my own beauty and to become a person who has a positive effect on my community.   On another note, I think beauty goes hand in hand with enjoyment. I enjoy things that I find beautiful. Some might attribute this to an artistic soul, or fine tastes.I would argue the opposite. I like simple things, and to me beauty is not a thing that requires work. People and things just ARE beautiful. I mean sure it is fun to dress up in a good shirt and an awesome tie, and while that is another type of beauty, I'm not sure it applies to what I'm trying to get across here, so I'm just going to leave that where it is.  I think the long and short of what I'm trying to get across goes hand and hand with my idea of this whole Chrysalis Effect. Beauty ultimately, I feel comes from within a person. And that beauty is found side by side with acceptance and love. Love yourself, love people around you, love the place your in. You only get to be in that moment once, even if it is a bad moment. You are beautiful. 

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Stitch, stitch, stitch! Clean, clean, clean!

The fight goes on. Chaos creeps back into my life as I get busy with other things, like work ( YAY! I have the last "meeting" with my work Wednesday so I can resume working as a... Um... I forgot what my title actually is, Activities specialist? for the Boys and girl's club.) But what has replaced work, for the summer at least, has been a repetitive cleaning and sewing.  Now I know that some people get an adrenalin rush from working out and enjoy it. I'm meh about working out, but lordy when I clean or when I sew for that matter, I get so zenned. Its odd I think, but bringing order to chaos, or just sprucing up the place, it gives me this sense of accomplishment. I don't know if anyone else does, but hey! That is what the Chrysalis Effect is about for me, making my quality of life the best it can be.  I wish I had more time to work out though. If I'm not cleaning, I'm being a seamster (yes I know, seamster isn't a real thing, I just like how it sounds.). I've made a good few costumes in the past week or so, and when I'm not doing that, I've been sewing things for my mother's classroom. YAY! I'm self employed... sorta. I get to pay for my phone and car this way. And With School and work about to come back, I guess I wont need to do AS much. Which I'm really excited about! OMGERD! School will be so exciting. I get to do my internship for my SLPA program! It can't come fast enough. On the flip side, I'll have barely enough time, as I'm also looking for a secondary job. I am going to keep my fingers crossed for Joann's. BUT I doubt they'll actually hire me, give our track record (Joann's! Why do you not love me?! We would be so good together, I would give you MOST of my money back)  This weekend? I am going to go to Empty Thrones. I'm so excited, this game is sooo high quality for such a nominal fee! I'm so happy about this game. I'm playing yet ANOTHER noble character, And another one that is lawful good. So this shall be fun. I can't wait to see how the Rogalhiem people react to him. He, like most of his bloodline (a people called the Cursed, or the Mylyrael) have rather demonic looking features. My character has a tail that is tufted and horns that I bought from this wonderful lady: http://www.etsy.com/people/EldritchArts?ref=af_circ_favitem. They're just perfect! I also have a wisp that is my character's Familiar that I made with a clip and some LED lights. It looks amazing, and I will post pictures after game. With that I have to get back to stitching.  Much love! 

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PURGE!

So here we go. the next step in the Chrysalis-Effect is to purge my living space. I want to change my life? I have to change how I live, and that includes the atmosphere. I'm working on getting rid of OLD stuff (like my boyscout uniforms, trash, and things I just don't use) I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but a deep clean like this sorta feels like you're throwing out bad ch'i. You're removing clutter, removing the things you don't need, or wont help. 

I don't know if this will help, but hey! at least I'll have a living space I ACTUALLY want to be in, instead of being like... Mmm, I'll sleep here and then get the heck out of dodge. so much dust and clutter can't be good. plus you know... allergies? and with the clean, maybe I'll pop less pills for stuff like congestion. That has to be good. 

Then there are mementos that I stare at far too long. I am a horder by nature. I want to remember everything that has happened to me, its what made me, me. I've found a box with all the boutineers from EVERY SINGLE dance I've ever gone too. Good memories, but then I also find stuff like the prayer cards from my Grandfather's funeral fifteen years ago. I have mixed feeling throwing stuff like that away. I figure I'll save a few mementos (like the prayer card) but most of the stuff is going to good will and others will be just chucked. 

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First Day of the Chrysalis-Effect

Hokay, so here it goes, I'm hoping that with this I can start a couple of changes with my life. I started with cutting my hair yesterday, my locks are going to a cancer patient. I've had too many close friends and family be taken by that, so I thought, I'd at least donate to help in some way. 

But for me. I am starting at 250 lbs, and my current goal is go loose 50 of them. From there I will figure out what to do with myself. I am going to be going on this trip with my wonderful sister and Patrick who are determined to keep me on track to my goals. So here is to hoping that we can make it this time. If not, well you need to stand back up and get back on track. You're only a looser if you let yourself lay in the dirt. *flex* Alright. Lets do this.